I can't catch a fucking break.
I've been with Youtube for years, since 2006.
I've uploaded a fair amount of videos, 133 videos.
Hell, that's more than people like Brutalmoose, and probably other popular Youtubers that I'm not subscribed to.
Well at the very least, I've been on longer than them.
What to I get? Jack shit views. Some outliers with 1,000-3,000, and the extreme outlier with 11,000 views. Yeah, one of my shittiest of shit videos gets 11 thousand views, FML.
Oh yeah I have 109 subscribers (as of right now), with with 60 thousand page views. What the fucking hell?!
I'm really banking on this, this is like the last straw.
I've tried other jobs, only had one, which lasted two months.
After that, my parents stopped paying me. Once in a while my mom is like "you know so and so is hiring". Yeah, I'll get right on it, I'll apply there and get rejected right away, no interview or anything.
The only thing I have left to lose is living here with my parents. I'm almost 23, and Spongebob has a better life than me. Oh sure, I can drive, but what good is that, if I have no where to go? Oh I have friends, but why would they want to hang with me? The gamer? The one that's most excited (when not in front of a computer) is in water (parks). Yeah, why invite me to anything?
Little to no moral support either.
I have friends who have amazing jobs, their dream jobs. I have friends who have girl/boyfriends, who are married (with and without kids), and what do I have? FUCKING NOTHING! Where's my fucking break?!
I smile and laugh, crack jokes when outside, in public, but deep down, I'm suffering. Shit man, even right now, I'm crying. Where the hell is my break? Am I not allowed to have friends that want to hang out with me? Am I not allowed to have money? A Job? A fucking life? Am I not allowed these things?! Oh I know you guys will "hug" me through the internet, but what good is that really if I can't feel it? The last thing I need to hear is "get up and do something!" WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN FUCKING TO DO FOR FUCKING YEARS?!?!