Subtitles by Janet Brotherton Edited by Ross Scott
Hmm… I'd better reload. Never know when I'll be making new friends around here.
Huh. We've got so many dead bodies we're hanging them from the ceiling now.
*scientist death* And the ceiling eats them. Guess that works.
Wha-ho! That shock took out the face hugger!
And another one! Will this guy make it?
Nooooo! You are all popcorn.
That REALLY does have to be more than coincidence. I mean- DAH
Okay! Guess I'm not going that way!
Where am I going? The blood trail's gone up into the ceiling.
Ah! Administrative… yeah, no exit! No one leaves here.
What's that say? "Work harder, not smarter."
Yeah, that's us, alright... We stay the course with stupid.
Hey, there's somebody in there!
Hey quit screwing around and open up the door!
Come on! The door's locked assholes!
DAMN it!
You know, it's hard to believe we won the Cold War with initiative like that.
That's not the spirit that kept Soviet paratroopers off my lawn!
If somebody knocks on the door, you don't run away and go play with aliens.
Ah! An air vent. "Die Hard" has shown me the way once again.
NOW we're making progress…. I think.
What? BUGS!
This is MY air vent.
Hey, this is a dead end… AND SO ARE YOU!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
These bugs think they own the place. Well there's gonna be some restructuring around here.
Oop... there's another one.
That's right, keep running you little bastard. I see you... thinking you're gonna escape.
Well you're WRONG! Just like everyone else here!
RAHHH!
Man, today is so counter-intuitive to everything I did in grad school.
I would shout and break stuff there too, but that never got anything DONE.
So what's the deal with….
Ahhhhh... grody!
I hate this place. And what's that noise?
UGH! That makes me not even want to loot the machine now.
I was gonna grab some Doritos or something.
Oh... but look who it is!
What- don't interrupt me.
…the man who can't open the door!
-Scientist: Gordon! -Yes?
-Scientist: If I had known it was you, I'd have let you in. -Of course.
-Scientist: Everyone's heading for the surface, but I think they're crazy not to stay put.
-Scientist: Someone is bound to come by and rescue us.
Well I believe you, but does my GUN believe you?
Oh, alright. I'll let you live, but you're on the preliminary list!
What's this? High voltage?
Cool! Maybe I can fry those things hanging from the ceiling.
Oh, that turned it OFF... oh well.
I wonder if that guy's right about- don't puke on me-
...that guy's right about waiting here.
I would feel STUPID if there's a rescue team waiting in the lobby.
Alright, looks like that cut the power.
Now I can pass safely, proving once again that I am superior to aliens. And everyone.
*whistles*
*Door locked*
WHAT? I walked through that obstacle course FOR THIS?!
I HATE THIS BUILDING! I WANNA SMASH THE WHOLE THING DOWN!
Oh. Well that works.
Maybe I should become a burglar after this.
I'm getting the hang of breaking and entering, and I like stealing stuff.
Wow, glad that's not MY lab.
Scheduled chaos theory?
That makes as much sense as grounded aviation, or deep-sea astronomy.
*door locked*
*sigh* Of course. Every door is locked. Always.
Why IS every door locked?
This is a workday! It's not like I'm breaking out on Sunday evening.
Ah! Thought I didn't see you, huh? I'm watching. I'm always watching.
Well, the sign was right, this looks like storage. Another dead end.
This must be the prep room for the crate-smashing room.
"Crate City: for all you're creative crate needs."
NYAH!
You know, I'm torn between wanting to kill every single bug in this building
or just leveling it with explosives. I need a bomb.
Nah, that's probably a janitor closet.
This window kinda reminds me of when I came home from school
and there was some dead guy stuck in the smashed window of my apartment.
He'd been trying to break into the place, but instead gutted himself on the insulated glass.
That was NOT FUN trying to explain that to the police.
Oh, what's that? Another air vent!
These people locking doors thing they're smart, but they're not.
Guess I'd better clear out all this glass, first.
I'm kinda like glass, in a way. I'll tear people to shreds when I can't do my job.
Alright so… this is not very comfortable.
UUUUGGGH!! AHHHH!
O-okay! That water's got some electricity running through it!
I didn't really plan for that, but… that's okay. That's okay.
I can do this. I just need a breather for a second.
Yeah, I can do this. Hell, I've gotten hit with tasers that do more than that.
Women are too damn jumpy with those things.
I swear, half the dates I go on, it's just ZAP!
That's not as bad as pepper spray, though. God, I hate pepper spray!
UGGGGGHHH!
ah...
Oh you son of a bitch!
*RINGING*
AHHHH! MY EARS!
That was not smart. Firing a gun inside an air vent.
I hope I'm not DEAF! I need a silencer.
Man that whole electrical shock thing reminds me of that guy I used to know…
What was his name? Jesse!
He was crazy! He would… ugh.
He would lie on his bed, then drop a cattle prod on his leg
with the voltage set so high he would just be paralyzed there for an hour or two.
He did that all the time for fun.
Personally I can think of better ways to spend an evening- AH SHIT!
Yep. Whoever designed this building did not count on me.
Oh, copycats!
Forgot to copy that move, HUH?
Actually, I'd better shut up. It would be just my luck for these aliens to figure out how to use guns.
Anymore takers? No?
Alright, let's….. *Door locked*
…cry.
This locked door thing is getting REAL old.
*SIGH*
What now?
Well, back to crawling in the ceiling like a voyeur.
*Australian accent* Ah! The hunter spots his prey!
He takes aim….
CRIKEY! And that's about as close as it gets.
Now, what are aliens doing up here anyway?
I guess they must have teleported in, but how do they know where to go?
Oh, maybe they don't! Maybe they're teleporting into the walls.
That could be why the building's falling apart!
We're turning into the Swiss cheese of the damned!
Wait, what if one teleported inside ME?
Oh geez, I don't think I could take that.
Whoa, what happened here-
AH! GOD! Jesus shit...
WHAT WAS THAT?! WHO'S FIRING?!
DID I GET HIT? I don't see any blood. If I could just see…
FUCK!
It's like... It's like a turret gun or something.
You okay? Ahh, I don't care.
Jesus Christ!
Oh, some clips, I'll take that!
YES! An exit!
Oh my god... this is where I just came from!
Maybe that's why all the doors are locked,
to keep people like me from wandering into a firing range.
Hey wanna be my human shield?
-Scientist: SHUT UP!
It's just an idea.
Uhmm… no, that's just a dead end.
Maybe I can force him out there if I waved my gun at him.
*Scientist groans*
Shit. Did I say that out loud?
Yep! It's still there.
Okay.
Well, this is about as good a time to take a break as any.