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The potent desire to not suck

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Oh how I woe my pitiful existence, little 14 year old me, sitting at home, alone, on a computer, talking to faceless words that are still better than me. Oh how I wish I could stop being so meek and pathetic. It's the only thing I find worth doing. However, time is not on my side, my knowledge so small and the wait so big. However, perhaps, someday I will be older, and I will build a suit of metal and wires, I'll fly to your house, and say "In your FACE!", because, half the time, I don't know what I'm doing, chasing cars, trying to be better. How I wish I wasn't another miserable sheep who didn't know 2 things about 2 things worth knowing two things about it. Being a kid sucks and being an adult sucks depending on what you want, which is in my case to not suck. It's an inferiority problem. School says you're unique, you really aren't, school makes you want to be unique, you realize you can't be, you don't have anything that makes you happy, you kill yourself, something makes you happy enough, you decide it's worth it for a while.

 

 

[/ventpain]

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While I encourage people to express what they feel... Damn dude :S. You should try changing the ambient near you... It helped me...

''Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.'' - Steve Jobs

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Forgive me, but forums are usually where I go when I'm depressed. :/ I've been on forums for 2 years. Sorry if I bring you down, but I feel better now, having eaten a few cookies. Truth be told, whenever I look back at what I wrote, I don't understand why I felt that way, but it's because I usually run low on emotion of any kind. That is what neutrality feels like.

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While I encourage people to express what they feel... Damn dude :S. You should try changing the ambient near you... It helped me...

 

I live in my aunts basement.

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While I encourage people to express what they feel... Damn dude :S. You should try changing the ambient near you... It helped me...

 

I live in my aunts basement.

 

I don't mean that... Start going to new places, meet new people, try some new food, play some other games... listen to another kind of music...

 

edit: typo

''Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.'' - Steve Jobs

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While I encourage people to express what they feel... Damn dude :S. You should try changing the ambient near you... It helped me...

 

I live in my aunts basement.

 

I don't men that... Start going to new places, meet new people, try some new food, play some other games... listen to another kind of music...

 

I have a bad feeling about what kind of image people get when they think of me, so let me describe. I live in a nice, sunny neighborhood. There are lots of kids who will come over and annoy me to come outside and play pokemon, I usually just go with my younger brother who then DOES play with them. I have short brown hair in a crew cut, green eyes, average height and weight. O.k? Decent tan, and if you saw me, you would not be able to guess and might not even believe that I am like this. I eat a variety of food, am forced to hang out with these 11 year olds, I don't even listen to much music, I play LBP and Killzone alike. It's some deep rooted psychological problem I now have since I don't have spontaneous anger anymore.

 

That's pretty much me. I get the feeling I sound like a long, dark haired pale make-up wearing guy who cuts his wrists. You have to forgive me (or not) for posting such upsetting things, but I am relatively useless, and it can show when I feel bored and depressed so I come on here. If you want someone who always posts cheery topics, look somewhere else. If you want someone who will be cheery in a cheery topic, then I can be that guy.

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An important thing that I try hard myself to remember is that it's not about what other people have achieved, it's about what I have achieved.

 

Comparing myself to others is a futile gesture, as there will always be someone better at something else than I am, there are no exceptions. The best thing to do is try and work at something you want to work at until you are satisfied with it, not whether it is as good as or better than someone else's thing.

 

Very vague I know but I tried to summarise what could have been many paragraphs in to a single paragraph.

 

Anyway, try to keep positive. There's some nice people on these boards and I'm sure we can help in some way. Would you say motivation is a big problem for you as well?

Feel free to PM me about almost anything and I'll do my best to answer. :)

 

"Beware of what you ask for, for it may come to pass..."

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Yay! Another "too depressed to suicide" person!

 

We should make a club... I can bring the coffee, can you handle the donuts?

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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Get a hobby other then video games. I've never been happier then when I started to work out at the gym actively.

"Alyxx Thorne: Batman/10"

"HLPrincess: Also, I'm very proud we have Batman Himself on the Forum."

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Everyone's got problems and everyone has bad days.

Lots of what happens in life is outside your hands, so you gotta play with the cards you're dealt. Your attitude towards this and what you think of the world is a portion of your personality. Just because you weren't dealt the best cards so to speak, doesn't mean that you're entitled to complain because there's always someone worse off.

 

Can type on a computer? There's someone out there who is illiterate.

Can eat pizza? There's someone out there who's allergic to wheat.

Can eat? There's someone out there who has to have nutrients through a tube.

There's lots of things that you have that you can be thankful about and be happy for simply because you have them, you lucky duck.

 

"He says the glass is half empty, she says it's half full, I say it's twice as large as it needs to be."

I'm perfectly content with the lot I've got.

This is a nice metric server. No imperial dimensions, please.

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I'm perfectly content with the lot I've got.

So am I... I'm content with being too depressed to suicide. I'd hate to think which direction on the depression scale I'd go if I became dissatisfied...

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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Firstly, you have no idea how good it is to see a fellow 14yo who can actually WRITE. You'd think with the amount of mandatory literature and years of english lessons we'd be able to form coherent sentences; metaphors and other forms of expression are just a bonus now.

 

I had typed a lot, but for now i'll leave you with this statement: It's relative.

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Yeah, like I've said, I only post crap like this when I feel resolving upset about some things in my life which go horribly wrong. I can get a little "Internet high" where I post sad, stupid things which Inlook back on later. This was made over a week ago, and I've felt better ever since. I think it's better to let it die so I can stop feeling embarressingly stupid whenever I read it. To sum it up, I can be an ass on occassion because of stress.

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I think it's better to let it die so I can stop feeling embarressingly stupid whenever I read it.

But that's why it should be stickied...

 

 

To sum it up, I can be an ass on occassion because of stress.

That is true of us all, no shame in that at all.

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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To quote the mighty Bender: "I want to live! There's still too many things I don't own!"

 

Also, there's still too much coming that I want to see: The next episode of Freeman's Mind, Pluto's surface, the first discovery of an actually Earthlike planet around another star, the Avengers movie, the rest of this season of Dr. Who... when those things happen, I'll set new goals.

 

It's the little things that make it worth it.

 

Also... I've accumulated way too much XP just to waste it like that.

He just kept talking and talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt it was really quite hypnotic...

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You're still young. Look at me, I'm nearing 23 and still live at Hotel Mama and spend a lot of time on the PC. I assume you're healthy? I wish I was that lucky, having very little eyesight adds several challenges to life that I really have no interest in dealing with. My job options are very limited, I can't just go outside "into the wild" on my own, limited income, etc.

 

However I'm fortunate to have several good friends of both sexes across the world, some of whom I talk to by voice and video. If you can establish such a relationship with someone over the internet then the next step is to meet in person, only good stuff can happen from that point, assuming you're confident the person in question is not a shady figure. I can imagine myself watching FM with my friends with drinks and snacks or playing games, going outside and do stuff together, etc. Friends are friends, no matter how you find out about each other's existence.

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