Epsilon

Banned for not being able to think of a clever name.

Get surgery. For about the 6th time. What would you do if you were a stereotypical American, and Europe decided to nuke all of the McDonalds?

Banned for banning someone who banned Alyxx, the only person here who's only banned me once (the previous record holder was Psychotic Ninja).

Water gun.. Pfft. How 'bout one of these?

@alphabetagamma: Assuming I didn't freeze/suffocate to death, I'd panic. The amounts of gas released would (slowly, but surely) propel my house toward Earth. What would you do if you had epilepsy and saw this?

Banned for not having a top typing speed of 120 WPM (I got lucky and did that once... norly).

Banned for not typing faster.

Banned for possibly implying that I may be violating the law.

Nah, I'm actually still in school. Banned for presuming to know my age.

Banned fo' reckonin' thet th' fine old South is evil, ah reckon. Also, banned fo' bannin' someone at skoo.

I would wonder how I could lose it. It's either with me in the car, or at my house on the table. What would you do if the redneck in my sig was a crazed gunman, and you met him?

Banned for not having a nationalistic redneck sig like my new one. YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!

Banned for admitting to be a MLP fanatic. EDIT: ...How do you do that again? I can't seem to get it to work.

I'd put it in a marathon to make it start running again. What would you do if I used another bad pun?

Dethrone Harald V. What would you do if you had to play Call of Duty: Black Ops on the XBox Live with an entire lobby of prepubescent children who do nothing but scream over their mics, while watching Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, and listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" on repeat for an entire day at gunpoint (Pretend you have two pairs of ears and two pairs of eyes)?

Banned for not having a patent on the image.

Banned for not having the last post in the "If Life Were an RPG" thread.

Epsilon uses [Double Post] for -900 REP. Gordon Freeman adds Epsilon to [The List] for [(3x4y7z12)5 (–5x9y3z4)2], where x = 9001, y = 1337, and z = 42. Epsilon does not die, but is teleported to a place of eternal torture by [Gordon Freeman's Crowbar].

Leader Enemy Boss attacks Alyxx for 500 damage (Crushing). Epsilon deactivated [Noble Steed]. Epsilon casts [Heal] on Alyxx, healing for 500 health. Leader Enemy Boss missed Epsilon. Epsilon uses [Awesomeness of the Greek Alphabet] on Leader Enemy Boss for 9001 damage (1337 Overkill). Leader Enemy Boss dies.

Defias Bandit attacks Epsilon for 10 damage (Stabbing). Epsilon hits Defias Bandit with [baseball Bat] for 80 damage (Crushing). Defias Bandit missed. Epsilon attacks Defias Bandit for 10 damage (10 Overkill). Defias Bandit dies. Epsilon eats [Delicious Beef Jerky]. Epsilon loots 5 Gold, 15 Silver, 80 Copper. Epsilon loots [Red Defias Mask].

Pretty miserable today. Hot and cloudy with a 20% chance of isolated thunderstorms.

Banned because you're *also*

Did you know that in every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere? Did you know that Sweden has the highest number of McDonald’s per person of anywhere in Europe?

Banned for failing to be a human spell checker.

Banned for continuing to confuse a sleep-deprived caffeine addict.