Randrye

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Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake

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Hi all, here's the subtitles for Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake in .smi format <SAMI> <HEAD> <TITLE>Ross's Game Dungeon Alan Wake</TITLE> <SAMIParam> Metrics {time:ms;} Spec {MSFT:1.0;} </SAMIParam> <STYLE TYPE="text/css">  </STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY> <-- Open play menu, choose Captions and Subtitles, On if available --> <-- Open tools menu, Security, Show local captions when present --> <SYNC Start="2300">Welcome. I have something important to tell you. It goes like this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="7366">[beatboxing]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="12999"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="23466">Hello! This is filmmaker David Lynch.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="27466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="27467">I'm going to be taking you through the magical world of typing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="32666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="32667">By the time you finish this computer program, you'll be a typing wizard.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="39733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="39734">Let's rock!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="41966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="41967">Wakey, wakey, it's the Game Dungeon. Tonight we have Alan Wake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="47400">Now this is a pretty well-known game, but I've had some thoughts on it,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="50833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="50834">plus, I realized I don't actually know what happened.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="54000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="54001">It's a mystery game, partially.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="56500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="56501">I've played through it before, and I can't remember the plot.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="60200">Or why you're doing anything that you are. That's unusual for me for a mystery.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="65050">So I clearly missed something. A lot.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="68000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="68001">Now I should probably start at the beginning,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="70250"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="70251">but I kind of want to start before the beginning.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="73251">Yeah, it's another one of those games.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="75483"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="75484">Except I usually only have this problem when it comes to time travel.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="79050">And this is not a time travel game. At least, I don't think it is?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="84000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="84001">See, I'm not even sure. That's how in-the-dark I am. Let's go.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="88000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="88900">Stephen King once wrote that nightmares exist outside of logic,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="92666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="92667">and there's little fun to be had in explanations.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="95166">They're antithetical to the poetry of fear. Well, sometimes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="98686">In a horror story, the victim keeps asking why.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="101500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="101501">But there can be no explanation, and there shouldn't be one.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="104300">Hmm...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="105600">The unanswered mystery is what stays with us the longest,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="107980"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="107981">and is what we'll remember in the end.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="110466">My name is Alan Wake. I'm a writer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="113239"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="113733">[Dragnet theme]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="120700">I've always had a vivid imagination, but this dream unsettled me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="125200">It was wild and dark and weird, even by my standards.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="128833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="128834">I think mine are higher than yours, Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="130753"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="130754">So yes, it began with a dream.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="133500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="136600">Following a typical nightmare pattern, I was late.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="139613">Hey!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="140813">Desperately trying to reach my destination -- a lighthouse --</SYNC> <SYNC Start="143753">for some urgent reason I couldn't remember.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="146393">Isn't that the car from The Evil Dead?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="148293">...a coastal road to get there.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="150360"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="152053">Eat shit!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="153253"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="154001">Okay, I'll give the game props.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="155826"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="155827">If we back up a second, look at that guy's face.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="158826"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="158827">That looks EXACTLY like the sort of guy</SYNC> <SYNC Start="161566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="161567">who would stand out in the middle of the road waiting to get hit.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="164433">Well the scam backfired this time, buddy.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="167008"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="167866">He was dead.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="169066"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="170166">I was convinced they'd put me in jail, and I would never see Alice again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="174008"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="174009">No, no, okay.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="176008"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="176009">The United States is very forgiving towards vehicular manslaughter.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="180108">Let alone an accident where the pedestrian is at fault.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="183500">Eh... we'll come back to this later.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="186008"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="186009">Oh, there you go! See? He's gone! No harm, no foul!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="189966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="190558">Okay, so this is the tutorial, and it's a dream, so I guess nothing matters.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="195408">That's why the guy you hit reappears, teleports to you,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="199008"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="199009">then starts telling you how you're not a good writer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="201158">It's not like your stories are any good!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="204506">Not like they have any artistic merit!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="207040"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="207633">You're a lousy writer!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="209313"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="209500">Yeah, this doesn't strike me as that far-fetched a dream for a writer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="213558">All your characters telling you your writing sucks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="216508">Speaking of writing, this is another game I'm going to take the story challenge on,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="221458">meaning I have to try and figure out what the story is without looking up any of it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="225758">I've had mixed results attempting that in the past,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="228483">but I kind of consider it a narrative failure if you can't figure out</SYNC> <SYNC Start="231600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="231601">what a game is about without looking at a wiki online.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="234933">Now this might be frustrating to people who do know the story,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="238058">especially since Alan Wake 2 is out now, which, for all I know, explains everything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="243208">But I promise I'll give it my best.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="245358">I don't think there's much important to the plot going on here, though.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="248500">Some guy is trying to kill me with an axe, then a tornado appears, a bridge collapses,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="254308">some guy I've never seen before says, "Hey, remember me?"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="257240">Mr. Wake, it's me, Clay Steward, remember?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="260400">I get locked in a cabin with a bunch of TVs and lose most of my health.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="264283">Honestly, yeah, this feels like a dream sequence.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="267333">A bunch of bad things happen, nothing really makes sense,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="270558">but then Tyrael from Diablo II appears and tells me to step into the light.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="274700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="274701">He's just giving me the tutorial.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="276600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="276601">The core of the game is bad guys infected with the darkness come to kill you,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="280890"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="280891">but if you shine a flashlight on them, you burn away their shields.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="284466">Then you use your gun.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="286059">[angelic choir]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="290100">This dream ain't big enough for the both of us.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="293044"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="293600">Down you go.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="294800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="295066">Now what is the darkness, you may ask?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="297600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="298086">Um...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="299333">Moving on, the tornado gets worse, we make it to the lighthouse,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="302900">but the Evil Dead camera was waiting for us.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="305900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="305901">AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--</SYNC> <SYNC Start="307613"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="307614">Alan, wake up!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="308900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="308901">Baby, just another nightmare. Everything's fine. You dozed off.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="313751">Right. Anything more...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="315333">The lip sync isn't very good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="317800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="317801">Yeah, Alan looks okay, but I don't think his wife escaped the uncanny valley.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="322665"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="326333">Hey, that is the car from The Evil Dead. Well, almost.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="330360"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="330361">They changed it a little, probably to avoid Oldsmobile licensing fees,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="334466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="334467">but this isn't a coincidence.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="336566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="336567">Yeah, you have to be careful with dropping references like this,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="339566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="339567">because here's the thing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="340980"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="340981">Spoiler, but from what I remember,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="342886"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="342887">The Evil Dead is way more hardcore than anything in Alan Wake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="346567">[screaming]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="350567">JOIN US!!!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="352839"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="353733">[screaming]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="356566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="356567">[chainsaw roaring]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="360266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="362233">Yeah, it's not like that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="364006">So by dropping this reference, the game is raising my expectations</SYNC> <SYNC Start="367333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="367334">to think this is going to be like The Evil Dead,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="369833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="369834">which would be fucking awesome, but since it doesn't hit that hard,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="373946"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="373947">it's kind of setting me up for disappointment.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="376533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="376534">The game looks gorgeous, though.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="378566">Oh look, another one! "L. Jenkins".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="381393"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="381666">That doesn't even connect to anything in the game, does it?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="384516">Are they just dropping references because they can?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="387241">That feels a little kitschy, but whatever.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="389866">Well the big reference the game is not hiding from is Twin Peaks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="394166">That and Stephen King's stories are the pillars of the game, I think.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="397766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="397767">And Twin Peaks works, because unlike The Evil Dead,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="400933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="400934">the game does try to keep up with that tone.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="403600">Sort of. We'll come back to that, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="406300">Do me a favor, sonny.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="408766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="408767">I could really use a tune right now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="411666">Ah-heh-heh-heh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="413500">"Coconut", number six in the jukebox.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="415966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="416600">I'd do it myself, but both of my legs have gone to sleep.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="421733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="422533">Bad circulation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="424685"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="424686">I'M STUCK HERE FOREVER!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="427080">--favorite tune!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="428360">YEAH, HIT IT! HIT IT MORE!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="431020">JUST KEEP HITTING IT!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="432580"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="432581">HELL YEAH, HIT IT!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="434021"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="434573">Well Alan Wake has rented a cabin on the lake,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="437400">and the owner was supposed to give us the keys, but he's not here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="440350">Instead, some ominous lady helps us out. Cool.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="443860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="443861">And on the way out, this is so nitpicky I may be the only person who noticed this,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="448860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="448861">but the engine has a little bit of a problem with the animation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="451860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="451861">This is a video cutscene. It's not being rendered in real time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="455410">Okay, notice how the camera moves smoothly as they drive over the bridge,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="459434"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="459435">but the car is stuttering back and forth a bit.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="462433">That looks like an engine bug or limitation to me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="465600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="465601">You would think a car moving in a straight line</SYNC> <SYNC Start="468553"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="468554">would be the easiest possible thing to animate,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="471100">but hey, depending on the engine, crap like this happens,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="474466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="474467">and if you're the animator, you might be helpless to fix it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="477373">I just had to point that out,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="478600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="478601">because I've TOTALLY seen this sort of thing on the Source engine.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="482200">Once upon a time, I was a successful writer, but that was a long time ago.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="486992"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="486993">I hadn't been able to write a word in two years -- not since my last book.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="490994"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="490995">Well, that's kind of relative.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="493050"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="493051">Two years could be a long time, or it could be nothing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="495933">It depends on what else you've been doing in those two years.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="499375">At the cabin, we learn Alan's wife Alice has a severe fear of the dark.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="503600">And even though he was trying to keep a low profile,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="505966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="505967">the local radio host broadcasts that he's in town.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="508966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="508967">I know who that famous artist was.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="510966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="510967">It was Alan Wake, wasn't it?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="512580">[Alan groans] He's my favorite writer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="514366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="514367">Well, Rose, I... I just saw him at the diner.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="517233">Oh, I am so excited he's here!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="520016">Yeah, he was recognized by the radio host on the ferry,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="522966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="522967">and then in town, the waitress is a superfan,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="525466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="525467">and salvaged a cardboard cutout of him just by coincidence, not knowing he was coming.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="530666">I'm not sure what the purpose of this is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="533116">It feels a little self-indulgent and not something most people can relate to.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="537166">Oh no! I'm a famous, wealthy, best-selling author,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="539966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="539967">and everywhere I go, people recognize me and tell me how much they like my work.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="543766">Life is hard.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="545064">Eh, uh-oh! Et tu, Alice?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="548166">Alan thought this vacation was just a getaway to clear his mind,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="551700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="551701">but Alice was hoping he could use the calm as inspiration to work on a new novel.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="555700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="555701">NO! SHUT UP!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="557700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="557701">So now you want to get me committed?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="559386">No! It's not like that. That's not... Alan?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="563833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="564922">Alan?! I'm right here!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="566326">Don't! Just don't! I don't want to hear it! God damn it, Alice!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="570066"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="570067">I didn't come here for your schemes or this haunted cabin!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="573000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="573001">Damn it!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="573867"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="573868">Ngyagh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="575000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="575001">Ahh! My knees!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="576700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="577533">Ahh! Ahh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="579826">Alan!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="581026"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="581380">Alice? Alan, no! No!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="585333">Oh, great. She's screaming.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="587300">Okay, okay. I'll come take care of the ghost, but I'm still mad.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="591400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="591401">No! Alan! Help me!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="594300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="594301">All right! I said I'm coming!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="596966">Great. She's not even here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="598600">But Alan thinks he sees her in the water.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="601146">Alley-oop!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="602346"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="603726">And, Alan, wake up! You've been in a car wreck!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="606670"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="607901">What?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="609101"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="609495">Yeah, okay. Now we have a mystery.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="612500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="613713">This actually makes me feel more validated,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="615733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="615734">since Alan doesn't remember what happened in this game either.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="618506"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="618507">The gas station was my best bet. They'd have a phone I could use.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="622453"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="622454">It looked like a long hike through the forest to get there.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="625213"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="625214">What are you talking about? That's like five minutes away.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="628133">Oh, okay. They don't want you going down the embankment.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="631383">Though I'm pretty sure I could do that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="633916"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="634633">Hmm. Maybe not. It looked closer than it is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="637933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="637934">I think you could still climb back up, though.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="640834"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="641953">Oops.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="643366">Oh well, what do I care? I'm a best- selling author. I can get another car.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="647753"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="647754">So, going back to the argument, I kind of see both sides to this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="651466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="651467">It's obvious Alan was in the wrong for blowing up at Alice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="654866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="654867">She was just being nice and trying to help,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="657100">but maybe she should've known this topic is a sore spot for him also.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="660866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="660867">Like, have you ever been critical of yourself over something you know you need to do,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="664486"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="664487">and have been over it in your head a hundred times?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="667040">Then someone comes along and says the exact same thing to you,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="670033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="670034">like you've never thought of that before, and you're ready to lay into them?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="673733">I feel like that's exactly where Alan was coming from.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="676466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="676467">Oh wait, Tyrael's back.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="678147"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="679093">Hello? Is someone there?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="681382"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="684186">The loose sheets of paper were pages from a manuscript entitled "Departure".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="688399"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="688400">That was the name I'd planned to use for the next novel I had never gotten started.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="692633">I was named the author. I hadn't written it. I couldn't remember writing it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="698000">Wow, that's a good twist! The forest ate his homework!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="701780">Though I was hoping this would mess with Alan's head more than it does.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="705300">I mean, if you've had writer's block for two years, then BAM!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="708700">You black out and your novel is written, and it's good,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="712275">but you don't remember anything, and it's scattered everywhere,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="714933">so you may not get it back again?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="716800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="716801">That could mess with a writer's head so badly.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="719867"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="719868">That's exactly the kind of torment I like.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="722833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="722834">But Alan doesn't really react much to it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="725300">But back to Alan's fight with his wife,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="727300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="727301">I think the context really depends on what he's been doing for the past two years.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="731600">I mean, why are they having a getaway to remove all distractions now?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="735833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="735834">Wouldn't they have tried that a while ago already?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="738467"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="738468">It seems like an obvious thing to try if you're having trouble writing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="742300">And it's time for darkness-infested guys.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="745050"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="745051">The game calls them the Taken.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="747050"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="747051">Premium cabins for rent in Bright Falls.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="750726"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="750727">Oh, hell.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="751726"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="751727">Karl Stucky. Pleased to meet you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="756726"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="756727">Non-refundable reservation deposit required.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="762500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="762501">Fair and square.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="764500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="764501">Yeah, they're all kind of like this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="766766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="766767">They come at you with weapons and spout off random phrases,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="769760"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="769761">usually related to their occupation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="771980">Oh, he's coming for me!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="774133">Ha ha! A little-on-the nose, guys.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="777433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="777434">Any second now and Stucky would be knocking on the door with his axe</SYNC> <SYNC Start="781466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="781467">like Nicholson in The Shining.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="783033">Oh, come on!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="785283">You either know that scene or you don't.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="787933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="787934">How patronizing is it to the player to spell it out</SYNC> <SYNC Start="791100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="791101">and kill what little subtlety you have left?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="793933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="793934">You know, it's worth mentioning this originally started out</SYNC> <SYNC Start="796433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="796434">as an Xbox 360 exclusive.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="798933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="798934">Wait, no, that's not true.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="801033">It originally released as an Xbox 360 exclusive.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="805183">And if you look at stereotypes for the average Xbox player in 2010,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="809483">eh... maybe that's what they were aiming for.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="812258">Anyway, now we have a gun, so you point your flashlight on them and then shoot them.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="816860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="816861">And that's 90% of the game, maybe. Something like that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="820860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="820861">They often say crazy crap and it's hard to make out.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="823960">It's rabbit season!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="826466">I normally don't like to play with subtitles on,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="829033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="829034">but I think they expect you to for this part.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="830860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="831253">Logging is a hazardous occupation!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="835400">I don't know if the effect is intended to be scary, or a little funny,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="839166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="839167">but I know what it reminds me of.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="841060">In Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend, at one point you're trying to order food,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="845666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="845667">except the clerks have been infected,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="847120"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="847121">and are turning into zombies with Tourette's Syndrome.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="849533">I guess I'll have a number two.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="851666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="851667">I suppose you want to goddamn largefy that too, don't you, stupid-- -Fuck!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="857000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="857001">Fuck! Fuck!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="858437"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="858438">No, I get it. Your beef comes from England.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="861437"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="861438">Aaargh! I will eat your fucking face!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="866100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="866101">Oh shit--Mad Cow Tourette's zombies.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="869100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="869101">That feels awfully similar to the Taken!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="871533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="871534">[gibberish] --fuck you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="873601"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="873866">The staircase was broken. I had to make my way up some other way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="877962"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="878433">Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah, that's so hard!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="882100">There's no way to get up there! What can we do?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="885820">Look, I know finding poor excuses for invisible walls in games is nothing new,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="890766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="890767">but the game usually doesn't call out the insurmountable barrier</SYNC> <SYNC Start="894553"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="894554">that you could climb up if you could do one pull-up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="897500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="897501">Yeah, in fact, let's talk about that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="899233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="899234">Okay, this is presented as a survival horror game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="902533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="902534">Now, I'm from the old Resident Evil school of thought on that, where survival is not easy.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="907533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="907534">In old Resident Evil games,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="909133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="909134">you are not given enough ammunition to deal with every situation, and melee combat sucks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="914533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="914534">You should run away whenever possible</SYNC> <SYNC Start="916566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="916567">and save your bullets for when you have no other choice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="919683">So when I first played Alan Wake, that was the approach I took.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="923066">That maximizes my chances, right?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="924983">Wrong!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="926533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="926534">I was having enough trouble trying to avoid them earlier,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="929386"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="929387">but around here, it's like I hit a wall.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="931533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="931534">I just can't make it up this hill trying to dodge them.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="934533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="934534">My stamina runs out, then they catch up to me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="937533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="937534">After your stamina drains, you can still do this slow-motion dodge move,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="941566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="941567">but it's not that helpful.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="943400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="943401">The game is making it clear this is non-negotiable.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="946400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="946401">It doesn't want you running from enemies.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="949400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="949401">It wants you gunning them all down.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="951400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="951401">I think that makes it less scary, but they are giving me the bullets.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="955733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="955734">Actually, I found out much later there is a way</SYNC> <SYNC Start="958333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="958334">to sort of handle this without firing a shot,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="960858">but it's awkward.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="962333">It's kind of similar to how I handle mean dogs I encounter in reality.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="966266">Anyway, I think we have a clue!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="968333">The weather is absolutely still, the sky is crystal clear,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="972620">it's like the forest is quietly breathing along with you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="977173">Okay, so the nearby radio host is saying the night is crystal clear,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="981360">but I may as well be inside a cloud.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="983533">The game is going out of its way to call attention to this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="986733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="986734">So what's going on? Hmm...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="989733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="989734">Well, the atmosphere is very good wandering around the woods at night,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="993633">even though it's not that scary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="995500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="995501">since everything is pretty well lit and I have a gun.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="998466">Again, the whole thing is gorgeous.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1000733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1000734">I can really feel this was state-of-the-art for 2010.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1003783">Well, no, excuse me; this was state of the art for every game that wasn't Crysis.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1008733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1008734">Hmm, I guess Heavy Rain came out in 2010 too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1012066">That one was pretty bleeding- edge graphically for the time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1014933">Anyway, the graphics and art direction are still really good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1018733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1018734">Though this is in the forest at night with lots of mist,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1022733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1022734">so fingers crossed this doesn't turn into pixelated mush on YouTube, but... it might.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1028033">Okay, another thermos.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1029983">Yeah, I've been finding these, but I don't know what they're for.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1033233">I looked this up, since I don't think this is going to give away the story,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1036666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1036667">and yeah, they don't do anything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1039700">If you collect all the thermoses,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1041600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1041601">then you get an achievement saying you collected all the thermoses. That's it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1046000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1046001">I don't...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1047201"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1047440">All I can say is some people play games for different reasons than I do.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1051700">Adding to the atmosphere is periodically you can find a TV playing Night Springs.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1057001"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1057002">These are basically Twilight Zone episodes with no budget</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1059953"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1059954">condensed into about three minutes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1062001"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1062002">They're honestly pretty good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1063833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1063834">Now I thought maybe they're meant to be metaphors for what's happening in the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1067466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1067467">I'm pretty sure one of them is, but others might just be fun extra ideas they had.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1072466">For example, this one is about the concept of multiverses, essentially,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1076300">where there are variations of reality where we made different decisions</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1079606"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1079607">or changes than the ones we did.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1081693"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1081694">To prove he's mastered this timeline, he holds a gun up to his head and it won't fire.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1086350">Um, the first time anyway.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1088500">Speaking of guns,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1090233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1090234">I now have a shotgun, a flare gun, and look at this!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1094533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1094534">An entire chest full of revolver rounds!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1097550">The flare gun doesn't even just burn their shields; it eliminates them in a radius.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1102633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1102634">I feel like this is making the game less scary.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1105633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1105634">See, this makes me question what kind of game this is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1108633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1108634">I'm getting mixed messages.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1110633">Like with the pattern of the enemies.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1112633">Usually it seems like three or five will run at me,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1115433">I gun them down, then move on to the next area, repeat.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1118633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1118634">But then if I try to explore a little bit, they just spawn in.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1122266">The longer I looked around, the more seemed to show up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1125200">So I think it might have infinite spawning in spots.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1128175">I guess to discourage exploration?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1130933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1131500">The Deerfest had been two weeks away when we arrived.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1134800">If the day count on the banner was right,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1136866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1136867">I was missing a whole week between the night we got here and now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1140266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1140267">Aha! The plot thickens!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1143033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1143034">You know, losing a week of your memory would suck,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1145933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1145934">but if you were really productive during that week, like Alan was, that wouldn't be so bad.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1151200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1151201">It would be kind of neat to figure out what you got up to.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1153766">I think it depends on how much you trust yourself.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1156500">You know that movie Limitless,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1157966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1157967">where a guy takes drugs to be super intelligent for a while,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1160866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1160867">but then doesn't remember what he did afterwards?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1163325">I like how during one hazy sequence of everything he was up to,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1166673"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1166674">some guy was obviously pointing a gun at him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1169350">I mean, he got past that somehow, which is good,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1172225">but I'd be worried if my unconscious self was stirring up that much trouble,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1176233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1176234">and people come looking for me later.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1178400">Speak of the devil, look who it is!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1180413">I'll keep-- Outside, there's only darkness. I'll reach her, I'll fix it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1184300">I'll bring her back. The story will come true. If I stop, she's lost.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1188866">Okay, so the world is consumed by darkness,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1191400">but Alan can save the day by writing locked away in a cabin.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1194426">Hmm...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1195860"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1195861">I don't know; it feels like we might be entering territory</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1198686"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1198687">where everything is getting made up, so nothing matters.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1201466">IT'S THE FUZZ!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1203575">Oh, thank God, Sheriff.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1205366">I have a gun! Make my day, Sheriff!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1208033">I'm Alan Wake, but listen. I was in a car crash. My wife Alice, she's missing!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1211942"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1211943">Calm down, Mr. Wake--</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1213426">We were staying in a cabin on the island, on Cauldron Lake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1215793">There's no island on Cauldron Lake. Not since the big eruption in the '70s.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1219849"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1219850">What? Please! I can take you there, okay?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1222466">You look like you've taken a pretty bad knock to the head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1224845">Aaah! AAAAAAAH!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1227213"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1227214">Are you okay?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1228533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1228540">Well, the Sheriff is nice enough</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1229873"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1229874">to stop by the lake on your way back to prove that you're crazy,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1233200">and I admit, I like Alan's reaction here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1235866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1236450">Whaaaaaat? Whooooaaaaa!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1240353">And that's the end of the episode, even though this game was never sold episodically.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1245100">And music which I really don't like starts playing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1247950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1247951">["In Dreams" by Roy Orbison] To my room every night...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1249633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1249734">And I think it stays that way for the duration of the song.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1253150">Now, I remember people saying there are clues to the game's plot in the music,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1257050">but I'm not gonna sit here looking at a black screen while I listen to a song I don't like</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1260950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1260951">for three minutes or whatever they're expecting,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1263250">and I would be surprised if the average Xbox player in 2010 would either.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1267450">And immediately following that, we get a "Previously on Alan Wake", like a TV episode.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1273250">This is weird, since you JUST played the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1276450">But I guess if you played one episode, then came back three months later,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1280033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1280034">then this would be helpful for you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1281666">I don't get it, but it's skippable, so no problem!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1285150">Yep. Both of these sequences are skippable, and don't ruin things,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1288633">which is a lot more than I can say for the Walking Dead series.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1291950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1291951">Maybe they patched this out by now, but after you finished an episode of The Walking Dead,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1296950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1296975">they would tell you immediately what's coming on in the next episode,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1300633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1300634">and it was unskippable,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1302275">and they did those constant fades-to-black, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1305100">Why the hell would you do this if the player is already</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1308107">playing the game and ready to play the next episode?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1311200">To spoil it for them so there's less surprise?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1314150"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1314156">I used to leave the room when these came up in The Walking Dead,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1317433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1317434">just so they wouldn't ruin their own game for me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1320000">So thank you, Alan Wake, for NOT doing that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1323225">And since the game's giving me an intermission, I'm using it to check in.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1326950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1326951">I'm gonna try and get to the bottom of what's going on here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1329680">Still more questions than answers, but since I literally don't remember what happened,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1334125">at least this time I'll figure out why.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1336350">And it's flashback time!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1338450">It's pretty mundane with tasks like putting on the coffee and examining photos,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1342533">but you get to see Alan's apartment in New York.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1345050">Part of me suspects these were unused assets from Max Payne 2,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1348600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1348601">so why not have a flashback in them?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1351001"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1351350">AHH! My chair is beating me up! Help!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1355100">But there's not much to this and--oop, there goes the power.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1358300">Alice is freaking out because she's afraid of the dark, but we knew that,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1362100">so we're just retreading things.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1364150">There you go. All better.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1365986"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1366700">Back to present day 2010, it's morning at the sheriff's office.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1370600">Have you started looking for my wife yet?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1372413">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1374400">How did you end up at Stucky's gas station?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1376900">I wanted to tell her what had happened last night, but I couldn't. She'd lock me up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1381200">Okay! Alan has more brains than some gaming protagonists I've seen. Good!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1386653">Alan, please help me. Alice?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1389898"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1389899">Stop talking to the law.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1391513"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1391514">You'll do exactly what I say if you ever want to see your wife again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1394233">Oh, nice! A ransom call!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1396833">And he directs us to a drop-off with Alice's driver's license</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1399733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1399734">to let us know he's being serious.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1401600">Well, I guess that's good news,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1402946"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1402947">that Alice is being held hostage and isn't drowned in the lake,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1406150">but he says "don't go to the police".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1408433">I think I'd have to hard disagree for two reasons.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1411700">First off, let's hear Alice's voice again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1414600">Alan, please help me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1416926">That sounds suspiciously robotic.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1419250">There was voice generation software that could do that back in 2010.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1422753"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1422754">Forget about today.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1424300">So we have no proof she's alive. Alan should ask to put her on the phone.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1428400">Second, and much more suspicious, there's no actual ransom.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1432700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1432701">He didn't say, "Meet him at midnight with a hundred grand", or "a million dollars".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1437092">He just said, "Come meet him in the forest at midnight, or she dies".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1441618">Who the hell kidnaps someone, tells you where to meet them,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1445773"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1445774">but has no ransom demands?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1447700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1447701">Psychos, that's who!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1449766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1449767">He's probably thinking, "Well, I hacked up this guy's wife with an axe,"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1453366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1453367">"I'll tell him to meet me in the woods at night, and I can kill him, too!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1456324"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1456325">"Two-for-one special!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1457966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1457967">Meanwhile, your publicist calls and is coming to meet you. Sure.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1461633">Oh, and if you eavesdrop on the radio, the locals are wondering where Stucky is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1466200">The sheriff asked about him, too, last night.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1468633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1468634">Have you seen Stucky? The guy who owns this place?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1471993">Yeah, you remember Stucky.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1473633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1473634">He was ranting, same as the other crazies, and I had to pump him full of lead?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1477633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1477634">Well, to me, that says two things.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1479933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1479934">First, this is all real, or as close as we get in this game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1483933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1483934">All the Taken are not just in Alan's head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1486933">They're real infected people coming to kill him,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1489533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1489534">because he killed Stucky, and people are noticing Stucky's missing now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1493533">Second, this is really good news for Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1496433">All those enemies disappearing into sparks when you kill them</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1499066"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1499067">aren't just to keep the frame rate high--they're also erasing evidence.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1503283">The police aren't going to be able to prove a damn thing,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1505933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1505934">other than Alan fired a gun out in the woods a bunch of times.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1509183">It's awfully hard to convict someone of murder if you don't have a body.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1513333">You're just going to have missing people.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1515383">Lots and lots and lots of missing people.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1518933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1518934">Who's this?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1520433">I'm Dr. Emil Hartman. I'd like to invite you to stay at Cauldron Lake Lodge.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1524872"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1524873">Did you talk to my wife?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1527049">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1529033">...your situation with her on several occasions.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1531333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1531334">Did you set something up with her?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1532878"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1532879">I invited her here. My clinic is a place where--</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1536934">Okay, I take back what I said about Alan being smarter than the average protagonist.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1542158">And your publicist Barry arrives. Everything at once.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1546033">No harm done, Sarah. I'm all right. I don't want to press charges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1550872"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1550873">That's not how it works. Assault and battery is a crime against the state.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1555666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1555667">However, despite punching someone in front of multiple cops,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1559366">Alan Wake is a famous celebrity, so he gets to walk out of there at no charges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1564466">Well, you need a new place to stay since your cabin doesn't exist anymore.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1568166">And listen to this checking in.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1570266">I guess I'm a little worried. We got a bunch of campers out there we haven't heard from.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1574266">It's not like these people are on a schedule, but with the traps, well... you know.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1578134">Oh, a bunch of campers that haven't checked in, huh?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1582166">Lots of missing people?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1584533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1584534">It's like I said, this isn't just in Alan's head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1587433">All right, let's go.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1589033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1589883">Um...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1591083"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1592183">Come on, open the door.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1593863"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1594333">I can't get out this way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1596013"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1596133">Is there another way out?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1597766">It says, "get the keys". I already got the keys, see?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1602065">Oh my God, is this a bug?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1604315">Let's try the last checkpoint. It's not far.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1606965">Yada yada, missing campers.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1609215">Got the keys. Let's go.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1611865">Aaaaah... Come on!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1615015">I hate this crap. One more time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1617940">I'll just tap it very slightly this time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1621015">Yay, all right. Computers...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1624165">Yeah, I should mention, I didn't even realize there was a remaster of the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1628433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1628434">But I'm too cheap to buy it again unless it had a really compelling reason.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1632133">There's some comparisons out there,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1633966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1633967">and while it does have higher resolution textures,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1636433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1636434">apparently it's missing some other aspects.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1638983"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1638984">So yet another sidegrade release.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1641700">I don't know, I'm probably in the minority,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1644000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1644001">but unless there are major quality-of-life features added,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1647350">I kind of don't see the point of remastering most games past maybe...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1651300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1651301">2004? Somewhere around there?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1653933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1653934">Besides, then they would change the scene where Alan is in shock,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1657033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1657034">and that was perfect the first time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1659166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1659167">Maybe the remaster lets you turn the vignette filter off.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1662766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1662767">That's been bugging me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1664100">It's been more obvious in some parts than others,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1666733">though I have to admit, if you're going to have one,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1669266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1669267">this is kind of where it belongs, in some creepy game at night.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1673233">Though it's still not that creepy.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1675483">I mean, it's trying, but something isn't connecting.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1678600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1678601">Like, I'm headed out to the woods to meet the kidnapper and stop by the lodge again,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1682800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1682801">and OOPS! The owner's dead meat.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1685566">This should be scarier than it is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1687933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1687934">I don't know what the problem here is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1689933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1689934">I guess something with the presentation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1692266">Oh, good, another chest full of bullets.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1694733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1694734">Oh, and here's a pro tip:</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1696433">The wet darkness hurts you if you step in it. See?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1699866">But the dry darkness is fine. Good to know.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1703133">And I'm trying to make my way through the woods,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1705233">but I keep losing my stamina.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1707133">You know, for someone quick to throw hands at a police station,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1710333">Alan gets winded awfully fast.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1712733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1712734">In fact, that's it. I've had enough of this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1715133">All right, anyone watching who has a medical excuse, you're exempt from this next part.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1719433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1719434">But everyone else, you've been enlisted to take the Alan Wake Fitness Challenge!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1726433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1726434">The way it works is simple.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1728133">Find a flat stretch of ground, or a hill if you really want to, then take off running.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1732766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1732767">Your goal is to sustain that as long as Alan Wake can</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1736266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1736267">before you become too winded and have to stop to catch your breath.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1739433">But how long is that?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1740933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1740934">Well, let's see.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1742433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1742434">He's going!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1744066">Aaaaand... ten seconds.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1746166">Ten seconds before he becomes too winded to run away.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1749433">Or maybe nine in some of my tests. It might depend on the slope.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1752833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1752834">If you can run for longer than ten seconds, then congratulations!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1757300">You have passed the Alan Wake Fitness Challenge!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1762200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1762201">[panting]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1767200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1767201">Great work, kiddo.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1769816">How about you reward yourself with a coffee and a smoke?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1775899"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1781840">And remember, this doesn't have to be your top speed.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1784815"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1784816">You can see for yourself how fast Alan is running here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1787815"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1787816">That's a moderately fast run.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1790090">You know how in Grand Theft Auto, if you pop off some shots,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1793066">sometimes people will just book it out of there?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1795290">Yeah, look at that guy!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1796815"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1796816">That looks like a man who does not want to die today!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1800040">That is a full sprint!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1802666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1802667">So yeah, you don't have to go that fast.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1804966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1804967">Just running along.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1806800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1806801">Or if you want to make it more authentic,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1809133">someone can chase you at night with a hatchet or other cutting device.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1812925">Would that improve your times?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1814800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1814801">I bet it might!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1816800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1816801">So yeah, I'm sick of this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1818800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1818801">Alan can't run to save his life.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1821250">Now you might be saying, "Well, he's a writer".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1823500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1823501">"You can't expect a writer to be in shape, necessarily."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1826466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1826467">True, but you know how you can look at some people</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1829083"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1829084">and tell if they exercise to some degree or not?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1831966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1831967">Well, Alan Wake's body actor is Ilkka Vili.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1835266">And if you look at him, I bet he could run longer than ten seconds.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1839416">I think the problem here is we have the wrong writer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1842116">Instead of Alan Wake, one person who comes to mind is George R.R. Martin.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1846700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1846701">He's overweight, in his seventies,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1849700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1849701">and I think he could do almost everything Alan Wake does.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1852700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1852701">And it would increase the immersion for me significantly.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1855700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1855701">Especially since in 2010, he would have been in his sixties. Even better!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1859700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1859701">So George R.R. Martin can't run for more than ten seconds without getting winded?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1864700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1864701">Sure, I can believe that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1866700">He can't climb up these broken steps here?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1869166">Of course! I wouldn't expect him to.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1871700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1871701">But I bet he could walk casually through the forest,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1875266">point a flashlight at people, and fill them full of lead.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1878341">He might be able to crawl up small ledges or walk across a log.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1882541">That's my problem.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1884041">Not that I have this stamina limitation, but that I keep expecting better.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1888441">Alan Wake is acting like a fat old man who doesn't exercise.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1892333">Okay, he does do that high dive into the lake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1895283"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1895284">I wouldn't expect George to do that, but we still need some more balance.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1899433">Well, we make it to the kidnapper.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1901183">He's just some yokel, but it turns out he's been fighting for his life, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1905133">This is a really crappy meeting spot for a handoff.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1908633">So you have to work with him to defend yourself against the fallen,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1911933">and you lose your gun during the cutscene, which is probably necessary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1915300">since I don't see why Alan wouldn't shoot him given his temperament.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1918566">And I feel like I was both right and wrong</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1921000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1921001">about contacting the cops over the kidnapping.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1923416">This is not some professional crew taking Alice. It's just some hick.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1927891">The local police could've tracked them back to his place and busted him easily,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1931891">especially if they put a wire on Alan for this meet.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1934966">That said, that wouldn't have worked,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1937016">because the Taken would've swarmed everyone and no doubt killed all the cops.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1940916">So this is going to turn out the same either way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1943816"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1943817">And this escalates, turning the game into a wave shooter.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1947401"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1947666">Yeah... I don't know.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1949346"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1949516">WHERE'S MY WIFE?!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1951816"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1951817">Where's my wife? I knew you were going to say that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1954500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1954501">Yeah, you're the kidnapper, dumbass!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1956916">What the hell are you talking about? Where's Alice?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1959748"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1959749">I want the entire manuscript, or she's going to suffer bad.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1964748"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1964749">You touch her, I'll...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1966516"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1966517">Ha ha!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1968016">Yeah, you really need to build up your stamina</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1970333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1970334">if you're going to keep punching people, Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1972200">Your fists are going to write checks you can't cash.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1975000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1975001">And he gets away.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1976766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1976767">So he wants the manuscript.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1978666">Well, that's a problem, since we only have pieces of it scattered around the forest.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1982633">So Alan can't deliver on this, even if he wants to.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1985466">He really needs to get the cops involved.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1987550">Another clue!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1989166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1989167">I had heard the plane fall. It made no sense.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1992400">It was clear that it had just fallen here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1995108"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1995109">It was very old and obviously hadn't flown in decades.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="1998566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="1998567">Okay, we're adding a lot of twists here. I hope we're not entering Lost territory.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2003266">And another clue!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2005166">"The darkness wears her face".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2007300">Well, that has to be the ominous lady.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2009433">Okay, so she's just a manifestation of the darkness.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2012633">That doesn't really answer what the darkness is, though.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2015733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2015734">And a driving sequence!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2017983">Okay, backing up to Alan's imaginary vehicular manslaughter problem,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2022100">first off, if he was willing to commit some crimes,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2024900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2024901">you might think he could just take the body out of the road,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2027666">take the car to a repair shop, and say he hit a deer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2030800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2030801">Well, that sounds risky to me, because someone will find the body later,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2034366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2034367">and if the police are diligent, they'll do an investigation</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2037366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2037367">to see if anyone did have any fender damage,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2039983"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2039984">then ta-da! Your name comes up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2042366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2042367">You could end up as a prime suspect.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2044566">Now, the better illegal way is that Alan was on an isolated road with no witnesses.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2049800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2049801">So he could take the body, put it in the trunk, go bury it in the woods later,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2054800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2054801">wash out the trunk, then take it to a repair shop and say he hit a deer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2059366">And now he has no suspicion on him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2061441">But here's the thing; he doesn't even need to break the law.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2064933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2064934">The US legal system is so forgiving about this sort of thing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2068933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2068934">Like a driver driving into a sidewalk into a crowd of pedestrians,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2072233">including a lady in a wheelchair. No charges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2075400">Or running a red light, then driving onto the sidewalk and running someone over.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2079700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2079701">No charges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2080866">Or a garbage truck yielding the right-of-way to a pedestrian,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2084166">then getting impatient and running them over anyway, then fleeing the scene.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2089016"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2089017">And this one was caught on video, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2091666">You guessed it; no charges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2094066">Even driving with a suspended license, speeding,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2097650"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2097651">AND driving onto the sidewalk, running someone over.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2100516">Okay, well that one had no charges at first,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2103216">later there were charges, but no jail time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2106266">This sort of thing happens a lot.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2108366">I mean, yeah, those are anecdotes,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2110266">but there's been some statistical analysis that it's absolutely a trend.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2114416">So even if Alan was a nobody, and in the wrong with his driving,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2119166">I'd say his odds are more than good for him walking from hitting a pedestrian.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2123633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2123634">But compound that with him not being at fault, and being a famous celebrity?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2128500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2128501">Forget about it. He punched a doctor in front of multiple cops and walked out.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2133733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2133734">Alan can run over anyone he wants to on an isolated road and not face any consequences.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2139200">So that's one fear he can put to rest.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2142075">A boss battle with a bunch of crows is not.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2145050">The crows are pretty annoying.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2146900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2146901">It was way more fun shooting people in the woods.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2149900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2149901">Well, morning comes, and Alan thinks since he doesn't have all the pages,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2153900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2153901">he'll just write some new ones. Good reasoning.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2156925">Okay, time to write. Time to write.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2159900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2159901">Ah! My eyes! It hurts! Make it stop! Ah!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2165901">Being a writer's hard.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2168150">Well, never fear. Rose from the diner--remember, the superfan?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2172566">She calls Barry and says she has the missing pages and is not on drugs at all.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2176900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2176901">I found Mr. Wake's pages. Oh...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2179885">Yep, the darkness has her too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2182900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2182901">And another end-of-the-episode.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2185300">Now this time, I do like the song they have here,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2187950">but again, I'm not going to sit and stare at a title slide just to hear it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2192200">Well, let's go to the trailer park.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2194550">And now we're back to Twin Peaks, and honestly, this is what I wanted more of.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2199150">Talking to the locals, taking in the atmosphere during the day,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2202766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2202767">building our mystery.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2204150">And you can tell the game was expecting me to use an analog stick here following along,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2209100">but it's short-lived as we say hi to Rose,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2212050">she confesses she was bluffing about the pages,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2214716"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2214717">and whoops, the coffee was drugged.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2216900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2216901">Night, Barry. Barry!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2218900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2218901">And it's night again. Okay.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2221900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2221901">IT'S THE FUZZ!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2223900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2224650">This is Agent Nightingale, FBI! Get 'em up, Hemingway! You're under arrest!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2229762"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2229763">You move a muscle, I'll unload right in your goddamn face!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2233588">Stay right where you are, little a--!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2236150">Wow. Now, I'm not saying cops wouldn't do this, necessarily, but that is illegal.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2241900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2241901">Alan is unarmed and not posing immediate danger to anyone.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2245533">They're not supposed to use deadly force on him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2248200">I'm standing right here, you goddamn maniac!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2251200">YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I'M THE LAW!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2254100">Good thing Alan is impulsive enough to run and keep our story interesting.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2257733">I wouldn't have run if five cops had guns drawn on me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2260732"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2260733">Alan says he's running because he wants to make his rendezvous with our kidnapper.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2264533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2264534">Yeah, you remember him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2266366">I'm sure that's going to go well,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2268016"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2268017">especially since Alan doesn't have the full manuscript because he was drugged all day.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2272116">Yeah, the kidnapper gave us a callback earlier</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2274155">and wants the manuscript tomorrow at noon.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2276500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2276501">Alan was actually honest with him,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2278083"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2278084">and said he didn't have the ending ready and would have to write it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2281116">Alan asked for a week, the kidnapper only gave him a day and a half.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2284916"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2284917">I mean, really, Alan just needs a typewriter or a computer and printer</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2288166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2288167">and he could write something by noon.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2290316">Hell, I could finish "a story" by tomorrow.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2293533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2293534">The ransom didn't say that it had to be good, just that it had to be finished.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2297166">Well, believe it or not, I think Alan may have taken that approach.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2300783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2300784">We'll come back to that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2302116">As you can see, there's a manhunt for him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2304400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2304401">Though I don't know why, especially since Nightingale is FBI.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2308166">I guess a security cam must have caught him gunning down someone</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2311241">and then they looked at how many people are missing</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2313282"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2313291">and between me and the darkness taking all those other campers,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2316633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2316634">it's probably over a hundred dead by now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2319016"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2319017">And they think it's all me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2320533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2320534">Yeah, I could see local police working with the feds</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2323108">for a spree killer who took out a hundred people.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2325533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2325534">Well, that number is about to get higher.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2328533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2329533">OH!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2330733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2330734">See, that's the nice thing about when sinister forces pursuing you aren't all in your head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2335212">Then they become other people's problems, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2337666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2337667">Hey guys, what's going on?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2339666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2339667">Did you find something?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2341347">[snarls, screams]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2344000">Yeah, sounds like you did.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2346100">An FBI chopper shooting at me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2349175">I'M STILL UNARMED, ASSHOLES!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2351400">Yeah, see, this is above-average aggression for law enforcement.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2355000">This makes me think someone at the FBI</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2357000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2357001">needs me to take the fall for something they can't explain, like the Taken.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2360566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2360567">And that all goes smoother if I'm in the morgue</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2362900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2362901">than if I can give statements to reporters.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2365333">Yeah, those birds suck, don't they?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2367933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2367934">I don't like 'em either.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2370333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2370334">OH!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2371534"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2372800">OHH!!!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2374000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2375334">Well, now things are nice and quiet.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2377433">This is seriously going to bring in the National Guard or something.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2380833">I counted at least ten officers killed,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2383332">three squad cars wrecked,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2384932">and of course the FBI chopper.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2386882">The thing about killing cops is they just send in more cops.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2390932">On the plus side, if you live through this,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2392832"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2392833">this is absolutely going to help your book sales, Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2396332">The radio station! Maybe I can get some help.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2399432">IT'S THE FUZZ!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2401332">Cool your jets, Nightingale. We got him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2404733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2404734">NO! Judas Priest!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2407674"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2407675">What the hell's the matter with you? There's a civilian in there!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2410677"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2410678">I ALWAYS get my man!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2413166">I know almost nothing about him,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2415116">but Agent Nightingale might be my favorite character in this so far.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2418666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2418667">I find as I get older, I dislike passive-aggressive behavior even more,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2422833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2422834">and boy, there is NOTHING passive about him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2426133">He's just there to shoot you in the head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2428533">It's too bad we don't get to know more about him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2430533">I mean, Nightingale is acting like his wife left him earlier this morning.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2434333">There's obviously a lot of motivation going on with him, but we have zero context.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2438933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2438934">That's kind of my problem with the game as a whole.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2441283">For a mystery thriller?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2443083">We're lucky to get 30 seconds of character development,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2445933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2445934">then BAM, it's back to gunning down people in the forest.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2449083">And the thing is, a game about gunning down people in the forest</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2451900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2451901">doesn't need more story than that. But a mystery kind of does.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2456658">Anyway, back to gunning down people in the forest,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2459400">you're killing a lot of law enforcement now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2461933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2461934">Granted, they're only from various sheriff's departments,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2464666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2464667">but I'm not sure what the protocol is</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2466483"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2466484">if dozens and dozens of law enforcement go missing all at once</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2470566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2470567">in a manhunt with lots of gunshots heard.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2473300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2473301">Plus, there is that FBI chopper, so, hmm.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2476833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2476834">And the game adds in a new enemy type.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2478983">Heavy objects possessed by the darkness that fling themselves at you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2482833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2482834">Eh, gameplay-wise, this is just mildly annoying.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2486283">But more importantly, I don't find this that scary.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2489133">I mean, yeah, if a steel beam was headed for my head in reality, that would be scary.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2493466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2493467">But in terms of spookiness, flying objects are kind of bottom-tier.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2497266">That's a different problem I have with the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2499533">As we have all this mystery and intrigue and wandering around the forest at night,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2503966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2503967">and the game's obviously trying to be scary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2506633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2506634">and maybe I'm just too jaded, but it's largely not.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2509966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2509967">So I'm wondering, why is that?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2512266">Now my first thought on this was, your defenses are too good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2515700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2515701">You have buckets of ammo, a flashlight, you're ready for whatever comes at you.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2519966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2519967">I mentioned classic Resident Evil earlier,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2522466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2522467">those are scary, and part of the reason is because you barely have enough ammo.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2527100">It keeps the tension high.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2528950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2528951">But Alan Wake is clearly an action-shooter also.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2532200">So is that the problem?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2533600">Eh... I think that makes it harder to be scarier,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2536500">but no, I don't think that's the core problem.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2538974">Because take F.E.A.R., or DOOM 3,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2541833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2541834">or playing Marines in some of the Aliens vs. Predator games.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2545624">Those are games where you have plenty of ammo, good weapons,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2548966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2548967">lots of action, flashlights, and they're all kind of scary.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2553474">Now they DO rely on some jump scares,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2555933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2555934">but they're still creepy even when they're not doing that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2558833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2558834">So I'm wracking my brain, what's missing from Alan Wake?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2562666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2562667">Well, I don't have the full answer,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2564666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2564667">but I think part of it is the lighting and sound design.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2567666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2567667">The game largely has lighting like it's a bright night with no light pollution,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2571466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2571467">so you can see a lot.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2573133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2573134">Now this looks nice, and it's atmospheric, but darker is scarier.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2577933">And the music... eh, we'll get to that, but it could be scarier, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2582532">I unfortunately don't have the answer to what makes the game scary, only clues.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2587366">But I will show you what I think the scariest part of the game is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2591933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2591934">You ready? Okay, here it is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2594566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2594567">I found some supplies...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2596600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2596601">Exiting the shack...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2598300">Checking around back...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2599980"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2602500">WHOA! There they are.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2605200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2605201">Yeah, see? No music.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2607166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2607167">I was just looking around, then I heard footsteps running up towards me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2611200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2611201">That was scarier to me than any other scene in this game. Sometimes less is more.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2616800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2616801">You know what would be scary is if you didn't have your gun,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2619100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2619101">and if you were walking in the woods and looked behind you,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2622066">and in the distance someone starts following you?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2624666">There's just not enough subtlety here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2626833">Anyway, next we have a boss battle with waves of guys and a possessed bulldozer.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2631532">Then it's day again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2633082">Here there are no enemies, it's just driving around and exploring.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2636882">I actually really enjoyed this as kind of a cool-down from everything earlier.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2641182">And now's a good time to go back before the beginning.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2645182">See, Alan Wake was probably my most anticipated game to play... of 2005.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2651832"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2651833">It was announced for PC,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2653600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2653601">and was going to be an open-world mystery horror action-adventure game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2657566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2657567">Yeah, this video quality is garbage,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2659566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2659567">but you can see you were going to be able to walk and drive all around Bright Falls.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2664666">I'm not sure what game to even compare the concept to.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2667716">Maybe L.A. Noire or Deadly Premonition,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2670950"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2670951">where they're open-world, but the primary focus is an investigation,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2674833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2674834">with the action trying to complement that, not replace it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2678166">But by 2009, Microsoft paid money to stop Alan Wake from being released on Windows,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2684141">and become an Xbox exclusive instead, because that's what they used to do.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2689141">And then it turned into the game we have now, where it's completely linear,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2693066">and we get 30 seconds of character development</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2695479">for every half an hour of gunning people down.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2697941">And if we're being real, that might have been the right choice from a business perspective.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2702891"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2702892">It's a lot easier to sell players, especially Xbox 360 players,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2707700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2707701">on shooting hundreds of guys running at you than some slow-burn grand mystery.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2712800">This reminds me of a Cracked article I saw before critiquing games,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2716300">and while some of these I think are overblown,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2718433">there was one section that always hit home with me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2720954">"Successfully completing those games required me to kill, oh, about 10 million people."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2725904"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2725905">"There was a death on screen almost every 5 seconds."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2728954">"Movies structured this way, 2 minutes of plot and 20 minutes of slaughter,"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2733433">"would be considered grindhouse cheese, direct-to-DVD stuff starring Steven Seagal."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2739154">Now I would say that's not a criticism in itself, but it's all about expectations.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2743904"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2743905">See, I'm guessing what most Alan Wake players wanted</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2747024">was Twin Peaks, but more sinister and dangerous.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2750466">Twin Peaks has its own cult following, so I can't speak for everyone,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2754333">but what I like about it is it has this peaceful,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2756833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2756834">welcoming and scenic atmosphere in the front,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2759600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2759601">and murder, secrets and a portal to another dimension in the back.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2763600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2763601">Add great music, petty crime and just weirdos in general, and it's a great formula.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2769600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2769601">Anyway, the reality is most small towns are incredibly boring,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2773533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2773534">so I wish they would be more like Twin Peaks,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2776300">where you're on the cusp of another reality, with people getting stabbed in the meantime.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2780633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2780634">That's so much more interesting,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2782216"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2782217">and I think that's what a lot of people were looking for with Alan Wake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2785400">Now Remedy says they abandoned the open-world idea</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2788033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2788034">because it made the narrative disjointed and not flow well.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2791066">That's disappointing, but it makes sense.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2793566">But then I think they fell back to what they know,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2796083">which is gunning down dudes over and over again, like in Max Payne.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2800533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2800534">And that works great for Max Payne,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2802466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2802467">because you're expecting a film noir equivalent of a John Woo movie.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2806833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2806834">My problem with Alan Wake is I was HOPING for Twin Peaks,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2809966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2809967">but scarier, with maybe more action,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2812300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2812301">and instead we got almost nothing but action, set in Twin Peaks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2816400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2816401">It could be I was delusional and Microsoft's involvement didn't matter,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2819833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2819834">and this is always going to happen since that's all Remedy knows, but you never know.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2824833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2824834">Anyway, let's talk about the game on its own terms, like the gameplay.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2828833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2828834">The balance here is odd.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2830833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2830834">I'm playing on normal, and the vast majority of it is pretty easy.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2834333">Although apparently normal on PC is the same as hard on the Xbox 360.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2839258">I guess that makes sense. Thumbsticks really can be a handicap.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2843233">The game absolutely showers you with ammo, batteries, flares, and flashbangs.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2848933">I am WAY overstocked for almost every encounter.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2852466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2852467">Also, your health and batteries slowly regenerate up to a point on top of that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2857366">And on top of that, the game has significant aim assistance.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2861733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2861734">It almost feels like I entered in cheat codes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2864333">There are one or two spots that are maybe medium hard, but they're not long at all.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2868933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2868934">And in rare instances, like escaping from the police,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2872466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2872467">I barely had enough lights to keep me going.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2875083">That's the exception to the rule, though.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2877283">90% or more of the game feels like I could've</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2879433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2879434">set up a side business selling surplus supplies.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2882583">It's really uneven, but maybe the devs knew that,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2885333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2885334">so they skewed it in the right direction.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2887483">If I have to choose, I'll always favor a game being too easy over too hard,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2891933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2891934">and that's what's happening here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2893633">Okay, I looked this part up, since I don't think this reveals any of the story.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2897233">On higher difficulties, all the enemies take more hit points,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2900633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2900634">turning them into bullet sponges.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2902583">Look, someone made a chart.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2904483">Now, I'm not a game designer, but bullet sponges are lame.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2908083">If you're adding bullet sponges to increase the difficulty,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2911183">that says to me it's just a slapped-on afterthought.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2914033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2914034">It always sucks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2915633">Figure out how many hit points you want enemies to have</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2917900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2917901">in normal difficulty, and stick to it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2920133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2920134">Increasing the difficulty above normal should never result in more hit points for enemies.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2925633">It could result in more enemies, or less ammo, or you taking more damage.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2930900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2930901">But bullet sponges suck. They reduce the immersion and make the game more tedious.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2935500">Hell, maybe I would run from the cops if I knew their bullets were weak</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2938900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2938901">and couldn't take me down with one shot,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2940933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2940934">and needed to shoot me at least four to six times first.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2944100">Back to the story, you make it to the meeting point, but the kidnapper doesn't show up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2948300">Then calls you, what, eight hours later,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2950566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2950567">saying he changed his mind and wants you to hike up a nearby mountain instead?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2954233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2954234">Yeah, because meeting at night worked out so well last time!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2957900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2957901">See, this is so amateur. This guy is begging to have the police involved.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2962250">So we gun our way through the mining facility,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2964805"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2964806">through the mines, hike our way up the mountain...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2968400">Whoa, WHOA!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2969900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2969901">Whoa, whoa...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2972000">And we finally make it close to the kidnapper,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2973971">but he starts screaming before we get to him,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2976433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2976434">saying he doesn't have Alice, she's probably drowned.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2979400">It sounds like he's apologizing to the ominous lady,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2982050">saying the boss didn't realize who he was messing with.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2984900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2984901">Who's the boss?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2986400">How do you have Alice's driver's license if he doesn't know where she is?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2989950">This guy is just no help at all.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2991900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2992250">*bidibip!*</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2993450"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="2995066">Whoa, whoa, WHOA!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="2998399"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3002000">Alright, yeah, George R. R. Martin definitely couldn't survive this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3006225">Though I don't think Alan can either.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3008500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3008501">Nah, I think that would break his neck.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3011050">But nothing matters, because it's all made up, I guess.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3013950">Alan, wake up! You're in a mental health asylum lodge.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3017901">The doctor is trying to convince you everything was all made up,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3020700">and you should really just write more of your manuscript.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3023300">Why does everyone want this manuscript so much?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3026325">Okay, time to write, time to write.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3028900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3028901">Ungh... urgh... aah... aaargh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3032933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3032934">MY HANDS! IT HURTS!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3036000">You know, if Alan's having writer's block, I've heard of a cure for it before.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3039900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3039901">I'm sure it goes back hundreds of years,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3041866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3041867">but I saw it documented in a comic by the Oatmeal.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3044900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3044901">Step 1, hate yourself.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3046900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3046901">Step 2, drink.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3048650">Step 3, just keep doing that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3050950">See, maybe that's the problem. I haven't seen Alan take one drink this whole game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3055325">Now as far as hating himself, it's hard to say. I feel like he's halfway there.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3059900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3059901">He seems to resent his fans and readers,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3062333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3062334">so that's probably a sign he's on the right path.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3064633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3064634">He probably just needs more of a nudge.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3066783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3066784">Well, he finds a gun and flashlight, and wouldn't you know it,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3069833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3069834">the darkness is back to its old tricks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3072233">It claims the doctor, then it's just gunning and running for hours again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3076783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3076784">That takes us through a hedge maze.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3078783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3078784">And I guess this is a cliche, but it's a good one.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3081783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3081784">This is the perfect spot for one of the Taken to burst through the maze with a chainsaw.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3085958">That doesn't happen, but come on. This would've been the perfect spot for one.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3090083">Oh, and that reminds me. Remember that line at the start?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3093783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3093784">In a horror story, the victim keeps asking why,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3096783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3096784">but there can be no explanation, and there shouldn't be one.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3099729"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3099730">I wanted to come back to that. First off, yes, some mysteries should not be answered.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3104933">That was my main gripe with Puzzle Agent 2, if you recall.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3107883">But it's a tricky balance when you try to write a mystery that way,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3111133">because the mystery by its nature kind of demands answers.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3114500">So you have to figure out which questions are satisfying to answer and which are not.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3118783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3118784">Puzzle Agent 1 did a fantastic job of that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3121783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3121784">But back to chainsaws.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3123400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3123401">The opening is implying that it's important for horror to not explain everything,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3126833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3126834">because that's what stays with us. Like that's some sort of fact.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3130333">Well, sometimes. But what about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3134233">There's not a lot of mystery in that movie. It's relatively cut and dried.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3138566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3138567">Some travelers stumble upon some crazy hillbillies, and they try to kill them.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3142300">I mean, yeah, there's some mystery at first,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3144266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3144267">in that the travelers don't know what's in store for them,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3146900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3146901">but by the end of the movie, there's no real mystery.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3149250">The explanation was some crazy hillbillies kill everyone that comes near them.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3153200">And yet, that does not lessen the impact of the movie at all.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3156666">[chainsaw roaring}</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3160533">Anyway, I'm being nitpicky, but it can bug me sometimes</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3163433">when people make definitive statements like something is the absolute truth.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3167366">You know, like the very start of this game, when they're only sometimes true.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3172466">Oh look, it's Barry. Why not?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3175041">He rescues you, but he's a crappy driver,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3177100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3177101">so you fall off the road and are in the woods again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3179600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3179601">Oh, what's this? Another clue!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3182941">If I continue like the Dark Presence wants me to, the story I'm writing won't save Alice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3187941"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3187942">It's a horror story, and it's going to kill her, and me, and everybody in this town.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3192666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3192667">No one will survive. Darkness will consume everything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3195666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3195667">This is what it's wanted all along. I've written myself into the story.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3200666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3200667">I'm now the protagonist.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3202266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3202267">This feels like a terrible risk, but it's the only way to save Alice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3205866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3205867">I'll be bound by the events of the story</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3207900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3207901">just as much as anyone else who's been woven into it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3210666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3210667">The story must stay true for this to work. There have to be victims along the way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3214333">Near escapes, cliffhangers.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3216433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3216434">In a horror story, it can't be certain that the hero will succeed, or even survive.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3220332"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3220333">Ohhhhhhh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3222833">Good God, maybe I missed this the first time I played.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3226483">This clicked in more for the plot than maybe the past two or three hours of the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3230666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3230667">Well, that clears some things up. Maybe?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3233916"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3233917">Okay, that answers one of my big questions,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3236500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3236501">which is why is the darkness constantly trying to kill Alan</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3240000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3240001">when it wants him to write the manuscript? Those seem at odds.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3243466">I think the answer to that, and maybe many other questions,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3246933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3246934">is because Alan wrote it that way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3249033">So he's having some Inception experience by living in his own novel. I think?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3254133">So wait, does that mean we're on a sublevel of reality inside Alan's story?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3258500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3258501">Or did his story change the current reality?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3261133">Is any of this real, then?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3262983"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3262984">I think the darkness kind of has to be, because none of this happens</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3266166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3266167">in the first place without some supernatural hijinks going on.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3269433">Without the darkness, Alan would still be back at his cabin yelling at his wife.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3273483">But okay, if he had to escape the darkness by writing his way out of it,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3277483">it begs the question of why didn't he "write the darkness suddenly went away,"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3281166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3281167">"and bunnies began hopping around and everyone started giving him high fives"?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3285133">Seems like that would be a lot easier. So what did Alan write?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3288600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3288601">Well, we can find out, actually.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3290600">All those manuscript pages we've been collecting around the forest?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3293616"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3293617">You can read them!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3294966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3294967">Now, I don't have all of them, but I got most, and I was thinking,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3298033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3298034">"Oh, maybe this story is a bit like an alternate reality game,"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3301733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3301734">"where you have to read what Alan wrote to get the full picture."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3304600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3304601">I mentioned before how Rama the game and Rama 2 the book are a little like that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3309400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3309401">They're very complementary to each other.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3311550">Nope. There's barely any information here you don't get just from playing the game,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3316400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3316401">and almost every page is just Alan describing exactly what happened,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3320066">often without any context to the page that came before it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3323316">So Alan's story is him writing, "And then there was a guy with a chainsaw!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3327600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3327601">"And then some pipe flew at me!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3330066">"And then some bulldozer chased me!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3332766">I mean, sure, Alan gives it some more flair,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3335233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3335234">but this structure is like middle- or even elementary-school level.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3339566">It doesn't matter now since it was all a ruse,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3342133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3342134">but Alan could have easily met the kidnapper's deadline earlier</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3345266">and finished the manuscript in time if this is all it was.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3348266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3348267">Hell, I could have written this!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3350316">"And then I went to the gas station!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3353150">"And then I had some beef jerky!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3356086"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3356087">"And then I drove around looking for buried treasure,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3359016"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3359017">"but all I found were more batteries!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3361246">Easy. I could have had that manuscript by tomorrow.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3364366">I wonder if Alan's other books are written this way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3367416">They're crime detective novels about Alex Casey,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3370200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3370201">which is a spoof on Max Payne, best I can tell.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3373100">"And then Alex kicked in the door!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3375600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3375601">"And then Alex shot a bunch of bad guys!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3378400">"And then there was a car chase!"</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3380866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3380867">If so, I might be starting to understand Alan's resentment</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3384233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3384234">towards his readers if they're eating that up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3386929"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3386930">Well, we'll come back to the darkness, but first we run to a farm,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3390179">meet up with Barry, and are on the property of the washed-up rockers from earlier,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3394633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3394634">and one of their songs starts playing on stage with fireworks going off.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3398500">Yeah, see, this is another example of the game sacrificing one mood for another.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3403225">In a normal action-adventure,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3405300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3405301">having some shootout climax while a pseudo-rock concert is going on is fine.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3409766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3409767">It's a little goofy, but it can work for that genre.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3412600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3412601">But since this is supposed to be survival horror,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3415466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3415467">the player is supposed to be on edge and scared.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3418700">Well, this just trivializes the Taken as a threat,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3422000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3422001">making everything look fun and stylish.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3424533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3424534">That's different from comic relief. Barry's comic relief.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3428133">This is making fun of the threat itself.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3430784">If you're doing that, what are you supposed to be scared of, then?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3433833">I mean, I guess I wasn't getting scared prior to this, so there's not much loss,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3438700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3438701">but this is putting nails in the coffin for me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3441266">Um... let's talk about the music.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3443891"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3443892">The music in Alan Wake is a little complicated.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3446400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3446401">It can be divided into three or four categories.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3449200">There were one or two band tracks created for the game,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3451700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3451701">like the one for this concert, and yeah, it sounds alright.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3455500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3455501">It's the usage I have an issue with, not the song.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3458634"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3458635">There's music you hear on the radio, which sounded like some of it was good,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3462867"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3462868">but it never stuck around for more than ten seconds,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3465166">since that would bring the game to a halt otherwise.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3467633">Same goes for the music at the end of the episodes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3470400">You have to stop everything you're doing to listen to it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3473200">So if you just play the game normally,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3475200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3475201">and not stop and do nothing for five minutes when a track is playing,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3479050">you might be missing half the music in the game. I am.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3482700">Now both the radio and episode music are record label music,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3485900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3485901">which were on a temporary license,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3488100">hence why the game got delisted back in 2017.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3491550">Though I guess they were able to work out the issues for now</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3494100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3494101">and brought most of the music back.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3495733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3495734">I've seen some people say the game has a great soundtrack.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3498966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3498967">They're probably talking about the record label music.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3501650">I kind of consider that cheating for a soundtrack,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3504067">since that's not composing anything new.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3506150">It's just a playlist of existing music.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3508700">Well, on that note, there's also the musical score composed for the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3513000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3513001">I guess first the positive.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3514633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3514634">There are a few good themes in here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3516633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3516634">I like how the menu music starts out mysteriously.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3519633">[haunting ambience] ["Alan Wake" by Petri Alanko]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3524332"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3524333">The Bright Falls theme is good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3526633">[soaring strings] ["Welcome to Bright Falls" by Petri Alanko]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3533933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3533950">The flashback music is good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3536233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3537599">[mournful piano] ["Vacation" by Petri Alanko]</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3545849"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3545850">But a lot of the music is semi-generic.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3549033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3549058">Moreover, let's not forget the game is competing against Twin Peaks here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3553283">And no, this doesn't approach Twin Peaks synth symphony quality.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3557766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3557767">You can't expect people not to compare the soundtrack to Twin Peaks</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3561200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3561201">when it's dropping so many references.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3563166">But the bigger problem is the generic-ish music in the woods isn't very scary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3567966">which I think undercuts a lot of the fear factor.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3570766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3570767">Plus this theme.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3572291">You're going to hear this theme over and over and over again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3576791">It got to the point where I was considering turning the music off entirely,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3580766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3580767">but I didn't want to miss the original tracks for events later in the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3584366">That's actually a common problem in games,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3586566">where they compose the music like it's for a movie, but they're games.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3590565"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3590566">So by playing the game like a normal person,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3592966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3592967">some music tracks you'll hear once, others you'll hear over a hundred times.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3597565"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3597566">Or in the case of Alan Wake, half of them you'll only hear the first ten seconds of.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3602666">So it's not awful,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3603933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3603934">but I'm not as impressed by the soundtrack as the rest of the internet.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3607341">I think it's serviceable, but this is a game that called for more.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3611166">Well after the concert, Alan and Barry decide that despite</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3614104">killing a hundred more locals in the immediate vicinity,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3617116">it's safe enough to crash at the nearby house.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3619941"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3619942">They get drunk first, too.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3621991">I'm a writer, goddammit. Correct!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3625025">If I just wanted to, I could write ten books a year,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3628933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3628934">and they'd be the best books that year.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3631233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3631234">Hey, there we go! Respect the confidence!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3634900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3634901">It looks like that comic was right!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3636900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3636901">So I guess the trip worked! You solved your writer's block, Alan!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3640900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3640901">And they go to sleep, even though I really can't emphasize</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3643611">how many guys we killed just ten minutes earlier.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3646700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3646701">But good thing for us, he dreams about the plot and remembers everything that happened.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3650700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3650701">He came out of the water and the darkness halfway infected Alan,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3654300">leaving him in a trance and telling him to write the manuscript.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3657566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3657567">Best I can tell, the darkness can change reality, but not much on its own.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3661900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3661901">It needs a writer or creative person to do so.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3664900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3664901">I don't think the darkness actually cares about the story,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3667633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3667634">as long as it ends with "the darkness takes over everything".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3670800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3670801">But Alan was in a haze and managed to write the escape for himself</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3673800"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3673801">with the help of another writer from the 70s, Thomas Zane,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3677166">that's also trapped in the darkness, but I guess he's okay because he has a diving suit.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3681866">So he comes in and says "I've got this, bro."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3684133">Alan escapes, still in a haze, then gets in the car wreck.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3688108">Meanwhile, the darkness is so pissed,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3690166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3690167">it drags Zane down and erases the island entirely.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3693358">Then that brings us to Alan waking up.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3695633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3695634">So a few things going on here. I see why I was confused the first time around.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3700633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3700634">The game is explaining itself, it's just leaving a lot to interpretation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3705200">This is answering a lot of my list.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3707500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3707501">So all the locals are trying to kill Alan because Alan wrote it that way,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3711366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3711367">to make it more suspenseful, I guess.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3713633">The darkness doesn't really benefit from killing Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3716500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3716501">It wants to take over the world and he's the best chance of making that happen.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3720266">So it's unclear how much agency the darkness has,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3723200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3723201">and how much of it is bound to Alan living his own story.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3726366">It could be the darkness is powerless to impact anything until the story finishes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3731116">But the big question is, what is this?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3733566">Is he inside his novel in a separate reality?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3736633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3736634">Or is this the real world, that the darkness and Alan are reshaping?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3740433">When the island disappeared, nobody had any memory of it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3743633">That implies either the darkness erased it from the timeline itself,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3747058">or we've shifted to an alternate timeline where it does that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3750308">This also answers the question of why Alan couldn't just write a nice and happy outcome.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3754466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3754467">He was barely conscious, it sounds like.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3757000">So this was the best he could come up with.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3759050">It seems like the darkness needed to infect Alan just a little bit.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3762450">Too much and Alan becomes a zombie like the others,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3765200">but not enough and Alan won't cooperate.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3767650">That makes me wonder if he were to start writing more pages</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3770300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3770301">if he would actively change this reality,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3772900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3772901">or if it needs to be one level up for that to work,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3775333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3775334">and he's trapped in what he already wrote.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3777400">Now Alan talks about how the story has to follow a certain flow,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3780966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3780967">but I think that's all in his head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3782900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3782901">Best I can tell, it only has to follow that flow</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3785533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3785534">because he thinks it has to follow that flow.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3788275">I'm pretty sure he can write whatever he wants, but he doesn't believe that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3792900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3792917">And I guess we'll never know, since Alan keeps having writers block because he's not drinking.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3796950">Your sobriety is causing an existential crisis, Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3800350">And one thing I'm left wondering is</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3801966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3801967">how many people in the story even existed two weeks ago?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3805600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3805601">Did Alan's writing will them into existence?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3808400">Or better yet, my first thought was that everyone you encounter</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3811533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3811534">before he dives into the lake is real.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3814100">But, since we saw the island disappearing was retroactive,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3817900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3817901">maybe everyone Alan encounters didn't exist until Alan wrote about them,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3821950">but he sees them before the fact because of how the darkness manipulates time.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3826350">That would actually be a really clever twist.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3829050">But it would be so clever that the game shouldn't bury that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3832250">That should be front and center if that's where they were going.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3835050">Plus, you could do way, way more with that concept if that's what they were going for.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3839900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3839901">Give people a proper head trip.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3842000">I'm not sure we have any clues as to what this flavor of reality is,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3845900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3845925">or if the game even knows itself, or wants that established.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3849533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3849534">So this could be a sub-reality, current reality, alternate reality.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3854533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3854534">I'm not sure there are any wrong answers now.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3856766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3856767">So yeah, you may as well drink, Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3859016">Hey, look who it is! Our favorite, Agent Nightingale.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3862916">He takes you back to jail! Uh-oh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3866016">But then it goes dark and Alan has another headache.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3868400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3868401">Wake, what's wrong?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3869633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3869634">Lady, are you stupid? It's a trick! It's an obvious trick!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3873333">Okay, I've had enough of this crap. Wake, I'm gonna trust you with this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3877100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3877101">You're joking!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3878133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3878134">Agent Nightingale, your opinion would matter more if you were sober...</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3881733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3881734">Uh-oh!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3882783">...and if I actually believed you were here on official business.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3885598"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3885599">Whoa!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3886666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3886667">Do it! Just start shooting, Nightingale.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3889400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3889401">Shooting unarmed suspects in a cell will look great on your report.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3893400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3896333">Well, so much for his character.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3898333">So much for everybody, really.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3900308">You escape and the game becomes even easier by having the sheriff help you as an NPC,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3904883">whom I think is invincible and has unlimited ammo.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3908083">This leads up to another wave survival segment.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3910983">Quick, get to the chopper!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3912833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3912834">Off to the power plant!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3914383">Oh no! The Taken have an RPG!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3916833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3916834">I mean, birds!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3918183">Bail! Bail!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3919883">Yeah, I think the game has mostly given up on the whole</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3922666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3922667">mystery, suspense and survival horror thing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3925566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3925567">There's some plot development with the lamp lady</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3927500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3927501">being a lover of Zane's from the 70s, but who cares?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3930633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3930634">The time for talking about that was back before it was revealed</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3933300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3933301">that all of reality may be an illusion.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3935766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3935767">Alan becomes convinced he needs to head back to the lake to fill it with light,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3939100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3939101">because I guess the sun isn't bright enough.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3941033">And for some reason, everything past this point starts feeling kind of depressing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3945333">In the same way I don't know why the game isn't that scary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3948400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3948401">I don't know why the drive up feels depressing,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3950733">but the rest of the game didn't feel that way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3953066">I guess something with the lighting and the framing of all this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3956316">According to the manuscript, the darkness has decided Alan is just a liability now,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3960333"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3960334">and it's better to just kill him.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3961866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3961867">But Alan's the one writing this,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3963616"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3963617">so we don't really know what the truth is until "Departure" is over.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3966866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3966867">It gets more and more gamey, too, with falling train cars, car jumps,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3971466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3971467">a sort of demolition derby in a junkyard with another bulldozer, and a minecart ride.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3976766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3976767">It ends with you confronting the darkness tornado and shooting it with a flare.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3980766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3980767">Then Alan jumps into the lake again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3982916">Sure, why not?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3984766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3984767">From here onward, he kind of enters a dreamlike state with disjointed images</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3988766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3988767">that are mostly just recycled assets and blackness swirling around them.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3992891">And everything still has this depressing vibe.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3995533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3995534">It's really just Alan being disoriented over and over again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="3999533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="3999534">He meets his appointed doppelganger, Mr. Scratch,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4002533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4002534">and eventually catches up with the ominous lady and stuffs a light grenade inside her.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4006533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4006534">Well, that looks like it did something, but everything is still dark and tinted.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4011233">And then he writes an ending where he saves Alice,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4013883"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4013884">but at the cost of sacrificing himself to the darkness.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4016883"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4017133">I knew how to write the ending to "Departure".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4020033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4020833">There's light and there's darkness.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4023183">Cause and effect. There's guilt and there's atonement.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4026200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4026201">But the scales always need to balance.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4028348">Everything has a price. That's where Zane had gone wrong.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4031204"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4031205">Yeah, that's kind of bullshit.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4033200">Okay, everything needs balance. Fine.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4036000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4036001">Last time I checked, the darkness has already claimed what? 300 people? Maybe more?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4042000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4042001">Seems like that already should more than cover the tab for releasing Alice, but whatever.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4046666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4046667">Alan's hung up on himself, so he has to do the noble sacrifice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4050666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4050667">Then we get a flyby of the town,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4052500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4052501">reminding me how this all used to be open world, but I can't explore it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4056433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4056434">And Rose and Nightingale are still infected by the Darkness.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4060210"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4060566">It's not a lake. It's an ocean.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4065233">"My God. It's full of stars."</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4068500">Then we get the credits and "Space Oddity" by David Bowie starts playing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4072575">Eh, that's pretty lame.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4075500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4075501">This started off so much better than it ended.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4078433">But wait! Once upon a time, when DLC was really taking off,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4082983">there was a joke that, in the future,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4085100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4085101">companies would sell you the game, then sell you the ending as DLC.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4089183">This was literally a joke.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4091300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4091301">I think there was even a webcomic on it, but I couldn't find it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4094333">Yeah, you can see where this is going.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4096783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4096784">I imagine this part is probably Microsoft's influence, but that's not the full ending.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4102033">Though it's not obvious in the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4104183">After the credits, you're kicked back to the menu,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4106600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4106601">and if you press continue, you just repeat the final segment.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4109783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4109784">You have to go to "Episodes".</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4111933">Yeah, there we go. The Alan Wake Christmas Special.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4115433">What to say about the DLC?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4117983">It's both more creative and more mundane.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4120783"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4120784">The concept here is Alan is trapped in the darkness and inside his head.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4125083">But the also-trapped Thomas Zane sends you a busted GPS telling you to follow it,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4129600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4129601">but keeps saying you're going the wrong way.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4131700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4131701">Now seeing what's inside the darkness</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4133716"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4133717">is a tremendous opportunity for the game to go nuts.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4136767">And it sort of does, in the most pedestrian way possible for this sort of thing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4141400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4141401">Almost everything is a reused asset from earlier,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4144400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4144401">like you're walking through a remix from the original game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4147100">It's just Alan reliving the Taken running at him and hearing his own self-doubt.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4151900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4151901">So if Alan wasn't introspective and ruminating enough already,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4155766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4155767">this throws that all into overdrive.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4157900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4157901">We're not really seeing the darkness. We're looking at a shattered mirror of Alan.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4162900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4162901">I didn't like it. Something about the tone feels more depressing than scary again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4167150">I'm here for the frights, mystery, and intrigue, not the depression.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4171250">The TV face is cool though, I'll give them that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4174275">At the end of the first one, you beat the boss, then wake up out of your own mind,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4178466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4178467">but are still stuck in the cabin in the darkness at the bottom of the lake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4181933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4181958">Then the next DLC acts like the first ending never happened,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4185100"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4185101">and you have to break out of your mind again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4187383">Like the previous one, it's 90% reused assets with self-reflection and brooding,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4192133">just with a lot more things floating in space,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4194250"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4194251">and more platforming than the entire rest of the game.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4196933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4196934">I wouldn't call this an improvement.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4199158">Then you defeat another boss, wake up in the cabin, again,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4203458">except this time you're going to write a new novel to make your way out.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4207208">Eh, I guess that's a little better.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4209383">For all I know, they had a third DLC planned</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4211733"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4211734">where Alan is trapped in his own head to wake up in the cabin again.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4215383">That's where it felt like this was going.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4217383">Not exactly hell, but purgatory for sure.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4220600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4220601">And two years later, we got... I don't know, I wouldn't call it a full game,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4225166"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4225167">more like a standalone DLC, Alan Wake's American Nightmare.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4229433">I didn't get into this one.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4231108">First off, the game starts off explaining it's not real,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4233933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4233934">it's just a Twilight Zone episode.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4235958"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4235959">Except it kind of is real?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4237958"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4237959">The Alan Wake series doesn't like to commit to what's real or not.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4241158">Also, it's in the damn desert.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4243258">So that's a huge downgrade compared to Bright Falls for me,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4246433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4246434">but that's my own personal bias.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4248567">He is part of a conflict between darkness and light that is both ancient and eternal.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4255533">Yeah, see, this is explaining more, and that's not the problem.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4259208">The problem is the explanation isn't very good.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4261958"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4261959">So this is an ancient battle of light versus darkness, yada yada.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4266058">Yeah, I was kind of afraid this is where things were going.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4269158">The plot here is you're trying to clean up the mess</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4271266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4271267">of your darkness-appointed doppelganger.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4273308">And this gets me to the core problem,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4274966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4274967">which is the darkness isn't weird or mysterious enough.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4278358">There's even a page in the manuscript talking about how alien it is.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4282058">But it's pretty pedestrian, really.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4284500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4284501">Pro tip, if your antagonist is an entity from</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4288300">another dimension, you really can't play that safe.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4290600">There's a few ways to take it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4292400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4292401">Get weird, like the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4296400">Get really weird, like the ending to 2001</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4299900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4299901">or the guy metastasizing in Altered States.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4302566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4302567">The message being this is beyond human comprehension what's going on here.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4306466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4306467">We can only grasp broad strokes.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4308700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4308701">Or the tried-and-true approach;</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4310700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4310701">just invoke H.P. Lovecraft.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4312900">You don't have to follow him to a T.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4314700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4314701">But the idea that we're insignificant in the universe and all these</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4317900"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4317901">freaked out monstrosities is what's closer to reality is always a solid fallback.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4322700"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4322701">Inside the darkness, all Alan sees are swirling objects, guys running at him,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4327366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4327367">and his doppelganger telling him how much he sucks. Lame.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4331366"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4331367">While the movie had other issues, in The Gorge,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4334533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4334534">when a guy falls into the Forbidden Zone,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4336766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4336767">the first thing that happens is he's almost eaten by this freak carnivorous tree.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4340600"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4340601">Now that's a proper greeting for some unknown evil entity,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4344200">and that one wasn't even from another dimension.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4346700">If the darkness is as alien as the game claims it is,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4349933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4349934">it needs to friggin' act like it.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4351699"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4351700">I can forgive plot holes and lack of narrative</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4354300"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4354301">if the destination is worth the trip, but I felt let down.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4357699"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4357700">And I guess that's Alan Wake,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4359533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4359534">though I know I'm doing myself a disservice having not played the sequel yet.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4363433">Since, for all I know, it fixes everything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4366000">Part of me didn't want to before making this though,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4368533"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4368534">since I've noticed the phenomena before where, when answers come after the fact,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4372283">people can bandwagon like they knew it all along</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4374833">and effectively erase their memory as to how things went down.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4378066">Especially since, looking at it now,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4380000"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4380001">I'm pretty sure there's not one single explanation to Alan Wake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4383633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4383634">A part of it is meant to be interpreted.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4385633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4385634">This episode actually didn't go down how I thought it would.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4388866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4388867">I thought, since I couldn't remember what happened,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4391200">it was because the story devolved into nonsense and I couldn't understand anything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4395375">But no, looking at my list, while I'm not confident of all my answers,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4399633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4399634">I think I mostly figured it out, with some parts being multiple choice.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4403633"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4403634">See, I thought the storytelling was going to end up</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4406033"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4406034">somewhere in between Dark Souls and Lost.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4408933">What I mean by that is Dark Souls has a story that</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4411400"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4411401">I would consider not fit for public consumption.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4414183">It's there exclusively for lore scholars</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4417200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4417201">who want to try and figure it out as a giant puzzle,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4419566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4419567">like some sort of cultural anthropologist.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4422333">Even now, I'm taking it having a story on faith,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4425466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4425467">that the people who do understand it are telling the truth</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4428233">and there actually is something thought out behind all these seemingly random elements.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4432533">But on the flip side of that, you have Lost,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4435033">where it was very cryptic and mysterious and nothing was really making sense,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4439283">only to discover by the end that, yeah, the writers had no explanation.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4443233">They were just making all this up as they went.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4445533">Oh sure, they tried to pass one off at the end,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4447934">but it was so obvious they didn't have any answers.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4451133">There's a whole lot of games out there now that fall somewhere on this spectrum,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4454633">where you don't know if the writer is being clever and just burying the story,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4458466"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4458467">or if they're just faking everything and pretending to have a story,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4461766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4461767">hoping some YouTuber will make up a coherent explanation</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4464566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4464567">out of random crap they throw on the screen.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4466766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4466767">And if you're like me, as just a player not wanting to do post-graduate research</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4470766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4470767">on what the damn plot is, you can't tell which is which.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4474500">I was afraid Alan Wake was going to be like that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4477450"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4477451">But no, I think they actually have the right balance</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4480566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4480567">of mystery versus explanation that they were aiming for,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4483550"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4483551">where it's coherent enough, but doesn't explain everything.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4487233">The problem is, it's way too reserved, has an anemic story for being about a writer,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4492283">isn't that scary,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4493666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4493667">and was built up to be like something that was going to blow your mind, but didn't.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4497608">Okay, this is going to sound harsher than how I'm intending it,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4500800">but I look at Alan Wake, and it makes me think of Duke Nukem Forever.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4504799"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4504800">Both games have reveals that blew everyone away, were super ambitious,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4509133">were in production for years after the fact,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4511666">and the end results feel like a sampler of the original vision that got scaled down.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4516233">Now obviously, Alan landed on his feet better than Duke,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4519408">but it still has that feeling of getting duct-taped together</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4521933"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4521934">from pieces of something better.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4523666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4523667">I mean, as an action-adventure game, Alan Wake is relatively solid.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4527566"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4527567">It was mostly fun to play, but everything else felt kind of like a bait-and-switch.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4532133">I mentioned it earlier, but the real doppelganger of Alan Wake isn't Mr. Scratch.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4536858"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4536859">It's Deadly Premonition.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4538666"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4538667">If you look at the strengths and weaknesses of Alan Wake, it's almost a complete inverse.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4543500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4543501">Deadly Premonition is way closer to the Twin Peaks experience, but a lot more Japanese.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4549033">It also desperately needed polish, if not a complete rework of the fundamentals,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4554033">put the investigation and the story building first,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4557133">and is just awkward on every level in the best and worst ways.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4561233"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4569133">I think what's going on</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4570500"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4570501">is there's a certain audience hungry for the Twin Peaks experience,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4573866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4573867">and even flawed executions like this can be rare in gaming.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4577216">Especially in 2010.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4578866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4578867">And to have this level of production value and marketing behind it is almost unheard of.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4583866"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4583867">So of course people flocked to this.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4586116">So in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4589516">Games going for this kind of small town, surreal mystery horror</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4593133"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4593134">are few and far between, so we'll take what we can get.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4596166">And since Alan Wake 2 exists, I guess everyone knows how this turns out except me.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4601266">I will say based on the events of 1, I'm not sure what to expect,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4604966">though they better not sweep the impact of all this under the carpet.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4608116">Alan kills maybe 300 people or more. I'm just guessing.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4612216">And who knows how many are infected and have gone missing on top of that.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4616266">The chopper going down and a federal agent gone missing</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4618966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4618967">would get some attention from the FBI.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4620916">Probably the same with dozens of sheriffs and deputies being killed.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4624800">Well, I say 'killed'.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4626516"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4626517">Almost everyone goes missing because they all turn into sparks with no trace.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4630625"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4630626">So we're gonna have hundreds of people missing all at the same time,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4634266">including 50 or so cops and Alan Wake.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4637541">I'd say this is likely to either make people abandon Bright Falls altogether,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4641433"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4641434">since it will be considered cursed,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4643441">or become a tourist trap of sorts, because it's considered cursed.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4647833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4647834">Kind of like what happened to Burkittsville, Maryland</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4649966"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4649967">after the Blair Witch Project came out.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4652066">Even though that was just a movie, they got bombarded by sightseekers afterwards.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4656833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4656834">Also, Bright Falls is in Washington,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4659200"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4659201">so you're gonna have Bigfoot hunters after all this, 100%.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4662833"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4662834">The darkness takeover and disappearances</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4665266"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4665267">might end up being the best thing to ever happen to the Bigfoot industry.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4669333">Alright, that's the episode.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4671183">I guess this one wasn't the most fitting for Halloween,</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4673766"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4673767">but that's kind of the problem, isn't it?</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4676133">Ah, well. See ya!</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4677493"> </SYNC> <SYNC Start="4691433">Now, place your left ring finger in the undulating bug next to your keyboard.</SYNC> <SYNC Start="4700083"> </SYNC> </BODY> </SAMI>
- Sunday at 09:57 AM
- 1 reply
The industry is lobbying against Stop Killing Games!

Randrye posted a topic in English

1 00:00:00,150 --> 00:00:04,246 Hello! I have a development on the "Stop Killing Games" campaign. 2 00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:09,670 Now, as I mentioned earlier, it's recently crossed the one million signature mark. 3 00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:11,537 Though I'm assuming nothing. 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,320 In fact, I've been given stats that there was a previous initiative 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,110 that had 250,000 of its signatures invalidated. 6 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,620 And I could see us setting a new record there. 7 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,287 So keep signing. That's the first thing. 8 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:29,060 Second, for anyone who doubts how powerful this initiative can be, 9 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:33,700 we now have a lobbying group issuing a statement about us. 10 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,580 Do you think if we had no chance of changing things, 11 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:39,600 we would have lobbyists coming out against us? 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,010 Well, a big one is Video Games Europe. 13 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,550 Best I can tell, this is essentially the voice of the industry. 14 00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:49,670 So of course they're going to be against any proposal we make, 15 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:53,960 because they're ideologically opposed to us being able to retain our games. 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,427 I really can't emphasize that enough. 17 00:00:56,500 --> 00:01:00,148 Even if every developer in the world was for our proposal, 18 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,990 the industry would still be against it. 19 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:06,470 Because it's not developers who make most of the big decisions. 20 00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:09,414 It's shareholders and companies worth billions. 21 00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:13,485 So with that in mind, let's go through this statement quick by our opposition here. 22 00:01:13,485 --> 00:01:15,990 "We appreciate the passion of our community. 23 00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:20,290 "However, the decision to discontinue online services is multifaceted, 24 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:23,120 "never taken lightly, and must be an option for companies 25 00:01:23,121 --> 00:01:26,702 "when an online experience is no longer commercially viable." 26 00:01:26,702 --> 00:01:30,150 Well, I have great news for you, Video Games Europe. 27 00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:35,014 We are in no way seeking to impede your right to discontinue online services. 28 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:38,666 We are saying you can shut down your games whenever you want. 29 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,270 But you have to do that responsibly, 30 00:01:41,270 --> 00:01:45,622 in a way that doesn't take back rights you already sold to customers. 31 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,190 Yeah, some people forget that companies have to sell you some rights to begin with, 32 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,066 to even play the games. 33 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,600 "We understand that it can be disappointing for players, 34 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,415 "but when it does happen, the industry ensures that players are given fair notice 35 00:01:58,415 --> 00:02:02,840 "of the prospective changes in compliance with local consumer protection laws." 36 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:07,860 Okay, well first off, I'm not a lawyer, but this guy at WBS Legal is. 37 00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:11,613 And he thinks Ubisoft probably broke the law when it shut down "The Crew", 38 00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:13,990 giving players only three months notice, 39 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:16,500 when they should have given more like two years. 40 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,540 Yeah, you know. Ubisoft? One of your members? 41 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:23,560 So this is probably a false statement out the gate. 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,200 But you know what? That's not even our issue. 43 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,350 So I don't even care how much notice you're giving the players. 44 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:33,333 What I care about is that you're not depriving them of their purchase. 45 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:37,400 "Private servers are not always a viable alternative option for players, 46 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,300 "as the protections we put in place to secure players' data, 47 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:43,960 "remove illegal content, and combat unsafe community content, 48 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,110 "would not exist and would leave rights holders liable." 49 00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:50,600 Okay, several things here. We have to break it down. 50 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,730 "Private servers are not always a viable alternative option." 51 00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:59,240 So they're saying for a new game concept, which hasn't even been made yet, 52 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,993 sometimes there is NO WAY they can add an end-of-life plan to the design? 53 00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:07,802 Their programmers' fingers simply can't type that? 54 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,808 I would love to see them say this to a room full of developers. 55 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,450 I think the industry would be surprised how viable it was 56 00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:18,470 if the law said you can't take back the limited license rights 57 00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:20,400 you already sold to the customer. 58 00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:24,160 And this next part. Yes, this part is true. 59 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:28,470 Players will absolutely be getting a rougher and more wild experience 60 00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,160 playing an unsupported game. 61 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,177 I happen to know a thing or two about that. 62 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:37,266 So yes, that's the nature of anything unsupported. 63 00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:41,394 That's not a good excuse to destroy what people paid for. 64 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,270 It just means they're on their own. 65 00:03:43,270 --> 00:03:45,270 But then they say this part: 66 00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:47,840 "It would leave rights holders liable." 67 00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:49,566 Okay, I am not a lawyer, 68 00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:53,750 but my first impression is, this strikes me as very not true. 69 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,933 The way I read this, they're saying they are 70 00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:58,950 incapable of writing an end-user license agreement 71 00:03:58,950 --> 00:04:02,020 that absolves them of all liability on shutdown. 72 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:06,710 Like planning for end-of-life, apparently it's just not possible. 73 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,340 So me, as a layman, 74 00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:12,020 I'm wondering what's the problem with adding a line like this to the EULA? 75 00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:16,586 "Once our company ends support, we are not responsible for any and all issues 76 00:04:16,586 --> 00:04:19,333 "that arise from users continuing to operate the game 77 00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:21,960 "in a discontinued and unsupported state, 78 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:26,833 "and absolve ourselves from any and all liability pertaining to its continued use." 79 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:30,500 There's probably a better way to say that, but you get the idea. 80 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:34,620 They seem to be saying a line like that is just impossible to write. 81 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,564 See, I'm puzzled by this, because as a consumer, 82 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:40,680 I've seen all kinds of things have support end, 83 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,752 but I still get to keep them; I'm just on my own. 84 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:46,140 That's a very common thing. 85 00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:49,433 I think we need a lawyer to weigh in on this. 86 00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:51,430 So if we take them at their word, 87 00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:54,520 it sounds like they're concerned about protecting customers. 88 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,933 Okay, but their solution is customers must have 89 00:04:57,934 --> 00:05:00,580 their purchase taken away from them forever. 90 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:05,390 "We have to destroy our customers' games to protect them from themselves." 91 00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:09,480 I normally don't like to use this phrase because it's thrown around too much, 92 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,120 but this is beyond 'Nanny State' 93 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,587 This is more like 'Terminator State'. 94 00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:17,417 Take a game like "Starsiege: Tribes". 95 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:22,415 For all purposes, that's a game intended to run online, with other people, 96 00:05:22,415 --> 00:05:24,815 or over a network at the very least. 97 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,853 It was discontinued in 2004, but you can still run it today. Online. 98 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,450 This lobbying group seems to be saying that's a liability. 99 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,690 "No one should have been permitted to run this game after 2004, 100 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:40,580 "and it's a mistake that this game is still allowed to exist 101 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,780 "because of the risk to consumers. 102 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:47,870 "We would have destroyed every last copy of it back in 2004 if we could have. 103 00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:50,440 "We couldn't then, but we can now. 104 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,340 "So that's our business model with new games." 105 00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:57,240 See, I take that as extremely hostile, 106 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,573 to both customers and preservation. 107 00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:06,070 So my question is, why can't we allow customers to continue playing the game, 108 00:06:06,071 --> 00:06:09,046 but adding a splash screen saying something like, 109 00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:12,340 "Warning! This game is no longer supported. 110 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:15,110 "Running it could represent a risk to your security. 111 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:18,694 "We assume no liability for what may happen as a result." 112 00:06:18,951 --> 00:06:21,751 That strikes me as a reasonable compromise. 113 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:26,630 "In addition, many titles are designed from the ground-up to be online only. 114 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:30,095 "In effect, these proposals would curtail developer choice 115 00:06:30,095 --> 00:06:33,675 "by making these video games prohibitively expensive to create." 116 00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:38,135 Okay, this part is a little more complicated because every game is different. 117 00:06:38,135 --> 00:06:39,806 But when I see this, 118 00:06:39,807 --> 00:06:43,860 I'm thinking of auto manufacturers saying how they can't afford to make cars 119 00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,340 if they're required to include seatbelts in them. 120 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:49,860 Because no one ever made that argument back in the 60's. 121 00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:54,890 However, I think there is a big piece being left out of the discussion here. 122 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:58,950 A whole lot of the complexity and cost of making an online game 123 00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:01,460 comes from all the microservices involved. 124 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:02,870 And guess what? 125 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:06,870 We don't need the vast majority of them for an end-of-life build. 126 00:07:06,870 --> 00:07:11,385 I talked to a developer and he gave me a big list of examples we don't need. 127 00:07:11,385 --> 00:07:16,630 Payment processing, anti-cheat, analytics, voice chat. 128 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:21,300 There's so much here that's not necessary to just run the damn game. 129 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,425 In fact, I have a quote from him. 130 00:07:23,425 --> 00:07:26,390 "We are not asking for 98% of the game. 131 00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:30,834 "We're asking for the 2% of game logic for main gameplay functionality." 132 00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:35,900 Except even that's not true. We're not asking for that directly. 133 00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:39,240 We're asking for the same rights we already bought for the game, 134 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,528 which they can probably fulfill by providing that 2%, as he puts it. 135 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:47,005 So let's cut out all this extra crap 136 00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:51,750 before we start talking about how cost-prohibitive an end-of-life build is. 137 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:56,346 Now, that does mean designing games so it's easier to turn off all these microservices 138 00:07:56,347 --> 00:07:58,020 is a very good idea. 139 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:02,770 And that also means it may not be practical for some existing games. 140 00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:06,660 Good thing for the industry the initiative is not retroactive. 141 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:10,980 And most publishers already have a local test environment for a game, 142 00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:13,990 which I'm told is bad practice not to. 143 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,070 That's half the battle right there. 144 00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:17,510 So this statement? 145 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,805 No. This one is meme-level. 146 00:08:19,805 --> 00:08:24,660 I do not believe the industry when they say this is so expensive it's not possible. 147 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:27,380 Especially when it's been done many times before. 148 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:29,620 This is seatbelts all over again. 149 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:33,805 And how about getting input from big European developers NOT on this list? 150 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,380 Like CD Projekt or Larian. 151 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:40,230 "We welcome the opportunity to discuss our position with policy makers" 152 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:41,510 Yeah, I bet you do. 153 00:08:41,510 --> 00:08:45,500 "and those who have led the European Citizens Initiative in the coming months." 154 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:49,404 Well, they'll probably be glad to know that's actually not me. 155 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:52,180 I am not the official spokesperson for the initiative. 156 00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:55,366 I'm ineligible. I'm more of a super-promoter. 157 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,800 The reason I'm making this video 158 00:08:57,801 --> 00:09:01,220 is I want to inoculate people against these bad faith arguments. 159 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:05,030 Remember, everything they're saying here is their excuse 160 00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:10,130 for taking away your purchase, with no time frame given, and destroying it forever. 161 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:13,100 Is this a good enough excuse for you? 162 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,540 It isn't for me. 163 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,260 Especially when they're lying. 164 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:18,710 I think that's worth taking into consideration. 165 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:21,610 And on that note, they also released a longer statement. 166 00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,510 But do I really need to go over this? 167 00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:27,953 "Why providing continued support do not work for all games." 168 00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:30,420 Oh, we're back to the classics! 169 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:33,360 Okay, so they don't even understand what we're asking for. 170 00:09:33,361 --> 00:09:35,780 You know what? I'm gonna let them figure it out. 171 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,830 I played that song enough already. 172 00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:40,360 If I have to explain that a 500th time, 173 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,150 I want it to at least be to someone who's not being paid to undermine us. 174 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,560 Now they're going to be lobbying politicians with this, I'm assuming, 175 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,540 but we can try and do our part too. 176 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,870 If you're super motivated on this, and are part of the EU, 177 00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:57,260 you can contact a member of European Parliament and tell them about the initiative. 178 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,254 I've been told you should target ones in the 179 00:09:59,254 --> 00:10:01,620 Internal Market and Consumer Protection Committee. 180 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,620 There's a link in the description below. 181 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,650 Just pick one for your country. 182 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:09,590 And I'm just relaying this next part, I have no idea myself, 183 00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:13,830 But I've been told you should maybe avoid PfE and ESN, 184 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:18,470 as they're not known for "doing things", is how it was explained to me. 185 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,880 And the last bit of advice is, a lot of email to them gets buried. 186 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,460 So if you want something that stands out, this title was suggested to me. 187 00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:30,178 "1M+ sign European Citizens Initiative 'Stop Destroying Video Games': 188 00:10:30,178 --> 00:10:32,866 "Help us protect gamers' consumer rights!" 189 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,898 And that's all I have on Video Games Europe lobbying against us. 190 00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:38,966 For now, I guess. 191 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,950 A quick update to the last video: 192 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:44,060 I didn't mean to scare the hell out of everyone signing. 193 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,166 If you made an honest mistake filling out the initiative, 194 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,590 it won't count, but don't worry. 195 00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:52,000 I don't think you'll be in any trouble with the law. 196 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,280 Just don't spoof fake signatures; that's the part that's a big deal. 197 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,080 Also, don't sign if you're not voting age. 198 00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:02,360 I've said this before, but it's been a while. 199 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,627 There's always 50 things to cover. 200 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,720 Finally, if you have made a mistake, you might be able to get it corrected. 201 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,480 Get in touch with the official spokesperson, Daniel. 202 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,813 His info is on the initiative page. 203 00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,380 All right, that's it. 204 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:18,160 Keep signing to make sure this happens.
- July 7
- 1 reply
The end of Stop Killing Games

Randrye replied to Erasmus Roterodamnsus's topic in English

Nice work Erasmus; the subtitles look great, and that's one hell of a turnaround time!
- June 26
- 7 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Sabotain - Break the Rules

Randrye posted a topic in English

Covert ops and wonky eyes Ross's Game Dungeon Sabotain - Break the Rules.srt
- April 21
Ross's Game Dungeon: Gothic

Randrye posted a topic in English

Merry Christmas, everyone. Ross's Game Dungeon Gothic.srt
- December 29, 2024
- 2 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Yuppie Psycho

Randrye posted a topic in English

If anything, a little too realistic. Ross's Game Dungeon Yuppie Psycho.srt
- November 13, 2024
- 1 reply
Ross's Game Dungeon: Culpa Innata

Randrye posted a topic in English

Objectively Best Subjective "Best Objectivist Game" Review Ross's Game Dungeon Culpa Innata.srt
- August 25, 2024
- 1 reply
Giant FAQ on The European Initiative to Stop Destroying Games!

Randrye posted a topic in English

Relatively tiny subtitle file on the Giant FAQ on The European Initiative to Stop Destroying Games! Giant FAQ on The European Initiative to Stop Destroying Games!.srt
- August 14, 2024
Europeans can save gaming! (short version)

Randrye posted a topic in English

Europeans can save gaming! (short version).srt
- August 9, 2024
Europeans can save gaming!

Randrye posted a topic in English

Rushed this one because it seemed important Europeans can save gaming!.srt
- August 1, 2024
Ross's Game Dungeon: State of Mind

Randrye posted a topic in English

...and with that we are (very technically, very temporarily) up-to-date on Ross's Game Dungeon subtitles! Our next milestone: getting up to date on subtitles and staying there for a whole twenty-four hours! Ross's Game Dungeon State of Mind.srt
- July 27, 2024
Ross's Game Dungeon: Kabus 22

Randrye replied to Randrye's topic in English

Aaand it hasn't been up 24 hours before I found a mistake. 00:08:48 reads: "I should just stay on my ground and drop these counterfeit Lickers." It should read: "I should just stand my ground and drop these counterfeit Lickers." I'd upload a corrected file but I can't edit my original post and don't want to leave file links scattered throughout the thread.
- February 1, 2024
- 2 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Kabus 22

Randrye posted a topic in English

Turkish Resident Devil May Tekken Hair. Ross's Game Dungeon Kabus 22.srt
- January 31, 2024
- 2 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: OutRun Clones

Randrye posted a topic in English

All the looming pixelated hazards you could want. Ross's Game Dungeon OutRun Clones.srt
- January 19, 2024
- 1 reply
Ross's Game Dungeon: The Legend of Kyrandia 2

Randrye posted a topic in English

Fantasy summer vacation. Ross's Game Dungeon The Legend of Kyrandia 2.srt
- January 18, 2024
- 1 reply
Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Randrye replied to Randrye's topic in English

All good. I probably should have made clear that I was talking about the first pass, not the uploaded file. This still gave me the chance to polish the underside of the drawers and make a few tweaks. Also apologies for all the extraneous files at the end of the post. I added them by accident and for the life of me can't figure out how to delete them.
- January 17, 2024
- 5 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Randrye replied to Randrye's topic in English

Sorry, I thought I already got them all. I'll give it another pass and re-upload.
- January 15, 2024
- 5 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Randrye posted a topic in English

A grim, gritty murder mystery with real life themes about an undead cyborg ninja with superpowers who is actually Jesus. Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt This is the final, publication-ready subtitle file. The first pass of these subtitles were generated using Whisper speech recognition with the large-v2 language model, and it was both a huge time-saver and eerily accurate. There were lots of little errors (mistaking 'bit' for 'bid' for example), some titles missing completely where parallel-processed segments were stitched back together, but I'd still say about two-thirds of the subtitles were perfect, requiring only timing corrections. It even did a decent job using capitals for emphasis, or hamming up Ross's emoting. So yeah, it's a great tool that will hopefully speed up subtitle output, but I'm getting a glimpse of the ghost in the machine. Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit.srt Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt Ross's Game Dungeon Fahrenheit final.srt
- January 13, 2024
- 5 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: TrickStyle

Randrye posted a topic in English

Never underestimate the importance of being a human catalyst. Apologies for the long delay, everyone. We now return to our... extremely erratic schedule. Ross's Game Dungeon Trickstyle.srt
- January 12, 2024
- 1 reply
Ross's Game Dungeon: Conquest Earth

Randrye posted a topic in English

Earth for Earthlings. Apologies for the long delay. Further apologies for the Google Drive link; for some reason the forum won't let me attach .zip files like it used to. Ross's Game Dungeon: Conquest Earth Edit: Have added an .srt version without formatting Ross's Game Dungeon Conquest Earth.srt
- July 25, 2023
- 1 reply
Ross's Game Dungeon - SiN

Randrye replied to Randrye's topic in English

Looks like I goofed; not knowing Quake, I put at 29:09 "Well apparently this isn't enough henchmen for Elexis, so she's strongifying corpses to fill in the gaps." It should read: "Well apparently this isn't enough henchmen for Elexis, so she's Stroggifying corpses to fill in the gaps."
- March 15, 2023
- 2 replies
Ross's Game Dungeon: Mage Knight Apocalypse

Randrye posted a topic in English

Uh... Legend!!! Ross's Game Dungeon Mage Knight Apocalypse smi.zip
- January 6, 2023
- 1 reply
Subtitles on top of subtitles

Randrye posted a topic in English

Greetings everyone. I'm finishing up the Mage Knight Apocalypse subtitles and would like your input. At several points, the video subtitles are displayed over the in-game subtitles. At default settings, that means displaying white-on-black text on top of white-on-black text. I find this confusing and hard to read, and I'd like your thoughts on solutions. I'm proposing several in a poll, feel free to suggest more below.
- January 5, 2023
- 1 reply
Division of Labor

Randrye replied to Randrye's topic in English

Alright, let's try the two systems in parallel. I've set up a collaborative Captionfy caption for Conquest Earth here: https://www.captionfy.com/editor/youtube/Pc9e6Y5jzPI?caption=63aa7adf5c6e5ee6a7172d5e. I'll admit I'm a little leery of Captionfy because 1) it's open to everyone on Captionfy, and 2) I... just don't want to use their subtitle editor. I've got SubtitleEdit customised to the level of muscle memory and I'm not in a hurry to give it up. If we get good collaborative workflow going it'd be worth it but... it'd be a wrench.
- December 27, 2022
- 6 replies
Division of Labor

Randrye posted a topic in English

Merry Christmas, everyone. I finally got the subtitles for The Division up, and appropriately, I think it's time to talk about division of labor on subtitling Ross's Game Dungeon. My apologies to everyone for falling so far behind; I finished subbing last year's Christmas episode barely in time for Ross to release this year's Christmas episode. Huge props to Erasmus for picking up some of the slack with the Killing Time subtitles. And that's what I'd like to discuss here. As much as I enjoy making these subtitles it's not fair to people who'd like to work on them, or the viewers that use them, to wait for me to get around to it. So here's what I propose: Right now I'm working on Mage Knight Apocalypse, and expect to have it done in a couple of weeks, call it January 9 (could potentially have it done by New Years but, you know, track record). I suggest anyone who wants to subtitle an episode say so in a post, name the episode they want to do and state a reasonable deadline. Each user can only work on one episode at a time, and if the deadline lapses, someone else can put up their hand and take over. This will allow more people to contribute to the subtitles while avoiding work duplication - and the horrible feeling of working on a set of subs for hours only to trash it because someone else's got posted first - and most importantly, get subtitles done faster. What does everyone think?
- December 26, 2022
- 6 replies

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Everything posted by Randrye

Ross's Game Dungeon: Alan Wake

The industry is lobbying against Stop Killing Games!

The end of Stop Killing Games

Ross's Game Dungeon: Sabotain - Break the Rules

Ross's Game Dungeon: Gothic

Ross's Game Dungeon: Yuppie Psycho

Ross's Game Dungeon: Culpa Innata

Giant FAQ on The European Initiative to Stop Destroying Games!

Europeans can save gaming! (short version)

Europeans can save gaming!

Ross's Game Dungeon: State of Mind

Ross's Game Dungeon: Kabus 22

Ross's Game Dungeon: Kabus 22

Ross's Game Dungeon: OutRun Clones

Ross's Game Dungeon: The Legend of Kyrandia 2

Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Ross's Game Dungeon: Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy)

Ross's Game Dungeon: TrickStyle

Ross's Game Dungeon: Conquest Earth

Ross's Game Dungeon - SiN

Ross's Game Dungeon: Mage Knight Apocalypse

Subtitles on top of subtitles

Division of Labor

Division of Labor

Videos