Jek Jek Roo

I'm talking about it in general, mostly since... i struggle with it in communication with others or just expressing myself (even in art) so I dont really know how to fight this anxiety. But thanks for help, BTG... *hugs*

even kermit left irc omg ._.

my mood right now: upset with everything, tired and it's 3 am, I should go and try to sleep a bit, but can't.

How to cure this kind of fear thinking when you come up with an idea and wanne share it or express it but then quickly you got this "better not, it's stupid idea" kind of thinking, without even knowing if it's really good or not.

sometimes fat ppl scares me ._.

Swans - You know Nothing and also Screenshot. Amazing but not sure if there is any link aviable.

almost every day someone has birthday on this forum, thats just amazing!

I stopped watching after he repeated himself the 8th time, and did nothing else for 30 seconds. why are you telling me this then. Does that makes you feel better or what?

smoked salmon on bread

hi!

Last night I woke up thinking is there a disney movie about Koppenhagen city bying fled by water since the whole world is evil and the water was everywhere and everyone died, and letting ghosts swim in the water covering streets not allowing people get down so they must live on the roofs and not get down on the boats and face their inner self, fix their minds and get better as people by being with themselfes? Only few survived, The character was one dreaming nerd historian, an old lady who saved her horse from drowning and had no one else, a stubborn guard that wanted to kill a monster whale/shark, and also alot of cats (animal characters)??? Ghosts were fucking scary as shit. They were swimming in water, corrupting animals and making the water like toxic. The characters needed to face what they were affraid of, start helping each other and be good in order to move the water and ghosts away. Also they needed to get down under the city to find a way to get rid of the water. I think my mind created a disney movie plot. Or something. It felt like Disney cause I saw everything in this cartoony style.

well... fortunetelly there is allways a way to fix it, and think about your behaviour. In this case the most important is understanding from both sides. If you are willing to change or at least be aware of it, it's good I guess. The worst is to be the toxic person and not knowing about it, or avoiding the truth. I knew a person who would rather blame me for telling her that I dont like her. Like seriously, the worst thing to hear from a person you trust I think is "if you don't like me as a friend then leave, I dont need you" kind of thing. This hurts... @Rarity, I feel you. Those kinds of relationships can really fuck up even best person and friend. I myself feel like I got a bit... colder towards new people. Also still suffer from this low self esteem attacks and sometimes I doubt myself but... I bet the best thing would be just move on and learn from it. Like I said, I shared alot of great moments with my toxic friend as well, but things passed and now after a time I look at it as something that lasted, but ended fastly. Fortunatelly. I hope you wont have any problems in the future with those people. @Jeb I am transgender .-. but I assure you not all transgender people are the same, as well not all gay/straight people are the same. Only sometimes people can be assholes and fuck up the whole perception of the certain type of people... Like if you met really asshole gay person, later after such relationship you can start thinking like all gay ppl are assholes. I know it's reasy to say "it's not like that" but sometimes it's hard to overcome such impression that had an impact on us at first. Also sex change is a huge deal, trust me, I strugle with it, but I dont want to worry people with it much. I barely even say that out loud. Also understanding the other person is important, I mean seriosuly... if he wanted to be female, that doesn't change him by personality. It's still the same person though. Unless you belive that there is female personality/ male personality so then fine... Still, the point is that sometimes people can get so toxic and confusing about their own problems and literaly pour their problems and sorrows into other people or worst, into closest friends. Like... nothing else matters but his problems. That's annoying as hell and I bet very draining. Alos Jeb, that second story sounds so... bad. I mean really, I knew people like that, I knew people who had similiar problems with their friends and I ask myself.. where do those people come from. I mean, I understand when someone has problems or depression/needs support, but there should be limit how much you ask for help. Constant attention seeking and draining doesn't help any relationship. You can either tell this straight to that person and hope she may change or work on it, if she gets butthurt and tells you that you are the mean one to you, then I'd leave. You deserve better than this. AND the worst thing is when somoene uses his disability as an excuse to really bitchy behaviour. This is just lazy and not good. I recently got into friendship with a bpd person. That means she is very unstable at some points and out of no where can start seeing you as their worst enemy, although you may know the perso whole life. And... it's hard. Sometimes it's really pain in the ass, since you need to repeat yourself, and give so much with little effect. There is sometimes no trust between us, and really I've allready been through very hatefull moments. I even got called like I'm the bad one since I wanted to help. However after every attack on me I hear geniue apologies and asking to stay and support... nothing else, just some understanding and patience. And I really dont want this person to suffer because of some disability or guilt towards me. That's why I learned to deal with it and somehow understand, also not blame the person too much for what she does. I think it really helps. I just trust her she will not leave me and for some reason I stayed with her for long time. It's like... even if it's hard sometimes, I know it works and we can still work together somehow since both sides understand each other a bit. I'm just greatfull I know this person... but sometimes, some people doesn't see anything bad in their behaviour and keep complaining how everyone is bad to them not seeing their own flaws. but then again, you can meet a toxic person who will only see negative things about themselfes and drain you as well. The best is to know the balance though. But even I fail. I can get really clingy or upset/sad or even depressed when I see my best frined avoiding me or lying to me. I try to not focus too much on my own problems sometimes in normal chat and just stay positive. But I also do mistakes like everyone else.

I think the topic tittle speaks for itself. Do you guys had anything like that? Toxic relationships/friendships happens all the time, it ruins one or both people, or even people around. Sometimes things doesnt work between two people but for some reason they keep together, despite arguining or suffering. Wanne share stories or thoughts on this? Do you know any reasons or guidince how to get rid of them or how to fight it ect? feel free to share anything here. I wanted to start this topic since I coun't find anything also vent/share your feeligs topic seemed like a good place to get rid of some steam, but seriously, now let's talk about this topic seriously. my cool story, if you are interested:

That boy needs therapy!

g2plyfz_v9g aaaah holy shit, I'm addicted to this song.

Nice whale! My favourite is the whale. XP Whales are cute. I've seen a whale in the wild before, it was cool. I love their tails. X3 I drew this. X3 Took me 3 hours, I love it so much. Never going to get into realism... this art style is way too much fun! OMG YES! btw my life goal is to touch a whale. I fucking love those animals. I'm so jellous of you now aaah! btw thanks alot everyone! glad you like it!

just ate salad with chikpeas and mayo

*hugs Jeb*

Oa-ae6_okmg

Ugh finally done with all commission sketches. Now only few left, but I can't hide it, I enjoy drawing them. Recently I felt bad about my works and in general abot myself, but... I can't fall into this. I need to work and move on. .-. I'm glad to have this website tho. Idk why I like this place so much.

OH PAM! looks great and cute! Nice work! lately I was drawing some sketches and studies but this is only decent thing I came up with:

Idk but... Haloween event starts. I think I will farm or chill a bit for some items.

OMG this SH1 texture .-. OT: eating sandwich, preparing to draw some commissions now, feeling like getting on AF IRC and sitting there in bg till someone appears.

I wasn't playing for along time. Maybe a year or something. I heard the whole game is broken (not saying that trading is no fun anymore since I have to log in for email every time I wanne change weapon with someone. WTf. Did this gone so bad? anyone willing to play with me from time to time? I could try again tho, but idk. It seems broken so much since then.

2449 HA HA