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@Rarity: Maybe he doesn't know he snores? You could prod him awake and politely tell him to shut the fuck up lol.

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@Rarity: Maybe he doesn't know he snores? You could prod him awake and politely tell him to shut the fuck up lol.

YAHHHHH!!!!! POKE HIM WITH A STICK.

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@Rarity:Just tell the library staff or just tell him to go fucking snore somewhere else.

 

OT:Great.Woke up tired as shit because of a spider catching the attention of my brother and mother. If you have to do something about it, then DO.IT.QUIETLY. And now I can hardly sleep.

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One particularly dumb woman decided to go ahead and verbally lash out at the bus driver, just because "he wasn't going quickly enough" and he refused to "open the doors". Despite the fact that it was a heavy traffic outside, and it was against the rules to open the doors anywhere except bus stops. Result: half of an hour's worth of annoyance and pointless hold up.

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One particularly dumb woman decided to go ahead and verbally lash out at the bus driver, just because "he wasn't going quickly enough" and he refused to "open the doors". Despite the fact that it was a heavy traffic outside, and it was against the rules to open the doors anywhere except bus stops. Result: half of an hour's worth of annoyance and pointless hold up.

There's always that one person, unfortunately. At least it wasn't the bus driver being an idiot (which you can come across sometimes).

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I know this probably shouldn't irk me at all, but I hate seeing people on DeviantArt who favourite nothing but the mainstream popular works. Come on guys... DA is for sharing art, for growing artists, for people wanting to be greater! Stop ogling over the professionals that already get mountains of love and find something else to admire. Be a part of that uplifting spirit, dammit. It's not hard. Go on to the home page, find some art you like, and favourite it. It's not that hard, and it makes somebody's day, especially if they're a fairly new artist. When I was first starting out, one favourite would mean the WORLD to me. Actually even now a single favourite from a random stranger feels amazing. XD

Just seeing somebody favourite stuff and comment on things that already has 420 comments or whatever just makes me want to snap a pencil. Maybe I'm hating on this for no good reason though, I dunno. Maybe I'm a bitch.

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I know this probably shouldn't irk me at all, but I hate seeing people on DeviantArt who favourite nothing but the mainstream popular works. Come on guys... DA is for sharing art, for growing artists, for people wanting to be greater! Stop ogling over the professionals that already get mountains of love and find something else to admire. Be a part of that uplifting spirit, dammit. It's not hard. Go on to the home page, find some art you like, and favourite it. It's not that hard, and it makes somebody's day, especially if they're a fairly new artist. When I was first starting out, one favourite would mean the WORLD to me. Actually even now a single favourite from a random stranger feels amazing. XD

Just seeing somebody favourite stuff and comment on things that already has 420 comments or whatever just makes me want to snap a pencil. Maybe I'm hating on this for no good reason though, I dunno. Maybe I'm a bitch.

I feel the exact same way with Youtube channels. I know lots of obscure channels that deserve way more subscribers for the high quality content they produce, it's not fair. :(

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I know this probably shouldn't irk me at all, but I hate seeing people on DeviantArt who favourite nothing but the mainstream popular works. Come on guys... DA is for sharing art, for growing artists, for people wanting to be greater! Stop ogling over the professionals that already get mountains of love and find something else to admire. Be a part of that uplifting spirit, dammit. It's not hard. Go on to the home page, find some art you like, and favourite it. It's not that hard, and it makes somebody's day, especially if they're a fairly new artist. When I was first starting out, one favourite would mean the WORLD to me. Actually even now a single favourite from a random stranger feels amazing. XD

Just seeing somebody favourite stuff and comment on things that already has 420 comments or whatever just makes me want to snap a pencil. Maybe I'm hating on this for no good reason though, I dunno. Maybe I'm a bitch.

 

DA stopped being about growing artists whenever they started featuring only popular works on their main page

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DA stopped being about growing artists whenever they started featuring only popular works on their main page

It's why I never look at the featured work. :S Just look at whatever is the newest and scroll through. If you have the patience to go through spam and 'art' (that really isn't art but oh well), then it's fine. XD And you can find some really cool artists.

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I hate the internet sometimes. Every time I have to type a word starting with H Google autocompletes to a particular 7 letter word that starts with H, fuck me.

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Gamers are entitled spoiled rotten childish assholes who have no clue what they want.

 

"Waaaah! Where's our native 4K 60FPS consoels?!"

"Waaaah! the framerate dropped to 59FPS, this port/remaster/game is shit!"

"Waaaah! Rockstar's giving us free DLC/updates, but it's not exactly how I envisioned it/want, this is shit!"

"Waaaah! Valve said an update will come this month, it's now a day late! Valve's shit and I'm never trusting them"

"Waaah! The NX may or may not be a PS4 clone!" (or if it's as powerful, if not more powerful than a PS4 "Waaah! The NX is a PS4 clone!" (Also, if it's not "Waaah! The NX is weaker than the PS4")

"Waaah! Changes were made to this game from the clearly early alpha stage which was shown to us, that they clearly 'promised' us"

"Waaah! This reboot is different from the original"

"Waaah! This reboot is too similar from the original"

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X are entitled spoiled rotten childish assholes who have no clue what they want.

I was complaining about something similar in regards to high end PC hardware enthusiasts. Four way SLI? gotta have it. 128 GBs of RAM? gotta have it. It's not even the hardware that gets me the most. Atleast overdone hardware actually has some purpose unlike fucking hardline watercooling and LEDs which puts your PC at more of a risk than needed and makes your PC look like a gaudy eyesore all at the conveniently low price of $3000. Fuck those people who turn their PCs into fucking hot rods for the sake of turning them into fucking hot rods. It's stupid.

 

Anyway honestly don't bother giving these kind of people the time of day. It's not worth it.

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Time for a depressive vent!

Depression just loves to hit you like a fucking truck. You think you're doing fine, you've done heaps of work, all is well. Then just... one tiny little thing happens, and then suddenly it snowballs and you've lost the motivation to do anything and everything. You can't stop thinking about the shitty stuff you've done in your life and how much of a flawed piece of shit you are, and it's so hard to talk to people because everyone is so happy and you feel like you've got to be happy with them because if you're not, you're going to ruin their day by being a sour bastard. Games aren't fun, drawing isn't fun, lying in bed and thinking about how shit you are is more fun than anything you could possibly think of. But hey, nothing I can do about it! I'm just waiting for the day when I can finally like... mold myself with my depression so it doesn't affect me anymore. Blargrh. I hate my head.

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(not technically a vent, more of a thinly veiled angling for advice from strangers on the internet)

 

Do any of you remember that Greek brother-in-law I mentioned in this thread a while back? The somewhat religious one who doesn't want his son to play with my old Monsters In My Pocket stuff when I'm babysitting him? He invited me to join him on an excursion next monday to Birmingham Museum to go see a famous artefact in the Egyptian wing that is reputed in some quarters to be the surviving staff of Moses, the very same one rumoured to have transformed into a serpent before the Pharaoh, or most famously parting the red sea in order for the pursued Israelites to escape from the Pharaoh's men. The providence of the Birmingham staff is largely due to the research of author and historian Graham Phillips involving an elaborate theory about a certain burial site and two individuals that history has distorted into a single biblical figure - you can read a little more about it here.

 

I've actually seen the staff a couple of times and in my brother-in-law's defense, despite my open agnosticism, we both enjoy reading about national and cultural history and holy relics are of interest to us both. But for the whole eight years or so I've known him neither of us have been inclined to "make a date" and do something together. On the one hand it's because we are both busy with our own lives, but I've always suspected a lot of it is simply to do with the fact that we kind of get on each others nerves. Brief visits are usually cordial but if we spend considerable time in each other's company there is a sense of mild alienation between us. I'm curious to know why he feels the need to invite me to go look at slightly dubious (though otherwise fascinating) object that he is certainly bound to be more convinced by than I. And besides the context why does he want my company now?

You don't think he's going to drive me into the wilderness and subject to me a shotgun conversion or am I just being ridiculous?

 

Time for a depressive vent!

Depression just loves to hit you like a fucking truck. You think you're doing fine, you've done heaps of work, all is well. Then just... one tiny little thing happens, and then suddenly it snowballs and you've lost the motivation to do anything and everything. You can't stop thinking about the shitty stuff you've done in your life and how much of a flawed piece of shit you are, and it's so hard to talk to people because everyone is so happy and you feel like you've got to be happy with them because if you're not, you're going to ruin their day by being a sour bastard. Games aren't fun, drawing isn't fun, lying in bed and thinking about how shit you are is more fun than anything you could possibly think of. But hey, nothing I can do about it! I'm just waiting for the day when I can finally like... mold myself with my depression so it doesn't affect me anymore. Blargrh. I hate my head.

Is there anything you live for that you can always remain positive about? If there is literally anything in your life or sphere of interest that you never tire of, or become averse to, then hold onto that thing despite of how awful you feel about everything else. "Depression" in the literal sense might be an overprescribed thing these days, but speaking as somebody with a pessimistic mindset I've often found that separating your situation by a few degrees from your own weird headspace is often enough to cope. Don't let that sneering ass we call reality grind you down Jeb... :3

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@SelfSurprise: Being optimistic here, he probably just wants to have your company. That's all. People change their minds a lot.

 

And thank you. But something I'm always positive about? Do hobbies count? Like, a specific hobby? My other hobbies I can grow mentally tired of, like drawing and stuff. But one hobby I don't think will ever get old is learning about psychology. It's just so damn interesting. And it's strange that I want to know so much about human interaction when I hate everything and am introverted as all hell. XD But it's something that distracts me from reality and doesn't make me feel annoyed. So I guess I should do more stuff with that. I should totally get myself a book on psychology... I don't read a lot of books but I would LOVE to read that book.

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(not technically a vent, more of a thinly veiled angling for advice from strangers on the internet)

 

Do any of you remember that Greek brother-in-law I mentioned in this thread a while back? The somewhat religious one who doesn't want his son to play with my old Monsters In My Pocket stuff when I'm babysitting him? He invited me to join him on an excursion next monday to Birmingham Museum to go see a famous artefact in the Egyptian wing that is reputed in some quarters to be the surviving staff of Moses, the very same one rumoured to have transformed into a serpent before the Pharaoh, or most famously parting the red sea in order for the pursued Israelites to escape from the Pharaoh's men. The providence of the Birmingham staff is largely due to the research of author and historian Graham Phillips involving an elaborate theory about a certain burial site and two individuals that history has distorted into a single biblical figure - you can read a little more about it here.

 

I've actually seen the staff a couple of times and in my brother-in-law's defense, despite my open agnosticism, we both enjoy reading about national and cultural history and holy relics are of interest to us both. But for the whole eight years or so I've known him neither of us have been inclined to "make a date" and do something together. On the one hand it's because we are both busy with our own lives, but I've always suspected a lot of it is simply to do with the fact that we kind of get on each others nerves. Brief visits are usually cordial but if we spend considerable time in each other's company there is a sense of mild alienation between us. I'm curious to know why he feels the need to invite me to go look at slightly dubious (though otherwise fascinating) object that he is certainly bound to be more convinced by than I. And besides the context why does he want my company now?

You don't think he's going to drive me into the wilderness and subject to me a shotgun conversion or am I just being ridiculous?

I might be reading into too much but honestly if he hasn't aggrieved too much and seems well intentioned I would say give him a chance. He might feel bad that he can't empathize from your viewpoint so he's trying to offer you a window into his in a very subtle way. Speaking as someone who has a lot of family oriented people in his family they can initially come across as uptight and even cold at times.This is due to their relatively small worldview and I don't mean that in a condescending way. They're just very fearful and concerned people. But At their core they view familial bonds as something integral despite how they come across from the onset. They want to keep in touch with family members and keep the family as a whole closely-knit. This is very important to them.

 

Feel free to call me out if this isn't the case but your brother-in-law doesn't seem like that bad of a person. To me he seems like someone who's just overly concerned about his family. I would say try to relate to him on his own terms and I know that's asking a lot but you might find some aspect of his character that's relatable to you.

 

@Jeb_CC can I ask you about Depression? I know it might be asking a lot but I sort of feel bad for not understanding it. I've never experienced what people have described to me as being depressed and people who said they suffer from depression just appear to me as though they're just sad and tired for a very long time. For lack of better words I don't get it and this bothers me. Not that I'd want to experience depression as it seems like it sucks but at the same time I can't help but feel like I missing the whole picture here. You know what I mean?

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Oh man, Helio, never has somebody come up to me and been; "So how is that?" Bloody hell, thank you. XD

I didn't know too much about it myself. I thought; "Well I'm happy all the time so I'll never get depression! I'm too optimistic!" but oh how wrong I was... XD So gravely wrong.

 

First off, before I start ranting, I want you to drill it into your head that everything I say beyond this is from my own perspective. Everyone experiences depression differently, so I can't vouch for the rest of them, but I can vouch for myself. :) So...

 

'Feeling depressed' and 'Having depression' are two completely different things. Anyone can 'feel depressed'. It's just another word for sad. But HAVING depression is having a mental illness. It's cause the chemicals in your brain are fucked up. Why they're fucked up can be because of all sorts of different things. You don't have to be in a shitty situation to have depression, it happens to anyone. But it makes me really annoyed when people disregard depression because they think; "Oh sure, EVERYONE's been depressed. No big deal, get over it." Because that's just not true. Depression isn't actually all that common. It's like... 6% of the population has depression in a year or something like that. Don't quote me on that.

To me it feels like... not sadness. It feels more being 'down' than being sad. And it goes so deep sometimes that your heart literally physically aches. I dunno why, but it does. >.> I'm not ALWAYS down though. Sometimes I am rather chipper, but that's when I'm distracted. My motivation is non-existent, the usual urge to draw or write vanishes a lot, comes back eventually but then leaves again at some point. But the way I perceive my world has gone to hell pretty much.

You wake up, don't want to get out of bed. Everyday work just feels like worthless hours spent on nothing. You see your friends as people who don't care, see your own life as a waste of air and space. I've had this depression for a good few months now, and that was enough to completely fuck up my schedule and work habits. I cannot actually get into Uni now because the work I have done isn't up to standard, all because I don't see the point anymore. And that turns into a cycle... "I was doing so well and now I can't even get B's in my grades. Wtf is wrong with me?"

It just gets worse and worse, you start questioning what your worth is, who your friends are, what the point of anything is because it's so hard to feel happy. And isn't that what people live for? To live it to the fullest and be happy? So without happiness, then what? I know people tell me; "Depression doesn't last forever" but it seems to go straight through my ear and out the other. All that matters is the now, never about the future. Depending on how bad the depression is, your thoughts can take a rather dark turn.

 

In my worst times, I would be driving home and just think; "I could totally crash this car into that wall... and then I won't have anything to worry about." Or; "What if I fall asleep in the bathtub? It'd feel so relaxing."

 

But then later on I have the sudden sanity to think; "Wait, that's stupid. What was I thinking?" Other part about depression is... I don't know if it's just my twisted thinking or not but it feels like my friends don't give a shit. XD So I don't talk to anyone about it. What's the point? I bottle everything up, I think; "I have barely any problems. Why do I have depression? This is stupid. Other people suffer way more than me" and that keeps me locked up indefinitely. My parents don't even know I have depression, I think only... the forum, and a mate from school knows I have it. And since I'm no longer seeing a psychologist and cannot see one because of my busy schedule, I can't get a prescription for anti-depressants, can't talk to a professional, and basically need to rely on the 'time heals all wounds' theory. I don't want people to care about me anyway though to be honest. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. XD They don't need mine on top of that. So, I dunno, I'll deal.

Then other than the mental stuff, physically... I've had bouts of insomnia, the occasional visual and auditory hallucination, and decreased appetite. So it's very much... self-fueling. Without all the sleep, without all the energy, well that doesn't help the chemical imbalance much so your head is just kinda fucked up for a while till it sorts itself out again.

 

And mini-rant, I hate it when people say they're depressed when they're not. I'm talking about the people who post it on FB to get attention and those "I'm sorry, luv you bby" comments. :I It pisses me off. I dunno if it's the same for everyone in this one aspect, but if it is, then you wouldn't be asking for attention!! You'd be wallowing in the corner of your room and be all; "Nobody gives a shit so why bother asking for help?".

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Not that I'd want to experience depression...

You most certainly don't...

 

To me it's when your mind tells you you have no hope. That nothing in the future ahead of you is going to be good or as you would want it to be. No matter what you do - only bad things will come to you. You imagine things you want most in life and then your mind takes them away from you, saying you will never have them. And then it blames you for that.

 

Jeb is saying it's all about now... But I think - now is when you feel the torture... But the cause of it is in the future you cannot or not allow yourself to see...

 

I am not good talking about feelings... I have to put everything into logic and rationalisation... But Jeb has laid it open for us to feel...

 

And I have to also say - to have and see your loved one going through this... I'd take any physical pain imaginable if it would save them from that...

 

Regards

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Thanks for throwing some well needed ice water in my face Jeb and Helio, I probably needed that. My post wasn't a proper whine anyway, it was more an expression of unease of having to spend the whole day with someone that I ironically have a lot in common in with despite our past ambivalences. I certainly wouldn't mind getting to see the aforementioned staff again. Moses staff or not it's an intriguing artefact in of itself.

 

And thank you. But something I'm always positive about? Do hobbies count? Like, a specific hobby? My other hobbies I can grow mentally tired of, like drawing and stuff. But one hobby I don't think will ever get old is learning about psychology. It's just so damn interesting. And it's strange that I want to know so much about human interaction when I hate everything and am introverted as all hell. XD But it's something that distracts me from reality and doesn't make me feel annoyed. So I guess I should do more stuff with that. I should totally get myself a book on psychology... I don't read a lot of books but I would LOVE to read that book.

Absolutely they do! I'm not surprised that you are interested in psychology, you seem to have an instinctive knack for seeing things in others that they themselves lack the self-awareness or inclination to notice, and that you are rather naturally self-reflexive in your posts. Reading can often give a sense of accomplishment and meaningfulness to a day that you might otherwise "write off" due to a lack of drive or confidence. Even if you've done nothing else all day, having done or engaged with something you actually care about to any degree can sometimes be enough. It's suspiciously close to the kind of tired and trite engineered optimism or "blue sky thinking" one is torturously subjected to by a world that cannot admit it's weariness out loud, but at least these minor goals can be fulfilled and executed on your own terms rather than someone else's insincere pathos.

 

Feel free to call me out if this isn't the case but your brother-in-law doesn't seem like that bad of a person. To me he seems like someone who's just overly concerned about his family. I would say try to relate to him on his own terms and I know that's asking a lot but you might find some aspect of his character that's relatable to you.

Oh he's definitely not a bad person! He's a great guy to talk to, loves his family, is as kind and proactive a soul as you'll ever likely meet. He is budding film director whose sparse means outstrip his enthusiasm for the medium, and we've plenty of fascinating conversations about religious artefacts, various mythological figures, our respective countries history, his passion for films in general, etc. I suspect it's just a matter of spending time with each other is somewhat problematic. Our interests are similar but our particular ideologies and stances on myriad things are rather different. We just rub each other up the wrong way, I guess.

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I spent a good while drawing a huge dragon on the huge whiteboard in my class. Then once done, end of lesson too, classmate walked up to it and rubbed it all out before I could even take a picture. Alright. Just because YOU don't draw and don't understand what it feels like to create something, doesn't mean you should ruin somebody's work.

I don't even know what to feel right now. I'm fuming. And I feel empty. Feels like I lost a part of my soul. That was a beautiful dragon... And I've never drawn a dragon so big before...

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