Doctor Felix Whooves

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Andrew J. Talon

Fashion Foibles

I'll admit it: I have paid attention to fashion and I know more than a lot of other guys. It's primarily thanks to the fact my gay brother is a walking encyclopedia of fashion, among other stereotypes of homosexuality taken to such a degree it's like he stepped out of Will and Grace just to annoy and offend straights and gays equally.

Point is, I can appreciate dressing well, and I can appreciate wearing clothing, being human.

It does not mean I am fine with being a model of clothing and having to stand around for several hours being poked and prodded by a unicorn.

"Rarity, this is entirely unnecessary," I said, once again. I got the feeling that wasn't in her vocabulary.

"Nonsense! An entire species that wears clothes most of the time! This is a dream come true!" Rarity gasped. “Why, your fashion must be far in advance of our own! It’s wondrous! It’s amazing! Your people are simply fantastic!”

"Then use them for models, not me," I grumbled. The outfit I had on was a kind of green suit that looked like it belonged in the Wizard of Oz, or as an get-up the Eighth Doctor would find a bit old fashioned. And I actually liked that Doctor a lot. Rarity bustled around, pins and strings and measuring tape all floating around me like stars orbiting a black hole.

"I have no other models, dear," Rarity chuckled. "Besides! Don't you want to look your best? I assure you, no human being anywhere else will be as finely attired as you!"

"That would be comforting if I could just sit down?" I begged.

"Nonsense, you stand upright do you not?" She asked, doing some sewing.

"Yes, but not all the ti-EE!"

"Oops! My apologies! Please hold still-"

"GAH! OW! HEY!"

"Sorry, sorry, I-"

CRASH.

I poked my head out from a pile of mannequins, and focused on the spinning world. "Oooh..."

Rarity huffed. "Oh, wonderful. Now I'll have to start all over!" She held up her needles. "Come now, up you go!"

"No way!"

"Oh come on you big baby!"

"Never!"

"HOLD IT!"

- - - - - -

"So, I like the chocolate covered ones, but Rainbow Dash says the caramel flavored ones are better! Can you believe it?" Pinkie Pie asked Twilight Sparkle as they trotted by the Carousel Boutique. The purple unicorn chuckled.

"I don't know Pinkie, I like them both."

"Well yeah, me too, but one better than the other?! It's crazy talk, absolute-!"

Andrew burst out of the door of the shop, covered in strips of clothing and running for his life.

"FREEEEDOM!"

Rarity was right behind him.

"GET BACK HERE!"

The two ponies stared after this, before Pinkie shook her head.

"So as I was saying..."

- - - - - -

The next story arc is coming soon. I hope this tides you over until then.