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2264 - Demonic cakes defeat the muffin race and they start taking over the Earth.

"FUCK YOU REALITY!!YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!!!"

"Hark! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine? Interloper! No quarter shall be shown hither, fiend! Anon! Show thyself, churl!"

http://myanimelist.net/profile/MantisDude

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2265 - Demonic cakes start breeding with the humans and create new species: The Butt monkies.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2266 - People realize the last few years were just really bad sci-fi B movies.

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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2267 - People realize their overlord is ending their fun while playing games, and they try to overtake him.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2268 - people try to overtake the overlord on a hard shoulder, but get pulled over by police and given a fine and three points on their license.

I USED TO DREAM ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR

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2271 - Come on! Why is nobody buying these years? The rates are really low!

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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2274 - A monkey eats the squirrel that bought a year.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2275 - The monkey, not realising it ate the owner of the previous year, inherits this subsequent year, and promptly goes insane with the potential power, becoming President of The Moon.

I USED TO DREAM ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR

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2276 - After the moronic monkey suffocates on the moon, people refuse to even consider buying years.

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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2277 - The monkey is revived by the banana gods with the ability to breath anywhere/in anything.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2278 - The revived moronic monkey, with its divine respiratory system, begins to once again accumulate power, causing the banana gods to question if what they did was the right thing. After all, monkeys are...*drawn* to bananas...

 

Meanwhile on Earth, humanity having witnessed the power of the banana gods, wonder if they should have kept the now-apparently holy hapless herbs alone in the first place...

I USED TO DREAM ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR

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2279 - A fast asteroid is flying towards earth when the moronic monkey jumps on top of it. It's going so fast that the earthlings have no time to react to it, and before they know it, it's past right through the earth. About 65 million years ago, a moronic monkey, riding an asteroid crash lands into earth killing all the dinosaurs, while keeping the moronic monkey safe. The other monkies now bow down and worship this monkey as their new god.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2280 - Alternate realities are eliminated from the multiverse, thereby eliminating the monkey threat permanently.

bi ti ʤi ˈbulzaɪ

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