J.C.

Banned because that's the only way to get things done with Bill. He's a master procrastinator. Also, an alien, I believe. And a gardener. But I'm not sure about that last one.

That's more like it! Now bask in her glory. Yavx9yxTrsw

Banned for asking for clarity.

Banned for having an avatar drawn to you by the artist formerly known as Figunaye. Now I'm coming for you. And it's gonna hurt.

What is this? This thread has become a polite conversation! I will not stand for it! Take this! And this! And this too! I want ALL THE INSANITYYYYYYY!

I'm currently drinking this. (Click to enlarge) Milk + coffee + ice cream. Delicious and refreshing.

Or missiles... whatever is at hand at the moment.

So, after the bachelor party of last week, the groom decided I was ok and invited me to his wedding. Which is tomorrow. I tried contacting this girl I used to go out in college, but she changed her phone number, so I sent her a couple of emails. Today I was finally able to talk to her... and she panicked when I said the event is tomorrow. She said there was no way she could prepare with only one day's notice (dress, shoes, hair). She said she would make it up to me, and invited me to have lunch next week. WOO FUCKING HOO. So, I asked another girl, this time a coworker. She said she would gladly go with me, but first she had to check with her mother, who's coming to visit her for the weekend. She called me about an hour ago, saying that her mother was angry she was going out, when this was supposed to be their weekend together, so sadly she was out also. DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT. This happened as I was passing though one of the floors where the sales force is. I was so angry, I sat with one of the managers and complained about women being crazy. He got up and surveyed the floor, looking for single women for me to invite and finally called on one, yelling across the entire floor, asking her if she would like to go tomorrow to a wedding with me. She yelled back, saying she had the dress and shoes, but had no time to get her hair done. BIG SURPRISE. By now, I was just about ready to do some damage... and I think it showed on my face, because she quickly changed in mid-sentence and said ok, she would go with me to the wedding, she would figure out the preparations. I then walked across the floor to her desk and thanked her for doing me this favor. She said it was ok, but there was just one thing: she needed to ask her housekeeping lady to change her weekend off to this one, to babysit her kid. She's going to talk to her when she get's home and call me later. I'm going to stay positive and hope for the best, but... WHY ARE WOMEN SO BLOODY BONKERS! Why do they need a week's notice in advance to go to a freaking wedding? Buy shoes, a dress, get their hair done... DON'T THEY OWN A FEW DRESSES AND SHOES! WHAT, DO THEY WALK AROUND NAKED THE REST OF THE TIME? WHY DO MOTHERS GET ANGRY IF THEIR ADULT DAUGHTERS WANT TO GO OUT A FEW HOURS ONE WEEKEND? I'M HUSBAND MATERIAL, DAMN IT! I hope this last girl pans out. Shes a bit older than me and seriously cougarish. Not that I have ulterior motives. But you never know.

Banned because I want too, but I have a slight cold and is best if I remain in bed. Horizontality rules!

Banned for looking behind you right now and seeing THAT!

I'm in bed, feeling slightly sick. How do you justify a cold when summer is only a month away?

Banned for incontinence.

And who's going to take care of the intercontinental plane tickets? For ALL of us, I might add?

Banned for pointing out his deception.

[align=center]Nikola Tesla [/align]

Some sort of weird alien perversion Duke encounters when he enters the Alien Hive. Basically boobs... on the walls... and you can slap them safely... you know, because most women in real life apparently don't appreciate that

Banned for implying I speak in tongues.

Banned for bringing back Snuggles.

'Cause there's a portal to Hell in there And that's where I lost you A dimension of pain to bear that's what my love cost you I miss your enormous pair I'm talking about your boobs u3OaL_ALLBA I first heard this song in Chell's Mind. Been a fan ever since

Banned because I answered it. But don't tell anyone!

Banned because yes, there is, you are saying "you're stupendous" (literal translation, a more correct one would be "you're awesome"), but only to a female (stupenda). If you were saying it to a male, it would be "Sei stupendo".

Banned because we can only give store credit.

I'll be watching you very closely from now on, B. Zoo pr0n, infections, giant spiders. No good. I think I'll do something less disturbing now than browsing these forums. Perhaps play some Amnesia or Silent Hill.

Well, at one point in my dream I ripped off the arm of a guy that was trying to mug me through my car window, by holding on to him and then crashing sideways against a police car that was passing by. That was pretty brutal. I also insulted a few friends... but later apologized, so I guess that cancels the "me being a jerk" part of the dream. There was also something about a haunted boarding school, but I can't remember anything else about that. I'm not going to post this in the dream sharing thread, I wouldn't want to come off as a psycho Better for it to remain here, where is safe.