"Corrupt a Wish"

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, you now know everything. There is nothing left to learn. With this knowledge, you begin to wonder if it really was oh so important to know everything. Then it hits you, you don't know everything. Realizing this truth, you go and seek out the answer. Days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. You're an old man now, and yet you still can't answer this one question. The torture, and pressure is too much, so, you pull out your laser pistol and end it all.

 

R.I.P. The Man Who Knew Too Much.

 

I wish for a hotdog.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, and it's so hot that it sets fire to you and your house.

 

I wish my parents would quit rushing me.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you now know everything. There is nothing left to learn. With this knowledge, you begin to wonder if it really was oh so important to know everything. Then it hits you, you don't know everything. Realizing this truth, you go and seek out the answer. Days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. You're an old man now, and yet you still can't answer this one question. The torture, and pressure is too much, so, you pull out your laser pistol and end it all.

 

Aww, come on. No Love craft reference? That was set up perfectly.

 

OT: Granted, but now they stop showing emotion.

 

I wish for a secret torture chamber.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but now it's so secret that even you can't find it.

 

I wish there was a place that did cheeseburger delivery like the do with pizza delivery.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but the delivery method is them driving through your door with a semi, and throwing all the ingredients randomly around your house.

 

I wish I had something to drink.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but it kills you.

 

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but the knowledge kills you.

 

I wish I could sleep easier.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you go into a dream where you are slowly eaten and can't wake up.

 

I wish the good guys didn't always win.

Edited April 9, 2014 by Guest (see edit history)

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... The good guys now win the same amount as always.

 

I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

[Professor Vex]

It's gone, but now the pain is replaced in your mind with the sound of raw meat being hurled down a gravel driveway constantly.

 

I wish my beard was made of cotton candy.

[BTGBullseye]

(oh, so my tinnitus was just made more interesting, and less annoying... AWESOME!)

 

Granted, but it is cotton candy after it has been digested by a bird... Twice... (they do that, I've seen it)

 

I wish I had $15 million dollars bequeathed to me by some rich person that just died.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but shortly after taking it you are beat to death by a drugged up chimpanzee.

 

I wish for food.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... That food is rotten and moldy, and drags you down into itself and slowly digests you for a thousand yea.... Oh wait... Wrong movie there.

 

Despite being beaten to death by a pothead chimp, I still wish for things... Like a good pizza.

[ThePest179]

Granted, it's so good that you kill yourself because "everything else is just a letdown now."

 

(Try and find that reference!)

 

I wish for peace.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... You now at peace... In pieces... 6 feet under...

 

Despite having deadception, I recovered from my malaise and wish for another of those pizzas.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but there was only one of them. You kill yourself in frustration.

 

I wish for conspiracy theories to be correct so that it doesn't seem like millions of people are wasting their lives on a bunch of dumbassery.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but the government covers them up so well that the theories themselves cease to exist and cease to be created.

 

Despite continued deadception, and frustration, I still wish for another of those pizzas... This time in a Calzone style...

[ThePest179]

Granted, but this time it's surrounded by radiation lethal enough to kill thousands of elephants all at once. You try anyway and instantly die.

 

I wish for a kill counter in this thread.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, but it can only be seen when the thread is loaded on a hacked Sega Dreamcast

 

I wish this god damned alienware wasn't filled with the last users malware, or a talking can of re-fried beans.

[Seattleite]

Granted, but it's been replaced with an entirely new set of malware, and Clippy's back.

 

I wish I had a million bucks.