1 00:00:05,244 --> 00:00:09,472 Subtitles by Janet Brotherton Edited by Ross Scott 2 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:15,030 Hmm… I'd better reload. Never know when I'll be making new friends around here. 3 00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:20,450 Huh. We've got so many dead bodies we're hanging them from the ceiling now. 4 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:24,210 *scientist death* And the ceiling eats them. Guess that works. 5 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,410 Wha-ho! That shock took out the face hugger! 6 00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:30,250 And another one! Will this guy make it? 7 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,840 Nooooo! You are all popcorn. 8 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:38,440 That REALLY does have to be more than coincidence. I mean- DAH 9 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,280 Okay! Guess I'm not going that way! 10 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:45,470 Where am I going? The blood trail's gone up into the ceiling. 11 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:51,310 Ah! Administrative… yeah, no exit! No one leaves here. 12 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,480 What's that say? "Work harder, not smarter." 13 00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:59,250 Yeah, that's us, alright... We stay the course with stupid. 14 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:00,810 Hey, there's somebody in there! 15 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,340 Hey quit screwing around and open up the door! 16 00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:07,700 Come on! The door's locked assholes! 17 00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:08,990 DAMN it! 18 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,080 You know, it's hard to believe we won the Cold War with initiative like that. 19 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:17,320 That's not the spirit that kept Soviet paratroopers off my lawn! 20 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:21,480 If somebody knocks on the door, you don't run away and go play with aliens. 21 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:26,790 Ah! An air vent. "Die Hard" has shown me the way once again. 22 00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:31,710 NOW we're making progress…. I think. 23 00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:33,810 What? BUGS! 24 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,070 This is MY air vent. 25 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:41,390 Hey, this is a dead end… AND SO ARE YOU! 26 00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:46,000 DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! 27 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:51,160 These bugs think they own the place. Well there's gonna be some restructuring around here. 28 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,020 Oop... there's another one. 29 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:58,340 That's right, keep running you little bastard. I see you... thinking you're gonna escape. 30 00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:01,500 Well you're WRONG! Just like everyone else here! 31 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,010 RAHHH! 32 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:06,970 Man, today is so counter-intuitive to everything I did in grad school. 33 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,430 I would shout and break stuff there too, but that never got anything DONE. 34 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,100 So what's the deal with…. 35 00:02:12,390 --> 00:02:15,280 Ahhhhh... grody! 36 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,030 I hate this place. And what's that noise? 37 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:21,860 UGH! That makes me not even want to loot the machine now. 38 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,340 I was gonna grab some Doritos or something. 39 00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:28,290 Oh... but look who it is! 40 00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:31,180 What- don't interrupt me. 41 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,020 …the man who can't open the door! 42 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:35,130 -Scientist: Gordon! -Yes? 43 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:37,740 -Scientist: If I had known it was you, I'd have let you in. -Of course. 44 00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:41,430 -Scientist: Everyone's heading for the surface, but I think they're crazy not to stay put. 45 00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:43,980 -Scientist: Someone is bound to come by and rescue us. 46 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,280 Well I believe you, but does my GUN believe you? 47 00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:51,840 Oh, alright. I'll let you live, but you're on the preliminary list! 48 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,890 What's this? High voltage? 49 00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:58,000 Cool! Maybe I can fry those things hanging from the ceiling. 50 00:02:58,430 --> 00:03:01,060 Oh, that turned it OFF... oh well. 51 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,060 I wonder if that guy's right about- don't puke on me- 52 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:05,780 ...that guy's right about waiting here. 53 00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:10,240 I would feel STUPID if there's a rescue team waiting in the lobby. 54 00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,630 Alright, looks like that cut the power. 55 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:19,260 Now I can pass safely, proving once again that I am superior to aliens. And everyone. 56 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:21,540 *whistles* 57 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:22,300 *Door locked* 58 00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:25,450 WHAT? I walked through that obstacle course FOR THIS?! 59 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,980 I HATE THIS BUILDING! I WANNA SMASH THE WHOLE THING DOWN! 60 00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:32,090 Oh. Well that works. 61 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,080 Maybe I should become a burglar after this. 62 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,530 I'm getting the hang of breaking and entering, and I like stealing stuff. 63 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:39,270 Wow, glad that's not MY lab. 64 00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,110 Scheduled chaos theory? 65 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:46,310 That makes as much sense as grounded aviation, or deep-sea astronomy. 66 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:47,150 *door locked* 67 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:52,280 *sigh* Of course. Every door is locked. Always. 68 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,700 Why IS every door locked? 69 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:58,300 This is a workday! It's not like I'm breaking out on Sunday evening. 70 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:04,430 Ah! Thought I didn't see you, huh? I'm watching. I'm always watching. 71 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,310 Well, the sign was right, this looks like storage. Another dead end. 72 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,010 This must be the prep room for the crate-smashing room. 73 00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:15,840 "Crate City: for all you're creative crate needs." 74 00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:16,570 NYAH! 75 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:19,860 You know, I'm torn between wanting to kill every single bug in this building 76 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:23,410 or just leveling it with explosives. I need a bomb. 77 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,680 Nah, that's probably a janitor closet. 78 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:29,380 This window kinda reminds me of when I came home from school 79 00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:32,310 and there was some dead guy stuck in the smashed window of my apartment. 80 00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:36,710 He'd been trying to break into the place, but instead gutted himself on the insulated glass. 81 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,220 That was NOT FUN trying to explain that to the police. 82 00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:43,610 Oh, what's that? Another air vent! 83 00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:46,990 These people locking doors thing they're smart, but they're not. 84 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,460 Guess I'd better clear out all this glass, first. 85 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:54,600 I'm kinda like glass, in a way. I'll tear people to shreds when I can't do my job. 86 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:58,810 Alright so… this is not very comfortable. 87 00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,360 UUUUGGGH!! AHHHH! 88 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,880 O-okay! That water's got some electricity running through it! 89 00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:08,370 I didn't really plan for that, but… that's okay. That's okay. 90 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,580 I can do this. I just need a breather for a second. 91 00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:16,050 Yeah, I can do this. Hell, I've gotten hit with tasers that do more than that. 92 00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:18,730 Women are too damn jumpy with those things. 93 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,730 I swear, half the dates I go on, it's just ZAP! 94 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:25,330 That's not as bad as pepper spray, though. God, I hate pepper spray! 95 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:27,740 UGGGGGHHH! 96 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:28,700 ah... 97 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,920 Oh you son of a bitch! 98 00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:34,330 *RINGING* 99 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,600 AHHHH! MY EARS! 100 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:41,640 That was not smart. Firing a gun inside an air vent. 101 00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:45,370 I hope I'm not DEAF! I need a silencer. 102 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,520 Man that whole electrical shock thing reminds me of that guy I used to know… 103 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,800 What was his name? Jesse! 104 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,030 He was crazy! He would… ugh. 105 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,010 He would lie on his bed, then drop a cattle prod on his leg 106 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:01,510 with the voltage set so high he would just be paralyzed there for an hour or two. 107 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,650 He did that all the time for fun. 108 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,770 Personally I can think of better ways to spend an evening- AH SHIT! 109 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,030 Yep. Whoever designed this building did not count on me. 110 00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:16,330 Oh, copycats! 111 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,440 Forgot to copy that move, HUH? 112 00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:25,450 Actually, I'd better shut up. It would be just my luck for these aliens to figure out how to use guns. 113 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,560 Anymore takers? No? 114 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,490 Alright, let's….. *Door locked* 115 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:30,870 …cry. 116 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,900 This locked door thing is getting REAL old. 117 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,480 *SIGH* 118 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,840 What now? 119 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,250 Well, back to crawling in the ceiling like a voyeur. 120 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,970 *Australian accent* Ah! The hunter spots his prey! 121 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,030 He takes aim…. 122 00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:55,220 CRIKEY! And that's about as close as it gets. 123 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,200 Now, what are aliens doing up here anyway? 124 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:02,510 I guess they must have teleported in, but how do they know where to go? 125 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,960 Oh, maybe they don't! Maybe they're teleporting into the walls. 126 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:08,220 That could be why the building's falling apart! 127 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,620 We're turning into the Swiss cheese of the damned! 128 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:16,130 Wait, what if one teleported inside ME? 129 00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,960 Oh geez, I don't think I could take that. 130 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,191 Whoa, what happened here- 131 00:07:22,435 --> 00:07:24,093 AH! GOD! Jesus shit... 132 00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:26,620 WHAT WAS THAT?! WHO'S FIRING?! 133 00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:30,720 DID I GET HIT? I don't see any blood. If I could just see… 134 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,620 FUCK! 135 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,430 It's like... It's like a turret gun or something. 136 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,010 You okay? Ahh, I don't care. 137 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,210 Jesus Christ! 138 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,400 Oh, some clips, I'll take that! 139 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,760 YES! An exit! 140 00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:48,840 Oh my god... this is where I just came from! 141 00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:50,730 Maybe that's why all the doors are locked, 142 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,640 to keep people like me from wandering into a firing range. 143 00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,290 Hey wanna be my human shield? 144 00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,000 -Scientist: SHUT UP! 145 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,300 It's just an idea. 146 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,400 Uhmm… no, that's just a dead end. 147 00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:04,230 Maybe I can force him out there if I waved my gun at him. 148 00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:04,980 *Scientist groans* 149 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,430 Shit. Did I say that out loud? 150 00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:08,420 Yep! It's still there. 151 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:10,370 Okay. 152 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,120 Well, this is about as good a time to take a break as any.