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Collective Foal

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Posts posted by Collective Foal

  1. Lol, what a retarded circle, clearly the BC mountains nearby are also uninhabitable. Longitude isn't everything. And also some of that cirlce is greenland XD!!!!

     

    Dude, I just scribbled it up real quick and posted it on photobucket so i could use it. It was implied thatI was only referring to the part that was Canada. It's just a vague idea of how bad most of Canada's climate is.

  2. It was in-character. I apologize if I offended anybody. My character is short tempered. Any side thoughts I have will be put in spoiler tags. All character thoughts will be italicized. Quoting another person will be in bright green text. Normal writing is what my character is speaking, and boldface writing is actions, from here on out.

  3. 92a1a3ff052f22d2ca6a83257af6c3af.jpg

     

    Oh, and I read your prologue. ME GUSTA MUCHO, SRAKE! I would like to say you should definitely keep this creepy suicidal story going strong. I support you all the way!

     

    About your style, you should think about varying your sentence length a little more. Use periodic sentences more (look it up). You use consistently short sentences and it gives it a choppy feel (Though who am i to talk. My sentences are always so damn long, they either get confusing to the reader or they're just ridiculously long-winded.)

     

    P.P.S.

    Another great chapter. I'm really liking this story so far, flash is a really cool OC

     

    SUCK IT SRAKE! :D

  4. Careful with your OC's power levels Fluttershy. Unless you do it really well, people tend not to like OP OCs.

    (I wrote a chapter of my fanfic... Nobody even said anything about it...)

     

    Don't worry.

    He lost to Dashy in their big race and in my next installment, he's going to have to call on a lot of help from others.

    I always try to make sure I don't make OC's all-powerful.

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