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yfw Your parents think you've gone outside for a while when you really just went to your room and you can hear them start having sex in the room over.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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You're in the crapper, crapping, and you look to your right to see a spider.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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You're in your backyard building a wall for your patio. You hear a buzzing look down, and see a 3 inch hornet crawling out of the side of the trench where you just placed a block.

(Oddly specific isn't it? And I am absolutely panic-attack-afraid of hornets)

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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yfw you gain the amazing powers of Melt Man, with the incredible ability to......wait for it.....melt

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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yfw you discover your likeness has been used as a mascot for a beloved children's cartoon and associated cereal brand for years without paying you royalties

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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raw

 

YFW Your father wants to spend time with you but you, knowing that any conversation will lead to him being upset with you or putting you down, decline the offer, causing him to be incredibly pissed, storming around the house and threatening to take back the iPod that you worked so hard for with no reasoning and telling you your room needs to be cleaned when it's absolutely spotless.

 

(In other news, passive-agressive venting can be therapeutic and has shown positive correlations to stress relief)

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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yfw you learn that Kevin Bacon will star in a new Tremors sequel

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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Kevin's on the left.

 

 

YFW A giant, sentient dildo crashes through the wall of your house and begins to attempt to ram itself into some oraface on your body.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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yfw you now live in a monchrome environment with periodic frightening narration from a mysterious man who no one else notices, ever

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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You discover the cure for cancer which turns out to be drinking your own piss.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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(That's Bear Grylls)

 

You see an old friend in public and when you go to hug them, it turns out to be somebody else.

Life is just a time trial; it's all about how many happy points you can earn in a set period of time

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yfw an old friend of yours has disappeared and only you can save her by travelling to another mysterious dimension on your trusty steed, when you are beset by a masked villain who steals your horse and transforms you into a horrible wooden effigy of yourself

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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yfw you are exactly the same except you cannot look up or down ever again.

"That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any breach of morality."

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>YFW you are attacked by the Me Gusta face.

Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?

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