Subtitles by Joe Castagnin Edited by Seán Mayle and Ross Scott
So is it on?
Yeah, start whenever you're ready.
It's recording from that camera up there.
Alright!
Hey folks. I'm Mike, this is my partner Dave.
Hey!
We're part of your local Civil Protection team
and with Halloween coming up,
we're here to talk to you about some safety issues.
That's right!
Now, the first thing we'd like to cover is vandalism.
It always goes up around Halloween because young people are out causing trouble
and there's only so much we can do about it.
But there's one thing we'd really like to focus on, and that's mailbox bombs.
Not only are these illegal, but they're simply dangerous.
Yeah, Mike's not kidding.
You can get your hands blown off if you do it wrong
and don't know the stress levels of the container you're using.
That too.
It's a felony, you're destroying government property, just don't do it.
Oh yeah, and what you especially shouldn't do is
take a 2 liter bottle of chlorine that contains sodium hypochlorate
and then mix it with some sugar and water,
because then you're just asking for trouble.
Uh... yeah, that's not a bad point but, uh...
maybe we should, y'know, not tell 'em how to
make bombs in the first place?
I don't think that's what the sergeant had in mind
when he asked us to make this video.
Well we don't want anybody making one by accident.
I don't think that's likely. But uh... moving along...
One thing we need to mention- if you go trick-or-treating, great.
But if you go to anybody's house where they answer the door naked,
please call us immediately.
Now, you may think that they're just playing a joke or acting a little weird, but no.
It never amounts to anything good.
We find that's usually just the tip of the iceberg with these people.
Oh, man! Like the Arbuckle residence?
Where we went in the basement and found those three dead t-
Shut up Dave!
Okay, next item is fireworks.
Now, you wouldn't think that this would be an issue around this time of year,
but we definitely get some related injuries, so be careful.
Yeah, and keep it reasonable, guys.
'Cause if you dissolve Styrofoam in gasoline, then you have napalm
and then there's no end to the kind of hell you can raise with that stuff.
Man, what are you doing?
What?
You just told them how to make napalm!
I didn't even know how to do that!
Well it's bad news!
If that stuff gets on you while it’s burning, it's NOT coming off.
So then why tell them how to make it, genius?
Don't give me your crap!
This is a lot better than YOUR idea about werewolf attack prevention!
But that's important!
Hey, we're still recording guys.
Mike, that's retarded.
Hey SHUT UP!
My cousin got bit a few years ago by-- [Pounding at door]
Oh what now?!
Now we HAVE to start over!
Damnit, we're never gonna finish this thing!
[Pounding continues]
I thought you said nobody was supposed to be coming in here!
They're not. We have permission to be here, it's scheduled and everything.
Yeah we hear you! Just hold on a minute!
[Pounding gets louder] Do you hear this crap? Who the hell is this?!
If this is some drunk, I'm arresting them.
I don't care how much it delays the end of my shift.
Okay, OKAY! What's so friggin' importan-
[Crash] [Zombie Roars]
What is that?!
Get down!
[Gunshots] [Zombies Scream]
What's going on?!
[Dave grunts] [Chairs clatter]
[Camera man screams]
[Zombie sounds continue]