1 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,300 Subtitles by Janet Brotherton Edited by Ross Scott 2 00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:12,930 Damn it! How come that catwalk doesn't have any supports? 3 00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:16,410 The last one had dangling cables after it collapsed. 4 00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:20,480 If I had one of those I could swing across to the other side like Tarzan. 5 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,990 That would be DOPE. 6 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:23,890 They did that in Star Wars, too. 7 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:27,260 Dude swinging across a gap with some babe holding onto him. 8 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,190 That was a grappling hook, though. 9 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,170 That's what this suit needs, a grappling hook. 10 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,560 Then I could swing my way to victory 11 00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:37,040 instead of performing this balancing act. 12 00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:40,940 Bugs can crawl on walls. Maybe I should have been a bug. 13 00:00:41,070 --> 00:00:42,750 Go team Kafka! 14 00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:46,090 I at least want four arms like the god Shiva. 15 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:48,510 Okay, now I have some options. 16 00:00:48,550 --> 00:00:51,160 I can either fall to my death in this black pit, 17 00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:54,880 land on the edge and gore myself on the jagged metal mesh, 18 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,450 or land on the concrete and maybe break my legs! 19 00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:00,090 And before, all I had was the pit. 20 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:06,180 Geez! I'm gonna have arthritis by the time I'm 30 at this rate. 21 00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:08,890 Assuming I even live that long! 22 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,990 Ah, who am I kidding? I've got a gun. 23 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:15,200 Oh what the hell? ANOTHER catwalk is out? 24 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:19,370 And what is THAT? It's got tentacles for a face. 25 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:21,350 It's a Cthulhu dog. 26 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,900 Well, it's attacking the face huggers; it can't be all bad. 27 00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,990 I'll just wait until it's done with them and - 28 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,290 *coughing* *choking* 29 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:33,040 UGH! Tastes like dead caterpillars. 30 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,330 Okay, squid head! 31 00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:41,040 Say hello to Yog-Sothoth and the Elder Gods for me! 32 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:44,090 Hey, a rope! Now I can be Tarzan! 33 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,430 *Tarzan yell* 34 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,810 Hey, wait. That's not a rope. 35 00:01:47,860 --> 00:01:51,240 That's a- these are like jellyfish or something. 36 00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:54,030 If I swung on that it could come crashing down on me. 37 00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:56,800 These aliens are just good for nothing. 38 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,650 These crates are good for something. This one just broke my fall. 39 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:05,540 That means that aliens are worth less than crates. 40 00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,500 Which is what? A few bucks. 41 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:09,540 *rinses mouth* 42 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:12,550 Ah. Well at least I got to rinse my mouth out. 43 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,500 What I really need is some toothpaste, 44 00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,410 but now it tastes a little bit less like squid snot. 45 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:21,050 If that water is toxic, too then at least the toxins are tasteless. 46 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:23,650 I'll have time to worry about mouth cancer later. 47 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,700 Hey, wait. What's up with this ceiling? 48 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:32,260 THAT looks like a ceiling designed to have moving walls that crush people. 49 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,010 Well, there's no blood stains. 50 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,520 Oh, god! That was a pun. "What's up with this ceiling?" 51 00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:39,850 What's wrong with me? 52 00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:42,970 I'd punch somebody in the mouth if they said that to me. 53 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,040 Ha. Wow. I wasn't expecting this. 54 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,080 This- this must be our box-smashing room. 55 00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:54,010 I mean, what? We have a bottomless pit, and the sides are all plate metal 56 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,230 that look strong enough to withstand a missile blast. 57 00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,550 This room must have cost a couple hundred thousand to build. 58 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:04,740 Eat your heart out, taxpayers! This is where your money goes 59 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,820 I mean, we get most of our money from the Department of Defense, 60 00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:09,890 and this is what we're spending it on! 61 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:12,920 And here I thought my division was wasting money. 62 00:03:12,950 --> 00:03:15,930 We were doing a hell of a lot more than smashing boxes! 63 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,020 This whole company's just retarded. 64 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,690 *groan* There's no door up here! 65 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,220 Is there really no way around this? 66 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,960 What do the workers normally do? 67 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,530 Just ride the crates down like it's a ski lift? 68 00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,500 Well… 69 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:36,570 Okay, extreme hopscotch! Let's do this. 70 00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:39,440 No room for error here. 71 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,670 It kind of reminds me of that cooking show I saw filmed in the Philippines 72 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:47,140 where two chefs would compete against each other to make the best dish, 73 00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:51,330 and at the end, they would cut the loser's head off with a sword. 74 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:52,990 I think the show got cancelled. 75 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,640 Well, now I have an answer if anyone ever asks me 76 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,670 what the dumbest thing I ever did was. 77 00:03:58,890 --> 00:03:59,620 I can say- OH! 78 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:02,970 There was this one time I was jumping across these crates 79 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,650 suspended above a bottomless pit, 80 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,830 even though I didn't really know where I was going. 81 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,530 Or- or- or there was the time I crawled into a drainage pipe, 82 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,470 opened up the floodgate and almost drowned. 83 00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,130 I shouldn't even be alive, really. 84 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,370 Oh, made it. 85 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:19,750 So where do these things go that we need so many crates? 86 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,660 This doesn't go anywhere. That's a wall. 87 00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:28,740 That means we're just loading up crates so we can drop them over that pit. 88 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,410 That means there is NO DAMN POINT to this whole room! 89 00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,790 This whole place is such a wash. 90 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,220 Good ol' New Mexico! We're really making a name for this state. 91 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:42,030 First they invented the atomic bomb at Los Alamos, 92 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:45,650 now we've invented mean-ass aliens that teleport out of nowhere. 93 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,470 I'm not sure which is worse! 94 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:49,530 You know, when they invented the atomic bomb, 95 00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:52,570 they were afraid that it was gonna catch the atmosphere on fire 96 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,380 and burn up the whole earth, but they did it anyway. 97 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,910 That took balls. Not us, though! 98 00:04:58,140 --> 00:04:59,560 The only people taking the risk 99 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,200 were the ones who didn't understand them in the first place. 100 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,060 We're not brave, we're just stupid. 101 00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:07,960 Huh, well, I'm on the other side. 102 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,940 So that's what? Three for three? 103 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:13,420 Man, we picked the WRONG contractor to build these catwalks. 104 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:18,820 "El Sleazo's Discount Construction: Bribing building inspectors for over 40 years." 105 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,620 YES! Time to get the hell out of here! 106 00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:28,640 I hate elevator music.