This storylet is set in Half Life 2 Episode 2, Freeman Pontifex, just before finding the car.
GORDON'S VOICE FADES INTO EARSHOT, ASCENDING LADDER.
...be the dominant species if humans die out. They can use tools. They can set traps. They can use grenades! I don't think I ever heard of monkeys using grenades. I saw a video once of some Africans giving a monkey a machine gun and it just sprayed bullets everywhere. They all went running for cover, it was hilarious, but I think that if we tried that with a zombie it'd take the gun and teach all the other zombies.
ALYX: Good work, you're almost to the car!
GORDON DOES NOT HEAR HER. HE LOOKS TO HIS RIGHT INTO THE DOORWAY.
Is there anything in there?
HEADCRAB LUNGES AT GORDON. GORDON KILLS HEADCRAB.
Nope, nothing but death. Yeah if the zombies ever figure out what guns are for I think we'd all be pretty much screwed. If we all collectively decide we don't want to exist anymore then in ten thousand years there'll be a flourishing headcrab civilization.
GORDON LOOKS AT THE DEVESTATION AROUND HIM.
Maybe we've already decided to do that, I don't know.
GORDON LOOKS DOWN AT DEAD HEADCRAB.
Yeah, so your descendants are gonna inherit the earth. Well, not your descendants. You're dead and I'm done performing any more necromantic rituals any time soon. But you get the idea.
GORDON ASCENDS THE INCLINE.
Speaking of necromantic rituals, Alyx is a really weird woman. Now don't get me wrong she's… useful but she's such a psychopath. I mean, how many people do you have to kill before you can maintain that sort of upbeat “golly gee willikers” attitude just after mowing down a whole police station? Maybe it's just a byproduct of the genetic engineering. They were messing around with her DNA in the womb and turning on the “mutant healing factor” gene accidentally switched on “Pollyanna Mass-Murderer” as well. Or, actually, maybe it's a learned thing. Her handlers probably thought “Okay we've got her - might as well use her”. Yeah, they probably put a gun in her hand age five and told her to kill a kneeling cop. Back of the head, execution style. The only reason she's a former child soldier is she's literally no longer a child.
GORDON SEES THE CAR.
Wow, this is a piece of shit.
ALYX: Gordon, can you see the car yet?
Yeah, yeah I'm- Oh shit!
PORTAL STORM. BRIDGE TILTS UP.
Ah, god, I think that's slowly starting to liquefy my sinuses. There's, yeah, there's no way I can get this car over there from here now. Okay, I know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go over to that piece of broken bridge, I'm gonna punt some cars around, make a lot of noise, then tell Alyx and Bobby I did all I could but we're gonna have to go on foot.
GORDON MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO BROKEN BRIDGE.
Man, what an absolute waste of time. What an absolute waste of my time, all for something that there's no way for me to use now. But this is just a microcosm of my entire existence, really. People telling me I have to go somewhere, me risking life and limb to get there and when I do get there it turns out it's of no benefit to anyone, especially me.
GORDON HOPS OVER TO BROKEN BRIDGE. RIGHT SIDE BRIDGE SUPPORTS COLLAPSE AND FOLD AWAY.
Oh wow. Yeah, I'm clearly in no danger whatsoever here. Lets just get this done quickly.
GORDON BEGINS PUNTING CARS.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Alyx. Presumably, the only scientists who survived Black Mesa were the Kleiners of the organization. So the only scientists she's ever come into contact with are the mad ones. It really should come as no surprise that she thinks that they're doing perfectly normal science. That's all she knows! And they've clearly been experimenting on her since before she was even born. I get the feeling that her Dad- Wait.... I can't believe I didn't notice before! Yes, Alyx is attracted to me, that's obvious. Really obvious. But it's a well known fact that people are often attracted to people who remind them of their opposite-sex parent. And, look, her Dad's a scientist, I'm a scientist. He's a leader in the rebellion or the resistance or whatever, I'm a commanding type. He has a beard, I have a beard! HE'S BLACK, I'M- well, that's one difference, anyway. Ah, that's actually worse, because it makes me just different enough that it doesn't register in her conscious mind.
Strictly speaking, I could do a lot worse than Alyx. A genetically engineered supersoldier can at least keep up with me. Mostly.
GORDON FINISHES PUNTING CARS.
You know, shunting cars around like this is surprisingly therapeutic.
BRIDGE BEGINS TO SHUDDER AND TILT BACK THE OTHER WAY.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit! I take it back! I did not activate the massage setting! This is not relaxing me anymore! I need to get off this thing!
GORDON JUMPS OFF BRIDGE, SEES BRIDGE HAS BECOME A MAKESHIFT RAMP.
You know, you could... If you... up and over... press the nitro boost... You could get the car over to the other side now.
Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.
SCREEN FADES TO BLACK, ACCURSED FARMS LOGO APPEARS.
You know, you could probably train monkeys to use grenades. Without killing themselves, I mean.
NOTE: Gordon named the vortigaunt, Bobby, after his friend from high school who set his apartment on fire trying to build a homemade taser. Gordon denied all involvement with the incident.