Subtitles by Seán Mayle Edited by Ross Scott
This is SO stupid!
Come on man! This is gonna be awesome!
Yeah, well I don't think of dying as being very awesome.
You'll be fine, I have it all worked out. I have the perfect spot to jump off.
Dave! Are you out of your damn mind?! Don't do it!
Why not?
Because you'll get killed, you nutjob!
Huh?
That apparently doesn't bother you any, but I'll feel terrible if that happens.
Especially if it's because of some brain-dead whimsy of yours.
Plus, I don't wanna fill out three hundred paged of paperwork trying to explain this.
If I say that my partner, out of the blue,
decided it would be a fun idea to kill himself right in front of me...
...that's not gonna sound too good. In fact, that'll sound REALLY BAD!
So are you coming, or what?
No, you crazy bastard!
Wuss!
Lunatic!
Dude, this is YOUR LOSS.
*train horn*
Come on, I can hear it coming, let's go.
No!
Fine then. I'll meet you back here.
Enjoy watching...
Wuss.
Yeah!
Jesus...
You're crazy.
You say that, but you ain't listenin' to what I'm sayin'.
The POINT IS that you can't--
WHOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!
-What?
What the hell...?
Woohoo!
[thinking] Oh this is great. It's gonna be dark soon, and Dave's still not back yet.
[thinking] Good job, Mike! You get to tell Command that your partner's missing
[thinking] because he decided to jump off a bridge and go train surfing.
[thinking] Like anyone's going to believe that.
[thinking] Hey, wait a minute, what if he's dead?
[thinking] He could have slipped and got caught under the tracks.
[thinking] They'll want my badge for allowing this to happen.
[thinking] Or worse yet, think that I killed him and press charges.
[clears throat]
[thinking] They could hang me for that.
[thinking] Jesus, maybe I shoulda jumped.
[thinking] It would have been quicker than waiting for the noose.
Mike!
Dave! You're not dead!
Dude!
I TOLD you it was gonna work!
Well I stand corrected!
Well, you still have a chance to redeem yourself.
The 8:15 should be along here any minute now.
Whoa, now wait a minute...
Oh COME ON, man!
Damnit Dave, we don't have time to be taking joyrides!
We're supposed to be on patrol, remember?
Oh yeah? Well I think I've covered a lot more ground than you have.
[exasperated] Aarhhh...
Tell you what; you jump with me, and I'll buy lunch all of next week.
Hey wait, are you serious? All of next week?
Yeah.
*train horn*
Well?
Fine, you're on.
But I want some Chinese food next week.
Some Kung Pao chicken or something...
Alright, let's do this!
Moo goo gai pan...
Sweet and sour pork...
Just follow my lead.
Here we go!
Teriyaki...
Mike! You oka--
[groaning and sobbing]
That was STUPID!
[groaning and sobbing]
[deep breaths] DAVE!!
I'm never listening to you again!
[sobbing]