Useless Advice

[Scorpia]

first of which is get the emperor of japan to lie to you about his birthday, once he does go on his computer and type your question, the part where you'll need to learn Japanese to navigate his computer, i cannot help you with

 

i just got ninja'd how do i prevent it!

Edited September 25, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[Blightmare]

Simple: Counter-ninja training.

 

My stomach is growling. Advice?

[Scorpia]

hire mike Tyson to punch you in the stomach for a couple minutes, puke up your last meal, observe the vomit melting through the floor, eat the floor.

 

i forgot to capitalize Tyson's first name, how do i prevent him from killing me!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Capitalize all your "i's" so you don't get killed by grammer nazi's.

 

 

Quick! I'm about to go to jail! What do I do so I can prevent this catastrophe?

[Epsilon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQTXawaAKNA

 

I'm sniping and a Scout has meatshotted me and I'm close to death! HALP

[Pinkie Pie]

Quickly, spin around and shoot at the sky!!

 

Oh no, I just gave useless advice... Advice?

[ProHypster]

Close your eyes for 10 seconds.

 

I have this piece of chicken on my table and I need to remove it.... have fun lol

[Pinkie Pie]

Get a hammer, smash it through the table until you can't see it anymore.

 

I just killed a man! How do I hide the body?

[ProHypster]

Get a hammer, smash him through the ground untill you don't see him anymore.

 

I just copied your advice, now what to do?

[Epsilon]

Print even more copies of Pinkie Pie's advice (ucwatididthar?).

 

I have a song stuck in my head. wat do?

[alphabetagamma]

Take some Tylenol.

 

Help! My tie is evil and it's going to eat me!

[Pinkie Pie]

Quick! Complain about how ridiculous it is! Maybe it'll feel bad about itself and leave!

 

I seem to have lost my stapler, what do?

[Epsilon]

Disregard it. Who ever said you needed it?

 

I have a fan and a window unit on and it's excessively hot in here. HALP MEH!

[alphabetagamma]

Watch the first few episodes of MLP:FiM!

 

I just woke up on Europa, it's cold. What should I do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Roll around the ground (if there's snow, then bury yourself until you're completely covered in snow)!

 

 

Help! I'm on fire, what do I do?

[Blue]

Get on the floor and show the girls your moves. How else can you gonna beat the heat?

 

My arms are sticky because it's humid in this room. (Darn weather)

[Bravetriforcer]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOGMQ-ySqOY

 

Listen to this song. The heat your arms' muscles will generate from pumping your fists in the air will evaporate the water vapor around you.

 

My cat refuses to get out of my lap so I can get something to eat.

[Epsilon]

Eat your cat (sorry if you found this morbid).

 

Wilford Brimley gave me diabeetus.

[Bravetriforcer]

Who's that?

 

Epsilon is probably about to yell at me.

[Scorpia]

simple, insert rail rode spikes horizontally into your ear canals so that he'd be so weirded out by the sight of your spikes he wouldn't wanna yell at you anymore!

 

i got a metal-cut from an aluminum soda can..any advice to stop the bleeding?