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The rush of adrenaline and endorphins makes me conclude that i owe my entire existence to an internet forum dedicated to some guy that looks like Jesus.  The thought fades. I accept my fate and continue falling.

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>CONTINUE FALLING
 

You fall through a cloud of monarch butterflies. You think you may have swallowed one. By the time the violent flurry of orange and black flapping has passed, you realize it's slowed your descent and you only have about 5 feet to fall before you hit the ground.

 

You hit the ground on your back, with your head inches from a splatter of your own vomit.

 

Standing up, you surmise your surroundings. You're in the middle of a clearing surrounded by thick forest in all directions: North, South and West. To the East is a fence.

 

Your actions include: Soliloquy, Belch.

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>EAST

 

You see a chain link fence. It's about 10 ft high and has barbed wire at the top. Beyond the fence are more trees and intruige. The trees on the far side of the fence look particularly voluptuous and nubile.

 

There's a bold red sign that says "KEEP OUT" on it.

 

It looks like some trees and brush have been cleared out from around the base of the fence, but it's been a while and this portion has grown back a bit.

 

The forest is behind you, to the West.

Edited by Blue

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You open your pants and look south.

 

Yep, still a girl.

But you have a sneaking suspicion that's not where the plot is going. You close your pants.

 

You try to remove the sign. It' looks solidly bolted to the chainlink fence. However after a good tug it rips free, sending you a few steps stumbling back. You are now holding a plate alumite sign painted with a bold retroreflective red and white color. It's remarkably light. You hold it up in your hands to compare what you're holding to the fence whence it came from.

 

The fence still has a sign on it.

Edited by Blue

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You begin pulling off signs aplenty. Unfortunately there's not enough of them to make a fort. About half an hour ago you were counting how many it duplicated, but you lost track around 37. It stopped duplicating and now it's just a fixed sign.

 

But you do now have a pile of signs about 7 feet tall. Almost as tall as the fence in fact.

Edited by Blue

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You hear a voice in your head. It sounds sort of ozark and shout-y like the voice is trying to be heard over the drone of engines. 

 

"That's what he wants you to do. Obviously there's a hidden agenda here; you can't let him win."

 

You're halfway up the sign pile as you begin turning the phrase over in your head. In the distance beyond the fence, you can see there's a dirt road that's been grown over. Yonder in the clearing behind you is an ostrich.

 

Obvious actions are Climb up, or Climb down.

Edited by Blue

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>Climb up

You climb over the fence and land on the other side head first because you occasionally suffer from narcolepsy.

>Nap

 

You awake some time later, quite well rested, in a laser cage. The lasers hum omniously.

 

There are other laser cages in the room, that hold dangerous beasts. The dangerous beasts have various amounts of fur, teeth, legs and tails. The dangerous beats beasts are making a ruckus, now that you are stirring.

 

The room is darkly lit and made mainly of metal or stone. There are two doors at the far end, and a robot standing at attention between them. The robot is looking at you. In the corner is a machine making a buzzing noise. There are no windows here.

 

There are no obvious exits. By now your sugar rush has worn off. Thankfully you are still wearing pants.

 

Edited by Blue

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Take my pants off and singe them at the crotch level using the laser. I always wanted to wear a skirt. 

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>Beep Boop Beep

 

You do your best to emulate robot speak. The robot doubts you in fortran[1], so it's hard to tell if you said anything meaningful. You both stare at each other for a minute, trying to pick apart the other. Honestly you're wondering if you can heck outta this dodge.

 

These lasers are making it pretty warm in here. Looking at your under-britches earlier made you realize how much you wish you had shorts rather than these impractical bell-bottom pants. you always wished you had a proper sewing kit to fix these pants up right, but never had proper fabric cutters or a seamer. These lasers might do the trick of cutting unwanted length and singe the edge to keep it fraying. Just be careful to not make the wrong move, lest you'll end up with a denim belt to cover naught but the edges of your hips.

 

Just beyond your peripheral vision, removing your pants has garnered the undivided attention of the robot.

 

>Craft Skirt

 

Through the magic of narrative, you've managed to singe off the leggings just below the crotch and pair the edges of the inseam so it forms a skirt. It's short, but you can probably get away with it at Megan's cocktail birthday party. She's cool with DIY clothing. It occurs to you after trying to look yourself over with the new apparel, that your panties would probably be visible from a below facing-upward-angle such as exactly where the robot is standing. Fine day to wear lucky bluestripes this turned out to be, you mentally scold yourself. The robot's eyes have heart-shaped LEDs lustfully pulsing in your general direction.

 

>Beep Boop Beep

 

It gets the gist and is running towards the controls of the buzzing machine.

 

You intended to say "let me out" in some form of Assembler but you may also have given a stern rebuke to the propriety of that robot's mother and unmentionable acts with local farm animals, in ASCII. So the robot going on his way could bode well, or it may have a reply to the potential insult. Another possibility is it didn't really care what you said and it's only really thinking about its preferences regarding your revealing clothing.

 

In any case, the robot has shut off your laser cage.  Obvious exits are North, South, West, Door, East. Characters in the room are Robot and Dangerous Beasts.

The excess length of denim looks like it might be useful so you add it to your inventory.

 

Edited by Blue

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>Seduce

 

Good choice, considering this cage is suspended a good 20 ft in the air, and that robot is like 18 ft tall. You sit at the edge and swing your leg tantalizingly. You have confidence since you know you have superior hip allure.

 

"...Beep," you say suggestively. The robot heartily beeps its agreement. It walks over and raises its hand, and you step onto its finger and then wrist. You strut your stuff as you approach down from its arm to near its face, adjusting your shirt to make sure it properly emphasizes your chest. The robot looks like it's enjoying this just as much as it enjoyed the task of just standing there (which is to say its expression hasn't changed really).

 

You're hoping this robot is willing to do your bidding as long as it thinks you're interested, since any actual romantic interlude with this machine probably can't go anywhere healthful for you.

 

"Beep beep?" you beep, angling to get some fresh air.

 

"Beep beep beep beep," beeps the robot, intending to go to the ends of the earth at your whim, for your love.

 

"Hold it right there!"

 

A guard has emerged from one of the doors. He's equipped with a laser gun and a pretty cool red visor. The gun is aimed at you, and the robot freezes in its tracks.

 

It's possible the robot might break out of your suggestion ruse and obey this guy. You are kind of trying to break out of prison.

 

Obvious actions are Jump, Throw, Command, Seduce more.

Edited by Blue

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