Joke Thread.

[Mr Green]

Conversation between SS (Serious Sam) players:

-"I slaughtered 1000 monsters."

-"Only 1000? N00b."

[Bravetriforcer]

Dragonball: Evolution

[Pinkie Pie]

No, The Last Airbender was a joke. DragonBall: Evolution was just...pain...

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

... me

[Mr Green]

whatdafaqshow is a joke.

[J.C.]

When a third grader was asked to cite Newton's first law, she said, "Bodies in motion remain in motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed unless their mothers call them to get up."

[Mr. ShinyObject]

So I go to my quantum mechanic and say "Hey, my particles are acting like waves. Can you fix that?"

 

He says, "Sure, I'll take a look at it."

[Pinkie Pie]

Well thanks for making me feel stupid for not getting the joke, Shinobj!

 

I'm calling you Shinobj now.

[Mr. ShinyObject]

Well thanks for making me feel stupid for not getting the joke, Shinobj!

 

I'm calling you Shinobj now.

Quantum mechanics is essentially about how sometimes something acts like a particle, and sometimes it acts like a wave, depending on whether or not its being observed.

 

And I don't like that name. It leaves out the letter that forces people to smile. I prefer Shiny or Mr. Shiny.

 

Though Shinobj looks an awful lot like Shinobi, which is a ninja name, so I'll let it slide just this once.

[J.C.]

And I don't like that name. It leaves out the letter that forces people to smile.[/

Mhmm.... ect?

[Mr. ShinyObject]

And I don't like that name. It leaves out the letter that forces people to smile.

Mhmm.... ect?

"y"

 

Shine - ee - object

 

the same "ee" sound as in "say cheese"

[Mr Green]

26dtpOZw0do

lolololololololol!

[Doom Shepherd]

Q:How many deconstructionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

A:Even the framing of this question makes a grid of patriarchal assumptions that reveals a slavish devotion to phallocentric ideas - such as, technical accomplishment has inherent value, knowledge can be attained and quantities of labor can be determined empirically, all of which makes a discourse which further marginalizes the already disenfranchised.

 

Q: How many U. N. weapons inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: What lightbulb?

 

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

A: That depends on your definition of the word 'screw'.

 

Q: How many armies does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: At least five. The Germans to start it, the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while, the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then try again from the other side, the Americans to turn up late and finish it off and take all the credit, and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

 

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

A: Five. One to change the lightbulb and the other four to fill out the Environmental Impact Statement.

 

Q: How many OWS protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: The lightbulb only lights 1% of the room! End the War on Darkness! Free Mumia! Light is oppressive anyway! Communism makes better lightbulbs! The Light-bulb-breaking is an inside job! I'm just here to get chicks! Everybody has to switch to florurescents, now! I thought this was the anti-Light demonstration! I want a high-wattage lightbulb in my preferred color, or free electricity! The Lightbulb manufacturers have too much power! Trololololol!

[Doublenature]

Q: How many armies does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: At least five. The Germans to start it, the French to give up really easily after only trying for a little while, the Italians to make a start, get nowhere, and then try again from the other side, the Americans to turn up late and finish it off and take all the credit, and the Swiss to pretend nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

 

Hahaha! Made my day!

[Epsilon]

If alphabetagamma became president of the United States (for whatever reason...), what would his name be?

 

ABYraham Lincoln.

 

rimshot.wmv

[Mr. ShinyObject]

jQ4kL4pI-rY

[Dr. Derpy Hooves Ph.D]

Almost every famous vlogger.

[Red]

An argon atom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The argon doesn't react.

 

A man in the USSR during the 60s is filling out a form in the federal building.

Where were you born: St. Petersburg

Where did you grow up: Petrograd

Where do you live: Leningrad

Where do you want to die: St. Petersburg

 

It's the same city regardless.

 

[scott155]

Student 1: "I'm off to my female anatomy class."

Student 2: "I thought you said you were going to study abroad?"

Student 1:"I am."

[J.C.]

AMAZING BUT TRUE ... There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.