J.C.

Slime

Banned for not watching Buffy Season 6, Episode 7, "Once more with feeling", as I am doing now, on a small window on the upper right corner of my screen.

Banned because I'm a smartass, there's a difference

Go to Vegas.

My phone is broken. I used to have a BlackBerry. What should I get now?

Space

Banned because I think we can put our differences aside, for science.

Start jumping up and down until you get warm. Coitus is also a good choice, if a willing partner is available.

I was about to jump into the dimensional rift, when some sort of Cyberdemon emerged from it. What do I do now?

Stinky

Banned because it's not only bigger, but funnier also.

Perfume

Don't worry. It's your neighbors, 6 floors up. they're having fun.

There seems to be some sort of dimensional rift forming on the street. What should I do?

Anything Heavy related.

Are you worried of a major social breakdown within your lifetime?

Banned for efficient use of internal space.

Get some combustible lemons and start a little fire.

I need to take a shower. Should I do it now or later?

Banned for disbelief.

Banned because that is probably true. But keep in mind I have all the "Leather goddesses of phobos" games. My avatars could get wild in the future.

Life

You're right. They are all after you. Nothing you can do, sorry.

What game should I buy next?

Combustibility

Banned because he does that sometimes. He's wild that way.

Offer people money and services in exchange for rep.

I'm afraid of riding horses. Is there anything I can do?

Banned because I can think of a few things that could top even that.

Insert an oxygen tank inside the shark's mouth. Open fire with a rifle. Clean up the mess.

I have allergies. How can I get rid of them?

Banned for being topped.