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But I don't even have a sister!

 

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You wake up to discover a dead hamster in your bed.

He just kept talking and talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt it was really quite hypnotic...

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(Funny, I just google searched it, found this to be perfect, and discovered it's from the MFW site...)

 

Anyway:

 

You find out that your only son has been sent to jail for rape, murder, and drug abuse, and he is truly guilty of all charges.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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Patrick Star comes through your television and peddles his chocolate.

Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?

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The Hulk decides to use you as his punching bag hereupon.

Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?

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You open your door to discover that your house is being pulled into Jupiter via its colossal gravitational force of 23.6N/kg.

Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?

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Someone knocks on your bathroom stall door, while you're in the middle of shitting, to see if your stall is occupied.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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You find out the person you have a crush on is in a relationship.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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An 18-wheeler crashes through the front of your house (you're away at the time).

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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You see a total stranger wearing a 20% cooler shirt.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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Disney announced Pirates of the Caribbean 5 through 22 will be filmed back to back...

 

... to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back...

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Kaweebo/

 

"There are no good reasons. Only legal ones."

 

VALVE: "Sometimes bugs take more than eighteen years to fix."

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A random stranger kicks you in the balls.

Maximum fuck about to be given in 3... 2... 1...

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You come home one day to find your house/apartment is filled with insects.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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