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Post a situation, any situation, and have the next poster say what Gordon Freeman would say/do.

(Ross Scott's Gordon Freeman)

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A 5 foot tall squirrel comes up and tries to attack

 

WWGFD?

Also known as "Username"

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Well, if this had happened on ANY other day, I would be seriously disturbed, but no, this shit's practically mundane by now. I mean, what's it coming to when THAT becomes boring compared to all the other things trying to kill you. Yeah, buddy, get in line and take a number. Hmm...wonder what it tastes like fried?

 

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The crowbar breaks

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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You know, this doesn't surprise me. They have grates made of aluminum foil so this crowbar must be made of sugar cane. Maybe I should eat it, it's been a while since I had those doritos... even if it has alien guts and broken glass all over it, it might hurt... can't be worse than that time back at MIT when the guys dared me to eat the squirrel that got fused to the wires. I'm NEVER gonna go to a BBQ again.

 

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He sees the ghost of Michael Jackson.

Game developments at http://nukedprotons.blogspot.com

Check out my music at http://technomancer.bandcamp.com

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Oh no... not you again. What story are you gonna tell me now? When you tried to pigmentate yourself again with car wax? The time you actually dropped your baby off a valconey and Marty McFly travelled back in time to tell you to get a better grip of him? I'm tired of your bullshit. *shoots MJ's ghost in the head, nothing happens*

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Ge gets surprised by a HECU around corner that puts a gun agaisnt his head.

''Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.'' - Steve Jobs

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Oh shit, the drugs are kicking in now. Wow! Those must of been slow activating drugs.

 

 

 

WWGFD if a toaster started talking to him?

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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Hey you can talk...that must mean you're a magic toaster! Which means you can magically procure me some toast!

 

If he tripped and broke his leg right before climbing a ladder out of Black Mesa.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Kaweebo/

 

"There are no good reasons. Only legal ones."

 

VALVE: "Sometimes bugs take more than eighteen years to fix."

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The Sun! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm outside! and NOT IN THE DESERT!! There's a tree! Its not even trying to eat me. Now, where am I? Wait? what was that? an arrow? Who's shooting arrows? Am I being attacked by Indians now? I STEPPED INTO A TIME MACHINE! Eh, whoever it is, their aim sucks and this thing has good knee padding. I can be their safety orange mechanical god. No, wait, I've seen this in movies, being an all powerful god over a primitive society isn't all it's cracked up to be, it just isn't. I should probably just find my way out of here, can't be any worse than Black Mesa...

 

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Freeman meets Gordon Frohman

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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He blows it up with his RPG.

 

 

WWGFD if he found out he has a twin brother?

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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Holy shit, it's like looking into a mirror. I wwonder if he'll be like one of those Looney Tunes where the one guy does something and the other guy does the same thing simultaneously. THAT would be badass. I just wouldn't be able to shoot him in the face, cuz then I'D get shot, and I'm WAY too important to die.

 

He gets shot in the other ear.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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"Alright, if I was lucky enough to have 2 bullets narrowly miss my temple, I'd say I have a pretty damn good chance of getting out of here alive'

 

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He finds a PINKIE PIE LAUNCHER?

 

 

pinkie_pie_launcher_by_flamingo1986-d3gluka.png

Also known as "Username"

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What the hell is this? Is that a pony? Does this work?"

 

*accidentally sets it off, Pinkie fires into the air laughing both maniacally and gleefully*

 

"Whoa!! I just fired a pony into orbit. This just makes my whole day that much better. Is there any more ammunition?"

 

He gets shot in the eye.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Kaweebo/

 

"There are no good reasons. Only legal ones."

 

VALVE: "Sometimes bugs take more than eighteen years to fix."

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^

ninja'd

 

AH!! AH! AH! MY HAIR!! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! AH! AH!! AH!! *stops, drops, rolls, and pats it out*

 

Oh man, I look like a Bond villain now.

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He finds an unlocked fire exit

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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Holy shit...Is this...Is this for real? *Backs up* Well...That's definitely an exit sign, and that definitely looks like an exit...Well all right! I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth! *Walks ahead while whistling*. WHOA! *Stops abruptly*. Now hold on just a minute. I just walked into an ambush in front of a first aid kit. And now, the first fire exit I see in two fucking days, is just standing here out of nowhere. You know what? I'm not doing this. I bet there's a fucking tank at the bottom of those stairs or something. That's not likely but nothing else that's gone on today was either. To hell with it, I've been doing just fine so far I'll just keep following the dead bodies."

 

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What if he wandered into a minefield, and right in the middle of it he notices the warning sign?

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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