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Useless Advice

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You can't, Isis is immortal. And why would you want to do such a thing? Isn't she the patron saint of women and children?


I still can't fly when I flap my arms, can anyone teach me?

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Glue some feathers onto your arms, and remove all clothing.


How do I prepare for the zombie apocalypse?

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To modify a game, decorate the disc with whatever you like! Glitter/ paint/ pencils/ et cetera will make the graphics more colourful, gluing on some hairs/ furs from some creatire will add that creature to the game, and attacking the disc with a weapon will add that weapon to the game!

This is why I HATE digital games, because they can't be modded!


How do I find my car keys and wallet?

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If you shoot a bullet through your brain at juuust the right angle, the depressed part of your brain will go, and you will be happy.


How do I make my kids stop fighting?

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When they're about to kick the ball, shout: "Oi Look! A Bitch with her Tits out!"


How do I beat the Asian girl in a maths test?

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