Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake

Randrye · Sunday at 09:57 AM

Hi all, here's the subtitles for Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake in .smi format

<SAMI>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>Ross's Game Dungeon Alan Wake</TITLE>
<SAMIParam>
  Metrics {time:ms;}
  Spec {MSFT:1.0;}
</SAMIParam>
<STYLE TYPE="text/css">
<!--
  P { font-family: Arial; font-weight: normal; color: white; background-color: black; text-align: center; }
  .ENUSCC { name: English; lang: en-US ; SAMIType: CC ; }
-->
</STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<-- Open play menu, choose Captions and Subtitles, On if available -->
<-- Open tools menu, Security, Show local captions when present -->
<SYNC Start="2300"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Welcome. I have something<br />important to tell you. It goes like this.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="7366"><P Class="ENUSCC">[beatboxing]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="12999"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="23466"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>Hello! This is filmmaker David Lynch.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="27466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="27467"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I'm going to be taking you<br />through the magical world of typing.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="32666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="32667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">By the time you finish this computer<br />program, you'll be a typing wizard.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="39733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="39734"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Let's rock!</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="41966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="41967"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wakey, wakey, it's the Game Dungeon.<br />Tonight we have <i>Alan Wake</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="47400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now this is a pretty well-known<br />game, but I've had some thoughts on it,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="50833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="50834"><P Class="ENUSCC">plus, I realized I don't<br />actually know what happened.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="54000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="54001"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's a mystery game, partially.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="56500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="56501"><P Class="ENUSCC">I've played through it before,<br />and I can't remember the plot.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="60200"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or why you're doing anything that you are.<br />That's unusual for me for a mystery.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="65050"><P Class="ENUSCC">So I clearly missed something. A lot.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="68000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="68001"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now I should probably<br />start at the beginning,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="70250"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="70251"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I kind of want to start<br />before the beginning.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="73251"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, it's another one of those games.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="75483"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="75484"><P Class="ENUSCC">Except I usually only have this<br />problem when it comes to time travel.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="79050"><P Class="ENUSCC">And this is <i>not</i> a time travel game.<br />At least, I don't think it is?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="84000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="84001"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, I'm not even sure. That's<br />how in-the-dark I am. Let's go.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="88000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="88900"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Stephen King once wrote that<br />nightmares exist outside of logic,</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="92666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="92667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">and there's little fun to<br />be had in explanations.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="95166"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">They're antithetical to the poetry of fear.</font></i><br />Well, sometimes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="98686"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>In a horror story, the<br />victim keeps asking why.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="101500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="101501"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>But there can be no explanation,<br />and there shouldn't be one.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="104300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hmm...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="105600"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">The unanswered mystery is<br />what stays with us the longest,</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="107980"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="107981"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">and is what we'll remember in the end.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="110466"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">My name is Alan Wake. I'm a writer.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="113239"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="113733"><P Class="ENUSCC">[<i>Dragnet</i> theme]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="120700"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I've always had a vivid imagination,<br />but this dream unsettled me.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="125200"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">It was wild and dark and<br />weird, even by my standards.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="128833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="128834"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think mine are higher<br />than yours, Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="130753"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="130754"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>So yes, it began with a dream.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="133500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="136600"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Following a typical<br />nightmare pattern, I was late.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="139613"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hey!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="140813"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Desperately trying to reach<br />my destination -- a lighthouse --</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="143753"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">for some urgent reason<br />I couldn't remember.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="146393"><P Class="ENUSCC">Isn't that the car from <i>The Evil Dead</i>?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="148293"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">...a coastal road to get there.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="150360"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="152053"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eat <i>shit</i>!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="153253"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="154001"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, I'll give the game props.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="155826"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="155827"><P Class="ENUSCC">If we back up a second,<br />look at that guy's face.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="158826"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="158827"><P Class="ENUSCC">That looks EXACTLY like the sort of guy</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="161566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="161567"><P Class="ENUSCC">who would stand out in the<br />middle of the road waiting to get hit.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="164433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well the scam backfired this time, buddy.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="167008"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="167866"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">He was dead.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="169066"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="170166"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I was convinced they'd put me in<br />jail, and I would never see Alice again.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="174008"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="174009"><P Class="ENUSCC">No, no, okay.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="176008"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="176009"><P Class="ENUSCC">The United States is <i>very</i> forgiving<br />towards vehicular manslaughter.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="180108"><P Class="ENUSCC">Let alone an accident where<br />the pedestrian is at fault.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="183500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh... we'll come back to this later.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="186008"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="186009"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, there you go! See?<br />He's gone! No harm, no foul!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="189966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="190558"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, so this is the tutorial, and it's<br />a dream, so I guess nothing matters.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="195408"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's why the guy you hit<br />reappears, teleports to you,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="199008"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="199009"><P Class="ENUSCC">then starts telling you how<br />you're not a good writer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="201158"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">It's not like your<br />stories are any good!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="204506"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Not like they have<br />any artistic merit!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="207040"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="207633"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">You're a lousy writer!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="209313"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="209500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, this doesn't strike me as<br />that far-fetched a dream for a writer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="213558"><P Class="ENUSCC">All your characters telling<br />you your writing sucks.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="216508"><P Class="ENUSCC">Speaking of writing, this is another game<br />I'm going to take the story challenge on,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="221458"><P Class="ENUSCC">meaning I have to try and figure out what<br />the story is without looking up any of it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="225758"><P Class="ENUSCC">I've had mixed results<br />attempting that in the past,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="228483"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I kind of consider it a narrative<br />failure if you can't figure out</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="231600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="231601"><P Class="ENUSCC">what a game is about without<br />looking at a wiki online.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="234933"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now this might be frustrating to<br />people who <i>do</i> know the story,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="238058"><P Class="ENUSCC">especially since <i>Alan Wake 2</i> is out now,<br />which, for all I know, explains everything.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="243208"><P Class="ENUSCC">But I promise I'll give it my best.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="245358"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't think there's much important<br />to the plot going on here, though.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="248500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Some guy is trying to kill me with an axe,<br />then a tornado appears, a bridge collapses,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="254308"><P Class="ENUSCC">some guy I've never seen<br />before says, "Hey, remember me?"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="257240"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Mr. Wake, it's me,<br />Clay Steward, remember?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="260400"><P Class="ENUSCC">I get locked in a cabin with a bunch<br />of TVs and lose most of my health.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="264283"><P Class="ENUSCC">Honestly, yeah, this feels<br />like a dream sequence.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="267333"><P Class="ENUSCC">A bunch of bad things happen,<br />nothing really makes sense,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="270558"><P Class="ENUSCC">but then Tyrael from <i>Diablo II</i> appears<br />and tells me to step into the light.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="274700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="274701"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's just giving me the tutorial.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="276600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="276601"><P Class="ENUSCC">The core of the game is bad guys<br />infected with the darkness come to kill you,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="280890"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="280891"><P Class="ENUSCC">but if you shine a flashlight on<br />them, you burn away their shields.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="284466"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then you use your gun.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="286059"><P Class="ENUSCC">[angelic choir]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="290100"><P Class="ENUSCC">This dream ain't big<br />enough for the both of us.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="293044"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="293600"><P Class="ENUSCC">Down you go.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="294800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="295066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now what <i>is</i> the darkness, you may ask?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="297600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="298086"><P Class="ENUSCC">Um...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="299333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Moving on, the tornado gets<br />worse, we make it to the lighthouse,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="302900"><P Class="ENUSCC">but the <i>Evil Dead</i> camera<br />was waiting for us.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="305900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="305901"><P Class="ENUSCC">AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="307613"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="307614"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan, wake up!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="308900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="308901"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Baby, just another nightmare.<br />Everything's fine. You dozed off.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="313751"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Right. Anything more...</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="315333"><P Class="ENUSCC">The lip sync isn't very good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="317800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="317801"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, Alan looks okay, but I don't think<br />his wife escaped the uncanny valley.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="322665"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="326333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hey, that <i>is</i> the car from<br /><i>The Evil Dead</i>. Well, almost.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="330360"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="330361"><P Class="ENUSCC">They changed it a little, probably<br />to avoid Oldsmobile licensing fees,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="334466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="334467"><P Class="ENUSCC">but this isn't a coincidence.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="336566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="336567"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you have to be careful<br />with dropping references like this,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="339566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="339567"><P Class="ENUSCC">because here's the thing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="340980"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="340981"><P Class="ENUSCC">Spoiler, but from<br />what I remember,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="342886"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="342887"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i>The Evil Dead</i> is way more<br />hardcore than anything in <i>Alan Wake</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="346567"><P Class="ENUSCC">[screaming]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="350567"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">JOIN US!!!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="352839"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="353733"><P Class="ENUSCC">[screaming]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="356566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="356567"><P Class="ENUSCC">[chainsaw roaring]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="360266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="362233"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, it's not like that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="364006"><P Class="ENUSCC">So by dropping this reference, the<br />game is raising my expectations</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="367333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="367334"><P Class="ENUSCC">to think this is going to<br />be like <i>The Evil Dead</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="369833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="369834"><P Class="ENUSCC">which would be fucking awesome,<br />but since it <i>doesn't</i> hit that hard,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="373946"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="373947"><P Class="ENUSCC">it's kind of setting me<br />up for disappointment.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="376533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="376534"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game looks gorgeous, though.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="378566"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh look, another one!<br />"L. Jenkins".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="381393"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="381666"><P Class="ENUSCC">That doesn't even connect to<br />anything in the game, does it?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="384516"><P Class="ENUSCC">Are they just dropping<br />references because they can?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="387241"><P Class="ENUSCC">That feels a little<br />kitschy, but whatever.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="389866"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well the big reference the game<br />is <i>not</i> hiding from is <i>Twin Peaks</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="394166"><P Class="ENUSCC">That and Stephen King's stories<br />are the pillars of the game, I think.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="397766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="397767"><P Class="ENUSCC">And <i>Twin Peaks</i> works,<br />because unlike <i>The Evil Dead</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="400933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="400934"><P Class="ENUSCC">the game <i>does</i> try to<br />keep up with that tone.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="403600"><P Class="ENUSCC">Sort of. We'll come<br />back to that, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="406300"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Do me a favor, sonny.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="408766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="408767"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">I could really use<br />a tune right now.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="411666"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ah-heh-heh-heh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="413500"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">"Coconut", number six in the jukebox.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="415966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="416600"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">I'd do it myself, but both of<br />my legs have gone to sleep.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="421733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="422533"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Bad circulation.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="424685"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="424686"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'M STUCK HERE FOREVER!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="427080"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">--favorite tune!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="428360"><P Class="ENUSCC">YEAH, HIT IT!<br />HIT IT MORE!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="431020"><P Class="ENUSCC">JUST KEEP HITTING IT!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="432580"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="432581"><P Class="ENUSCC">HELL YEAH, HIT IT!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="434021"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="434573"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well Alan Wake has<br />rented a cabin on the lake,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="437400"><P Class="ENUSCC">and the owner was supposed to<br />give us the keys, but he's not here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="440350"><P Class="ENUSCC">Instead, some ominous<br />lady helps us out. Cool.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="443860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="443861"><P Class="ENUSCC">And on the way out, this is so nitpicky I<br />may be the only person who noticed this,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="448860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="448861"><P Class="ENUSCC">but the engine has a little bit<br />of a problem with the animation.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="451860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="451861"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is a video cutscene. It's<br />not being rendered in real time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="455410"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, notice how the camera moves<br />smoothly as they drive over the bridge,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="459434"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="459435"><P Class="ENUSCC">but the car is stuttering<br />back and forth a bit.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="462433"><P Class="ENUSCC">That looks like an engine<br />bug or limitation to me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="465600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="465601"><P Class="ENUSCC">You would think a car<br />moving in a straight line</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="468553"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="468554"><P Class="ENUSCC">would be the easiest<br />possible thing to animate,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="471100"><P Class="ENUSCC">but hey, depending on the<br />engine, crap like this happens,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="474466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="474467"><P Class="ENUSCC">and if you're the animator,<br />you might be helpless to fix it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="477373"><P Class="ENUSCC">I just had to point that out,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="478600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="478601"><P Class="ENUSCC">because I've TOTALLY seen this<br />sort of thing on the Source engine.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="482200"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Once upon a time, I was a successful<br />writer, but that was a long time ago.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="486992"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="486993"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I hadn't been able to write a word<br />in two years -- not since my last book.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="490994"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="490995"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that's kind of relative.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="493050"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="493051"><P Class="ENUSCC">Two years could be a long<br />time, or it could be nothing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="495933"><P Class="ENUSCC">It depends on what <i>else</i> you've<br />been doing in those two years.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="499375"><P Class="ENUSCC">At the cabin, we learn Alan's wife<br />Alice has a severe fear of the dark.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="503600"><P Class="ENUSCC">And even though he was<br />trying to keep a low profile,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="505966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="505967"><P Class="ENUSCC">the local radio host<br />broadcasts that he's in town.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="508966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="508967"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I know who that<br />famous artist was.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="510966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="510967"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">It was Alan Wake, wasn't it?</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="512580"><P Class="ENUSCC">[Alan groans]<br /><font color="yellow"><i>He's my favorite writer.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="514366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="514367"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="lime">Well, Rose, I... </font><br /><font color="yellow">I just saw him at the diner.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="517233"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>Oh, I am so<br />excited he's here!</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="520016"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, he was recognized<br />by the radio host on the ferry,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="522966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="522967"><P Class="ENUSCC">and then in town, the<br />waitress is a superfan,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="525466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="525467"><P Class="ENUSCC">and salvaged a cardboard cutout of him just<br />by coincidence, not knowing he was coming.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="530666"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm not sure what<br />the purpose of this is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="533116"><P Class="ENUSCC">It feels a little self-indulgent and not<br />something most people can relate to.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="537166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh no! I'm a famous,<br />wealthy, best-selling author,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="539966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="539967"><P Class="ENUSCC">and everywhere I go, people recognize<br />me and tell me how much they like my work.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="543766"><P Class="ENUSCC">Life is hard.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="545064"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh, uh-oh!<br />Et tu, Alice?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="548166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan thought this vacation was<br />just a getaway to clear his mind,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="551700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="551701"><P Class="ENUSCC">but Alice was hoping he could use the<br />calm as inspiration to work on a new novel.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="555700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="555701"><P Class="ENUSCC">NO! SHUT UP!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="557700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="557701"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">So now you want to<br />get me committed?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="559386"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">No! It's not like that.<br />That's not... Alan?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="563833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="564922"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Alan?!</font><br />I'm right here!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="566326"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Don't! Just don't! I don't want<br />to hear it! God damn it, Alice!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="570066"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="570067"><P Class="ENUSCC">I didn't come here for your<br />schemes or this haunted cabin!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="573000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="573001"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Damn it!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="573867"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="573868"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ngyagh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="575000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="575001"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ahh! My knees!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="576700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="577533"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ahh! Ahh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="579826"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Alan!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="581026"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="581380"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Alice?</font><br /><font color="#00FF00">Alan, no! No!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="585333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, great. She's screaming.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="587300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, okay. I'll come take care<br />of the ghost, but I'm still mad.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="591400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="591401"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">No! Alan! Help me!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="594300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="594301"><P Class="ENUSCC">All <i>right</i>! I said I'm coming!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="596966"><P Class="ENUSCC">Great. She's not even here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="598600"><P Class="ENUSCC">But Alan thinks he<br />sees her in the water.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="601146"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alley-<i>oop</i>!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="602346"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="603726"><P Class="ENUSCC">And, Alan, wake up!<br />You've been in a car wreck!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="606670"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="607901"><P Class="ENUSCC">What?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="609101"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="609495"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, okay. Now we have a mystery.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="612500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="613713"><P Class="ENUSCC">This actually makes<br />me feel more validated,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="615733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="615734"><P Class="ENUSCC">since Alan doesn't remember<br />what happened in this game either.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="618506"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="618507"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">The gas station was my best bet.<br />They'd have a phone I could use.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="622453"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="622454"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">It looked like a long hike<br />through the forest to get there.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="625213"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="625214"><P Class="ENUSCC">What are you talking about?<br />That's like five minutes away.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="628133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, okay. They don't want you<br />going down the embankment.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="631383"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though I'm pretty<br />sure I could do that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="633916"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="634633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hmm. Maybe not. It looked closer than it is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="637933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="637934"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think you could still<br />climb back up, though.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="640834"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="641953"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oops.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="643366"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh well, what do I care? I'm a best-<br />selling author. I can get another car.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="647753"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="647754"><P Class="ENUSCC">So, going back to the argument,<br />I kind of see both sides to this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="651466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="651467"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's obvious Alan was in the<br />wrong for blowing up at Alice.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="654866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="654867"><P Class="ENUSCC">She was just being<br />nice and trying to help,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="657100"><P Class="ENUSCC">but maybe she should've known<br />this topic is a sore spot for him also.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="660866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="660867"><P Class="ENUSCC">Like, have you ever been critical of yourself<br />over something you know you need to do,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="664486"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="664487"><P Class="ENUSCC">and have been over it in<br />your head a hundred times?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="667040"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then someone comes along and<br />says the <i>exact same thing</i> to you,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="670033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="670034"><P Class="ENUSCC">like you've never thought of that before,<br />and you're ready to lay into them?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="673733"><P Class="ENUSCC">I feel like that's exactly<br />where Alan was coming from.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="676466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="676467"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh wait, Tyrael's back.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="678147"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="679093"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Hello? Is someone there?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="681382"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="684186"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">The loose sheets of paper were pages<br />from a manuscript entitled "Departure".</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="688399"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="688400"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">That was the name I'd planned to use for<br />the next novel I had never gotten started.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="692633"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I was named the author. I hadn't<br />written it. I couldn't remember writing it.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="698000"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wow, that's a good twist!<br />The forest ate his homework!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="701780"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though I was hoping this would mess<br />with Alan's head more than it does.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="705300"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, if you've had writer's<br />block for two years, then BAM!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="708700"><P Class="ENUSCC">You black out and your<br />novel is written, and it's <i>good</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="712275"><P Class="ENUSCC">but you don't remember anything,<br />and it's scattered everywhere,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="714933"><P Class="ENUSCC">so you may not<br />get it back again?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="716800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="716801"><P Class="ENUSCC">That could mess with<br />a writer's head so badly.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="719867"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="719868"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's exactly the<br />kind of torment I like.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="722833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="722834"><P Class="ENUSCC">But Alan doesn't<br />really react much to it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="725300"><P Class="ENUSCC">But back to Alan's fight with his wife,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="727300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="727301"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think the context really depends on what<br />he's been doing for the past two years.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="731600"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, why are they having a<br />getaway to remove all distractions <i>now</i>?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="735833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="735834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wouldn't they have tried<br />that a while ago already?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="738467"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="738468"><P Class="ENUSCC">It seems like an obvious thing to<br />try if you're having trouble writing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="742300"><P Class="ENUSCC">And it's time for<br />darkness-infested guys.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="745050"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="745051"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game calls them the Taken.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="747050"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="747051"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Premium cabins for<br />rent in Bright Falls.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="750726"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="750727"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Oh, hell.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="751726"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="751727"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Karl Stucky.<br />Pleased to meet you.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="756726"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="756727"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Non-refundable<br />reservation deposit required.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="762500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="762501"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Fair and square.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="764500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="764501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, they're all kind of like this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="766766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="766767"><P Class="ENUSCC">They come at you with weapons<br />and spout off random phrases,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="769760"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="769761"><P Class="ENUSCC">usually related to their occupation.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="771980"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, he's coming for me!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="774133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ha ha! A little-on-the nose, guys.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="777433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="777434"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">Any second now and Stucky would<br />be knocking on the door with his axe</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="781466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="781467"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>like Nicholson in</i> The Shining.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="783033"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, come <i>on</i>!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="785283"><P Class="ENUSCC">You either know that scene or you don't.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="787933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="787934"><P Class="ENUSCC">How patronizing is it to<br />the player to spell it out</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="791100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="791101"><P Class="ENUSCC">and kill what little<br />subtlety you have left?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="793933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="793934"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know, it's worth mentioning<br />this originally started out</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="796433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="796434"><P Class="ENUSCC">as an Xbox 360 exclusive.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="798933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="798934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wait, no, that's not true.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="801033"><P Class="ENUSCC">It originally <i>released</i><br />as an Xbox 360 exclusive.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="805183"><P Class="ENUSCC">And if you look at stereotypes for<br />the average Xbox player in 2010,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="809483"><P Class="ENUSCC">eh... maybe that's what<br />they were aiming for.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="812258"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, now we have a gun, so you point<br />your flashlight on them and then shoot them.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="816860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="816861"><P Class="ENUSCC">And that's 90% of the game,<br />maybe. Something like that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="820860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="820861"><P Class="ENUSCC">They often say crazy crap<br />and it's hard to make out.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="823960"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">It's rabbit season!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="826466"><P Class="ENUSCC">I normally don't like to<br />play with subtitles on,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="829033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="829034"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I think they expect you to for this part.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="830860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="831253"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Logging is a hazardous occupation!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="835400"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't know if the effect is<br />intended to be scary, or a little funny,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="839166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="839167"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I know what it reminds me of.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="841060"><P Class="ENUSCC">In <i>Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend</i>, at<br />one point you're trying to order food,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="845666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="845667"><P Class="ENUSCC">except the clerks<br />have been infected,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="847120"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="847121"><P Class="ENUSCC">and are turning into zombies<br />with Tourette's Syndrome.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="849533"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">I guess I'll have a number two.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="851666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="851667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">I suppose you want to goddamn largefy<br />that too, don't you, stupid-- -Fuck!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="857000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="857001"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Fuck! Fuck!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="858437"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="858438"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">No, I get it. Your beef<br />comes from England.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="861437"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="861438"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FF0000">Aaargh! I will<br />eat your fucking face!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="866100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="866101"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Oh shit--Mad Cow Tourette's zombies.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="869100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="869101"><P Class="ENUSCC">That feels awfully similar to the Taken!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="871533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="871534"><P Class="ENUSCC">[gibberish]<br /><font color="#FF0000">--fuck you.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="873601"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="873866"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>The staircase was broken. I had to<br />make my way up some other way.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="877962"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="878433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Are you kidding me?<br />Oh, yeah, that's <i>so hard</i>!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="882100"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's <i>no way</i> to get up<br />there! What can we <i>do</i>?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="885820"><P Class="ENUSCC">Look, I know finding poor excuses for<br />invisible walls in games is nothing new,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="890766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="890767"><P Class="ENUSCC">but the game usually doesn't<br /><i>call out</i> the insurmountable barrier</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="894553"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="894554"><P Class="ENUSCC">that you could climb up if<br />you could do one pull-up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="897500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="897501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, in fact, let's talk about that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="899233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="899234"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, this is presented<br />as a survival horror game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="902533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="902534"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now, I'm from the old <i>Resident Evil</i> school of<br />thought on that, where survival is not easy.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="907533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="907534"><P Class="ENUSCC">In old <i>Resident Evil</i> games,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="909133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="909134"><P Class="ENUSCC">you are not given enough ammunition to deal<br />with every situation, and melee combat sucks.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="914533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="914534"><P Class="ENUSCC">You should run away<br />whenever possible</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="916566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="916567"><P Class="ENUSCC">and save your bullets for<br />when you have no other choice.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="919683"><P Class="ENUSCC">So when I first played <i>Alan Wake</i>,<br />that was the approach I took.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="923066"><P Class="ENUSCC">That maximizes my chances, right?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="924983"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wrong!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="926533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="926534"><P Class="ENUSCC">I was having enough trouble<br />trying to avoid them earlier,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="929386"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="929387"><P Class="ENUSCC">but around here,<br />it's like I hit a wall.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="931533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="931534"><P Class="ENUSCC">I just can't make it up this<br />hill trying to dodge them.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="934533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="934534"><P Class="ENUSCC">My stamina runs out,<br />then they catch up to me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="937533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="937534"><P Class="ENUSCC">After your stamina drains, you can<br />still do this slow-motion dodge move,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="941566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="941567"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it's not that helpful.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="943400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="943401"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game is making it<br />clear this is non-negotiable.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="946400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="946401"><P Class="ENUSCC">It doesn't want you<br />running from enemies.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="949400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="949401"><P Class="ENUSCC">It wants you gunning<br />them all down.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="951400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="951401"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think that makes it less scary,<br />but they <i>are</i> giving me the bullets.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="955733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="955734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Actually, I found out<br />much later there is a way</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="958333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="958334"><P Class="ENUSCC">to sort of handle this<br />without firing a shot,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="960858"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it's awkward.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="962333"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's kind of similar to how I handle<br />mean dogs I encounter in reality.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="966266"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, I think we have a clue!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="968333"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF"><i>The weather is absolutely<br />still, the sky is crystal clear,</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="972620"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF"><i>it's like the forest is quietly<br />breathing along with you.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="977173"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, so the nearby radio host<br />is saying the night is crystal clear,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="981360"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I may as well be inside a cloud.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="983533"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game is going out of its<br />way to call attention to this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="986733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="986734"><P Class="ENUSCC">So what's going on? Hmm...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="989733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="989734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, the atmosphere is very good<br />wandering around the woods at night,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="993633"><P Class="ENUSCC">even though it's not that scary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="995500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="995501"><P Class="ENUSCC">since everything is pretty<br />well lit and I have a gun.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="998466"><P Class="ENUSCC">Again, the whole thing is gorgeous.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1000733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1000734"><P Class="ENUSCC">I can really feel this was<br />state-of-the-art for 2010.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1003783"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, no, excuse me; this was state of<br />the art for every game that wasn't <i>Crysis</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1008733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1008734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hmm, I guess <i>Heavy Rain</i><br />came out in 2010 too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1012066"><P Class="ENUSCC">That one was pretty bleeding-<br />edge graphically for the time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1014933"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, the graphics and art<br />direction are still really good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1018733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1018734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though this is in the forest<br />at night with lots of mist,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1022733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1022734"><P Class="ENUSCC">so fingers crossed this doesn't turn into<br />pixelated mush on YouTube, but... it might.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1028033"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, another thermos.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1029983"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, I've been finding these,<br />but I don't know what they're for.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1033233"><P Class="ENUSCC">I looked this up, since I don't think<br />this is going to give away the story,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1036666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1036667"><P Class="ENUSCC">and yeah, they don't do anything.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1039700"><P Class="ENUSCC">If you collect all<br />the thermoses,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1041600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1041601"><P Class="ENUSCC">then you get an achievement saying<br />you collected all the thermoses. That's it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1046000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1046001"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1047201"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1047440"><P Class="ENUSCC">All I can say is some people play<br />games for different reasons than I do.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1051700"><P Class="ENUSCC">Adding to the atmosphere is periodically<br />you can find a TV playing <i>Night Springs</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1057001"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1057002"><P Class="ENUSCC">These are basically <i>Twilight<br />Zone</i> episodes with no budget</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1059953"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1059954"><P Class="ENUSCC">condensed into<br />about three minutes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1062001"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1062002"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're honestly pretty good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1063833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1063834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now I thought maybe they're meant to be<br />metaphors for what's happening in the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1067466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1067467"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm pretty sure one of them is, but others<br />might just be fun extra ideas they had.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1072466"><P Class="ENUSCC">For example, this one is about the<br />concept of multiverses, essentially,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1076300"><P Class="ENUSCC">where there are variations of reality<br />where we made different decisions</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1079606"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1079607"><P Class="ENUSCC">or changes than the ones we did.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1081693"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1081694"><P Class="ENUSCC">To prove he's mastered this timeline, he<br />holds a gun up to his head and it won't fire.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1086350"><P Class="ENUSCC">Um, the first time anyway.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1088500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Speaking of guns,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1090233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1090234"><P Class="ENUSCC">I now have a shotgun, a<br />flare gun, and look at this!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1094533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1094534"><P Class="ENUSCC">An entire chest full<br />of revolver rounds!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1097550"><P Class="ENUSCC">The flare gun doesn't even just burn their<br />shields; it eliminates them in a radius.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1102633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1102634"><P Class="ENUSCC">I feel like this is making<br />the game less scary.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1105633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1105634"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, this makes me question<br />what kind of game this is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1108633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1108634"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm getting mixed messages.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1110633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Like with the pattern of the enemies.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1112633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Usually it seems like<br />three or five will run at me,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1115433"><P Class="ENUSCC">I gun them down, then move<br />on to the next area, repeat.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1118633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1118634"><P Class="ENUSCC">But then if I try to explore a<br />little bit, they just spawn in.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1122266"><P Class="ENUSCC">The longer I looked around,<br />the more seemed to show up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1125200"><P Class="ENUSCC">So I think it might have<br />infinite spawning in spots.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1128175"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess to discourage exploration?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1130933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1131500"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">The Deerfest had been two<br />weeks away when we arrived.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1134800"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>If the day count on<br />the banner was right,</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1136866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1136867"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>I was missing a whole week between<br />the night we got here and now.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1140266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1140267"><P Class="ENUSCC">Aha! The plot thickens!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1143033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1143034"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know, losing a week<br />of your memory would suck,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1145933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1145934"><P Class="ENUSCC">but if you were really productive during that<br />week, like Alan was, that wouldn't be so bad.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1151200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1151201"><P Class="ENUSCC">It would be kind of neat to<br />figure out what you got up to.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1153766"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think it depends on how<br />much you trust yourself.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1156500"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know that movie <i>Limitless</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1157966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1157967"><P Class="ENUSCC">where a guy takes drugs to<br />be super intelligent for a while,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1160866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1160867"><P Class="ENUSCC">but then doesn't remember<br />what he did afterwards?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1163325"><P Class="ENUSCC">I like how during one hazy<br />sequence of everything he was up to,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1166673"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1166674"><P Class="ENUSCC">some guy was obviously<br />pointing a gun at him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1169350"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, he got past that<br />somehow, which is good,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1172225"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I'd be worried if my unconscious<br />self was stirring up <i>that</i> much trouble,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1176233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1176234"><P Class="ENUSCC">and people come<br />looking for me later.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1178400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Speak of the devil, look who it is!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1180413"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I'll keep-- Outside, there's only<br />darkness. I'll reach her, I'll fix it.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1184300"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="yellow">I'll bring her back. The story<br />will come true. If I stop, she's lost.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1188866"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, so the world is<br />consumed by darkness,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1191400"><P Class="ENUSCC">but Alan can save the day by<br />writing locked away in a cabin.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1194426"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hmm...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1195860"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1195861"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't know; it feels like we<br />might be entering territory</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1198686"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1198687"><P Class="ENUSCC">where everything is getting<br />made up, so nothing matters.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1201466"><P Class="ENUSCC">IT'S THE FUZZ!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1203575"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Oh, thank God, Sheriff.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1205366"><P Class="ENUSCC">I have a gun! Make<br />my day, Sheriff!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1208033"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">I'm Alan Wake, but listen. I was in a<br />car crash. My wife Alice, she's missing!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1211942"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1211943"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Calm down, Mr. Wake--</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1213426"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">We were staying in a cabin on<br />the island, on Cauldron Lake.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1215793"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">There's no island on Cauldron Lake.<br />Not since the big eruption in the '70s.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1219849"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1219850"><P Class="ENUSCC">What?<br /><font color="yellow">Please! I can take you there, okay?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1222466"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">You look like you've taken<br />a pretty bad knock to the head.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1224845"><P Class="ENUSCC">Aaah! AAAAAAAH!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1227213"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1227214"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Are you okay?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1228533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1228540"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, the Sheriff is nice enough</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1229873"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1229874"><P Class="ENUSCC">to stop by the lake on your way<br />back to prove that you're crazy,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1233200"><P Class="ENUSCC">and I admit, I like<br />Alan's reaction here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1235866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1236450"><P Class="ENUSCC">Whaaaaaat? Whooooaaaaa!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1240353"><P Class="ENUSCC">And that's the end of the episode, even<br />though this game was never sold episodically.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1245100"><P Class="ENUSCC">And music which I really<br />don't like starts playing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1247950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1247951"><P Class="ENUSCC">["In Dreams" by Roy Orbison]<br /><i>To my room every night...</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1249633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1249734"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I think it stays that way for<br />the duration of the song.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1253150"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now, I remember people saying there<br />are clues to the game's plot in the music,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1257050"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I'm not gonna sit here looking at a black<br />screen while I listen to a song I don't like</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1260950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1260951"><P Class="ENUSCC">for three minutes or<br />whatever they're expecting,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1263250"><P Class="ENUSCC">and I would be surprised if the average<br />Xbox player in 2010 would either.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1267450"><P Class="ENUSCC">And immediately following that, we get a<br />"Previously on Alan Wake", like a TV episode.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1273250"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is weird, since you<br />JUST played the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1276450"><P Class="ENUSCC">But I guess if you played one episode,<br />then came back three months later,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1280033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1280034"><P Class="ENUSCC">then this would be helpful for you.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1281666"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't get it, but it's<br />skippable, so no problem!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1285150"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yep. Both of these sequences are<br />skippable, and don't ruin things,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1288633"><P Class="ENUSCC">which is a lot more than I can<br />say for the <i>Walking Dead</i> series.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1291950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1291951"><P Class="ENUSCC">Maybe they patched this out by now, but after<br />you finished an episode of <i>The Walking Dead</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1296950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1296975"><P Class="ENUSCC">they would tell you immediately<br />what's coming on in the next episode,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1300633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1300634"><P Class="ENUSCC">and it was unskippable,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1302275"><P Class="ENUSCC">and they did those<br />constant fades-to-black, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1305100"><P Class="ENUSCC">Why the hell would you do<br />this if the player is already</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1308107"><P Class="ENUSCC">playing the game and ready<br />to play the next episode?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1311200"><P Class="ENUSCC">To spoil it for them so<br />there's less surprise?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1314150"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1314156"><P Class="ENUSCC">I used to leave the room when<br />these came up in <i>The Walking Dead</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1317433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1317434"><P Class="ENUSCC">just so they wouldn't ruin<br />their own game for me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1320000"><P Class="ENUSCC">So thank you, Alan<br />Wake, for NOT doing that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1323225"><P Class="ENUSCC">And since the game's giving me an<br />intermission, I'm using it to check in.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1326950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1326951"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm gonna try and get to the<br />bottom of what's going on here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1329680"><P Class="ENUSCC">Still more questions than answers, but since<br />I literally don't remember what happened,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1334125"><P Class="ENUSCC">at least this time I'll figure out why.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1336350"><P Class="ENUSCC">And it's flashback time!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1338450"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's pretty mundane with tasks like putting<br />on the coffee and examining photos,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1342533"><P Class="ENUSCC">but you get to see Alan's<br />apartment in New York.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1345050"><P Class="ENUSCC">Part of me suspects these were<br />unused assets from <i>Max Payne 2,</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1348600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1348601"><P Class="ENUSCC">so why not have a flashback in them?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1351001"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1351350"><P Class="ENUSCC">AHH! My chair is beating me up! Help!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1355100"><P Class="ENUSCC">But there's not much to this<br />and--oop, there goes the power.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1358300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alice is freaking out because she's<br />afraid of the dark, but we knew that,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1362100"><P Class="ENUSCC">so we're just retreading things.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1364150"><P Class="ENUSCC">There you go. All better.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1365986"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1366700"><P Class="ENUSCC">Back to present day 2010, it's<br />morning at the sheriff's office.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1370600"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow">Have you started<br />looking for my wife yet?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1372413"><P Class="ENUSCC">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1374400"><P Class="ENUSCC">How did you end up<br />at Stucky's gas station?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1376900"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="yellow"><i>I wanted to tell her what had happened<br />last night, but I couldn't. She'd lock me up.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1381200"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay! Alan has more brains than some<br />gaming protagonists I've seen. Good!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1386653"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="#00FF00">Alan, please help me.</font></i><br /><font color="yellow">Alice?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1389898"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1389899"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="#00FFFF">Stop talking to the law.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1391513"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1391514"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="#00FFFF">You'll do exactly what I say if you<br />ever want to see your wife again.</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1394233"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, nice! A ransom call!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1396833"><P Class="ENUSCC">And he directs us to a drop-off<br />with Alice's driver's license</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1399733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1399734"><P Class="ENUSCC">to let us know he's being serious.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1401600"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, I guess that's good news,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1402946"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1402947"><P Class="ENUSCC">that Alice is being held hostage<br />and isn't drowned in the lake,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1406150"><P Class="ENUSCC">but he says "don't go to the police".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1408433"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think I'd have to hard<br />disagree for two reasons.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1411700"><P Class="ENUSCC">First off, let's hear Alice's voice again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1414600"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00"><i>Alan, please help me.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1416926"><P Class="ENUSCC">That sounds<br />suspiciously robotic.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1419250"><P Class="ENUSCC">There was voice generation software<br />that could do that back in 2010.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1422753"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1422754"><P Class="ENUSCC">Forget about today.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1424300"><P Class="ENUSCC">So we have no proof she's alive.<br />Alan should ask to put her on the phone.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1428400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Second, and much more suspicious,<br />there's no actual ransom.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1432700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1432701"><P Class="ENUSCC">He didn't say, "Meet him at midnight with<br />a hundred grand", or "a million dollars".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1437092"><P Class="ENUSCC">He just said, "Come meet him in<br />the forest at midnight, or she dies".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1441618"><P Class="ENUSCC">Who the hell kidnaps someone,<br />tells you where to meet them,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1445773"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1445774"><P Class="ENUSCC">but has no ransom demands?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1447700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1447701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Psychos, that's who!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1449766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1449767"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's probably thinking, "Well, I<br />hacked up this guy's wife with an axe,"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1453366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1453367"><P Class="ENUSCC">"I'll tell him to meet me in the<br />woods at night, and I can kill him, too!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1456324"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1456325"><P Class="ENUSCC">"Two-for-one special!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1457966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1457967"><P Class="ENUSCC">Meanwhile, your publicist calls<br />and is coming to meet you. Sure.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1461633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, and if you eavesdrop on the radio,<br />the locals are wondering where Stucky is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1466200"><P Class="ENUSCC">The sheriff asked about<br />him, too, last night.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1468633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1468634"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Have you seen Stucky?<br />The guy who owns this place?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1471993"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you remember Stucky.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1473633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1473634"><P Class="ENUSCC">He was ranting, same as the other crazies,<br />and I had to pump him full of lead?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1477633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1477634"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, to me, that says two things.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1479933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1479934"><P Class="ENUSCC">First, this is all real, or as<br />close as we get in this game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1483933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1483934"><P Class="ENUSCC">All the Taken are not just in Alan's head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1486933"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're real infected<br />people coming to kill him,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1489533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1489534"><P Class="ENUSCC">because he killed Stucky, and people<br />are noticing Stucky's missing now.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1493533"><P Class="ENUSCC">Second, this is really<br />good news for Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1496433"><P Class="ENUSCC">All those enemies disappearing<br />into sparks when you kill them</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1499066"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1499067"><P Class="ENUSCC">aren't just to keep the frame rate<br />high--they're also erasing evidence.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1503283"><P Class="ENUSCC">The police aren't going to be<br />able to prove a damn thing,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1505933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1505934"><P Class="ENUSCC">other than Alan fired a gun out<br />in the woods a bunch of times.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1509183"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's awfully hard to convict someone<br />of murder if you don't have a body.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1513333"><P Class="ENUSCC">You're just going to have missing people.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1515383"><P Class="ENUSCC">Lots and lots and lots of missing people.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1518933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1518934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Who's this?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1520433"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">I'm Dr. Emil Hartman. I'd like to invite<br />you to stay at Cauldron Lake Lodge.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1524872"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1524873"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">Did you talk to my wife?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1527049"><P Class="ENUSCC">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1529033"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">...your situation with her<br />on several occasions.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1531333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1531334"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">Did you set something up with her?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1532878"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1532879"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">I invited her here. My<br />clinic is a place where--</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1536934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, I take back what I said about Alan<br />being smarter than the average protagonist.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1542158"><P Class="ENUSCC">And your publicist Barry arrives.<br />Everything at once.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1546033"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">No harm done, Sarah. I'm all<br />right. I don't want to press charges.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1550872"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1550873"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's not how it works. Assault<br />and battery is a crime against the state.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1555666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1555667"><P Class="ENUSCC">However, despite punching<br />someone in front of multiple cops,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1559366"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan Wake is a famous celebrity, so he<br />gets to walk out of there at no charges.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1564466"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, you need a new place to stay<br />since your cabin doesn't exist anymore.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1568166"><P Class="ENUSCC">And listen to this checking in.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1570266"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">I guess I'm a little worried. We got a bunch<br />of campers out there we haven't heard from.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1574266"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">It's not like these people are on a schedule,<br />but with the traps, well... you know.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1578134"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, a bunch of campers<br />that haven't checked in, huh?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1582166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Lots of missing people?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1584533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1584534"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's like I said, this isn't<br />just in Alan's head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1587433"><P Class="ENUSCC">All right, let's go.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1589033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1589883"><P Class="ENUSCC">Um...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1591083"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1592183"><P Class="ENUSCC">Come on, open the door.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1593863"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1594333"><P Class="ENUSCC">I can't get out this way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1596013"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1596133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Is there another way out?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1597766"><P Class="ENUSCC">It says, "get the keys".<br />I already got the keys, see?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1602065"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh my God, is this a bug?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1604315"><P Class="ENUSCC">Let's try the last checkpoint. It's not far.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1606965"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yada yada, missing campers.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1609215"><P Class="ENUSCC">Got the keys. Let's go.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1611865"><P Class="ENUSCC">Aaaaah... Come on!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1615015"><P Class="ENUSCC">I hate this crap. One more time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1617940"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'll just tap it <i>very</i><br />slightly this time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1621015"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yay, all right. Computers...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1624165"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, I should mention, I didn't even<br />realize there was a remaster of the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1628433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1628434"><P Class="ENUSCC">But I'm too cheap to buy it again<br />unless it had a really compelling reason.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1632133"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's some comparisons out there,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1633966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1633967"><P Class="ENUSCC">and while it does have<br />higher resolution textures,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1636433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1636434"><P Class="ENUSCC">apparently it's missing<br />some other aspects.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1638983"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1638984"><P Class="ENUSCC">So yet another sidegrade release.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1641700"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't know, I'm<br />probably in the minority,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1644000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1644001"><P Class="ENUSCC">but unless there are major<br />quality-of-life features added,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1647350"><P Class="ENUSCC">I kind of don't see the point of<br />remastering most games past maybe...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1651300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1651301"><P Class="ENUSCC">2004? Somewhere around there?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1653933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1653934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Besides, then they would change<br />the scene where Alan is in shock,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1657033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1657034"><P Class="ENUSCC">and that was perfect the first time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1659166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1659167"><P Class="ENUSCC">Maybe the remaster lets<br />you turn the vignette filter off.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1662766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1662767"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's been bugging me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1664100"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's been more obvious<br />in some parts than others,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1666733"><P Class="ENUSCC">though I have to admit, if<br />you're going to have one,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1669266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1669267"><P Class="ENUSCC">this is kind of where it belongs,<br />in some creepy game at night.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1673233"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though it's still not that creepy.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1675483"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, it's trying, but<br />something isn't connecting.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1678600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1678601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Like, I'm headed out to the woods to meet<br />the kidnapper and stop by the lodge again,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1682800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1682801"><P Class="ENUSCC">and OOPS! The owner's dead meat.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1685566"><P Class="ENUSCC">This should be scarier than it is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1687933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1687934"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't know what<br />the problem here is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1689933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1689934"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess something with the presentation.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1692266"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, good, another<br />chest full of bullets.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1694733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1694734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, and here's a pro tip:</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1696433"><P Class="ENUSCC">The wet darkness hurts<br />you if you step in it. See?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1699866"><P Class="ENUSCC">But the dry darkness<br />is fine. Good to know.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1703133"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I'm trying to make<br />my way through the woods,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1705233"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I keep losing my stamina.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1707133"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know, for someone quick<br />to throw hands at a police station,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1710333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan gets winded awfully fast.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1712733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1712734"><P Class="ENUSCC">In fact, that's it. I've had enough of this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1715133"><P Class="ENUSCC">All right, anyone watching who has a medical<br />excuse, you're exempt from this next part.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1719433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1719434"><P Class="ENUSCC">But everyone else, you've been enlisted<br />to take the Alan Wake Fitness Challenge!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1726433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1726434"><P Class="ENUSCC">The way it works is simple.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1728133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Find a flat stretch of ground, or a hill if<br />you really want to, then take off running.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1732766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1732767"><P Class="ENUSCC">Your goal is to sustain that<br />as long as Alan Wake can</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1736266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1736267"><P Class="ENUSCC">before you become too winded and<br />have to stop to catch your breath.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1739433"><P Class="ENUSCC">But how long is that?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1740933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1740934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, let's see.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1742433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1742434"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's going!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1744066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Aaaaand... ten seconds.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1746166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ten seconds before he<br />becomes too winded to run away.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1749433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or maybe nine in some of my<br />tests. It might depend on the slope.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1752833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1752834"><P Class="ENUSCC">If you can run for longer than<br />ten seconds, then congratulations!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1757300"><P Class="ENUSCC">You have passed the Alan<br />Wake Fitness Challenge!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1762200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1762201"><P Class="ENUSCC">[panting]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1767200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1767201"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>Great work, kiddo.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1769816"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="#FFFF00">How about you reward yourself<br />with a coffee and a smoke?</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1775899"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1781840"><P Class="ENUSCC">And remember, this doesn't<br />have to be your top speed.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1784815"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1784816"><P Class="ENUSCC">You can see for yourself<br />how fast Alan is running here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1787815"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1787816"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's a moderately fast run.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1790090"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know how in <i>Grand Theft<br />Auto</i>, if you pop off some shots,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1793066"><P Class="ENUSCC">sometimes people will<br />just book it out of there?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1795290"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, look at that guy!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1796815"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1796816"><P Class="ENUSCC">That looks like a man who<br />does not want to die today!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1800040"><P Class="ENUSCC">That is a full sprint!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1802666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1802667"><P Class="ENUSCC">So yeah, you don't<br />have to go <i>that</i> fast.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1804966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1804967"><P Class="ENUSCC">Just running along.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1806800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1806801"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or if you want to<br />make it more authentic,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1809133"><P Class="ENUSCC">someone can chase you at night<br />with a hatchet or other cutting device.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1812925"><P Class="ENUSCC">Would that improve your times?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1814800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1814801"><P Class="ENUSCC">I bet it might!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1816800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1816801"><P Class="ENUSCC">So yeah, I'm sick of this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1818800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1818801"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan can't run to save his life.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1821250"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now you might be saying,<br />"Well, he's a writer".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1823500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1823501"><P Class="ENUSCC">"You can't expect a writer<br />to be in shape, necessarily."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1826466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1826467"><P Class="ENUSCC">True, but you know how<br />you can look at some people</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1829083"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1829084"><P Class="ENUSCC">and tell if they exercise<br />to some degree or not?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1831966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1831967"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, Alan Wake's<br />body actor is Ilkka Vili.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1835266"><P Class="ENUSCC">And if you look at him, I bet he<br />could run longer than ten seconds.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1839416"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think the problem here<br />is we have the wrong writer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1842116"><P Class="ENUSCC">Instead of Alan Wake, one person who<br />comes to mind is George R.R. Martin.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1846700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1846701"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's overweight, in his seventies,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1849700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1849701"><P Class="ENUSCC">and I think he could do almost<br />everything Alan Wake does.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1852700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1852701"><P Class="ENUSCC">And it would increase the<br />immersion for me significantly.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1855700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1855701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Especially since in 2010, he would<br />have been in his sixties. Even better!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1859700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1859701"><P Class="ENUSCC">So George R.R. Martin can't run for more<br />than ten seconds without getting winded?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1864700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1864701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Sure, I can believe that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1866700"><P Class="ENUSCC">He can't climb up these broken steps here?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1869166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Of course! I wouldn't expect him to.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1871700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1871701"><P Class="ENUSCC">But I bet he <i>could</i> walk<br />casually through the forest,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1875266"><P Class="ENUSCC">point a flashlight at people,<br />and fill them full of lead.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1878341"><P Class="ENUSCC">He might be able to crawl up<br />small ledges or walk across a log.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1882541"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's my problem.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1884041"><P Class="ENUSCC">Not that I have this stamina limitation,<br />but that I keep expecting better.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1888441"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan Wake is acting like a fat<br />old man who doesn't exercise.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1892333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, he does do that<br />high dive into the lake.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1895283"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1895284"><P Class="ENUSCC">I wouldn't expect George to do that,<br />but we still need some more balance.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1899433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, we make it to the kidnapper.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1901183"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's just some yokel, but it turns<br />out he's been fighting for his life, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1905133"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is a really crappy<br />meeting spot for a handoff.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1908633"><P Class="ENUSCC">So you have to work with him to<br />defend yourself against the fallen,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1911933"><P Class="ENUSCC">and you lose your gun during the<br />cutscene, which is probably necessary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1915300"><P Class="ENUSCC">since I don't see why Alan wouldn't<br />shoot him given his temperament.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1918566"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I feel like I was both right and wrong</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1921000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1921001"><P Class="ENUSCC">about contacting the<br />cops over the kidnapping.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1923416"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is not some professional<br />crew taking Alice. It's just some hick.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1927891"><P Class="ENUSCC">The local police could've tracked them<br />back to his place and busted him easily,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1931891"><P Class="ENUSCC">especially if they put a<br />wire on Alan for this meet.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1934966"><P Class="ENUSCC">That said, that wouldn't have worked,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1937016"><P Class="ENUSCC">because the Taken would've swarmed<br />everyone and no doubt killed all the cops.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1940916"><P Class="ENUSCC">So this is going to turn<br />out the same either way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1943816"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1943817"><P Class="ENUSCC">And this escalates, turning<br />the game into a wave shooter.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1947401"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1947666"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah... I don't know.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1949346"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1949516"><P Class="ENUSCC">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1951816"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1951817"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">Where's my wife? </font><br /><font color="#00FFFF">I knew you were going to say that.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1954500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1954501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you're the <i>kidnapper</i>, dumbass!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1956916"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">What the hell are you<br />talking about? Where's Alice?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1959748"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1959749"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">I want the entire manuscript,<br />or she's going to suffer <i>bad</i>.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1964748"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1964749"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">You touch her, I'll...</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1966516"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1966517"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ha ha!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1968016"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you really need<br />to build up your stamina</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1970333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1970334"><P Class="ENUSCC">if you're going to keep<br />punching people, Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1972200"><P Class="ENUSCC">Your fists are going to<br />write checks you can't cash.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1975000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1975001"><P Class="ENUSCC">And he gets away.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1976766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1976767"><P Class="ENUSCC">So he wants the manuscript.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1978666"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that's a problem, since we only have<br />pieces of it scattered around the forest.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1982633"><P Class="ENUSCC">So Alan can't deliver on<br />this, even if he wants to.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1985466"><P Class="ENUSCC">He really needs to get the cops involved.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1987550"><P Class="ENUSCC">Another clue!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1989166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1989167"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>I had heard the plane<br />fall. It made no sense.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1992400"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>It was clear that it<br />had just fallen here.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1995108"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1995109"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>It was very old and obviously<br />hadn't flown in decades.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1998566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="1998567"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, we're adding a lot of twists here.<br />I hope we're not entering <i>Lost</i> territory.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2003266"><P Class="ENUSCC">And another clue!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2005166"><P Class="ENUSCC">"The darkness wears her face".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2007300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that has to<br />be the ominous lady.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2009433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, so she's just a<br />manifestation of the darkness.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2012633"><P Class="ENUSCC">That doesn't really answer<br />what the darkness is, though.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2015733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2015734"><P Class="ENUSCC">And a driving sequence!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2017983"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, backing up to Alan's imaginary<br />vehicular manslaughter problem,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2022100"><P Class="ENUSCC">first off, if he was willing<br />to commit some crimes,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2024900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2024901"><P Class="ENUSCC">you might think he could just<br />take the body out of the road,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2027666"><P Class="ENUSCC">take the car to a repair<br />shop, and say he hit a deer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2030800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2030801"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that sounds risky to me, because<br />someone will find the body later,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2034366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2034367"><P Class="ENUSCC">and if the police are diligent,<br />they'll do an investigation</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2037366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2037367"><P Class="ENUSCC">to see if anyone <i>did</i><br />have any fender damage,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2039983"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2039984"><P Class="ENUSCC">then ta-da! Your name comes up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2042366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2042367"><P Class="ENUSCC">You could end up as a prime suspect.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2044566"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now, the <i>better</i> illegal way is that Alan<br />was on an isolated road with no witnesses.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2049800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2049801"><P Class="ENUSCC">So he could take the body, put it in<br />the trunk, go bury it in the woods later,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2054800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2054801"><P Class="ENUSCC">wash out the trunk, <i>then</i> take it to<br />a repair shop and say he hit a deer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2059366"><P Class="ENUSCC">And now he has no suspicion on him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2061441"><P Class="ENUSCC">But here's the thing; he doesn't<br />even need to break the law.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2064933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2064934"><P Class="ENUSCC">The US legal system is so<br />forgiving about this sort of thing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2068933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2068934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Like a driver driving into a<br />sidewalk into a crowd of pedestrians,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2072233"><P Class="ENUSCC">including a lady in a<br />wheelchair. No charges.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2075400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or running a red light, <i>then</i> driving onto<br />the sidewalk and running someone over.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2079700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2079701"><P Class="ENUSCC">No charges.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2080866"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or a garbage truck yielding<br />the right-of-way to a pedestrian,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2084166"><P Class="ENUSCC">then getting impatient and running them<br />over anyway, then fleeing the scene.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2089016"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2089017"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i>And</i> this one was caught on video, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2091666"><P Class="ENUSCC">You guessed it; no charges.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2094066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Even driving with a<br />suspended license, speeding,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2097650"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2097651"><P Class="ENUSCC">AND driving onto the sidewalk,<br />running someone over.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2100516"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, well that one<br />had no charges at first,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2103216"><P Class="ENUSCC">later there <i>were</i><br />charges, but no jail time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2106266"><P Class="ENUSCC">This sort of thing happens a lot.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2108366"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, yeah, those are anecdotes,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2110266"><P Class="ENUSCC">but there's been some statistical<br />analysis that it's absolutely a trend.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2114416"><P Class="ENUSCC">So even if Alan was a nobody,<br />and in the wrong with his driving,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2119166"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'd say his odds are more than good<br />for him walking from hitting a pedestrian.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2123633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2123634"><P Class="ENUSCC">But compound that with him not being<br />at fault, and being a famous celebrity?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2128500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2128501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Forget about it. He punched a doctor<br />in front of multiple cops and walked out.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2133733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2133734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan can run over anyone he wants to on an<br />isolated road and not face any consequences.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2139200"><P Class="ENUSCC">So that's one fear<br />he can put to rest.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2142075"><P Class="ENUSCC">A boss battle with a<br />bunch of crows is not.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2145050"><P Class="ENUSCC">The crows are pretty annoying.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2146900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2146901"><P Class="ENUSCC">It was way more fun<br />shooting people in the woods.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2149900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2149901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, morning comes, and Alan thinks<br />since he doesn't have all the pages,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2153900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2153901"><P Class="ENUSCC">he'll just write some new<br />ones. Good reasoning.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2156925"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, time to write. Time to write.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2159900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2159901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ah! My eyes! It hurts! Make it stop! Ah!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2165901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Being a writer's hard.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2168150"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, never fear. Rose from the<br />diner--remember, the superfan?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2172566"><P Class="ENUSCC">She calls Barry and says she has the<br />missing pages and is not on drugs at all.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2176900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2176901"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>I found Mr. Wake's pages.</i></font><br /><font color="#00FF00">Oh...</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2179885"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yep, the darkness<br />has her too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2182900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2182901"><P Class="ENUSCC">And another end-of-the-episode.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2185300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now this time, I do like<br />the song they have here,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2187950"><P Class="ENUSCC">but again, I'm not going to sit and<br />stare at a title slide just to hear it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2192200"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, let's go to the trailer park.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2194550"><P Class="ENUSCC">And now we're back to <i>Twin Peaks,</i> and<br />honestly, this is what I wanted more of.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2199150"><P Class="ENUSCC">Talking to the locals, taking in<br />the atmosphere during the day,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2202766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2202767"><P Class="ENUSCC">building our mystery.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2204150"><P Class="ENUSCC">And you can tell the game was expecting me<br />to use an analog stick here following along,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2209100"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it's short-lived<br />as we say hi to Rose,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2212050"><P Class="ENUSCC">she confesses she was<br />bluffing about the pages,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2214716"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2214717"><P Class="ENUSCC">and whoops, the<br />coffee was drugged.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2216900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2216901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Night, Barry.<br /><font color="#FFFF00">Barry!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2218900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2218901"><P Class="ENUSCC">And it's night again. Okay.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2221900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2221901"><P Class="ENUSCC">IT'S THE FUZZ!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2223900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2224650"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">This is Agent Nightingale, FBI! Get<br />'em up, Hemingway! You're under arrest!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2229762"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2229763"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">You move a muscle, I'll unload<br />right in your goddamn face!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2233588"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">Stay right where<br />you are, little a--!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2236150"><P Class="ENUSCC">Wow. Now, I'm not saying cops wouldn't<br />do this, necessarily, but that <i>is</i> illegal.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2241900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2241901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan is unarmed and not posing<br />immediate danger to anyone.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2245533"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're not supposed to<br />use deadly force on him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2248200"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">I'm standing right here,<br />you goddamn maniac!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2251200"><P Class="ENUSCC">YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME<br />LIKE THAT! I'M THE LAW!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2254100"><P Class="ENUSCC">Good thing Alan is impulsive enough<br />to run and keep our story interesting.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2257733"><P Class="ENUSCC">I wouldn't have run if five<br />cops had guns drawn on me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2260732"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2260733"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan says he's running because he wants<br />to make his rendezvous with our kidnapper.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2264533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2264534"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you remember him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2266366"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm sure that's going to go well,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2268016"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2268017"><P Class="ENUSCC">especially since Alan doesn't have the full<br />manuscript because he was drugged all day.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2272116"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, the kidnapper<br />gave us a callback earlier</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2274155"><P Class="ENUSCC">and wants the manuscript<br />tomorrow at noon.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2276500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2276501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan was actually<br />honest with him,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2278083"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2278084"><P Class="ENUSCC">and said he didn't have the ending<br />ready and would have to write it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2281116"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan asked for a week, the kidnapper<br />only gave him a day and a half.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2284916"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2284917"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, really, Alan just needs a<br />typewriter or a computer and printer</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2288166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2288167"><P Class="ENUSCC">and he could write<br /><i>something</i> by noon.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2290316"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hell, I could finish "a story" by tomorrow.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2293533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2293534"><P Class="ENUSCC">The ransom didn't say that it had to<br />be good, just that it had to be finished.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2297166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, believe it or not, I think Alan<br />may have taken that approach.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2300783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2300784"><P Class="ENUSCC">We'll come back to that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2302116"><P Class="ENUSCC">As you can see, there's<br />a manhunt for him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2304400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2304401"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though I don't know why,<br />especially since Nightingale is FBI.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2308166"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess a security cam must have<br />caught him gunning down someone</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2311241"><P Class="ENUSCC">and then they looked at how<br />many people are missing</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2313282"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2313291"><P Class="ENUSCC">and between me and the darkness<br />taking all those other campers,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2316633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2316634"><P Class="ENUSCC">it's probably over a hundred dead by now.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2319016"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2319017"><P Class="ENUSCC">And they think it's all me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2320533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2320534"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, I could see local<br />police working with the feds</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2323108"><P Class="ENUSCC">for a spree killer who<br />took out a hundred people.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2325533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2325534"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that number is<br />about to get higher.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2328533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2329533"><P Class="ENUSCC">OH!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2330733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2330734"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, that's the nice thing about when sinister<br />forces pursuing you aren't all in your head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2335212"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then they become other<br />people's problems, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2337666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2337667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hey guys, what's going on?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2339666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2339667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Did you find something?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2341347"><P Class="ENUSCC">[snarls, screams]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2344000"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, sounds like you did.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2346100"><P Class="ENUSCC">An FBI chopper shooting at me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2349175"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'M STILL UNARMED, ASSHOLES!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2351400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, see, this is above-average<br />aggression for law enforcement.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2355000"><P Class="ENUSCC">This makes me think<br />someone at the FBI</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2357000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2357001"><P Class="ENUSCC">needs me to take the fall for something<br />they can't explain, like the Taken.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2360566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2360567"><P Class="ENUSCC">And that all goes smoother<br />if I'm in the morgue</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2362900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2362901"><P Class="ENUSCC">than if I can give<br />statements to reporters.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2365333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, those birds suck, don't they?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2367933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2367934"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't like 'em either.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2370333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2370334"><P Class="ENUSCC">OH!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2371534"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2372800"><P Class="ENUSCC">OHH!!!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2374000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2375334"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, now things are nice and quiet.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2377433"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is seriously going to bring in<br />the National Guard or something.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2380833"><P Class="ENUSCC">I counted at least ten officers killed,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2383332"><P Class="ENUSCC">three squad cars wrecked,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2384932"><P Class="ENUSCC">and of course the FBI chopper.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2386882"><P Class="ENUSCC">The thing about killing cops<br />is they just send in more cops.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2390932"><P Class="ENUSCC">On the plus side, if you live through this,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2392832"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2392833"><P Class="ENUSCC">this is <i>absolutely</i> going to<br />help your book sales, Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2396332"><P Class="ENUSCC">The radio station!<br />Maybe I can get some help.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2399432"><P Class="ENUSCC">IT'S THE FUZZ!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2401332"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Cool your jets,<br />Nightingale. We got him.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2404733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2404734"><P Class="ENUSCC">NO!<br /><font color="#FFA500"><i>Judas Priest!</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2407674"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2407675"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">What the hell's the matter with<br />you? There's a civilian in there!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2410677"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2410678"><P Class="ENUSCC">I ALWAYS get my man!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2413166"><P Class="ENUSCC">I know almost nothing about him,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2415116"><P Class="ENUSCC">but Agent Nightingale might be<br />my favorite character in this so far.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2418666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2418667"><P Class="ENUSCC">I find as I get older, I dislike<br />passive-aggressive behavior even more,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2422833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2422834"><P Class="ENUSCC">and <i>boy</i>, there is<br />NOTHING passive about him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2426133"><P Class="ENUSCC">He's just there to<br />shoot you in the head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2428533"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's too bad we don't get<br />to know more about him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2430533"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, Nightingale is acting like<br />his wife left him earlier this morning.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2434333"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's obviously a lot of motivation going<br />on with him, but we have zero context.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2438933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2438934"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's kind of my problem<br />with the game as a whole.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2441283"><P Class="ENUSCC">For a mystery thriller?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2443083"><P Class="ENUSCC">We're lucky to get 30 seconds<br />of character development,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2445933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2445934"><P Class="ENUSCC">then BAM, it's back to gunning<br />down people in the forest.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2449083"><P Class="ENUSCC">And the thing is, a game about<br />gunning down people in the forest</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2451900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2451901"><P Class="ENUSCC">doesn't <i>need</i> more story than that.<br />But a <i>mystery</i> kind of does.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2456658"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, back to gunning<br />down people in the forest,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2459400"><P Class="ENUSCC">you're killing a lot of<br />law enforcement now.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2461933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2461934"><P Class="ENUSCC">Granted, they're only from<br />various sheriff's departments,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2464666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2464667"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I'm not sure<br />what the protocol is</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2466483"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2466484"><P Class="ENUSCC">if <i>dozens and dozens</i> of law<br />enforcement go missing all at once</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2470566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2470567"><P Class="ENUSCC">in a manhunt with lots of gunshots heard.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2473300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2473301"><P Class="ENUSCC">Plus, there is that FBI<br />chopper, so, hmm.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2476833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2476834"><P Class="ENUSCC">And the game adds<br />in a new enemy type.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2478983"><P Class="ENUSCC">Heavy objects possessed by the<br />darkness that fling themselves at you.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2482833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2482834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh, gameplay-wise, this<br />is just mildly annoying.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2486283"><P Class="ENUSCC">But more importantly, I<br />don't find this that scary.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2489133"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, yeah, if a steel beam was headed<br />for my head in reality, that would be scary.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2493466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2493467"><P Class="ENUSCC">But in terms of spookiness, flying<br />objects are kind of bottom-tier.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2497266"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's a different problem<br />I have with the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2499533"><P Class="ENUSCC">As we have all this mystery and intrigue<br />and wandering around the forest at night,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2503966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2503967"><P Class="ENUSCC">and the game's obviously<br /><i>trying</i> to be scary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2506633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2506634"><P Class="ENUSCC">and maybe I'm just too<br />jaded, but it's largely not.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2509966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2509967"><P Class="ENUSCC">So I'm wondering, why is that?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2512266"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now my first thought on this<br />was, your defenses are too good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2515700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2515701"><P Class="ENUSCC">You have buckets of ammo, a flashlight,<br />you're ready for whatever comes at you.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2519966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2519967"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mentioned classic <i>Resident Evil</i> earlier,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2522466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2522467"><P Class="ENUSCC">those <i>are</i> scary, and part of the reason<br />is because you barely have enough ammo.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2527100"><P Class="ENUSCC">It keeps the tension high.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2528950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2528951"><P Class="ENUSCC">But Alan Wake is clearly<br />an action-shooter also.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2532200"><P Class="ENUSCC">So is that the problem?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2533600"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh... I think that makes<br />it harder to be scarier,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2536500"><P Class="ENUSCC">but no, I don't think<br />that's the core problem.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2538974"><P Class="ENUSCC">Because take<br /><i>F.E.A.R.</i>, or <i>DOOM 3</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2541833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2541834"><P Class="ENUSCC">or playing Marines in some of<br />the <i>Aliens vs. Predator</i> games.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2545624"><P Class="ENUSCC">Those are games where you have<br />plenty of ammo, good weapons,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2548966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2548967"><P Class="ENUSCC">lots of action, flashlights,<br />and they're all kind of scary.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2553474"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now they DO rely on<br />some jump scares,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2555933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2555934"><P Class="ENUSCC">but they're still creepy even<br />when they're not doing that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2558833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2558834"><P Class="ENUSCC">So I'm wracking my brain,<br />what's missing from Alan Wake?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2562666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2562667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, I don't have<br />the full answer,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2564666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2564667"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I think part of it is the<br />lighting and sound design.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2567666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2567667"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game largely has lighting like<br />it's a bright night with no light pollution,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2571466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2571467"><P Class="ENUSCC">so you can see a lot.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2573133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2573134"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now this looks nice, and it's<br />atmospheric, but darker is scarier.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2577933"><P Class="ENUSCC">And the music... eh, we'll get to<br />that, but it could be scarier, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2582532"><P Class="ENUSCC">I unfortunately don't have the answer to<br />what makes the game scary, only clues.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2587366"><P Class="ENUSCC">But I will show you what I think<br />the scariest part of the game is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2591933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2591934"><P Class="ENUSCC">You ready? Okay, here it is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2594566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2594567"><P Class="ENUSCC">I found some supplies...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2596600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2596601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Exiting the shack...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2598300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Checking around back...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2599980"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2602500"><P Class="ENUSCC">WHOA! There they are.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2605200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2605201"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, see? No music.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2607166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2607167"><P Class="ENUSCC">I was just looking around, then I<br />heard footsteps running up towards me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2611200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2611201"><P Class="ENUSCC">That was scarier to me than any other<br />scene in this game. Sometimes less is more.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2616800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2616801"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know what would be scary<br />is if you didn't have your gun,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2619100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2619101"><P Class="ENUSCC">and if you were walking in the<br />woods and looked behind you,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2622066"><P Class="ENUSCC">and in the distance someone<br />starts following you?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2624666"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's just not enough subtlety here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2626833"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, next we have a boss battle with<br />waves of guys and a possessed bulldozer.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2631532"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then it's day again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2633082"><P Class="ENUSCC">Here there are no enemies, it's<br />just driving around and exploring.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2636882"><P Class="ENUSCC">I actually really enjoyed this as kind<br />of a cool-down from everything earlier.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2641182"><P Class="ENUSCC">And now's a good time to go<br />back <i>before</i> the beginning.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2645182"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, <i>Alan Wake</i> was probably my<br />most anticipated game to play... of 2005.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2651832"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2651833"><P Class="ENUSCC">It was announced for PC,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2653600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2653601"><P Class="ENUSCC">and was going to be an open-world<br />mystery horror action-adventure game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2657566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2657567"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, this video quality is garbage,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2659566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2659567"><P Class="ENUSCC">but you can see you were going to be able<br />to walk and drive <i>all</i> around Bright Falls.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2664666"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm not sure what game to<br />even compare the concept to.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2667716"><P Class="ENUSCC">Maybe <i>L.A. Noire</i> or<br /><i>Deadly Premonition</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2670950"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2670951"><P Class="ENUSCC">where they're open-world, but the<br />primary focus is an investigation,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2674833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2674834"><P Class="ENUSCC">with the action trying to<br />complement that, not replace it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2678166"><P Class="ENUSCC">But by 2009, Microsoft paid money to <i>stop</i><br /><i>Alan Wake</i> from being released on Windows,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2684141"><P Class="ENUSCC">and become an Xbox exclusive instead,<br />because that's what they used to do.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2689141"><P Class="ENUSCC">And then it turned into the game we<br />have now, where it's completely linear,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2693066"><P Class="ENUSCC">and we get 30 seconds<br />of character development</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2695479"><P Class="ENUSCC">for every half an hour<br />of gunning people down.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2697941"><P Class="ENUSCC">And if we're being real, that might have been<br />the right choice from a business perspective.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2702891"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2702892"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's a lot easier to sell players,<br />especially Xbox 360 players,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2707700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2707701"><P Class="ENUSCC">on shooting hundreds of guys running at<br />you than some slow-burn grand mystery.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2712800"><P Class="ENUSCC">This reminds me of a Cracked<br />article I saw before critiquing games,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2716300"><P Class="ENUSCC">and while some of these<br />I think are overblown,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2718433"><P Class="ENUSCC">there was one section that<br />always hit home with me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2720954"><P Class="ENUSCC">"Successfully completing those games required<br />me to kill, oh, about 10 million people."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2725904"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2725905"><P Class="ENUSCC">"There was a death on screen<br />almost every 5 seconds."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2728954"><P Class="ENUSCC">"Movies structured this way, 2 minutes<br />of plot and 20 minutes of slaughter,"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2733433"><P Class="ENUSCC">"would be considered grindhouse cheese,<br />direct-to-DVD stuff starring Steven Seagal."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2739154"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now I would say that's not a criticism<br />in itself, but it's all about expectations.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2743904"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2743905"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, I'm guessing what most<br /><i>Alan Wake</i> players wanted</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2747024"><P Class="ENUSCC">was <i>Twin Peaks</i>, but more<br />sinister and dangerous.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2750466"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i>Twin Peaks</i> has its own cult following,<br />so I can't speak for everyone,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2754333"><P Class="ENUSCC">but what I like about it<br />is it has this peaceful,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2756833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2756834"><P Class="ENUSCC">welcoming and scenic<br />atmosphere in the front,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2759600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2759601"><P Class="ENUSCC">and murder, secrets and a portal<br />to another dimension in the back.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2763600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2763601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Add great music, petty crime and just<br />weirdos in general, and it's a great formula.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2769600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2769601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, the reality is most<br />small towns are incredibly boring,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2773533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2773534"><P Class="ENUSCC">so I <i>wish</i> they would be<br />more like <i>Twin Peaks</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2776300"><P Class="ENUSCC">where you're on the cusp of another reality,<br />with people getting stabbed in the meantime.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2780633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2780634"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's so much more interesting,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2782216"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2782217"><P Class="ENUSCC">and I think that's what a lot of people<br />were looking for with Alan Wake.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2785400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now Remedy says they<br />abandoned the open-world idea</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2788033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2788034"><P Class="ENUSCC">because it made the narrative<br />disjointed and not flow well.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2791066"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's disappointing, but it makes sense.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2793566"><P Class="ENUSCC">But then I think they fell<br />back to what they know,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2796083"><P Class="ENUSCC">which is gunning down dudes over<br />and over again, like in <i>Max Payne</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2800533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2800534"><P Class="ENUSCC">And that works<br />great for Max Payne,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2802466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2802467"><P Class="ENUSCC">because you're <i>expecting</i> a film<br />noir equivalent of a John Woo movie.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2806833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2806834"><P Class="ENUSCC">My problem with Alan Wake is<br />I was HOPING for <i>Twin Peaks</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2809966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2809967"><P Class="ENUSCC">but scarier, with<br />maybe more action,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2812300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2812301"><P Class="ENUSCC">and instead we got almost nothing<br /><i>but</i> action, set in <i>Twin Peaks.</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2816400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2816401"><P Class="ENUSCC">It could be I was delusional and<br />Microsoft's involvement didn't matter,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2819833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2819834"><P Class="ENUSCC">and this is always going to happen since<br />that's all Remedy knows, but you never know.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2824833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2824834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, let's talk about the game<br />on its own terms, like the gameplay.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2828833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2828834"><P Class="ENUSCC">The balance here is odd.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2830833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2830834"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm playing on normal, and the<br />vast majority of it is pretty easy.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2834333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Although apparently normal on PC<br />is the same as hard on the Xbox 360.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2839258"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess that makes sense.<br />Thumbsticks really can be a handicap.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2843233"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game absolutely showers you with<br />ammo, batteries, flares, and flashbangs.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2848933"><P Class="ENUSCC">I am WAY overstocked<br />for almost every encounter.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2852466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2852467"><P Class="ENUSCC">Also, your health and batteries slowly<br />regenerate up to a point on <i>top</i> of that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2857366"><P Class="ENUSCC">And on top of <i>that,</i> the game<br />has significant aim assistance.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2861733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2861734"><P Class="ENUSCC">It almost feels like I<br />entered in cheat codes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2864333"><P Class="ENUSCC">There are one or two spots that are maybe<br />medium hard, but they're not long at all.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2868933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2868934"><P Class="ENUSCC">And in rare instances, like<br />escaping from the police,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2872466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2872467"><P Class="ENUSCC">I barely had enough<br />lights to keep me going.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2875083"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's the exception<br />to the rule, though.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2877283"><P Class="ENUSCC">90% or more of the<br />game feels like I could've</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2879433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2879434"><P Class="ENUSCC">set up a side business<br />selling surplus supplies.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2882583"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's really uneven, but<br />maybe the devs knew that,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2885333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2885334"><P Class="ENUSCC">so they skewed it<br />in the right direction.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2887483"><P Class="ENUSCC">If I have to choose, I'll always favor<br />a game being too easy over too hard,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2891933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2891934"><P Class="ENUSCC">and that's what's happening here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2893633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, I looked this part up, since I<br />don't think this reveals any of the story.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2897233"><P Class="ENUSCC">On higher difficulties, all the<br />enemies take more hit points,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2900633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2900634"><P Class="ENUSCC">turning them into bullet sponges.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2902583"><P Class="ENUSCC">Look, someone made a chart.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2904483"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now, I'm not a game designer,<br />but bullet sponges are lame.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2908083"><P Class="ENUSCC">If you're adding bullet sponges<br />to increase the difficulty,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2911183"><P Class="ENUSCC">that says to me it's just a<br />slapped-on afterthought.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2914033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2914034"><P Class="ENUSCC">It always sucks.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2915633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Figure out how many hit points<br />you want enemies to have</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2917900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2917901"><P Class="ENUSCC">in normal difficulty, and stick to it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2920133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2920134"><P Class="ENUSCC">Increasing the difficulty above normal should<br />never result in more hit points for enemies.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2925633"><P Class="ENUSCC">It could result in <i>more</i> enemies, or<br />less ammo, or you taking more damage.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2930900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2930901"><P Class="ENUSCC">But bullet sponges suck. They reduce the<br />immersion and make the game more tedious.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2935500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hell, maybe I <i>would</i> run from the<br />cops if I knew their bullets were weak</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2938900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2938901"><P Class="ENUSCC">and couldn't take me<br />down with one shot,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2940933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2940934"><P Class="ENUSCC">and needed to shoot me at<br />least four to six times first.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2944100"><P Class="ENUSCC">Back to the story, you make it to the meeting<br />point, but the kidnapper doesn't show up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2948300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then calls you, what,<br />eight hours later,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2950566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2950567"><P Class="ENUSCC">saying he changed his mind and wants<br />you to hike up a nearby mountain instead?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2954233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2954234"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, because meeting at night<br />worked out so well last time!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2957900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2957901"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, this is so amateur. This guy is<br /><i>begging</i> to have the police involved.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2962250"><P Class="ENUSCC">So we gun our way<br />through the mining facility,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2964805"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2964806"><P Class="ENUSCC">through the mines, hike<br />our way up the mountain...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2968400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Whoa, WHOA!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2969900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2969901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Whoa, whoa...</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2972000"><P Class="ENUSCC">And we finally make it<br />close to the kidnapper,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2973971"><P Class="ENUSCC">but he starts screaming<br />before we get to him,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2976433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2976434"><P Class="ENUSCC">saying he doesn't have Alice,<br />she's probably drowned.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2979400"><P Class="ENUSCC">It sounds like he's apologizing<br />to the ominous lady,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2982050"><P Class="ENUSCC">saying the boss didn't realize<br />who he was messing with.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2984900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2984901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Who's the boss?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2986400"><P Class="ENUSCC">How do you have Alice's driver's<br />license if he doesn't know where she is?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2989950"><P Class="ENUSCC">This guy is just no help at all.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2991900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2992250"><P Class="ENUSCC">*bidibip!*</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2993450"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2995066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Whoa, whoa, WHOA!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="2998399"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3002000"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alright, yeah, George R. R.<br />Martin definitely couldn't survive this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3006225"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though I don't think<br />Alan can either.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3008500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3008501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Nah, I think that<br />would break his neck.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3011050"><P Class="ENUSCC">But nothing matters, because<br />it's all made up, I guess.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3013950"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan, wake up! You're in a<br />mental health asylum lodge.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3017901"><P Class="ENUSCC">The doctor is trying to convince<br />you everything was all made up,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3020700"><P Class="ENUSCC">and you should really just<br />write more of your manuscript.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3023300"><P Class="ENUSCC">Why does everyone want<br />this manuscript so much?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3026325"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, time to write, time to write.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3028900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3028901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ungh... urgh... aah... aaargh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3032933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3032934"><P Class="ENUSCC">MY HANDS! IT HURTS!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3036000"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know, if Alan's having writer's<br />block, I've heard of a cure for it before.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3039900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3039901"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm sure it goes back<br />hundreds of years,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3041866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3041867"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I saw it documented<br />in a comic by the Oatmeal.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3044900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3044901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Step 1, hate yourself.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3046900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3046901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Step 2, drink.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3048650"><P Class="ENUSCC">Step 3, just keep doing that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3050950"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, maybe that's the problem. I haven't<br />seen Alan take one drink this whole game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3055325"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now as far as hating himself, it's hard<br />to say. I feel like he's halfway there.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3059900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3059901"><P Class="ENUSCC">He seems to resent<br />his fans and readers,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3062333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3062334"><P Class="ENUSCC">so that's probably a sign<br />he's on the right path.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3064633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3064634"><P Class="ENUSCC">He probably just<br />needs more of a nudge.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3066783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3066784"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, he finds a gun and flashlight,<br />and wouldn't you know it,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3069833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3069834"><P Class="ENUSCC">the darkness is back to its old tricks.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3072233"><P Class="ENUSCC">It claims the doctor, then it's just<br />gunning and running for hours again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3076783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3076784"><P Class="ENUSCC">That takes us through a hedge maze.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3078783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3078784"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I guess this is a<br />cliche, but it's a good one.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3081783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3081784"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is the perfect spot for one of the Taken<br />to burst through the maze with a chainsaw.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3085958"><P Class="ENUSCC">That doesn't happen, but come on.<br />This would've been the perfect spot for one.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3090083"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, and that reminds me.<br />Remember that line at the start?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3093783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3093784"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i><font color="#FFFF00">In a horror story, the<br />victim keeps asking why,</font></i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3096783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3096784"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>but there can be no explanation,<br />and there shouldn't be one.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3099729"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3099730"><P Class="ENUSCC">I wanted to come back to that. First off,<br />yes, some mysteries should not be answered.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3104933"><P Class="ENUSCC">That was my main gripe with<br /><i>Puzzle Agent 2</i>, if you recall.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3107883"><P Class="ENUSCC">But it's a tricky balance when<br />you try to write a mystery that way,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3111133"><P Class="ENUSCC">because the mystery by its<br />nature kind of demands answers.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3114500"><P Class="ENUSCC">So you have to figure out which questions<br />are satisfying to answer and which are not.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3118783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3118784"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i>Puzzle Agent 1</i> did a fantastic job of that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3121783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3121784"><P Class="ENUSCC">But back to chainsaws.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3123400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3123401"><P Class="ENUSCC">The opening is implying that it's important<br />for horror to not explain everything,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3126833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3126834"><P Class="ENUSCC">because that's what stays with<br />us. Like that's some sort of fact.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3130333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, sometimes. But what about<br /><i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</i>?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3134233"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's not a lot of mystery in that<br />movie. It's relatively cut and dried.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3138566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3138567"><P Class="ENUSCC">Some travelers stumble upon some<br />crazy hillbillies, and they try to kill them.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3142300"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, yeah, there's<br />some mystery at first,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3144266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3144267"><P Class="ENUSCC">in that the travelers don't<br />know what's in store for them,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3146900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3146901"><P Class="ENUSCC">but by the end of the movie,<br />there's no real mystery.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3149250"><P Class="ENUSCC">The explanation was some crazy hillbillies<br />kill everyone that comes near them.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3153200"><P Class="ENUSCC">And yet, that does not lessen<br />the impact of the movie at all.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3156666"><P Class="ENUSCC">[chainsaw roaring}</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3160533"><P Class="ENUSCC">Anyway, I'm being nitpicky,<br />but it can bug me sometimes</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3163433"><P Class="ENUSCC">when people make definitive statements<br />like something is the absolute truth.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3167366"><P Class="ENUSCC">You know, like the very start of this<br />game, when they're only sometimes true.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3172466"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh look, it's Barry. Why not?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3175041"><P Class="ENUSCC">He rescues you, but<br />he's a crappy driver,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3177100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3177101"><P Class="ENUSCC">so you fall off the road and are in the<br />woods again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3179600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3179601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh, what's this? Another clue!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3182941"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>If I continue like the Dark Presence wants me<br />to, the story I'm writing won't save Alice.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3187941"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3187942"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>It's a horror story, and it's going to kill<br />her, and me, and everybody in this town.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3192666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3192667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>No one will survive.<br />Darkness will consume everything.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3195666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3195667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>This is what it's wanted all along.<br />I've written myself into the story.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3200666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3200667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>I'm now the protagonist.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3202266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3202267"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>This feels like a terrible risk, but<br />it's the only way to save Alice.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3205866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3205867"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>I'll be bound by the<br />events of the story</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3207900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3207901"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>just as much as anyone<br />else who's been woven into it.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3210666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3210667"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>The story must stay true for this to work.<br />There have to be victims along the way.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3214333"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>Near escapes, cliffhangers.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3216433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3216434"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>In a horror story, it can't be certain that<br />the hero will succeed, or even survive.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3220332"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3220333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ohhhhhhh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3222833"><P Class="ENUSCC">Good God, maybe I missed<br />this the first time I played.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3226483"><P Class="ENUSCC">This clicked in more for the plot than maybe<br />the past two or three hours of the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3230666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3230667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that clears some<br />things up. Maybe?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3233916"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3233917"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, that answers<br />one of my big questions,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3236500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3236501"><P Class="ENUSCC">which is why is the darkness<br />constantly trying to kill Alan</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3240000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3240001"><P Class="ENUSCC">when it wants him to write the<br />manuscript? Those seem at odds.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3243466"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think the answer to that, and<br />maybe many other questions,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3246933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3246934"><P Class="ENUSCC">is because Alan wrote it that way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3249033"><P Class="ENUSCC">So he's having some <i>Inception</i> experience<br />by living in his own novel. I think?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3254133"><P Class="ENUSCC">So wait, does that mean we're on a<br />sublevel of reality inside Alan's story?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3258500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3258501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or did his story change<br />the current reality?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3261133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Is any of this real, then?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3262983"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3262984"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think the darkness kind of has to<br />be, because none of this happens</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3266166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3266167"><P Class="ENUSCC">in the first place without some<br />supernatural hijinks going on.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3269433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Without the darkness, Alan would still<br />be back at his cabin yelling at his wife.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3273483"><P Class="ENUSCC">But okay, if he had to escape the<br />darkness by writing his way out of it,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3277483"><P Class="ENUSCC">it begs the question of why didn't he<br />"write the darkness suddenly went away,"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3281166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3281167"><P Class="ENUSCC">"and bunnies began hopping around and<br />everyone started giving him high fives"?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3285133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Seems like that would be a lot<br />easier. So what did Alan write?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3288600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3288601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, we can find out, actually.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3290600"><P Class="ENUSCC">All those manuscript pages we've<br />been collecting around the forest?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3293616"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3293617"><P Class="ENUSCC">You can read them!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3294966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3294967"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now, I don't have all of them,<br />but I got most, and I was thinking,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3298033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3298034"><P Class="ENUSCC">"Oh, maybe this story is a bit<br />like an alternate reality game,"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3301733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3301734"><P Class="ENUSCC">"where you have to read what<br />Alan wrote to get the full picture."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3304600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3304601"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mentioned before how <i>Rama</i> the game<br />and <i>Rama 2</i> the book are a little like that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3309400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3309401"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're very complementary<br />to each other.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3311550"><P Class="ENUSCC">Nope. There's barely any information here<br />you don't get just from playing the game,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3316400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3316401"><P Class="ENUSCC">and almost every page is just Alan<br />describing exactly what happened,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3320066"><P Class="ENUSCC">often without any context to<br />the page that came before it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3323316"><P Class="ENUSCC">So Alan's story is him writing, "And<br />then there was a guy with a chainsaw!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3327600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3327601"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then some<br />pipe flew at me!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3330066"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then some<br />bulldozer chased me!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3332766"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, sure, Alan<br />gives it some more flair,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3335233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3335234"><P Class="ENUSCC">but this structure is like middle-<br />or even elementary-school level.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3339566"><P Class="ENUSCC">It doesn't matter now<br />since it was all a ruse,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3342133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3342134"><P Class="ENUSCC">but Alan could have easily met<br />the kidnapper's deadline earlier</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3345266"><P Class="ENUSCC">and finished the manuscript<br />in time if this is all it was.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3348266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3348267"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hell, <i>I</i> could have written this!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3350316"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then I went<br />to the gas station!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3353150"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then I had<br />some beef jerky!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3356086"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3356087"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then I drove around<br />looking for buried treasure,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3359016"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3359017"><P Class="ENUSCC">"but all I found<br />were more batteries!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3361246"><P Class="ENUSCC">Easy. I could have had<br />that manuscript by tomorrow.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3364366"><P Class="ENUSCC">I wonder if Alan's other<br />books are written this way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3367416"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're crime detective<br />novels about Alex Casey,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3370200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3370201"><P Class="ENUSCC">which is a spoof on <i>Max<br />Payne</i>, best I can tell.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3373100"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then Alex<br />kicked in the door!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3375600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3375601"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then Alex shot<br />a bunch of bad guys!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3378400"><P Class="ENUSCC">"And then there<br />was a car chase!"</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3380866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3380867"><P Class="ENUSCC">If so, I might be starting to<br />understand Alan's resentment</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3384233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3384234"><P Class="ENUSCC">towards his readers if<br />they're eating that up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3386929"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3386930"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, we'll come back to the<br />darkness, but first we run to a farm,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3390179"><P Class="ENUSCC">meet up with Barry, and are on the property<br />of the washed-up rockers from earlier,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3394633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3394634"><P Class="ENUSCC">and one of their songs starts playing<br />on stage with fireworks going off.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3398500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, see, this is another example of<br />the game sacrificing one mood for another.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3403225"><P Class="ENUSCC">In a normal action-adventure,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3405300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3405301"><P Class="ENUSCC">having some shootout climax while a<br />pseudo-rock concert is going on is fine.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3409766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3409767"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's a little goofy, but it<br />can work for that genre.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3412600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3412601"><P Class="ENUSCC">But since this is supposed<br />to be survival horror,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3415466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3415467"><P Class="ENUSCC">the player is supposed<br />to be on edge and scared.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3418700"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, this just trivializes<br />the Taken as a threat,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3422000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3422001"><P Class="ENUSCC">making everything<br />look fun and stylish.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3424533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3424534"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's different from comic<br />relief. Barry's comic relief.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3428133"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is making fun of the threat itself.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3430784"><P Class="ENUSCC">If you're doing that, what are you<br />supposed to be scared of, then?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3433833"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, I guess I wasn't getting scared<br />prior to this, so there's not much loss,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3438700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3438701"><P Class="ENUSCC">but this is putting nails<br />in the coffin for me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3441266"><P Class="ENUSCC">Um... let's talk about the music.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3443891"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3443892"><P Class="ENUSCC">The music in Alan Wake<br />is a little complicated.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3446400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3446401"><P Class="ENUSCC">It can be divided into<br />three or four categories.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3449200"><P Class="ENUSCC">There were one or two band<br />tracks created for the game,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3451700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3451701"><P Class="ENUSCC">like the one for this concert,<br />and yeah, it sounds alright.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3455500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3455501"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's the usage I have an<br />issue with, not the song.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3458634"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3458635"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's music you hear on the radio,<br />which sounded like some of it was good,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3462867"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3462868"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it never stuck around<br />for more than ten seconds,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3465166"><P Class="ENUSCC">since that would bring the<br />game to a halt otherwise.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3467633"><P Class="ENUSCC">Same goes for the music<br />at the end of the episodes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3470400"><P Class="ENUSCC">You have to stop everything<br />you're doing to listen to it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3473200"><P Class="ENUSCC">So if you just play the game normally,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3475200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3475201"><P Class="ENUSCC">and not stop and do nothing for<br />five minutes when a track is playing,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3479050"><P Class="ENUSCC">you might be missing half<br />the music in the game. I am.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3482700"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now both the radio and episode<br />music are record label music,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3485900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3485901"><P Class="ENUSCC">which were on a temporary license,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3488100"><P Class="ENUSCC">hence why the game<br />got delisted back in 2017.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3491550"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though I guess they were able<br />to work out the issues for now</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3494100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3494101"><P Class="ENUSCC">and brought most of the music back.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3495733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3495734"><P Class="ENUSCC">I've seen some people say the<br />game has a great soundtrack.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3498966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3498967"><P Class="ENUSCC">They're probably talking<br />about the record label music.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3501650"><P Class="ENUSCC">I kind of consider that<br />cheating for a soundtrack,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3504067"><P Class="ENUSCC">since that's not<br />composing anything new.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3506150"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's just a playlist<br />of existing music.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3508700"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, on that note, there's also the<br />musical score composed for the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3513000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3513001"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess first the positive.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3514633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3514634"><P Class="ENUSCC">There are a few<br />good themes in here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3516633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3516634"><P Class="ENUSCC">I like how the menu music<br />starts out mysteriously.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3519633"><P Class="ENUSCC">[haunting ambience]<br />["Alan Wake" by Petri Alanko]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3524332"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3524333"><P Class="ENUSCC">The Bright Falls theme is good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3526633"><P Class="ENUSCC">[soaring strings]<br />["Welcome to Bright Falls" by Petri Alanko]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3533933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3533950"><P Class="ENUSCC">The flashback music is good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3536233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3537599"><P Class="ENUSCC">[mournful piano]<br />["Vacation" by Petri Alanko]</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3545849"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3545850"><P Class="ENUSCC">But a lot of the music is semi-generic.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3549033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3549058"><P Class="ENUSCC">Moreover, let's not forget the game<br />is competing against <i>Twin Peaks</i> here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3553283"><P Class="ENUSCC">And no, this doesn't approach<br /><i>Twin Peaks</i> synth symphony quality.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3557766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3557767"><P Class="ENUSCC">You can't expect people <i>not</i> to compare<br />the soundtrack to <i>Twin Peaks</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3561200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3561201"><P Class="ENUSCC">when it's dropping so many references.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3563166"><P Class="ENUSCC">But the bigger problem is the generic-ish<br />music in the woods isn't very scary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3567966"><P Class="ENUSCC">which I think undercuts<br />a lot of the fear factor.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3570766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3570767"><P Class="ENUSCC">Plus <i>this</i> theme.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3572291"><P Class="ENUSCC">You're going to hear this theme<br />over and over and over again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3576791"><P Class="ENUSCC">It got to the point where I was<br />considering turning the music off entirely,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3580766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3580767"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I didn't want to miss the original<br />tracks for events later in the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3584366"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's actually a common problem in games,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3586566"><P Class="ENUSCC">where they compose the music like<br />it's for a movie, but they're games.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3590565"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3590566"><P Class="ENUSCC">So by playing the game<br />like a normal person,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3592966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3592967"><P Class="ENUSCC">some music tracks you'll hear once,<br />others you'll hear over a hundred times.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3597565"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3597566"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or in the case of Alan Wake, half of them<br />you'll only hear the first ten seconds of.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3602666"><P Class="ENUSCC">So it's not awful,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3603933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3603934"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I'm not as impressed by the<br />soundtrack as the rest of the internet.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3607341"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think it's serviceable, but this<br />is a game that called for more.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3611166"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well after the concert, Alan<br />and Barry decide that despite</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3614104"><P Class="ENUSCC">killing a hundred more locals<br />in the immediate vicinity,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3617116"><P Class="ENUSCC">it's safe enough to crash<br />at the nearby house.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3619941"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3619942"><P Class="ENUSCC">They get drunk first, too.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3621991"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">I'm a writer, goddammit.</font><br /><font color="#00FF00">Correct!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3625025"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">If I just wanted to, I could<br />write ten books a year,</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3628933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3628934"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00">and they'd be the<br />best books that year.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3631233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3631234"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hey, there we go!<br />Respect the confidence!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3634900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3634901"><P Class="ENUSCC">It looks like that<br />comic was right!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3636900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3636901"><P Class="ENUSCC">So I guess the trip worked!<br />You solved your writer's block, Alan!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3640900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3640901"><P Class="ENUSCC">And they go to sleep, even<br />though I really can't emphasize</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3643611"><P Class="ENUSCC">how many guys we killed<br />just ten minutes earlier.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3646700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3646701"><P Class="ENUSCC">But good thing for us, he dreams about the<br />plot and remembers everything that happened.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3650700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3650701"><P Class="ENUSCC">He came out of the water and the<br />darkness halfway infected Alan,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3654300"><P Class="ENUSCC">leaving him in a trance and<br />telling him to write the manuscript.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3657566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3657567"><P Class="ENUSCC">Best I can tell, the darkness can<br />change reality, but not much on its own.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3661900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3661901"><P Class="ENUSCC">It needs a writer or<br />creative person to do so.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3664900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3664901"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't think the darkness<br />actually cares about the story,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3667633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3667634"><P Class="ENUSCC">as long as it ends with "the<br />darkness takes over everything".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3670800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3670801"><P Class="ENUSCC">But Alan was in a haze and managed<br />to write the escape for himself</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3673800"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3673801"><P Class="ENUSCC">with the help of another writer<br />from the 70s, Thomas Zane,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3677166"><P Class="ENUSCC">that's also trapped in the darkness, but I<br />guess he's okay because he has a diving suit.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3681866"><P Class="ENUSCC">So he comes in and<br />says "I've got this, bro."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3684133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan escapes, still in a haze,<br />then gets in the car wreck.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3688108"><P Class="ENUSCC">Meanwhile, the<br />darkness is so pissed,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3690166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3690167"><P Class="ENUSCC">it drags Zane down and<br />erases the island entirely.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3693358"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then that brings us to Alan waking up.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3695633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3695634"><P Class="ENUSCC">So a few things going on here. I see<br />why I was confused the first time around.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3700633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3700634"><P Class="ENUSCC">The game <i>is</i> explaining itself, it's<br />just leaving a lot to interpretation.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3705200"><P Class="ENUSCC">This is answering a lot of my list.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3707500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3707501"><P Class="ENUSCC">So all the locals are trying to kill<br />Alan because Alan wrote it that way,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3711366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3711367"><P Class="ENUSCC">to make it more<br />suspenseful, I guess.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3713633"><P Class="ENUSCC">The darkness doesn't really<br />benefit from killing Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3716500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3716501"><P Class="ENUSCC">It wants to take over the world and he's<br />the best chance of making that happen.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3720266"><P Class="ENUSCC">So it's unclear how much<br />agency the darkness has,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3723200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3723201"><P Class="ENUSCC">and how much of it is bound<br />to Alan living his own story.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3726366"><P Class="ENUSCC">It could be the darkness is powerless<br />to impact anything until the story finishes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3731116"><P Class="ENUSCC">But the big question<br />is, what is this?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3733566"><P Class="ENUSCC">Is he inside his novel<br />in a separate reality?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3736633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3736634"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or is this the real world, that the<br />darkness and Alan are reshaping?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3740433"><P Class="ENUSCC">When the island disappeared,<br />nobody had any memory of it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3743633"><P Class="ENUSCC">That implies either the darkness<br />erased it from the timeline itself,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3747058"><P Class="ENUSCC">or we've shifted to an alternate<br />timeline where it does that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3750308"><P Class="ENUSCC">This also answers the question of why Alan<br />couldn't just write a nice and happy outcome.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3754466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3754467"><P Class="ENUSCC">He was barely conscious, it sounds like.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3757000"><P Class="ENUSCC">So this was the best<br />he could come up with.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3759050"><P Class="ENUSCC">It seems like the darkness needed<br />to infect Alan just a little bit.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3762450"><P Class="ENUSCC">Too much and Alan becomes<br />a zombie like the others,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3765200"><P Class="ENUSCC">but not enough and<br />Alan won't cooperate.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3767650"><P Class="ENUSCC">That makes me wonder if he<br />were to start writing more pages</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3770300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3770301"><P Class="ENUSCC">if he would actively<br />change this reality,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3772900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3772901"><P Class="ENUSCC">or if it needs to be one<br />level up for that to work,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3775333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3775334"><P Class="ENUSCC">and he's trapped in<br />what he already wrote.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3777400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now Alan talks about how the<br />story has to follow a certain flow,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3780966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3780967"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I think that's all in his head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3782900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3782901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Best I can tell, it only<br />has to follow that flow</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3785533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3785534"><P Class="ENUSCC">because he <i>thinks</i> it<br />has to follow that flow.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3788275"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm pretty sure he can write whatever<br />he wants, but <i>he</i> doesn't believe that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3792900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3792917"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I guess we'll never know, since Alan keeps<br />having writers block because he's not drinking.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3796950"><P Class="ENUSCC">Your sobriety is causing<br />an existential crisis, Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3800350"><P Class="ENUSCC">And one thing I'm<br />left wondering is</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3801966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3801967"><P Class="ENUSCC">how many people in the story<br />even <i>existed</i> two weeks ago?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3805600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3805601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Did Alan's writing will them into existence?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3808400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or better yet, my first thought<br />was that everyone you encounter</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3811533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3811534"><P Class="ENUSCC">before he dives<br />into the lake is real.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3814100"><P Class="ENUSCC">But, since we saw the island<br />disappearing was retroactive,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3817900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3817901"><P Class="ENUSCC">maybe everyone Alan encounters<br />didn't exist until Alan wrote about them,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3821950"><P Class="ENUSCC">but he sees them <i>before</i> the fact because<br />of how the darkness manipulates time.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3826350"><P Class="ENUSCC">That would actually be a really clever twist.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3829050"><P Class="ENUSCC">But it would be so clever that<br />the game shouldn't bury that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3832250"><P Class="ENUSCC">That should be front and center<br />if that's where they were going.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3835050"><P Class="ENUSCC">Plus, you could do way, <i>way</i> more with that<br />concept if that's what they were going for.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3839900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3839901"><P Class="ENUSCC">Give people a proper head trip.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3842000"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm not sure we have any clues<br />as to what this flavor of reality is,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3845900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3845925"><P Class="ENUSCC">or if the game even knows<br />itself, or wants that established.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3849533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3849534"><P Class="ENUSCC">So this could be a sub-reality,<br />current reality, alternate reality.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3854533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3854534"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm not sure there are<br />any wrong answers now.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3856766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3856767"><P Class="ENUSCC">So yeah, you may as well drink, Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3859016"><P Class="ENUSCC">Hey, look who it is! Our<br />favorite, Agent Nightingale.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3862916"><P Class="ENUSCC">He takes you<br />back to jail! Uh-oh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3866016"><P Class="ENUSCC">But then it goes dark and<br />Alan has another headache.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3868400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3868401"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Wake, what's wrong?</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3869633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3869634"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">Lady, are you stupid? It's<br />a trick! It's an obvious trick!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3873333"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Okay, I've had enough of this crap.<br />Wake, I'm gonna trust you with this.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3877100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3877101"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FFFF">You're joking!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3878133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3878134"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">Agent Nightingale, your opinion<br />would matter more if you were sober...</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3881733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3881734"><P Class="ENUSCC">Uh-oh!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3882783"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#00FF00">...and if I actually believed you<br />were here on official business.</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3885598"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3885599"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFA500">Whoa!</font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3886666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3886667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Do it! Just start<br />shooting, Nightingale.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3889400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3889401"><P Class="ENUSCC">Shooting unarmed suspects in a<br />cell will look great on your report.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3893400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3896333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, so much for his character.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3898333"><P Class="ENUSCC">So much for everybody, really.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3900308"><P Class="ENUSCC">You escape and the game becomes even easier<br />by having the sheriff help you as an NPC,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3904883"><P Class="ENUSCC">whom I think is invincible<br />and has unlimited ammo.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3908083"><P Class="ENUSCC">This leads up to another<br />wave survival segment.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3910983"><P Class="ENUSCC">Quick, get to the chopper!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3912833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3912834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Off to the power plant!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3914383"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh no! The Taken have an RPG!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3916833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3916834"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, birds!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3918183"><P Class="ENUSCC">Bail! Bail!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3919883"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, I think the game has<br />mostly given up on the whole</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3922666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3922667"><P Class="ENUSCC">mystery, suspense and<br />survival horror thing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3925566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3925567"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's some plot<br />development with the lamp lady</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3927500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3927501"><P Class="ENUSCC">being a lover of Zane's from<br />the 70s, but who cares?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3930633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3930634"><P Class="ENUSCC">The time for talking about that<br />was back before it was revealed</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3933300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3933301"><P Class="ENUSCC">that all of reality may be an illusion.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3935766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3935767"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan becomes convinced he needs to<br />head back to the lake to fill it with light,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3939100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3939101"><P Class="ENUSCC">because I guess the<br />sun isn't bright enough.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3941033"><P Class="ENUSCC">And for some reason, everything past<br />this point starts feeling kind of depressing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3945333"><P Class="ENUSCC">In the same way I don't know<br />why the game isn't that scary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3948400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3948401"><P Class="ENUSCC">I don't know why the<br />drive up feels depressing,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3950733"><P Class="ENUSCC">but the rest of the game<br />didn't feel that way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3953066"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess something with the<br />lighting and the framing of all this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3956316"><P Class="ENUSCC">According to the manuscript, the darkness<br />has decided Alan is just a liability now,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3960333"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3960334"><P Class="ENUSCC">and it's better to just kill him.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3961866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3961867"><P Class="ENUSCC">But Alan's the one writing this,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3963616"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3963617"><P Class="ENUSCC">so we don't really know what<br />the truth is until "Departure" is over.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3966866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3966867"><P Class="ENUSCC">It gets more and more gamey, too,<br />with falling train cars, car jumps,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3971466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3971467"><P Class="ENUSCC">a sort of demolition derby in a junkyard<br />with another bulldozer, and a minecart ride.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3976766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3976767"><P Class="ENUSCC">It ends with you confronting the darkness<br />tornado and shooting it with a flare.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3980766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3980767"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then Alan jumps into the lake again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3982916"><P Class="ENUSCC">Sure, why not?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3984766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3984767"><P Class="ENUSCC">From here onward, he kind of enters a<br />dreamlike state with disjointed images</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3988766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3988767"><P Class="ENUSCC">that are mostly just recycled assets<br />and blackness swirling around them.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3992891"><P Class="ENUSCC">And everything still has<br />this depressing vibe.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3995533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3995534"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's really just Alan being<br />disoriented over and over again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3999533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="3999534"><P Class="ENUSCC">He meets his appointed<br />doppelganger, Mr. Scratch,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4002533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4002534"><P Class="ENUSCC">and eventually catches up with the ominous<br />lady and stuffs a light grenade inside her.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4006533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4006534"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, that looks like it did something,<br />but everything is still dark and tinted.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4011233"><P Class="ENUSCC">And then he writes an<br />ending where he saves Alice,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4013883"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4013884"><P Class="ENUSCC">but at the cost of sacrificing<br />himself to the darkness.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4016883"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4017133"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>I knew how to write the<br />ending to "Departure".</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4020033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4020833"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>There's light and<br />there's darkness.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4023183"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>Cause and effect. There's<br />guilt and there's atonement.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4026200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4026201"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>But the scales<br />always need to balance.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4028348"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>Everything has a price. That's<br />where Zane had gone wrong.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4031204"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4031205"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, that's<br />kind of bullshit.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4033200"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, everything<br />needs balance. Fine.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4036000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4036001"><P Class="ENUSCC">Last time I checked, the darkness has already<br />claimed what? 300 people? Maybe more?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4042000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4042001"><P Class="ENUSCC">Seems like that already should more than cover<br />the tab for releasing Alice, but whatever.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4046666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4046667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan's hung up on himself, so<br />he has to do the noble sacrifice.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4050666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4050667"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then we get a flyby of the town,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4052500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4052501"><P Class="ENUSCC">reminding me how this all used to<br />be open world, but I can't explore it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4056433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4056434"><P Class="ENUSCC">And Rose and Nightingale are<br />still infected by the Darkness.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4060210"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4060566"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>It's not a lake.<br />It's an ocean.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4065233"><P Class="ENUSCC">"My God. It's full of stars."</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4068500"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then we get the credits and "Space<br />Oddity" by David Bowie starts playing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4072575"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh, that's pretty lame.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4075500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4075501"><P Class="ENUSCC">This started off so much<br />better than it ended.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4078433"><P Class="ENUSCC">But wait! Once upon a time,<br />when DLC was really taking off,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4082983"><P Class="ENUSCC">there was a joke<br />that, in the future,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4085100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4085101"><P Class="ENUSCC">companies would sell you the game,<br />then sell you the ending as DLC.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4089183"><P Class="ENUSCC">This was literally a joke.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4091300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4091301"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think there was even a<br />webcomic on it, but I couldn't find it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4094333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, you can see<br />where this is going.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4096783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4096784"><P Class="ENUSCC">I imagine this part is probably Microsoft's<br />influence, but that's not the full ending.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4102033"><P Class="ENUSCC">Though it's not<br />obvious in the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4104183"><P Class="ENUSCC">After the credits, you're<br />kicked back to the menu,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4106600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4106601"><P Class="ENUSCC">and if you press continue, you<br />just repeat the final segment.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4109783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4109784"><P Class="ENUSCC">You have to go to "Episodes".</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4111933"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, there we go.<br />The Alan Wake Christmas Special.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4115433"><P Class="ENUSCC">What to say about the DLC?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4117983"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's both more creative<br />and more mundane.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4120783"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4120784"><P Class="ENUSCC">The concept here is Alan is trapped<br />in the darkness <i>and</i> inside his head.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4125083"><P Class="ENUSCC">But the also-trapped Thomas Zane sends<br />you a busted GPS telling you to follow it,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4129600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4129601"><P Class="ENUSCC">but keeps saying you're<br />going the wrong way.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4131700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4131701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now seeing what's<br /><i>inside</i> the darkness</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4133716"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4133717"><P Class="ENUSCC">is a tremendous opportunity<br />for the game to go nuts.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4136767"><P Class="ENUSCC">And it sort of does, in the most pedestrian<br />way possible for this sort of thing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4141400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4141401"><P Class="ENUSCC">Almost everything is a<br />reused asset from earlier,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4144400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4144401"><P Class="ENUSCC">like you're walking through a<br />remix from the original game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4147100"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's just Alan reliving the Taken running<br />at him and hearing his own self-doubt.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4151900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4151901"><P Class="ENUSCC">So if Alan wasn't introspective<br />and ruminating enough already,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4155766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4155767"><P Class="ENUSCC">this throws that<br />all into overdrive.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4157900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4157901"><P Class="ENUSCC">We're not really seeing the darkness.<br />We're looking at a shattered mirror of Alan.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4162900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4162901"><P Class="ENUSCC">I didn't like it. Something about the tone<br />feels more depressing than scary again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4167150"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm here for the frights, mystery,<br />and intrigue, not the depression.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4171250"><P Class="ENUSCC">The TV face is cool<br />though, I'll give them that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4174275"><P Class="ENUSCC">At the end of the first one, you beat the<br />boss, then wake up out of your own mind,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4178466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4178467"><P Class="ENUSCC">but are still stuck in the cabin in the<br />darkness at the bottom of the lake.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4181933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4181958"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then the next DLC acts like<br />the first ending never happened,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4185100"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4185101"><P Class="ENUSCC">and you have to break<br />out of your mind again.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4187383"><P Class="ENUSCC">Like the previous one, it's 90% reused<br />assets with self-reflection and brooding,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4192133"><P Class="ENUSCC">just with a lot more<br />things floating in space,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4194250"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4194251"><P Class="ENUSCC">and more platforming than<br />the entire rest of the game.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4196933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4196934"><P Class="ENUSCC">I wouldn't call this<br />an improvement.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4199158"><P Class="ENUSCC">Then you defeat another boss,<br />wake up in the cabin, again,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4203458"><P Class="ENUSCC">except this time you're going to write<br />a new novel to make your way out.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4207208"><P Class="ENUSCC">Eh, I guess that's a little better.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4209383"><P Class="ENUSCC">For all I know, they<br />had a third DLC planned</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4211733"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4211734"><P Class="ENUSCC">where Alan is trapped in his own<br />head to wake up in the cabin <i>again</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4215383"><P Class="ENUSCC">That's where it felt<br />like this was going.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4217383"><P Class="ENUSCC">Not exactly hell, but<br />purgatory for sure.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4220600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4220601"><P Class="ENUSCC">And two years later, we got... I don't<br />know, I wouldn't call it a full game,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4225166"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4225167"><P Class="ENUSCC">more like a standalone DLC,<br /><i>Alan Wake's American Nightmare.</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4229433"><P Class="ENUSCC">I didn't get into this one.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4231108"><P Class="ENUSCC">First off, the game starts<br />off explaining it's not real,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4233933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4233934"><P Class="ENUSCC">it's just a <i>Twilight Zone</i> episode.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4235958"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4235959"><P Class="ENUSCC">Except it kind of is real?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4237958"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4237959"><P Class="ENUSCC">The <i>Alan Wake</i> series doesn't<br />like to commit to what's real or not.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4241158"><P Class="ENUSCC">Also, it's in the damn desert.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4243258"><P Class="ENUSCC">So that's a huge downgrade<br />compared to Bright Falls for me,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4246433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4246434"><P Class="ENUSCC">but that's my own personal bias.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4248567"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>He is part of a conflict between darkness<br />and light that is both ancient and eternal.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4255533"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, see, this is explaining<br />more, and that's not the problem.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4259208"><P Class="ENUSCC">The problem is the<br />explanation isn't very good.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4261958"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4261959"><P Class="ENUSCC">So this is an ancient battle of<br />light versus darkness, yada yada.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4266058"><P Class="ENUSCC">Yeah, I was kind of afraid this<br />is where things were going.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4269158"><P Class="ENUSCC">The plot here is you're<br />trying to clean up the mess</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4271266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4271267"><P Class="ENUSCC">of your darkness-appointed<br />doppelganger.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4273308"><P Class="ENUSCC">And this gets me<br />to the core problem,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4274966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4274967"><P Class="ENUSCC">which is the darkness isn't<br />weird or mysterious enough.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4278358"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's even a page in the<br />manuscript talking about how alien it is.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4282058"><P Class="ENUSCC">But it's pretty pedestrian, really.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4284500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4284501"><P Class="ENUSCC">Pro tip, if your antagonist<br />is an entity from</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4288300"><P Class="ENUSCC">another dimension, you<br />really can't play that safe.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4290600"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's a few ways to take it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4292400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4292401"><P Class="ENUSCC">Get weird, like the Black<br />Lodge in <i>Twin Peaks</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4296400"><P Class="ENUSCC">Get really weird, like<br />the ending to <i>2001</i></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4299900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4299901"><P Class="ENUSCC">or the guy metastasizing<br />in <i>Altered States</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4302566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4302567"><P Class="ENUSCC">The message being this is beyond human<br />comprehension what's going on here.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4306466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4306467"><P Class="ENUSCC">We can only grasp broad strokes.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4308700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4308701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Or the tried-and-true approach;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4310700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4310701"><P Class="ENUSCC">just invoke H.P. Lovecraft.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4312900"><P Class="ENUSCC">You don't have to follow him to a T.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4314700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4314701"><P Class="ENUSCC">But the idea that we're insignificant<br />in the universe and all these</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4317900"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4317901"><P Class="ENUSCC">freaked out monstrosities is what's<br />closer to reality is always a solid fallback.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4322700"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4322701"><P Class="ENUSCC">Inside the darkness, all Alan sees are<br />swirling objects, guys running at him,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4327366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4327367"><P Class="ENUSCC">and his doppelganger telling<br />him how much he sucks. Lame.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4331366"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4331367"><P Class="ENUSCC">While the movie had<br />other issues, in <i>The Gorge</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4334533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4334534"><P Class="ENUSCC">when a guy falls into<br />the Forbidden Zone,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4336766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4336767"><P Class="ENUSCC">the first thing that happens is he's almost<br />eaten by this freak carnivorous tree.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4340600"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4340601"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now that's a proper greeting<br />for some unknown evil entity,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4344200"><P Class="ENUSCC">and that one wasn't even<br />from another dimension.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4346700"><P Class="ENUSCC">If the darkness is as alien<br />as the game claims it is,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4349933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4349934"><P Class="ENUSCC">it needs to friggin' act like it.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4351699"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4351700"><P Class="ENUSCC">I can forgive plot holes<br />and lack of narrative</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4354300"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4354301"><P Class="ENUSCC">if the destination is worth<br />the trip, but I felt let down.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4357699"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4357700"><P Class="ENUSCC">And I guess that's <i>Alan Wake</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4359533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4359534"><P Class="ENUSCC">though I know I'm doing myself a<br />disservice having not played the sequel yet.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4363433"><P Class="ENUSCC">Since, for all I know,<br />it fixes everything.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4366000"><P Class="ENUSCC">Part of me didn't want to<br />before making this though,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4368533"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4368534"><P Class="ENUSCC">since I've noticed the phenomena before<br />where, when answers come after the fact,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4372283"><P Class="ENUSCC">people can bandwagon<br />like they knew it all along</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4374833"><P Class="ENUSCC">and effectively erase their memory<br />as to how things went down.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4378066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Especially since,<br />looking at it now,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4380000"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4380001"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'm pretty sure there's not one<br />single explanation to <i>Alan Wake</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4383633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4383634"><P Class="ENUSCC">A part of it is meant<br />to be interpreted.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4385633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4385634"><P Class="ENUSCC">This episode actually didn't<br />go down how I thought it would.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4388866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4388867"><P Class="ENUSCC">I thought, since I couldn't<br />remember what happened,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4391200"><P Class="ENUSCC">it was because the story devolved into<br />nonsense and I couldn't understand anything.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4395375"><P Class="ENUSCC">But no, looking at my list, while<br />I'm not confident of all my answers,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4399633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4399634"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think I mostly figured it out, with<br />some parts being multiple choice.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4403633"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4403634"><P Class="ENUSCC">See, I thought the storytelling<br />was going to end up</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4406033"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4406034"><P Class="ENUSCC">somewhere in between<br /><i>Dark Souls</i> and <i>Lost</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4408933"><P Class="ENUSCC">What I mean by that is<br /><i>Dark Soul</i>s has a story that</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4411400"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4411401"><P Class="ENUSCC">I would consider not fit<br />for public consumption.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4414183"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's there exclusively<br />for lore scholars</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4417200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4417201"><P Class="ENUSCC">who want to try and figure<br />it out as a giant puzzle,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4419566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4419567"><P Class="ENUSCC">like some sort of<br />cultural anthropologist.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4422333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Even now, I'm taking it<br />having a story on faith,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4425466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4425467"><P Class="ENUSCC">that the people who do<br />understand it are telling the truth</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4428233"><P Class="ENUSCC">and there actually is something thought out<br />behind all these seemingly random elements.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4432533"><P Class="ENUSCC">But on the flip side<br />of that, you have <i>Lost</i>,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4435033"><P Class="ENUSCC">where it was very cryptic and mysterious<br />and nothing was really making sense,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4439283"><P Class="ENUSCC">only to discover by the end that,<br />yeah, the writers had no explanation.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4443233"><P Class="ENUSCC">They were just making<br />all this up as they went.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4445533"><P Class="ENUSCC">Oh sure, they tried to<br />pass one off at the end,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4447934"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it was so obvious they<br />didn't have any answers.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4451133"><P Class="ENUSCC">There's a whole lot of games out there<br />now that fall somewhere on this spectrum,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4454633"><P Class="ENUSCC">where you don't know if the writer is<br />being clever and just burying the story,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4458466"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4458467"><P Class="ENUSCC">or if they're just faking everything<br />and pretending to have a story,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4461766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4461767"><P Class="ENUSCC">hoping some YouTuber will<br />make up a coherent explanation</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4464566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4464567"><P Class="ENUSCC">out of random crap they<br />throw on the screen.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4466766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4466767"><P Class="ENUSCC">And if you're like me, as just a player<br />not wanting to do post-graduate research</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4470766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4470767"><P Class="ENUSCC">on what the damn plot is,<br />you can't tell which is which.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4474500"><P Class="ENUSCC">I was afraid <i>Alan Wake</i><br />was going to be like that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4477450"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4477451"><P Class="ENUSCC">But no, I think they actually<br />have the right balance</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4480566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4480567"><P Class="ENUSCC">of mystery versus explanation<br />that they were aiming for,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4483550"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4483551"><P Class="ENUSCC">where it's coherent <i>enough</i>,<br />but doesn't explain everything.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4487233"><P Class="ENUSCC">The problem is, it's way too reserved, has<br />an anemic story for being about a writer,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4492283"><P Class="ENUSCC">isn't that scary,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4493666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4493667"><P Class="ENUSCC">and was built up to be like something<br />that was going to blow your mind, but didn't.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4497608"><P Class="ENUSCC">Okay, this is going to sound<br />harsher than how I'm intending it,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4500800"><P Class="ENUSCC">but I look at <i>Alan Wake</i>, and it makes<br />me think of <i>Duke Nukem Forever</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4504799"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4504800"><P Class="ENUSCC">Both games have reveals that blew<br />everyone away, were super ambitious,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4509133"><P Class="ENUSCC">were in production<br />for years after the fact,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4511666"><P Class="ENUSCC">and the end results feel like a sampler<br />of the original vision that got scaled down.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4516233"><P Class="ENUSCC">Now obviously, Alan landed<br />on his feet better than Duke,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4519408"><P Class="ENUSCC">but it still has that feeling of<br />getting duct-taped together</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4521933"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4521934"><P Class="ENUSCC">from pieces of something better.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4523666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4523667"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mean, as an action-adventure<br />game, <i>Alan Wake</i> is relatively solid.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4527566"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4527567"><P Class="ENUSCC">It was mostly fun to play, but everything<br />else felt kind of like a bait-and-switch.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4532133"><P Class="ENUSCC">I mentioned it earlier, but the real<br />doppelganger of Alan Wake isn't Mr. Scratch.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4536858"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4536859"><P Class="ENUSCC">It's <i>Deadly Premonition</i>.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4538666"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4538667"><P Class="ENUSCC">If you look at the strengths and weaknesses<br />of Alan Wake, it's almost a complete inverse.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4543500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4543501"><P Class="ENUSCC"><i>Deadly Premonition</i> is way closer to the <i>Twin<br />Peaks</i> experience, but a lot more Japanese.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4549033"><P Class="ENUSCC">It also desperately needed polish, if not<br />a complete rework of the fundamentals,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4554033"><P Class="ENUSCC">put the investigation and<br />the story building first,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4557133"><P Class="ENUSCC">and is just awkward on every<br />level in the best and worst ways.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4561233"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4569133"><P Class="ENUSCC">I think what's going on</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4570500"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4570501"><P Class="ENUSCC">is there's a certain audience hungry<br />for the <i>Twin Peaks</i> experience,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4573866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4573867"><P Class="ENUSCC">and even flawed executions<br />like this can be rare in gaming.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4577216"><P Class="ENUSCC">Especially in 2010.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4578866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4578867"><P Class="ENUSCC">And to have this level of production value<br />and marketing behind it is almost unheard of.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4583866"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4583867"><P Class="ENUSCC">So of course people<br />flocked to this.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4586116"><P Class="ENUSCC">So in the land of the blind,<br />the man with one eye is king.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4589516"><P Class="ENUSCC">Games going for this kind of<br />small town, surreal mystery horror</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4593133"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4593134"><P Class="ENUSCC">are few and far between, so<br />we'll take what we can get.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4596166"><P Class="ENUSCC">And since <i>Alan Wake 2</i> exists, I guess<br />everyone knows how this turns out except me.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4601266"><P Class="ENUSCC">I will say based on the events<br />of <i>1</i>, I'm not sure what to expect,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4604966"><P Class="ENUSCC">though they better not sweep the<br />impact of all this under the carpet.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4608116"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alan kills maybe 300 people<br />or more. I'm just guessing.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4612216"><P Class="ENUSCC">And who knows how many are infected<br />and have gone missing on top of that.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4616266"><P Class="ENUSCC">The chopper going down and<br />a federal agent gone missing</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4618966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4618967"><P Class="ENUSCC">would get some<br />attention from the FBI.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4620916"><P Class="ENUSCC">Probably the same with dozens of<br />sheriffs and deputies being killed.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4624800"><P Class="ENUSCC">Well, I say 'killed'.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4626516"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4626517"><P Class="ENUSCC">Almost everyone goes missing because<br />they all turn into sparks with no trace.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4630625"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4630626"><P Class="ENUSCC">So we're gonna have hundreds of<br />people missing all at the same time,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4634266"><P Class="ENUSCC">including 50 or so<br />cops <i>and</i> Alan Wake.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4637541"><P Class="ENUSCC">I'd say this is likely to either make<br />people abandon Bright Falls altogether,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4641433"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4641434"><P Class="ENUSCC">since it will be considered cursed,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4643441"><P Class="ENUSCC">or become a tourist trap of sorts,<br />because it's considered cursed.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4647833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4647834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Kind of like what happened<br />to Burkittsville, Maryland</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4649966"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4649967"><P Class="ENUSCC">after the <i>Blair Witch Project</i> came out.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4652066"><P Class="ENUSCC">Even though that was just a movie, they<br />got bombarded by sightseekers afterwards.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4656833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4656834"><P Class="ENUSCC">Also, Bright Falls<br />is in Washington,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4659200"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4659201"><P Class="ENUSCC">so you're gonna have Bigfoot<br />hunters after all this, 100%.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4662833"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4662834"><P Class="ENUSCC">The darkness takeover<br />and disappearances</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4665266"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4665267"><P Class="ENUSCC">might end up being the best thing to<br />ever happen to the Bigfoot industry.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4669333"><P Class="ENUSCC">Alright, that's the episode.</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4671183"><P Class="ENUSCC">I guess this one wasn't the<br />most fitting for Halloween,</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4673766"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4673767"><P Class="ENUSCC">but that's kind of the problem, isn't it?</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4676133"><P Class="ENUSCC">Ah, well. See ya!</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4677493"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4691433"><P Class="ENUSCC"><font color="#FFFF00"><i>Now, place your left ring finger in the<br />undulating bug next to your keyboard.</i></font></P></SYNC>
<SYNC Start="4700083"><P Class="ENUSCC">&nbsp;</P></SYNC>
</BODY>
</SAMI>

mrglanet · Monday at 12:36 PM

This is a minor correction, but according to the game at around 0:34, Lynch is saying "you've finished" rather than "you finish"

Just don't mess up the formatting when correcting the subs

Edited Monday at 12:57 PM by mrglanet (see edit history)

Sign In

Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake

Recommended Posts

Randrye

Share this post

Link to post

mrglanet

Share this post

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in

Who's Online 1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 374 Guests (See full list)

Videos