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What would you do if...

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Yes? No? I guess the best answer would have to be "whichever happens I will accept".

 

If you could do any 1 thing and get away with it?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Convince you to grow kudzu in your yard.

 

What would you do if you were given the chance, one time only and you can't wait, to go back to the start of your life with all your present knowledge?

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Convince you to grow kudzu in your yard.

If I had a yard that I could grow things in, I would... And Mulberry trees. Two of my favorite plants.

 

What would you do if you were given the chance, one time only and you can't wait, to go back to the start of your life with all your present knowledge?

Take it. I'd be a millionaire by age 8, and be able to make friends with my current friends anyways.

 

If you could remake any one single body part on your own body in any way, but only once?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Convince you to grow kudzu in your yard.

If I had a yard that I could grow things in, I would... And Mulberry trees. Two of my favorite plants.

 

Well you're in luck, then. Because kudzu will grow anywhere. In fact, it'll grow anywhere so well you won't have to maintain it and it'll never leave you again!

 

Take it. I'd be a millionaire by age 8, and be able to make friends with my current friends anyways.

 

Bold claim. Want to explain how? This promises to amuse me.

 

If you could remake any one single body part on your own body in any way, but only once?

 

I'd remake my skin and reinforce it with carbon nanotubes, making me highly resistant to puncture injuries. Then I'd figure out a way to use my new-found bulletproof skin for my own benefit. At the very least, I can always find work as "The Bulletproof Man", but I reckon I could use it to do much more than that.

 

If you were reincarnated every time you died, and retained memory of your last life (and nothing before then) each time you were reborn? (Personally, I'd take over the world. But that's just me.)

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Well you're in luck, then. Because kudzu will grow anywhere. In fact, it'll grow anywhere so well you won't have to maintain it and it'll never leave you again!

I know; part of why I like them.

 

Bold claim. Want to explain how? This promises to amuse me.

I'm 27, I can remember the outcome of every Super Bowl (among other betting events) for my first 8 years, and have actually done the math in the past to determine that I could get to $1.2m starting with only $50 (which would be very easy to get) and betting for 2 years on those events.

 

I would even begin investing into Apple and Google. (I'd pull out of Apple at their peak though)

 

If you were reincarnated every time you died, and retained memory of your last life (and nothing before then) each time you were reborn? (Personally, I'd take over the world. But that's just me.)

I would probly do a lot of things, at the very least find a girl that would marry me.

 

If the solar system was suddenly surrounded by a Dyson sphere?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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I know; part of why I like them.

 

Well, I'm sure you can find some seeds. Call back in six months and tell me how that's going for you. Like, if you can still find your door.

 

I would probly do a lot of things, at the very least find a girl that would marry me.

 

Well, I don't think we'll have that good of robots for a long time, but if you're immortal I guess you can wait.

 

Anyway. As for the question, I'd find a way to tap into THAT solar energy. Because holy crap, that's a lot.

 

If you had all the energy from a Dyson sphere at your disposal?

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Well, I'm sure you can find some seeds. Call back in six months and tell me how that's going for you. Like, if you can still find your door.

I already know someone who has some small saplings that I can get, but since I'm renting right now I can't plant them.

 

If you had all the energy from a Dyson sphere at your disposal?

Dispose of it into another star, just to see what would happen.

 

If all the weird shit the Japanese come up with for their hentai started appearing all over the world?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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I wouldn't be too concerned. After all, that kind of thing isn't really any more common or bizarre in Japan than it is elsewhere, it's just better known and isn't even usually made in Japan so most of the really weird shit was eliminated by the set-up! Not to mention that "hentai" is a western borrow-word and in actual Japanese it actually means "deviation", "abnormality" or "perversion", so actually the set-up eliminated everything it was trying to unleash!

 

If all the weird shit from anime-style animated pornography started appearing all over the world?

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Nothing new would be happening. (anime-style animated porn is just a bunch of drawings that represent people having sex in relatively normal ways)

 

If people never took things out of context?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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(Uh, no. Pornography is a wide range, sir. And all the stuff that happens in "hentai" is still porn. Just like a western 3d animated porno with a viking having sex with a valkyrie is still porn, so is "hentai".)

 

Conversations would be a lot less convenient, as this would mean explaining the full context of everything people talk about and that is a lot of extra work. I think what you meant to say was "If people never intentionally left out context in order to change the meaning of what's being said." And in that case, I don't really know, but I would probably not be as irritated by you.

 

If you had to keep a post schedule that didn't have you active at a ridiculous hour in the morning when most people are asleep? (I am aware of the hypocrisy!)

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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I would adjust. I've done every sleep schedule there is, and though I do better with late schedules, I can do them all well.

 

If you found a credit card on the street with your name on it, (though not being yours) and it had no limit on it, and nobody would ever claim it?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Ignore it, probly fell out of someone's backpack, and they'll be back to pick it up later when they realize they don't have it.

 

If you were unable to sleep for 30 days straight, but wouldn't die from it and would still get tired?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Hallucinate. Alot. Then die after the 30 days are up.

 

If you had to feed North Korea with only the contents of your house/apartment/living area?

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Watch everyone in North Korea go hungry... Then go out to eat.

 

If you suddenly appeared naked in the central most city of China?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Sing the first song that comes to my head. And probably get arrested.

 

If you knew you were secretly a Chinese sleeper agent with orders to destroy Chicago?

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Say "fuck you" to the Chinese, destroy Chicago, and fly the 42 flag over the ruins while singing Mary Had A Little Lamb, because fuck Chicago. (I'd wait for the evacuation to complete first though)

 

If that actually happened, with the only difference being that I did it without pants?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Walk/drive down to the store and buy some food.

 

If your senses were permanently scrambled so that you heard light, saw sound, felt smells, tasted tactile feeling, and smelled tastes, pain was pleasure, and pleasure was still pleasure?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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I'd probably audition to be on some stupid stunt show.

 

if you could revive one dead TV show(, or game franchise) for one more season(, or game)?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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