Srake pops into existence in the KOTH server, "Hey guys! I'm back!" Srake's smile fades as he looks upon the desolate war torn landscape. His wrist Geiger counter (because watches aren't cool) detects low level background radiation from a nuclear blast of cataclysmic proportions. Srake sets off for the only visible landmark left, The Hill. As he walks he slowly remembers all the fun he had with his friends, before The Hill came. It tore them apart and consumed their humanity turning them into greed driven killing machines. As he reaches the top he lets out a long sigh and sits down. "The Hill is mine." he says softly. "But at what cost?"

Well, since nobody has posted a retaliation for a week, I guess that makes Srake the winner.
*Hill; Planet; hell, the universe, reset*

The Great and Powerful Trixie spies an unoccupied hill! Hahaha! The hill is MINE! All mine! And none shall dare take it from the Great and Powerful Trixie!

And if one should take it upon themselves to try...oh ho ho, they will not like what Trixie will do to them. Not at all.

Spoiler: show

What's this? Trixi's on a new Hill? Must take! *While going up the Hill, Rainbow Dash pulls out a knife and starts humming a very catchy song, as he gets closer to the top he starts singing* "It's true, some days are dark and lonely. And maybe you feel sad. But Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad. There's one thing that makes me happy. And makes my whole life worthwhile. And that's when I talk to my friends and get them to smile. *At this point Rainbow Dash reached the top of the Hill, and started to slash and stab Trixi while still singing* "I really am so happy. Your smile fills me with glee. *At this R.D. slashed at Trixi's mouth to make it look like he was smiling*. "I give a smile, I get a smile. And that's so special to me." At this, R.D. slashed Trixi once more, then threw him off the Hill." At this R.D. finishes singing the song.

I pull up in an old as shit car and turn on the turbo bass. This + me playing bass heavy music at full volume like a dick results in tremors so strong that Rainbow Dash's ear drums rupture and he/she dies from internal bleeding in the lungs. I throw his/her body off the hill, kick off the blood-filled puddle on the top, and plant a "Bonerville" flag in the shape of a penis in the hill.

Razor stares dumbfounded at Bravetriforcer.
"Activate the bacon-powered doom laser," he speaks calmly into a walkie-talkie.
Bravetriforcer is obliterated. THe hill is mine.

I walk up to the top of the hill
"Hey, Razor."
I sit down and act as if the hill is mine.

Epsilon uses Username's distraction of Razor to dive out of a helicopter, blow them/whatever is disguised as them to pieces with an awfully convenient heatseeker, and use their entrails (which were blown sky high by the action movie-esque force of the rocket) as a parachute.

Username rides up the hill on Fluttershy, to ensure that nobody in their right mind would attack.
The hill belongs to Username.

[Respawn in 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] Psychotic Ninja respawns on top of the Hill, wielding a sword, he takes one quick swing at Username's head, and decapitates him. Fluttershy flies away out of fear, crying she can be heard yelling "I saw nothing!" "The Hill is mine once more!" exclaimed Psychotic Ninja, in an angry voice, sword still out, just in case someone else tries to take over.

I look at psychotic ninja looking off into the distance as my headless body rolls down the hill.
I say "WHAT'S UP" to psychotic ninja, and he drops his sword and runs away crying like a little girl.
The hill belongs to username's head.

Since a mere head cannot do anything...

*sledgehammer*

The hill is mine. That was easy.

Username pushes Chuck off the hill and claims it.
Simple as that.

Psychotic Ninja kills Username, and to make sure he stays dead, he makes sure there's no part of Username left to find. The Hill is Psychotic Ninja's again.

Username throws a CoD game at psychotic ninja.
He runs away from the hideousness.
The hill is now Username's

Username spread the plague to a number of other people, including Martin.
The hill belongs to nobody.

And then Left 4 Dead happened.

And then username claimed the hill, dug a hole, and turned it into his defense against zombies.
It looks like an ordinary hill, but the infected are too stupid to notice the golden doorknob right on the side of the hill.

hoip