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I think Freeman would weep at having to leave Grigori for the mines. "He's like the father I never had!"

 

 

Sorry, I can't see that in a badass like Freeman. I would actually think that Freeman would get irritated at Grigori for always quoting Bible verses for no apparent reason.

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I think Freeman would weep at having to leave Grigori for the mines. "He's like the father I never had!"

More like "He's like the batshit crazy uncle I never had... I mean, I had a batshit crazy uncle, but he wasn't cool batshit crazy. Uncle Jerry just liked to glue macaroni art to his chest and run down the street naked and stuff like that. Never anything cool, like shooting zombies and spouting bible verses like some combination of Jules Winnfield and William Overbeck

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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Alyx: A Combine Zombie? It... it's like a... Zombine, right?

 

Gordon: Heh heh... *quiet voice* I would have slapped her by now if she wasn't hot like she is...

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Gordon's reaction to the rebels being in his way will be priceless

Gordon Kick mod?

Gordon: Move. Move. Move now. Fucking move! AHHHHHHH *kicks rebel off ledge*

 

 

Alex: A Combine Zombie? It... it's like a... Zombine, right?

Gordon: I would slap you, but like my dad used to say "Son, never hit a woman... who knows how to use a gun."

or

Gordon: Did... did you really just... That's retarded! You're retarded. These things could seriously kill us. They are zombies with fucking body armor and you're making puns. Shit, tell them you call them "zombines" and maybe they'll kill themselves out of embarrassment.

 

Also I wanna see his reaction for the zombines with grenades

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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Mike and Dave from Civil Protection will cameo in one episode. Or multiple. One will probably just show Mike and Dave helping somebody(contrasting with the usual brutal behavior of the metrocops), the other will be during a fight with Gordon. Dave will want a piece of him, Mike will want to get the fuck out of there before Gordon can gun them down. Alternatively: Dave has improbable aiming skills. Gordon has an exposed head. Likely, Dave would fire a 9mm bullet to take off whats left of Gordon's ear (apparently that turret gun only took off the bottom half), whereas Gordon will freak out and put a couple of bullets in his chest. Dave will survive thanks to his body armor but will be incapacitated (like that's never happened before...) Mike will of course say something along the lines of "I told you it was a bad idea", while Gordon won't really bother to make sure he's dead.

Gordon: I don't really need to make confirmed kills. I'm not at that stage in my life yet.

Freeman will probably lampshade how Mike sounds a lot like Gordon.

 

I think the best place for this to happen would be in the sewer section near the beginning of the game, where you see two CP officers through a grate above you who dump those explosive barrels into the sewer a moment later. It could set them up as having one of their trademark conversations, with Freeman looking up, trying to shoot one of them and missing, and then hearing them talk about throwing the barrels down (possibly with that being a total accident, given the accident prone nature of those two). This way, since you don't have to kill them to proceed, they wouldn't directly affect each other, making it a very reasonable cameo.

I HAVE to blow everything up! It's the only way to prove I'm not CRAZY!

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I think the best place for this to happen would be in the sewer section near the beginning of the game, where you see two CP officers through a grate above you who dump those explosive barrels into the sewer a moment later. It could set them up as having one of their trademark conversations, with Freeman looking up, trying to shoot one of them and missing, and then hearing them talk about throwing the barrels down (possibly with that being a total accident, given the accident prone nature of those two). This way, since you don't have to kill them to proceed, they wouldn't directly affect each other, making it a very reasonable cameo.

 

That sounds perfect.

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Breen:Who are you? How did you get in here!?

Gordan:I'm the Freeman Bitch and I got in here by going to work fighting aliens then waking up with some dude in my face fighting through the idiotic cops and going through some thing to own you guys so suck it!

*after a few more teleports*

Breen:I could have sworn it was *turns around* .... Gordan Freeman

Gordan:That's what I just said you idiot!

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Breencast: [instinct Rant]

Freeman: Ok, this guy clearly does not understand how evolution works. It's not my field, but even fucking elementary school kids know more than that. Jesus Christ. And this guy ran Black Mesa. No wonder it blew up.

Breencast: Instinct, therefore, must be expunged. It must be fought tooth and nail, beginning with the basest of human urges: The urge to reproduce.

Freeman:Oh hell no. Now you're trying to tell me what to do with my junk? Fuck you, Dr. Breen. I am going to find you AND FUCKING KILL Y-

*City Scanner takes picture*

Freeman: Heh... That was a... a joke. Have a nice day, you creepy flying robot surveillance... thing.

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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Breen:When the singularity collapses, I will be far away from here. In another universe, as a matter of fact! *You*, on the other hand, will be destroyed in every way it is possible to be destroyed - and even in some which are essentially *im*possible!

Freeman:I would believe that if you had killed a single person i cared about but basing that you haven't done jack to me yet i think im fine so SHUT UP!!!!

 

*before that*

 

Breen:Let me read a letter I recently received. 'Dear Dr. Breen. Why has the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive cycle? Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen.' Thank you for writing, Concerned. Of course your question touches on one of the basic biological impulses, with all its associated hopes and fears for the future of the species. I also detect some unspoken questions. Do our benefactors really know what's best for us? What gives them the right to make this kind of decision for mankind? Will they ever deactivate the suppression field and let us breed again? Allow me to address the anxieties underlying your concerns, rather than try to answer every possible question you might have left unvoiced. First, let us consider the fact that for the first time ever, as a species, immortality is in our reach. This simple fact has far-reaching implications. It requires radical rethinking and revision of our genetic imperatives. It also requires planning and forethought that run in direct opposition to our neural pre-sets. I find it helpful at times like these to remind myself that our true enemy is Instinct. Instinct was our mother when we were an infant species. Instinct cuddled us and kept us safe in those hardscrabble years when we hardened our sticks and cooked our first meals above a meager fire and started at the shadows that leapt upon the cavern's walls. But inseparable from Instinct is its dark twin, Superstition. Instinct is inextricably bound to unreasoning impulses, and today we clearly see its true nature. Instinct has just become aware of its irrelevance, and like a cornered beast, it will not go down without a bloody fight. Instinct would inflict a fatal injury on our species. Instinct creates its own oppressors, and bids us rise up against them. Instinct tells us that the unknown is a threat, rather than an opportunity. Instinct slyly and covertly compels us away from change and progress. Instinct, therefore, must be expunged. It must be fought tooth and nail, beginning with the basest of human urges: The urge to reproduce. We should thank our benefactors for giving us respite from this overpowering force. They have thrown a switch and exorcised our demons in a single stroke. They have given us the strength we never could have summoned to overcome this compulsion. They have given us purpose. They have turned our eyes toward the stars. Let me assure you that the suppressing field will be shut off on the day that we have mastered ourselves... the day we can prove we no longer need it. And that day of transformation, I have it on good authority, is close at hand.

 

Freeman:*was just watching blankly* I don't even know what to say to that.

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Dr. Isaac Kleiner:[as Alyx tries to have him leave the lab] We can't leave without Lamarr. She's around here somewhere...

Alyx Vance: Come on, Dr. Kleiner. We can find you another pet headcrab.

Dr. Isaac Kleiner: No! There's only *one* Hedy!

Freeman:At least only one domesticated one that eats water melons

*later*

Alyx Vance: Dad - prepare for unforseen consequences.

Freeman:Thats still creepy after that weird guy said it to her! *shivers*

*earlier*

 

[Gordon and Alyx have just entered a Resistance base, a Hunter-Chopper hot on their tail]

Resistance Fighter: Seeing as you brought that chopper in on your tail, you wanna, maybe, help us take it down?

Alyx Vance: Oh, with pleasure!

Freeman:No we don't wanna take it down you bitch its A CHOPPER FOR GOD SAKE WHY WOULD WANT TO TAKE THAT DOWN FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

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*When a Stalker yells at him*

 

Gordon: Shut the hell up! You could dip SpongeBob in sulphuric acid and he would scream less than you!

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When Judith Mossman is giving him the lecture about combine teleporters:

 

"We think their portals are string-based, similar to our Calabi-Yau model, but they've failed to factor in the dark energy equations."

 

"Wait, string-based? Well no wonder they don't work! They're made for that string-theory crap! And you're doing the same thing?! Well, I guess now I know the real reason that teleporter fucked up! It was based on string theory and powered by bullshit!"

 

In Episode One, when he's about to go into the Citadel Reactor chamber to stabilize the core, Alyx says:

 

"Good thing you know what you're doing."

 

"Wait, what?! Lady, you know I'm a THEORETICAL physicist, right?! And I did my thesis on teleportation, not dark energy! I don't know anything about Dark Energy! No one does! You know why scientists call it Dark Energy? Because they don't know what the fuck it is! It's just a creepy-sounding name for something they don't get! What the hell do you think I'm going to do in there, huh?!"

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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I imagine that at some point, Freeman would have an epiphany.

 

"Wait a minute. Aliens, the government, and the environment itself is trying to kill me. I'm the only person who seems to be doing anything, as well as the person who knows the least about what's going on. And anytime I think I'm making any meaningful progress, it turns out that I've been running around in a gigantic circle. IT'S LIKE I'VE NEVER LEFT BLACK MESA! Except now I can't satiate myself with thoughts of escaping to the surface and running away to Austria! For all I know, Austria's been wiped off the fucking face of the earth! Oh god, what if this is Austria? Actually, I don't know where I am. It certainly doesn't look like New Mexico. Alien invasion or not, I doubt changes to the landscape would be this extreme."

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I could imagine something like this.

 

FREEMAN'S MIND 2 EPISODE 1!

 

"Oh God, where am I?! What the fuck is this?! Why am I on a train?!"

Breen: Welcome to City 17 (gives the speech)

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! 1984?! GEORGE ORWELL WAS RIGHT! BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING ALL OF US!"

(Encounter with first Metro-Cop)

"YOU COMMUNIST! YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT WE THE (gets hit) PEOPLE HAVE RIGHTS! THIS IS AMERICA....."

XD imagine something like that!

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Encounter with first headcrap shell:

*WHAM! (headcrabs climb out)

Freeman: (pause) The facehuggers can build aircraft now?!? How long was I gone!?!

*WHAM! (Another one lands nearby)

Freeman: Well, at least they suck at landing.

 

In the fight with the Hunter Chopper:

(Hunter Chopper begins spewing a ridiculous amount of mines all over the place)

Freeman: WHY ARE YOU USING THIS MUCH ORDINANCE! I'M JUST ONE GUY IN A LITTLE BOAT! WHY ARE YOU SHITTING WORLD WAR THREE AT ME?

(later in the fight)

Freeman: How am I supposed to compete with an attack copter that can LITERALLY PULL AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF LETHAL EXPLOSIVES OUT OF ITS ASS!?!?

 

Upon discovering the Gravity Gun:

Freeman: Man, I wish I had one of these things back before the accident at Black Mesa. If anyone ever took my spot in the parking lot again, I could punt their car out of the parking garage and into that ditch at the bottom. And there would be no collateral damage to my own car, so the police wouldn't be able to figure out that I was the one who did it again.

 

Ravenholm:

Freeman: Hey! Are those propane tanks? They are! Yes! My favorite childhood toys!

 

Lowlife:

Alyx: (imitating zombie) ...mmm...GRRR!

Freeman: AAHH! (Promptly turns around and blows Alyx's head off)...shit...um...sorry.

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I don't think that Gordon can kill Alyx (though she can be killed). Probably would go something like this:

 

Alyx: Ggrrr...gggrrr...

Freeman: AAHH! (Shoots at Alyx; nothing happens) Oh, uh, shit. Sorry. How did I miss you? I shot at you at point blank range. After countless acts of self defense, I'm losing it. Dammit.

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"Rise and shine, mister freeman, rise and shine"

"No want goskool,fivemoerminuss"

"The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world"

"Bitch, if I'm there, it's ALWAYS the right place"

"Wake up and, smell the ashes"

"Oh, whose house did I drunkenly burn down last night then? Probably my own, after all it doesn't look like I'm in prison. *looks around train, seeing citizens all wearing the same clothes* actually, it kinda does."

 

 

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"Wake up and, smell the ashes"

"Oh, whose house did I drunkenly burn down last night then? Probably my own, after all it doesn't look like I'm in prison. *looks around train, seeing citizens all wearing the same clothes* actually, it kinda does."

Didn't care for the first two, but this one was actually kinda funny

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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