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Selous Templar, have you tried telling your peers to stop harassing you about your shape? Just say you're working on it.

Also if you're regularly taking pills, you should take them at a specific time of the day, every day. It's easier to get into the habit that way and it's harder to forget about it.

 

Mate, if doing that worked, I wouldn't have written that rant. I have started to act a lot more aggressive however, only when people start to talk about my fitness now, and it seems to want them to stop bringing it up, which is good as it means I can take your advice and be more polite to them. I mean I hate being aggressive towards people, but if push comes to shove, I will have no choice.

 

& I guess my pills get taken more routinely and consistently the less stressed I get, and I have been getting less stressed out about this.

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Well, I've made it to the Christmas break. Barely.

I got in touch with that friend of mine that moved out not long after semester started. She didn't say much, but she was honest of what had happened while keeping reasons to herself. Didn't prod or pry, I understood. We're still friends, which is a relief. I don't think I would have coped with a mass betrayal.

I sent an application for counselling at the university, never got a word back. Felt kinda let down by that.

Depression and anxiety are still bad; fluctuates all over hell. Monday I'm fine, Tuesday I'm laughing my ass off like a madman or worrying over losing more friends whom I didn't even speak to for a few days, Wednesday I'm so angry I want to punch something (or someone), then Thursday I want to either smash my head against the wall, slit my wrists, or throw myself off a bridge. Friday, I don't feel anything. Just empty.

 

I feel like I'm fighting a war I can't win, but I'm doing my damn best to not die as I'm dodging the random artillery.

(I apologise if I've raised the tone too high with this; I've been hit kind of hard these last few months)

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