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What would you do if...

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I would be relived there is no yellow cereal frosting.

 

If it was raining men? Not real men of course, but the faceless, hairless, brain dead 'unfinished Ken doll' type?

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Try to stay under a section of my house that can withstand a human body hitting it at terminal velocity repeatedly, and when it's done, try and clear away as much of the soon-to-be-rotting-meat ASAP.

 

If life really was exactly like a box of chocolates?

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Be very concerned about what might happen to the world in the next 4 years. Although I'm unsure how much things would change in Britain - probably not much. Considering what could be happening over here this year, I've got enough on my mind really.

 

If you found a furry spider, gently purring in your bedroom?

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D'awww... Even spiders purr like large cats. I'd gently close the bedroom door and quietly fill the room with CO2. Then when it's asleep, find a container big enough to fit the giant spider and lock it in there before taking it outside and calling a news reporter.(some how I read a giant spider as big as a cat when I read the question)

 

... If you encountered a pair of glasses that let you see through everyone's clothes?

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I'd wear them everybody and describe my vivid experiences every day on a blog. Consequently I would become a billionaire.

 

If I was behind you right now?

 

Be very concerned about what might happen to the world in the next 4 years. Although I'm unsure how much things would change in Britain - probably not much. Considering what could be happening over here this year, I've got enough on my mind really.

I guess if he does get into power, I hope Britain consolidates against his policies and doesn't follow suite. I don't think we need to be even more conservative and Islamophobic than we already already are. In the short term it might sour relations with America's political classes and engender resentment in the countries nutcase elements, but hopefully the world will respond negatively to Trumps idiotic and offensively obvious policy of appealing to the lowest common denominator.

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I'd suddenly rotate my head 180 degrees, look you dead in the eye and say 'Right behind you." Suddenly, our view would fly around dramatically you'd realize you were in fact in front of me and you were the one who was rotating their head. *Inception noise*

 

If you suddenly heard a broken fragment of someone's conversation coming from right next to you when you were alone in your house?

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Not really care much, apart from being a bit more concerned about walking places. (I'd obviously wear gloves all the time)

 

If time ran backwards until you were 6 years old, but you could remember the intervening years that have yet to happen?

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Hmmm. That's 17 years of life experience to process, to the year 1999. I would...

 

Not be as much of a pain to my sister.

Be much less fussy about food.

Not eat western food when in Singapore.

Say much less idiotic shit.

Not let James walk all over me.

Not develop feelings for Cara.

Go home early that particular Sunday in 2007.

Take measures to prevent my breakdown in 2008.

Be a decent boyfriend to Lucy.

Tell Lucy her physics exam was tomorrow, not the day after.

Develop some fucking common sense.

Help Andy finish his Graded Unit.

Do better in my UWS audition.

Do twice as much work and study at Uni.

Not fall in love with Janie.

Not, NOT get involved at all with Alice.

Start job hunting a year earlier.

 

Names have been changed.

Yeah, essentially I'd use this as opportunity to fix a lot things in my life. It's a personal matter, but if I had gone home that Sunday in 2007, I would not be who or where I am today (and everything on the list below would not be there). Hopefully I'd be much better off. But I guess I just have to make do with what I've got. Christ do I regret a lot. Sorry, that got a bit deep.

 

 

...if you could reset every day to 00:00 once per day?

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I would gamble some money. After that, i could choose any path i wanted. Maybe try to change the world.

 

What would your do if you didnt need to sleep, or eat, or poop?

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I'd be a barbie girl, in a barbie world. Life'll be plastic, and fantastic.

 

...if you were permanently fixed to one point (your feet permanently stuck to the ground in one place). Where would you like to be, and what would you do?

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Oh God. Imagine if someone came over and like, tackled you. Your ankles would snap off! Omg! Noooo... XD I don't even, uh, somewhere safe please... Maybe my room. I don't want to be hit by anything. >.> And my room is usually warm, has a fan, and all my stuff in it so. Oh but I'm going to be so pissed If my router needs a restart. Nobody in the household knows how to restart it but me...

 

...if you suddenly woke up living in another country (preferably a country you really want to go to). :D

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Does it have to be a real country? If so, probably one that has lots of empty land for really low costs, and minimal law enforcement. (I don't really care that much beyond those criteria) If it's an unreal country, the same.

 

If life was lived in reverse?

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Live life in reverse in reverse, so that to the people living in reverse I am the one living in reverse.

 

What would you do if you found large machine gun in your garage, with no memory of putting it there but all evidence appearing otherwise?

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Take it out for a spin... Depending on if it appeared to be fired or not, and if there are news reports of a madman firing a machinegun somewhere nearby, I might just take it to the police so they can investigate... Or take it to the nearest federal government building and write my name in the side of it.

 

If there was no such thing as 'happiness'? http://www.cracked.com/article_19376_5-scientific-reasons-your-idea-happiness-wrong.html

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Probably carry on as normal. Without wanting to sound like a massive downer, I've always suspected that most of that which constitutes as "happiness" in cultural consensus is more of a social construct than a genuine emotional state of being. I think the majority of the time we simply experience contentment and discomfiture in varying degrees of extremity. I think it's hard to compare the happiness visiting a really great exhibition gives me to something more base and visceral like eating or sleeping. So to answer your quest BTG, I pretty much already live my life under the assumption that happiness is an arbitrary ideal and not a truly attainable thing.

 

What would you do if your emotional states manifested as different and dangerous breeds of dog?

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Have a lot more practice with my gun.

 

If it was mandatory for every person to have firearm training, and carry a firearm with them at all times in public?

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