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What would you do if...

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Don't go outside anymore, or at least avoid it as much as possible. There's the knowledge that any second you could accidentaly do something that someone might perceive as a threat and shoot you, and they're extremely jumpy too because they know the same could happen to them.

 

...if a movie company asked you to direct a big budget Hollywood movie based on your favourite video game?

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Demand to get a flat fee of $10m, plus 5% of final gross earnings. If they refuse, then so do I. If they accept, then I can make a bomb and still be well-off.

 

If cars only cost 1/1000th of their current price for a day?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Demand to get a flat fee of $10m, plus 5% of final gross earnings. If they refuse, then so do I. If they accept, then I can make a bomb and still be well-off.

 

 

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If cars only cost 1/1000th of their current price for a day?

 

Assuming I didn't have to pay the full price the next day, I would go buy a new car.

 

 

If every time you went to buy something, you would always have the exact amount of money needed?

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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Get a fully customized Ford Raptor, a very nice set of .308 battle rifles, a very nice set of various calibers of handguns, a very nice ammo reloading system, tons of ammo, all the PC parts I want, and buy a ton of stock in almost every company. (that last one would completely 'crash' the financial sector when I buy everything, then sell it all the next day)

 

If you owned a undeveloped private tropical island?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Most likely keep it as a nature reserve. I'd want as little human presence as possible. Possibly invest in a small encampment to help with conservation, but that's still a bit risky. Maybe build a hidden cannon that would deploy if any unauthorised people got within a certain proximity, but that involves messing with the bedrock. Perhaps an off-shore outpost to monitor the state of island, and keep an eye on anyone approaching the island.

 

 

...if you had access to a hot air balloon?

I USED TO DREAM ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR

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I would fly off to God knows where.

 

If you had all the phones in the world?

"FUCK YOU REALITY!!YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!!!"

"Hark! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine? Interloper! No quarter shall be shown hither, fiend! Anon! Show thyself, churl!"

http://myanimelist.net/profile/MantisDude

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Sell them for trillions...

 

If time no longer passed?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Nothing.

 

 

If you could participate in a Smash TV like game show for the chance to win a box that could contain literally anything in the universe (but the properties of the thing in the box only manifest themselves when you open it)

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Win.

 

If you could stop time whenever you wanted, for however long you wanted, but you aged twice as fast when time was stopped?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Aging twice as fast isn't too bad if you only had to do it for a few hours. You could steal a bunch a money and supplies and never leave your house. You would only have to stop time again to resupply.

 

If a skeleton dressed as a soldier wanted to be your waifu?

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. . .hey wait a minute!

 

If you had a million hats?

This random YouTuber is getting laid with random hot dudes, and is basically the worst person in existence. Why? Just watch the free video.

Red and yellow do go together.

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Sell most of them.Keep the most stylish ones for myself.

 

If you had an entire apartment complex all to yourself?

"FUCK YOU REALITY!!YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!!!"

"Hark! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine? Interloper! No quarter shall be shown hither, fiend! Anon! Show thyself, churl!"

http://myanimelist.net/profile/MantisDude

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I'd be cool with that. I'd eventually transform it into some Borgesian library of infinite madness.

 

If you gained the lycanthrophy-like ability to transform into a half-animal version of yourself, except this form was your least favourite animal, effectively turning you into a were-[***]?

When close friends speak ill of close friends

they pass their abuse from ear to ear

in dying whispers -

even now, when prayers are no longer prayed.

What sounds like violent coughing

turns out to be laughter.

Shuntarō Tanikawa

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Chihuahua.

I'd bark at people with such relative force I'd be temporarily airborne, chase my own stump where my tail would be if I were a dog, and get kicked around by Jeff Dunham.

 

This one's sort of like the last one. If you had a million dollars and the best plastic surgeons in the world, who or what would you get PS to look like?

This random YouTuber is getting laid with random hot dudes, and is basically the worst person in existence. Why? Just watch the free video.

Red and yellow do go together.

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Sorry to be awkward, but who or what is PS? If you are asking who I'd choose to look like, it would have to be Brian Blessed. Who wouldn't want to be look like Brian Blessed.

 

If you founded your own country, what would you call it, what would be the state religion and what would be the national cuisine?

When close friends speak ill of close friends

they pass their abuse from ear to ear

in dying whispers -

even now, when prayers are no longer prayed.

What sounds like violent coughing

turns out to be laughter.

Shuntarō Tanikawa

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[PS is plastic surgery, I just didn't want to type out the whole thing.]

 

It would be the Umweltfreundlich Reich, the religion would be Christian atheism, and the national cuisine would be a mix of English and German.

 

If you were in Black Mesa and had to get out, what would you use as a weapon?

This random YouTuber is getting laid with random hot dudes, and is basically the worst person in existence. Why? Just watch the free video.

Red and yellow do go together.

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Spend the whole time working and never playing.

 

...if you woke up one day and woke that you could see from your knees and locate lost keys with your earlobes.

When close friends speak ill of close friends

they pass their abuse from ear to ear

in dying whispers -

even now, when prayers are no longer prayed.

What sounds like violent coughing

turns out to be laughter.

Shuntarō Tanikawa

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