I had a weird dream a few days ago where my cat attacked me for spraying him with a water bottle because he was trying to drink Lysol, then I went to bed and he came into my bedroom, took my phone and took pictures of me while screaming "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" in my dad's voice. I got a good look at my phone in the dream, and there was a portfolio labeled "Embarrassing Photos to Send to Your Family" in the menu.

All my dreams of late have been about getting back home, sleeping there, and eating good food there.

on vacation in france w/ family
nazi's show up
we hide in a small nondescript trailer near the woods
i escape as the nazis are closing in
i get to the woods
i cross over into germany for some reason secretly
i jump over rivers and streams and run through forest paths near the banks of a river, where a swimming area has been set up
i fake my own death and swim down the river, losing my shoes and my hat in the process
I see some of my friends and acquaintances swimming there, and talk to them. For some reason this girl I used to have a crush on keeps swimming in front of me with her now ex-boyfriend. I talk a little with them and swim onward.
all these restauraunts are advertised on the sides of the river, and an old lady tries to get me to eat poisoned food
i realize its a trap, and keep swimming
the banks are too high to leave the river, and the current is too powerful to swim back
i'm lead into a building with many food displays, starting with meals and then going to desert foods
i swim underwater, seeing all these pipes that lead inside each display, but i understand that it's a trap and swim through
i find an escape pipe, which leads me out of the front of the building
i'm in germany
i leg it to the nearest car and drive off, and then everything's like a cel-shaded version of GTA. I find some mutants with wacky masks on, like batman masks, gator masks, ETC. Needless to say, I kill them and take their masks.

WTF SUBCONSCIOUS

:melolwut:

I have a dream the the world is taken over by the smoze, I just hope it stays a dream

All hail Lord Smooze!

Anyway, last nights dream was, at the very least, NSFW. Let's say there were three blondes and nobody was wearing clothes...

...God Damn I love my brain. Best dream EVER!

I had a dream about old black forrest. Scary stuff that weren't scarry and a slanderman. Very enjoyable to hug with.
I was like: What the hell? After waking up

Welp, here goes what's quite possibly the most hilariously nonsensical dream I've ever had:

1. I dreamed that I was in North Korea being pursued by its army for no apparent reason.

2. I ran from North Korea to my house (because it's totally possible to run across about two continents, across the ocean, and to a house in Metro Atlanta).

3. I saw my 8th grade English teacher and talked with him for a bit.

4. I said something to the North Korean soldiers and they left.... on foot.

I had that dream again... I was Sherlock again! :O

Was Doctor Watson there too? O.o

Yeah, but it was so twisted I cant remember how he was looks like. I think like from the newest movie. Weird, because everything else looks like from the BBC series.

Jude Law did a good Watson though.

Well fuck my brain, because I just had a wet dream about my sister... FUCK YOU BRAIN!

That's... disturbing. Even more disturbing to share on a forum...

It's not like I chose to have it, and trust me I'm far more freaked out then you can think of

Just... too much information, man. Too much information.

Just be glad I didn't give you the details

I had a dream where I could use a rasengan. Turns out that in dreams, rasengans are more like super bubble gum bubbles. Also, I got one stuck on my face and it turned GOLD and I dated a cashier at "Generic Fastfood restaurant A" (no joke, that's what it was called. Either that or McWendy's).

The next dream I remember, I spontaneously lucid dreamt. As it turns out, I can only fly if I'm going backwards. After about 5 minutes of thinking I came up with an ingenious plan. What if I just made the world under me infinitely fall? And have it rotate to my liking? It worked! The only problem was I couldn't get down and flying was more like using a plane. Left is right, up is down; and controlling height was problematic.

I ain't proofreading that.

Ok, maybe a little.

Edit: Wow, even that was fun to read for me. And I'm the one who typed it!

I had a dream that there existed a disease known as "Brown Radio Tower Disease," and I was researching it on Wikipedia.

Sometimes I wonder what my subconscious self is smoking.

I very rarely remember my dreams and when I do, it seems to be often pointless. There are some vague ones I remember, but they are far and few and there's huge time gaps between the occurence of them

Early childhood, still probably the dream I remember most precisely.

Spoiler: show

It's late night, extremely dark outside. My mother is driving me home as I notice something odd - the only lighting there is, is coming from the headlights of the car, street lights are not lit. We reach home, enter the house and.. (this bit is a bit foggy) I enter the front room alone and take a peek at the sauna. I get a glimpse of something monstrous and it induces terror in me. I rush through the house, upstairs and hide under my bedsheets. The last thing I heard before the dream ended was slow, lumbering steps coming up the stairs.

Early childhood, faint memories

Spoiler: show

I'm at the top of a large valley, fresh and green grass everywhere I look. Next moment, I'm falling to the bottom and as I'm about to strike the ground I wake up. Odd detail to add - everything got hazy in the fall, as if fog had appeared.

Early school (1st-5th grade?)

Spoiler: show

I'm strolling along a street, when I look behind me and see a massive tidal wave at quite a long distance. I start running as fast as I can, yet I stumble. I get up and try to run, yet suddenly my legs decide to stop cooperating. I kept trying to run, but something kept forcing me down. Every time I stood up, I felt more exhausted and exhausted. I don't remember waking on the verge of impending doom, so I think I just woke up after I got to experience how it's like to be completely helpless.

Early school (1st-5th grade?)

Spoiler: show

A single frame remains of this dream. A refrigerator standing in the middle of a road crossing. That's it. Absolutely nothing else.

Early school, very sketchy on this one (4th-6th grade?)

Spoiler: show

Afternoon, I find myself in an apartment - where you'd expect to be a wall is emptiness (facing outside), the apartment is not lighted, hardly any light seems to be able to enter the apartment and it seems to be very minimalistic (table, couch). I must be somewhere at the middle of the whole apartment block (6th floor, perhaps) and I can see a couple of other apartment blocks. Next moment I hear omnious thuds, the ground rumbling and soon afterwards, find out who's causing it - a giant that's roughly about as big as the building [bushy brows, tall beard and a weathered face]. It seems to be seeking for something amongst the apartment, so my first thought was to stay the fuck out of the way and hide under the table. Following dream logic, the giant noticed me shortly after I hid and I felt like blood was freezing in my veins. He pulled the building from the ground, tilted it and last thing I remember was sliding over the floor, towards the giant.

2012 early summer, extremely sketchy so I'll just write what I remember about that day

Spoiler: show

Had watched a movie that was about resistance towards a corrupt, militaristic government trying to maintain power and strict control over everything before I went to sleep. Funnily enough, the morning I woke up from this dream I started playing Deus Ex which has similar themes to it as well.
Anyways, it seems like the citizens were held on tight leashes, anyone who would not follow orders would probably be shot. I befriended somebody and shortly, we devised an escape plan. The only thing I remember about the escape was us going through metro tunnels, him getting shot (not sure if there was a cliche "leave me behind and save yourself" moment) and me running for my life.

A week or two ago

Spoiler: show

My geography teacher (in her 50s) confessing her love to me. Yeah fuck you too, subconsciousness.

Also the more enjoyable dreams are quite rare. But if they happen, oh daaaamn~.