Random thread

[BTGBullseye]

If I slap you, don't slap your friends. It's just wrong to pass that along like that.

[Blightmare]

So I’m sitting there on my computer when I hear some rumbling. Thinking it was my chair I stood up and looked at it, not finding anything unusual. I sat down, then looked back and saw myself staring face-to-face with a Baneblade. I have no idea how that got there, it must’ve taken some sort of tactical genius to… CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

[BTGBullseye]

Hi Hai, I'm high, and I've got a late date with fate...

[Blightmare]

Shit my friend says when playing Skyrim entry 1:

 

Man, this horse pilots like a boat in the water.

[BTGBullseye]

Skippy's list... (things you aren't allowed to do in the military)

 

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.

28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

46. I am not authorized to fire officers.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit.

56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Hay this forum isn't dead. And nether am I. How is everyone?

[BTGBullseye]

Cars are like dicks... Think about it...

[Psychotic Ninja]

Oh hey, he's back

[BTGBullseye]

Dicks are like cars... Don't think about it...

[Blightmare]

Sign I've been working to damn much on my games:

 

I just compared my inability to understand something but not wanting to let it go as "like being stuck in a do while loop with no exit parameter."

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Sleep is like sex. When you need it the most you can never get it.

[BTGBullseye]

Dicks and cars a lie objects, but not always... Think about not thinking about it...

[Psychotic Ninja]

VjKvBHFfbBU

[BTGBullseye]

[Blightmare]

"Did anyone get the number on that bitch"

"18"

"Thank you."

[BTGBullseye]

[Blightmare]

Excuse me, but I'm a fuck-mothering vampire. I killed a LOT of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such.

[BTGBullseye]

[Pinkie Pie]

'Just hush your boner dude.'

- A comment from Blip.tv, 2014

[rairii]

"'Just hush your boner dude.'

- A comment from Blip.tv, 2014"

- A reply from Kaweebo, 2014