1 00:00:03,927 --> 00:00:09,072 Subtitles by Janet Brotherton Edited by Ross Scott 2 00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,879 Brooahhh! Coffee coffee coffee! 3 00:00:12,318 --> 00:00:12,704 Coffee! 4 00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:15,628 It's not as strong as methamphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth. 5 00:00:16,214 --> 00:00:19,954 Oh, this is just a walk-in freezer. I don't want any snow cones. 6 00:00:21,029 --> 00:00:22,314 I can't go back. 7 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,836 Ah, maybe there's another air vent. Then I can crawl away forever. 8 00:00:26,237 --> 00:00:28,654 Ice. They need one of those safety signs. 9 00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:31,188 Uhk! Pig guts. 10 00:00:31,819 --> 00:00:35,302 You know, I'm starting to wish I hadn't gotten wet earlier. It's cold in here. 11 00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:37,622 Well, more blood. 12 00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:39,104 Hey! Where's the party? 13 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:39,806 Oh god! 14 00:00:40,068 --> 00:00:41,361 Ok, lead the way. Where are we going? 15 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:45,190 What?! You're going to hide in the corner? Are you five years old?! 16 00:00:47,869 --> 00:00:51,247 Man, now I'm almost out of bullets. Are you happy? I'm not! 17 00:00:51,282 --> 00:00:53,842 You know what? You can stay in the corner. You've earned it. 18 00:00:54,031 --> 00:00:56,989 I'm gonna come back with a dunce cap for you and you're gonna wear it! 19 00:00:57,382 --> 00:01:00,239 God, look at how big that thing is! And the teeth! 20 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,606 I need more bullets. I can't be wrestling these things with my bare hands. 21 00:01:04,122 --> 00:01:06,313 Or a chainsaw! That would be cool. 22 00:01:06,348 --> 00:01:08,307 *makes chainsaw noise* 23 00:01:08,342 --> 00:01:12,223 I need a chainsaw and a hockey mask. Then we'll see who messes with me. 24 00:01:12,242 --> 00:01:15,100 YES! Some more thoughtful people left me their ammo. 25 00:01:15,556 --> 00:01:20,036 Is that a hand grenade? Oh my god, it is! It's like Christmas around here. 26 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:23,644 People are gonna crap their pants if I wave this around. 27 00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:25,291 They'll do anything I want. 28 00:01:25,529 --> 00:01:29,877 I'm saving this for later. I'm not gonna waste this on just anybody. 29 00:01:30,326 --> 00:01:32,967 Yep, back to lead salad for the rest of you. 30 00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:34,336 What's that noise? 31 00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:38,504 QUIET! 32 00:01:39,101 --> 00:01:41,432 Does the kitchen slaughter hogs in here? 33 00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:48,890 Yeah, that's right. Just puke on my suit. It doesn't matter anymore. 34 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,904 It's already got blood all over it. 35 00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:55,196 Most of it's not even my blood- it's from the OTHER alien that puked on me. 36 00:01:56,699 --> 00:02:00,004 I'm probably carrying a few blood-borne diseases on my suit. 37 00:02:00,301 --> 00:02:03,948 I'm a walking CDC nightmare. It makes me wanna hug someone. 38 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:06,205 You know, with all these meat slab hanging I- 39 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:10,735 DAMN IT! Will you stop doing that?! I can't concentrate when you do that! 40 00:02:11,272 --> 00:02:12,130 What was I thinking about? 41 00:02:12,439 --> 00:02:14,799 Oh yeah, how are they getting those meat slabs in here? 42 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:17,599 I thought there'd be a loading bay. Do they just hike them through the labs? 43 00:02:19,119 --> 00:02:24,096 AH, damnit. I've gone in circles again. This always happens. 44 00:02:24,899 --> 00:02:26,544 HEY! There's my air vent. 45 00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:29,096 Does it lead back there? 46 00:02:30,656 --> 00:02:33,431 Yeah, there's another dead guy. That's a good sign, right? 47 00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:39,161 It's kind of a bummer. Here I thought I was being original, but it looks like everybody's doing the air vent thing. 48 00:02:39,384 --> 00:02:40,945 Why can't I start my OWN fad? 49 00:02:44,154 --> 00:02:48,316 I guess I'm the only one who hasn't died doing this. That's kind of original around here. 50 00:02:48,446 --> 00:02:51,594 I still can't believe those idiots crawled into the fan blades. 51 00:02:51,811 --> 00:02:56,097 I once bet my old roommate to stick his hand in a blender and even he wasn't dumb enough for that. 52 00:02:58,791 --> 00:03:02,896 But you are! HA! I bet you don't even have a frontal lobe. 53 00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:04,849 I'll take that. 54 00:03:05,332 --> 00:03:07,000 What's that thing? A car battery? 55 00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:10,891 That's not really worth pawning. It looks heavy, I'll leave it. 56 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,454 Ah, nuts. I forgot to make a dunce cap for that guy. 57 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,148 I was hoping I could find some poster board and a marker. 58 00:03:17,471 --> 00:03:19,013 Oh, well. I'm not going back for him. 59 00:03:19,649 --> 00:03:21,208 I'm not going back for anybody. 60 00:03:23,682 --> 00:03:26,864 Whoa! A human skull. That would go great with my collection. 61 00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,671 Hmm, maybe I'll wait. I don't want to clean it myself. 62 00:03:30,112 --> 00:03:32,992 Besides, I think Eddie said he was gonna get some more in for pretty cheap. 63 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:34,442 Where the hell am I? 64 00:03:34,704 --> 00:03:40,661 I should be careful. If I were to die right now I bet NO ONE would find my body. I can't let that happen. 65 00:03:41,124 --> 00:03:44,852 When I die, for my funeral, I want them to be shootings bombs off in the air, 66 00:03:44,887 --> 00:03:48,217 and have two F-16 fighter jets doing barrel rolls overhead. 67 00:03:48,676 --> 00:03:51,680 That would be AWESOME. And really, it's what I deserve. 68 00:03:52,162 --> 00:03:54,748 God, who designed this room? M.C. Escher? 69 00:03:55,044 --> 00:03:58,212 It's like one of those little gerbil mazes where you make them run through the tubes. 70 00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,139 Except they get to cheat because th- 71 00:04:00,678 --> 00:04:01,235 What? 72 00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:04,820 because their tubes are transparent. And they're gerbils. 73 00:04:05,436 --> 00:04:06,971 I bet you eat gerbils. 74 00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:08,789 WELL I'M NOT A GERBIL! 75 00:04:11,531 --> 00:04:14,224 God DAMN those things are nasty! 76 00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:17,907 And it's flicking me off. I think. 77 00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:23,798 Why is there a ladder here if it doesn't go anywhere? I don't know... 78 00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:29,782 A scientist's job it to try and make sense of the world around him, but this whole building is crazy. 79 00:04:30,084 --> 00:04:35,086 Blocked exits, Gordian Knot air ducts, a giant box-smashing room. 80 00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:36,201 It doesn't add up. 81 00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:40,421 The only time I feel like I know what I'm doing is when I'm shooting or breaking things. 82 00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:43,174 No wonder we spend so much money making missiles. 83 00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:46,828 I thought today's experiment might work, but instead we blew up everything. 84 00:04:48,479 --> 00:04:49,533 That's what we do. 85 00:04:50,175 --> 00:04:52,668 Man, fighting in this vent is kind of cramped. 86 00:04:52,703 --> 00:04:56,742 It reminds me of that Jackie Chan movie where he fights some dude under a train car. 87 00:04:56,978 --> 00:04:58,366 That must have been hard. 88 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,537 SURPRISE! 89 00:05:00,738 --> 00:05:02,276 Yo, security, WAKE UP! 90 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:08,278 Yeah, little slow, buddy. That other guy below us is way faster than you! 91 00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:12,275 -Guard: Hey, don't count on the cavalry finding us down here. Head for the surface! 92 00:05:12,318 --> 00:05:15,539 Yeah, what do you think I've been doing, Gomer? Standing around picking my nose? 93 00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:18,455 -Guard: The elevators are out of order, but we can still climb. 94 00:05:18,498 --> 00:05:22,059 Yeah, tell that to your dead co-workers. I found a few of them in the vents. 95 00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:23,113 OH GOD! 96 00:05:23,548 --> 00:05:29,652 Oh, man. I thought I almost fell for that turret gun again. Because this stairway looks EXACTLY like that other one. 97 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:30,969 I still don't understand why- 98 00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:35,529 AHH! AH! See I was READY for that. You can't teach this. 99 00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:38,601 Let's face it, not everyone is cut out to be me. 100 00:05:38,636 --> 00:05:42,599 I'm a physics crunching badass. I'm the complete package. 101 00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:45,822 Oh, HEY HEY! Can you open this door up? 102 00:05:46,535 --> 00:05:47,948 Why is he adjusting his tie? 103 00:05:48,532 --> 00:05:50,618 OH, it must be a one-way mirror. 104 00:05:50,922 --> 00:05:55,297 I can't say I'm surprised by that anymore. We're a monument to misspending. 105 00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:58,151 I wonder if the CEO just rubs himself with money. 106 00:05:58,783 --> 00:06:01,319 WHOA! That guy's got some moves. 107 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,128 Yeah see, your form sucks! 108 00:06:04,696 --> 00:06:08,056 Aw man! Why'd you have to kill that guy? 109 00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:11,018 He's the only cool person I've seen. 110 00:06:11,844 --> 00:06:15,355 Anyone who'll dive through a window at his age is cool in my book. 111 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,345 Grandpa was a fighter. 112 00:06:17,706 --> 00:06:19,906 Ohhh! More grenades! 113 00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:25,582 I think two will do me. I'd test one right now, but I don't wanna level the building until I'm out of it. 114 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,556 Why is it so hard to get out of the building? 115 00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:31,951 It's like EVERYWHERE I TURN, there's another obstacle I have to dance around. 116 00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:35,720 I bet there's spikes at the bottom of this shaft. There may as well be. 117 00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:38,452 Oop, got another dangler. 118 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,819 I bet somebody's wishing they could do a pull-up right about now. 119 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:44,880 Man, you have to be out of shape not to do one pull-up. 120 00:06:44,915 --> 00:06:47,644 You'd think that elevator shaft would get the adrenaline going. 121 00:06:47,914 --> 00:06:50,543 It does with me, and I'm not the one about to die. 122 00:06:50,647 --> 00:06:56,309 Yeah, that the nice thing about staying fit in an academic field- you can beat up most of your co-workers if you have to. 123 00:06:58,425 --> 00:06:59,767 Yeah, see I can do a pull-up. 124 00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:01,280 ALRIGHT! 125 00:07:02,099 --> 00:07:02,858 Fucker... 126 00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:04,057 Okay, well… 127 00:07:04,102 --> 00:07:05,571 Hey, hey! Snack machine. 128 00:07:07,572 --> 00:07:08,859 Gimme some Doritos! 129 00:07:09,076 --> 00:07:10,714 What is this? Plexiglass? 130 00:07:11,419 --> 00:07:13,430 Alright, alright. I've got some change. 131 00:07:17,446 --> 00:07:18,847 B-6 132 00:07:26,063 --> 00:07:28,799 *eating chips* 133 00:07:29,163 --> 00:07:31,107 "Nacho Cheesier"...