Jeb_CC

"Now... which pen should I use this time to write with?"

^ This hit me way too hard.

What's the ritual to summon the almighty SelfSurprise? Maybe if we bang the table hard enough he'll hear us from the other forum sections. Or... SELFSURPRISE!!! GET YOUR ABSTRACT ASS OVER HERE.

viewtopic.php?f=55&t=7746&start=36 Read Obsidian's post and then mine. XD But it's okay. I've calmed down with my weird-as-fuck jealousy or whatever it is. I think this would be easier if you knew the personality type of your IRL friends or at least friends on the internet. There's no real test... XD It's just... sharing your raw experience like, what's the personality type of your best friend, and what's the personality type of your nemesis? That sorta thing.

I dunno how many people will respond to this request but I'm undergoing research and I need people to help me. If you'd kindly, tell me the personality type you get along with the most, the one you get along... meh with, and the one that you despise. Or whatever you can answer. It'd be wonderful help! And for whatever sakes, I'll add my own. I get along with the most: INTP Get along with meh: INTJ Get along with the least: ENFP

Lol Rarity. XD Sounds fun. It's like stacking hats. Relatedly, I finished my Major Assignment for Computer Science. I made a Battleships game. XD Cause... why not.

*Shrug* It happens! Could be many reasons for why you have it. Just drink water I guess. XD Water fixes everything.

Sometimes you gotta make the good things happen yourself. Buy yourself some ice-cream, that's always nice.

Oh man, Helio, never has somebody come up to me and been; "So how is that?" Bloody hell, thank you. XD I didn't know too much about it myself. I thought; "Well I'm happy all the time so I'll never get depression! I'm too optimistic!" but oh how wrong I was... XD So gravely wrong. First off, before I start ranting, I want you to drill it into your head that everything I say beyond this is from my own perspective. Everyone experiences depression differently, so I can't vouch for the rest of them, but I can vouch for myself. So... 'Feeling depressed' and 'Having depression' are two completely different things. Anyone can 'feel depressed'. It's just another word for sad. But HAVING depression is having a mental illness. It's cause the chemicals in your brain are fucked up. Why they're fucked up can be because of all sorts of different things. You don't have to be in a shitty situation to have depression, it happens to anyone. But it makes me really annoyed when people disregard depression because they think; "Oh sure, EVERYONE's been depressed. No big deal, get over it." Because that's just not true. Depression isn't actually all that common. It's like... 6% of the population has depression in a year or something like that. Don't quote me on that. To me it feels like... not sadness. It feels more being 'down' than being sad. And it goes so deep sometimes that your heart literally physically aches. I dunno why, but it does. >.> I'm not ALWAYS down though. Sometimes I am rather chipper, but that's when I'm distracted. My motivation is non-existent, the usual urge to draw or write vanishes a lot, comes back eventually but then leaves again at some point. But the way I perceive my world has gone to hell pretty much. You wake up, don't want to get out of bed. Everyday work just feels like worthless hours spent on nothing. You see your friends as people who don't care, see your own life as a waste of air and space. I've had this depression for a good few months now, and that was enough to completely fuck up my schedule and work habits. I cannot actually get into Uni now because the work I have done isn't up to standard, all because I don't see the point anymore. And that turns into a cycle... "I was doing so well and now I can't even get B's in my grades. Wtf is wrong with me?" It just gets worse and worse, you start questioning what your worth is, who your friends are, what the point of anything is because it's so hard to feel happy. And isn't that what people live for? To live it to the fullest and be happy? So without happiness, then what? I know people tell me; "Depression doesn't last forever" but it seems to go straight through my ear and out the other. All that matters is the now, never about the future. Depending on how bad the depression is, your thoughts can take a rather dark turn. But then later on I have the sudden sanity to think; "Wait, that's stupid. What was I thinking?" Other part about depression is... I don't know if it's just my twisted thinking or not but it feels like my friends don't give a shit. XD So I don't talk to anyone about it. What's the point? I bottle everything up, I think; "I have barely any problems. Why do I have depression? This is stupid. Other people suffer way more than me" and that keeps me locked up indefinitely. My parents don't even know I have depression, I think only... the forum, and a mate from school knows I have it. And since I'm no longer seeing a psychologist and cannot see one because of my busy schedule, I can't get a prescription for anti-depressants, can't talk to a professional, and basically need to rely on the 'time heals all wounds' theory. I don't want people to care about me anyway though to be honest. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. XD They don't need mine on top of that. So, I dunno, I'll deal. Then other than the mental stuff, physically... I've had bouts of insomnia, the occasional visual and auditory hallucination, and decreased appetite. So it's very much... self-fueling. Without all the sleep, without all the energy, well that doesn't help the chemical imbalance much so your head is just kinda fucked up for a while till it sorts itself out again. And mini-rant, I hate it when people say they're depressed when they're not. I'm talking about the people who post it on FB to get attention and those "I'm sorry, luv you bby" comments. :I It pisses me off. I dunno if it's the same for everyone in this one aspect, but if it is, then you wouldn't be asking for attention!! You'd be wallowing in the corner of your room and be all; "Nobody gives a shit so why bother asking for help?".

@SelfSurprise: Being optimistic here, he probably just wants to have your company. That's all. People change their minds a lot. And thank you. But something I'm always positive about? Do hobbies count? Like, a specific hobby? My other hobbies I can grow mentally tired of, like drawing and stuff. But one hobby I don't think will ever get old is learning about psychology. It's just so damn interesting. And it's strange that I want to know so much about human interaction when I hate everything and am introverted as all hell. XD But it's something that distracts me from reality and doesn't make me feel annoyed. So I guess I should do more stuff with that. I should totally get myself a book on psychology... I don't read a lot of books but I would LOVE to read that book.

How often do the nightmares come about for you? And when do they stop? Cause, I need my own nightmares to stop. XD Please. How did you cope!? And that Deja Vu thing sounds really familiar. I've heard the whole; "anticipate certain results" thing plenty of times but I don't see how that's possible when I can remember details so clearly. It's so weird.

Man, don't jinx me. XD Bad News: You can't recreate what you've discovered and thus nobody believes you. Good News: A lady bought you a free drink at the bar!

Bad news: We had a small team to go there first but a storm forced them to come back. They unfortunately left a man behind on Mars and now we gotta save him somehow. (The references are so real right now. Saw that movie recently, really damn good.) Good News: Graduation is close!

Team Fortress 2. Urghrr, it's so fun. The best matches are the matches were nobody is winning. XD Like, the teams are just so perfectly equal. And I've gotten super good at my airblasting, it's such a satisfying feeling when you reflect a crit rocket. :') Also, where do I get the support points from? Cause I'm apparently the best at it. XD

You're spiking my curiosity. XD

You're right... how about drinking bleach? It might numb the pain of your stomach ache. XD Great advice.

Yusss. But wow, man, you are RIGHT on the border of things. XD The only thing definite about you is the Intuitive and Assertiveness. But everywhere else, damn. I place my bets on you fitting into an INTJ more though. XP

Breathing life into this thread cause this stuff still fascinates me, and if I may subtly urge... I heard a little SelfSurprise and Helio hasn't taken this test yet. (At least I don't think they have...) *nudge, prod, poke* Here's a cool site for more personality tests. http://www.personalityhacker.com/ And I redid the test recently... Comparing to my previous results... I'm more introverted, more intuitive, less feeling, more judging, and less turbulent. Thus I have concluded I'm slowly turning into a judgmental piece of edgy shit. XD

Looking sick, mate. Love the piercings.

Hooray! Welcome back to the forum! Loving the new name too.

i wish we still had some of that stuff over here, mum bought this really disgusting brand of bacon and my stomach is killing me Force yourself to vomit. Works 10/10.

Time for a depressive vent! Depression just loves to hit you like a fucking truck. You think you're doing fine, you've done heaps of work, all is well. Then just... one tiny little thing happens, and then suddenly it snowballs and you've lost the motivation to do anything and everything. You can't stop thinking about the shitty stuff you've done in your life and how much of a flawed piece of shit you are, and it's so hard to talk to people because everyone is so happy and you feel like you've got to be happy with them because if you're not, you're going to ruin their day by being a sour bastard. Games aren't fun, drawing isn't fun, lying in bed and thinking about how shit you are is more fun than anything you could possibly think of. But hey, nothing I can do about it! I'm just waiting for the day when I can finally like... mold myself with my depression so it doesn't affect me anymore. Blargrh. I hate my head.

Yeah, I've never been too bothered over spoilers before. I know people who absolutely lose their head if something gets spoiled for them. XD But it's like... what happened to the; "It's not about the end, it's about the journey?" motto? I really don't care what the ending is like, it's not the ending that makes me enjoy the story overall, it's about everything in between!

XD After I finish other things I wanna draw. I'm drawing some weird comic idea, then I gotta draw my sister an avatar for her DA, and then I can do your thing. XP That does remind me though... My Guildie asked me to draw something for him for his Discord avatar a little while ago, and I asked; "Okay, what do you want?" "Uhh, I don't know. I can't really make decisions like this." "...Okay." And I made this as a joke. But he's been using it for his avatar ever since. XD