1 00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:14,800 Wait, this isn't gonna work. If a rescue team comes, that gun's gonna turn them into peppered steak. 2 00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:15,830 -*Scientist sneezes* 3 00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:16,710 Good idea. 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,580 Yep. You're right. 5 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,790 There's a firing delay when it's not beeping. 6 00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:24,220 AND THERE'S ANOTHER BUG! 7 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,330 Damn! These things are faster than the centipedes at my house. 8 00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:32,580 Ah, screw it. I'll just wait until the beeping stops and make a dash for it. 9 00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:38,300 It's just as well, I wasn't looking forward to staying here and cannibalizing that guy for food. 10 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,690 Oh, back for more, huh? 11 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,590 -Scientist: Don't you think we should wait here for awhile? 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,580 Nah, you're on your own, chump. 13 00:00:45,937 --> 00:00:47,118 Beeow! 14 00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:52,070 Sweet! Man, that guy back there is just SCREWED. 15 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,030 Well, once again, not my problem. 16 00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:54,830 Oh what the- 17 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,400 OK CHILDREN, CLASS IS IN SESSION! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT! 18 00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:02,020 I SAID EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT! 19 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:05,910 DAMNIT BILLY, THAT MEANS YOU TOO! TAKE YOUR SEAT! 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,340 Ok, now today's lesson is on- 21 00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:10,260 …wait, what am I doing? I don't know. 22 00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:14,810 You know, facial lacerations aside, that WAS pretty pimp of me. 23 00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:19,440 I need a sword... and a helmet… and a horse. Yeah. 24 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,030 Hey, can I have your gun? 25 00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:25,430 I thought it'd be cool to shoot people with two pistols like I'm in a John Woo movie or something. 26 00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:30,550 Uhh… fine, don't say anything, you freak! 27 00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:32,920 Oh, I guess he was using it. 28 00:01:37,993 --> 00:01:38,425 What? 29 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:42,920 Ah, DAMNIT! I'm getting sick of these face huggers trying to French me! 30 00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:46,060 It's not like I'm THAT hard-up! Christ! 31 00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:51,200 Oh, what's this? Oh, doing the vent thing, huh? Yeah, I- 32 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,140 *Scientists screaming* *Scientists die* 33 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:58,800 Ugh! You dumbasses! You can't go through the fan blades! 34 00:01:59,010 --> 00:02:01,500 Some people just have to learn things the hard way. 35 00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:05,250 I mean, it only took me one time to learn not to stick your head in a fan. 36 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:06,440 Oh, no. 37 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:10,230 DAH! Quit zapping me! Let's see how you like it! 38 00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:12,150 Damnit! Have to reload! 39 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,690 Ok, pumpkin head! 40 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:17,600 GOD, these aliens SUCK! 41 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:21,130 I'm already afraid of Muppets, I don't need this on top of that! 42 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,860 Come out! *whistles* 43 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:25,370 They're not coming. 44 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,230 You guys are even worse than the face huggers, you know that? 45 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,580 I need a name for you. I'm just gonna call you zappers until I can think of something better. 46 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,180 Where the hell are they? 47 00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:36,420 *Alien growl* Oh, I can hear them. 48 00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:40,120 I better check my flank. That's how they got that dude in Jurassic Park. 49 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:44,710 Oh wait, those were raptors. Well, I'd shoot them too. 50 00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:46,120 Bastard! 51 00:02:46,385 --> 00:02:47,226 *stuttering* 52 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:52,870 THAT'S SO FRIGGIN' ANNOYING! It's not like the electricity kills me, it just HURTS! 53 00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:59,100 I'm not sure what I'm more upset about: that they're shocking me, or that I can't shoot electricity from MY hands. 54 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:01,010 I'm going backwards again, aren't I? 55 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,310 BOOM! 56 00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:05,290 Oh, I see you too! 57 00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:11,420 Oh man! I shoot one long distance through a window and another one that's waiting to jump me! 58 00:03:11,450 --> 00:03:16,060 That is JAMES BOND intuition! Damn, I'm awesome! 59 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:24,260 *hums James Bond theme* 60 00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:27,650 How did that thing know I was here? How many of you fuckers are there? 61 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:33,500 Do you want me to individually engrave your names on each of my bullets? Is my gun not personal enough for you? 62 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,800 I'll kill every last one of you bastards! All I need are bullets. 63 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,500 We have a lot of bullets here! 64 00:03:40,961 --> 00:03:43,868 EARTH IS A MINERAL-RICH PLANET! 65 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:45,584 I BET YOURS SUCKS! 66 00:03:45,585 --> 00:03:48,253 It's probably a swamp planet with no metal! 67 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,580 And if it's not, you belong in a swamp anyway! 68 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:55,160 You should be out killing vacationing college students, not scientists trying to get work do- 69 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:57,170 *choking* 70 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,250 WHAT THE FUCK! NOW I'M COVERED IN BLOOD! My hair! 71 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,410 This is gonna jam my gun! 72 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,390 And what about YOU?! Enjoying the show?! 73 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:12,520 Scientist- I just overheard a secure access transmission. Soldiers have arrived and they're coming to rescue us. 74 00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:15,810 Scientis: Of course, I have my doubts that we'll live long enough to greet them. 75 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,840 Yeah, thanks for the warning, asshole! 76 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:22,010 I really appreciate how you stood there staring at me, not doing a goddamn thing! 77 00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,760 You're like a cat watching a mouse DIE! 78 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,820 I'm getting out of here, there's too many PSYCHOS in this place 79 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,170 *beeping* What's that noise? 80 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:34,070 AHHH! MY EAR! I GOT SHOT IN THE EAR! 81 00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,960 WHY IS THE BUILDING TRYING TO KILL ME? 82 00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:40,350 I'M AN EMPLOYEE! YOU DON'T SHOOT YOUR EMPLOYEES! 83 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,900 YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYED! 84 00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:48,640 Damnit! You're all fired! 85 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:54,740 NO! Fuck this! I'm gonna wait for that thing to power down. 86 00:04:55,280 --> 00:05:02,120 *whistles with the turret* 87 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,440 I can't believe we have automatic turret guns. 88 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:10,470 You shouldn't KILL your workers. I thought they taught that in, like, Business 101. 89 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:13,470 Okay, *muttering* 90 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,610 I just don't get a break. 91 00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:20,220 Kneel before me... ha ha ha ha ha ha. 92 00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:24,120 Ha, no smoking around the turret gun. Bad for your health. 93 00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:25,540 Oh, OH! 94 00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:29,870 Yeah, keep on gargling, I'm reloading. 95 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:33,210 And that's why you should stay in school. 96 00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:36,580 Man, I am not happy at all about getting my ear shot. 97 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:40,560 I guess it's a free piercing, but I don't have a mirror. I don't wanna look like I'm gay. 98 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:44,750 Huh, I guess gay is when you get both ears pierced. Either that or you're a sailor. 99 00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:45,840 -Security Guard: You thinking what I'm thinking? 100 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,310 Who the hell are you talking to? Friggin' lunatic. 101 00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:54,320 -Security Guard: Hey, what the hell are you doing down here? Get topside! I hear troops are coming in to save us. 102 00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:57,580 Well, they're not coming fast enough! I got SHOT, you know. 103 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,720 Ah, first aid! Yeah, I need some gauze. 104 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,110 -Security Guard: I'll bet that stings a bit. 105 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:06,870 Yeah, no SHIT, Skippy. I've got more blood on me than an axe murderer. 106 00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:10,080 I'd be arrested if I were to approach a child looking like this! 107 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,410 I wonder if there's any more clips in here? I'm on my last one. 108 00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:20,560 I really wasn't expecting to use up all my ammo, but what can I say? This gun keeps solving my problems for me. 109 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:26,940 OH! AN EXIT SIGN! It's about bloody time. 110 00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:29,260 *Door locked* Okay, remain calm. 111 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:30,990 Jesus! 112 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,830 Ok, we'll take this to the next level. 113 00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:40,950 What the fuck! We installed bullet-proof glass in our exit doors? That stuff's not cheap! 114 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,240 How retarded are we? I don't know anymore! 115 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,990 Ugh! What'd they think was gonna happen? 116 00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:51,670 The turret guns were gonna sprout a pair of legs and get up and leave? 117 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,820 I'm just a rat in a maze… with no cheese. 118 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,190 And you're not helping! 119 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:05,130 I guess I am getting a gun out of the whole deal... that's registered in someone else's name! 120 00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:10,310 That means once all this blows over, I'll be able to kill anyone and get away with it if I want to. 121 00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:12,250 Hey, I think that's an exit! 122 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,260 Huh? 123 00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:16,200 Oh my god THIS WAS NOT APPROVED BY THE COMMITTEE! 124 00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:21,560 I'M NOT TAKING ANY QUESTIONS! NO COMMENT! NO COMMENT! NO COMMENT! 125 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:27,800 Well, I can understand how people can't get enough of me, but, it's for their own good really. 126 00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:31,420 Yay! Something I can actually break! 127 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:37,150 God my face must look like a cutting board right now. 128 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:42,490 I wonder if it'll scar. That would look badass if I had one of those face scars across the eye. 129 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:47,980 And my ear! Who else has pierced ears? Artists, punk rockers, pirates. 130 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:51,920 Huh, pirates have both ears pierced, but then they're sailors. 131 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,710 Hey is that coffee? Sweet, are there any donuts? 132 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,310 Whoa! That's a big no. This isn't gonna work. 133 00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:03,560 What the- they're deaf! They can't hear me! 134 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:08,330 How the hell did they find me earlier? They don't have eyes. We may never know. 135 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,970 Science will thank me some day. 136 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,510 Alright enough of this, I'm getting some coffee. 137 00:08:15,270 --> 00:08:16,140 Now which button? 138 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,880 *presses button* *coffee dispensing* 139 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,290 *sips* Ahh, yeah, that's the stuff.